Class Notes from Sociology of the Family FHSU
Class Notes from Sociology of the Family FHSU 388
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Sociology of the Family Exam III Notes Chapter 6: Love and Choosing a Life Partner Class Notes Homogamy = marrying someone as the same religion, education, social class, age – these marriages tend to be happier Arranged marriages o Still common in some parts of the world Assisted marriages o Parents and other forces make the choice (give the child several choices to pick from) Free Mate o System used in US o We claim romantic love – this is something that used to take place outside of marriage o Basis of “free mate” marriages is emotion o We claim that there is no control over this – “can’t stop love” o “Only 1 person out there meant for me” o We over idealize the other person – look past their flaws – ignore anything bad o “Marriage is a ‘cure all’” – thinking that love will cure everything – “things will get better when we get married” o Expectation that we will be possessive and jealous – ties back to ‘one person for each person’ African Americans have become the greatest unmarried group in US o They are the least likely to marry o They are the most likely to divorce o During slavery they weren’t allowed to marry – they practiced “jumping over the broom” o African American woman are the biggest group of unmarried people o In 1950 9/10 black women married o Today 3/10 black women are married – 7/10 are unmarried o College educated black women are no more likely to stay married than a white women that graduated high school o African American men who are employed are less likely to be married than white men o Theories why they don’t get married decline is They stay away from marriage because slavery scarred them happenin They come from African culture – marriage is less pivotal there g to all The deindustrialization – opportunities have declined for all men races Government welfare is generous to black women – not generally And in otheral supported countries Black women don’t want to get married – not generally supported Less incentive to get married today – before they needed survival, food The expectations of a mate are very high- soul mate, friend, love, parent There aren’t enough African American men to go around for all the African American men Many African American men are in jail – America has the highest incarceration rates – 700 of every 100,000 people are in jail Interracial marriage rate is going up – more African American men are marrying women of other races Black women are less likely to go outside their race to marry Success gap– black females are more likely to do well economically than black males The black male is less likely to graduate or be successful Study Guide Chapter 6 1. According to Robert Sternberg authentic love is comprised of what three components? In what order do they develop? a. Intimacy refers to close connected and bonded feelings in a loving relationship - includes feelings that create the experience of warmth in a loving relationship such as experiencing happiness with the loved one, sharing possessions, emotional support, and having intimate communication b. Passion refers to the drives that lead to romance, physical attraction, sexual consummation, and the like in a loving relationship c. Commitment is the decision component of love – it consists of not only deciding to love someone, but also deciding to maintain that love d. Consummate love composed of all three components is complete love – a kind of love toward which many of us strive, especially in romantic relationships e. Passion is the quickest to develop and the quickest to fade f. Intimacy develops more slowly – commitment is even slower Commitment – characterized by this willingness to work through problems and conflicts as opposed to calling it quits when problems arise 2. What is the intergenerational transmission of divorce risk? a. A divorced parental family transmits to its children a heightened risk of getting divorced 3. Children of divorce are more likely to get divorced. Why? a. This is because i. More and more serious personality problems ii. Neither been exposed to nor learned supportive communication or problem solving skills iii. Less commitment to the relationship iv. More accepting attitudes towards divorce 4. Distinguish between arranged marriages and assisted marriages. a. Arranged marriage – future spouses can be brought together in various ways b. Assisted marriage – more common today – children marry only when they themselves accept their parents choice 5. Bargaining occurs in both arranged and free-choice marriage. Who does the bargaining in each? a. Arranged – family members b. Free-choice – the individuals themselves 6. The study cited in the text that compared marital satisfaction among arranged marriages in India to those more freely chosen in the US found which to be highest in marital satisfaction? a. There is no difference in satisfaction 7. What is a cross-national marriage? a. Marriages where spouses are from different countries 8. That traditional exchange made by men and women is what? a. Women have traded their ability to bear and raise children coupled with domestic duties, sexual accessibility, and physical attractiveness for a mans protection, status, and economic support 9. As gender roles become more alike the exchange between partners may increasingly include what? a. Expressive, affective, sexual, and companionship resources for both partners 10. Assorting mating refers to what? a. Social psychological filtering process in which individuals gradually filter out those among their pool of eligible individuals they believe would not make the best spouse 11. Distinguish between homogamy and endogamy. a. Homogamy = marriage between partners of similar race, age, education, religious background, and social class b. Endogamy = marrying within ones own social group i. Endogamy is expressed by homogamy 12. Distinguish between heterogamy and exogamy. a. Heterogamy = marriage between partners who differ in race, age, education, religious backgrounds, or social class b. Exogamy = marrying a partner outside one’s own social group 13. Homogamy or the tendency of one to marry someone like him/herself is still a strong force in the United States? Why? a. People often find it easier to communicate and feel more at home with other from similar education, social class, and racial or ethnic backgrounds b. Other important factors are: i. Geographic availability ii. Social pressure 14. What explanation has been advanced to explain why individuals marry interracially? a. 1967 Loving vs. Virginia – supreme court case allowing interracial marriage b. 7-8% of population marries interracially c. For small groups of races – their pool of eligible is small d. Someone might trade his/her socially defined superior race for a lesser race 15. Robert Davis believes that black men enter interracial unions because they view white women as what? a. “The Prize” – many wealthy black men doing this 16. Distinguish between marital stability and marital happiness. a. Stability = whether or how long the union lasts b. Happiness of the partners 17. How can we explain differences in the marital stability among interracial/interethnic couples? a. Reported lower relationship quality than did those in same-ethnic unions b. They aren’t as stable c. Differences in values and interests can create a lack of mutual understanding resulting in emotional gaps and increased conflict d. Can create conflict between partners, other groups, parents, relatives, friends e. These partners are likely to be less conventional in their values and behavior, - divorce more readily than others 18. How does cohabitating affect subsequent marital quality and stability? a. Research is not quite sure – probably not good 19. The proportion of cohabiters who eventually married their partners has declined. Why? a. Cohabitating has become more socially acceptable b. Economics – poor cohabitating couples are less likely to marry 20. Why might serial cohabitation before marriage be related to lower marital stability? a. Divorce rate for serial cohabiters to be twice that for women who cohabitated only with their eventual husbands b. Experience hypothesis posits that cohabitating experiences themselves affect individuals so that once married they are more likely to divorce c. Selection hypothesis assumes that individuals who choose serial cohabitation are different from those who do not – these difference translate into higher divorce rates Study Guide Chapter 7 1. In 1960 nearly 90% of Americans between ages 35-44 were married. Today the percentage is 80-90% 2. Expectations of performance of marriage have changed. Why? a. Expectations of performance = once component of the marriage premise, according to which individuals enter marriage expecting that mutual affection and commitment will be lasting b. Marriage today is less decisively associated with raising children although marriage remains significantly related to better outcomes for children 3. Expectations of sexual exclusivity have changed. Why? a. Expectations of sexual exclusivity = the cultural ideal according to which spouses promise to have sexual relations with only each other b. Over the last century couples began to see sexual exclusivity as a mark of romantic commitment c. This has been expanded to involve not only physical sex but also emotional centrality 4. What does the phrase from “Yoke mates” to “Soul mates” mean? a. This means that societies changes to individualism and we were no longer governed by community --- we changed from communal to individualistic b. Individualism is associated with romantic love c. The institutional marriage bond – couples are ‘yoked’ together by high expectations for performance, bolstered by the strong social control of extended kin and community 5. What does it mean when we note that societies have changed from communal to individualistic? a. Diminished obedience to group authority because people increasingly saw themselves as separate individuals, rather than as intrinsic member as a group - began to expect self-fulfillment and satisfaction, personal achievement, and happiness 6. The power of kin to exercise social control over the family members has weakened in the US. Why? a. People are now associating themselves with family of orientation (family they grew up in) and family of procreation (the one formed by marrying and having children) b. As individuals and couples increasingly become more urban and more geographically mobile the power of kin the exercise social control over family members declines 7. What does “courtly” love mean? a. Popular during the twelfth century and later, courtly love is the intense longing for someone other than one’s marital partner – a passionate and sexual longing that ideally goes unfulfilled – the assumptions of courtly love influence our modern ideas about modern love 8. Define the deinstitutionalization of marriage. a. A situation in which time-honored family definitions are changing and family- related social norms are weakened so that they count for far less than in the past 9. Compare and contrast institutional marriage, compassionate marriage, and individualized marriage. a. Institutional marriage = marriage as a social institution based on dutiful adherence to the time-honored marriage premise b. Compassionate marriage = the single-earner breadwinner-homemaker marriage that flourished in the 1950s although husbands and wives in the companionate marriage usually adhered to a sharp division of labor they were usually adhered to a sharp division of labor – they were supposed to be each others companion, friend, lover i. Women’s education and work options coupled with their expectations for marital love, sowed the seeds for the demise of companionate marriage c. Individualized marriage = concept associated wit the argument that contemporary marriage in the US and other fully western societies is no longer institutionalized – four interrelated characteristics distinguish individualized marriage i. It is optional ii. Spouses roles are flexible and negotiable iii. Its expected rewards involve love, communication, and emotional intimacy iv. It exists in conjunction with a vast diversity of family forms 10. Individualized marriage and the postmodern family – is it decline or inevitable change? a. Some say it is in decline – they assert that our cultures unchecked individualism has caused widespread moral weakening and self-indulgence – they say Americans are more self-centered today and are less likely than in the past to choose marriage are more likely to divorce and less child- centered b. Some say it is inevitable social change – they point out that people who look back with nostalgia to the good old days may be imagining incorrectly the th th situation that characterized marriage throughout most of the 19 and 20 centuries – large families with many children and higher death rates for parents with young children meant that many children were not raised in 2 parents homes 11. Linda Waite argues that spouses (as compared to unmarried individuals) have advantages such as what? a. Spouses i. Greater wealth and assets ii. Earned higher wages iii. Had more frequent and better sex iv. Had overall better health v. Were less likely to engage in dangerous risk taking vi. Had lower levels of substance abuse vii. Were more likely to engage in generally healthy behaviors 12. Children in married families (as compared to those in a one-parent family) have what advantages? a. Children i. Were about half as likely to drop out of high school ii. Reported more frequent contact and better quality relationships with parents iii. Significantly less likely to live in poverty b. Its important to realize that these people that are happier, healthier, etc.… are more likely to become married 13. Distinguish between the selection hypothesis advanced to explain the benefits of marriage and the experience hypothesis. a. Selection hypothesis – posits that many of the benefits associated with marriage (high income, wealth, better health) are therefore actually due to the personal characteristics of those who choose to marry b. Experience hypothesis – holds that something about the experience of being married itself causes these benefits 14. What is jumping the broom? a. Traditional African traditional for solidifying a marriage 15. Opinion polls show that both husbands and wives are far more likely to say they are very happy than unmarried individuals. What is it about the experience of being married that creates that difference? a. Economy of scale – two can live as cheaply as one b. They can work in complementary way with their partners c. Spouses are small insurance pool against life’s uncertainties, reducing the need to protect themselves from unexpected events d. Marriage offers enhanced social support – can connect to other family or in- laws – can help with child care, transportation, and down payments, emotionally supportive 16. How can we explain the fact that spouses who first married after age 30 reported lower marital satisfaction even though they had marital stability? a. “set in their ways” older spouses find it more difficult to fashion a compatible life together – marrying later can also mean that selecting a spouse from a market in which “lots of good ones are gone” – also suggests that an individual was been searching for the perfect partner (often leads to disappointment) 17. Today we view the first months and years of marriage more as a time of role making rather than role-taking. Explain. a. Role making – refers to modifying or adjusting the expectations and obligations traditionally associated with a role - involves creating by means of communication and negotiation, identities as married people – constructs relationships and interprets events in a way that reinforce their sense of themselves as a couple i. Three main potentially problematic topics for couples in first marriages 1. Money – balancing job and family – debt – income 2. Sexual frequency 3. Agreeing on how much time to spend together – and finding that time! 18. Review covenant marriage and government initiatives to promote marriage. a. Covenant marriage – advocated by some legislators and religions – partners agree to be bound by a marriage covenant (stronger than an ordinary contract) that will not let them get divorced easily b. Government initiatives – promoting healthy marriage education, some offering money incentives for couples participation Study Guide Chapter 8 1. According to the US census bureau, single means unmarried. 2. In 1970 28% of US citizens were single. Today 44% are single. Why is there a growing proportion of singles in the US? a. Due to a growing proportion of widowed elderly 3. In the 19 and early 20 centuries, the US has more men than women. Why? a. More men than women migrated to the US b. Also because considerable number of women died in childbirth 4. How have economic factors increased the proportion of nonmarrieds? a. Expanded educational and career options for college-educated women over the past several decades have encouraged many of them to postpone marriage 5. How have technological changes increased the proportion of nonmarrieds? a. Introduction of birth control pills, improved contraception, sexual relationships outside marriage without great risk of unwanted pregnancy became possible b. Reproductive technologies such a artificial insemination 6. How have cultural changes increased the proportion of nonmarrieds? a. Emerging adulthood – young people today spend more time in higher education and exploring options regarding work, career, and family making b. Attitudes towards non-marital sex have changed 7. How does low sex ratios contribute to the increasing proportion of nonmarrieds? a. If there aren’t the same number of males to females – the likelihood to be single goes up 8. What is living alone together? a. LAT – couple engaged in a long term relationship but each partner retains a separate dwelling 9. What are boomrangers? a. Adults who have left home (living with parents) and then returned 10. In 1996 25% of Americans supported the legalization of same-sex marriage. Today it is about 50% a. Book says 57% 11. How many states now issue marriage licenses for same-sex couples? a. 14 states i. Massachusetts was first, many north eastern states ii. New Mexico – some counties yes, some no iii. Several Native American tribes recognize same-sex marriage 12. What arguments have been made to support same-sex marriage? a. In some states where they don’t allow same-sex marriage, they allow civil unions for gays b. Not allowing them to marry creates a 2 ndclass of citizens 13. What arguments have been made against same-sex marriage? a. Traditional religion does not recognize these marriages b. Some think if same-sex marriage is approved, we will open the door for polygamy 14. What government entity determines the rights, privileges, benefits and responsibilities of marriage? 15. What is the defense of marriage act? a. Was passed in 1996 under Clinton b. Allows states to not recognize same-sex marriages if that state doesn’t want to 16. The Supreme Court has struck down section 3 of DOMA. It was deemed as unconstitutional. What are the consequences of this? a. Section 3 said that federal government could not recognize same-sex marriage i. This effects: 1. Military family benefits 2. Social security 3. Hospital visit rights 4. Health care benefits 5. Inheritance rights 17. What was the baby boom? What is the gay baby boom? a. Many gays are raising children 18. What are the outcomes for children reared in a same-sex relationship? a. A lot of research shows that it doesn’t negatively effect the children 19. The British study that compared lesbian couples, single heterosexual mothers and two parent heterosexual couples found what in regard to androgyny? a. They found that the boys raised in the single mother homes and in same sex homes scored higher in androgyny than in the heterosexual homes i. They scored higher in both masculinity and in feminity ii. In the heterosexual homes – it was lower in feminity The change from traditional families to women in the workplace -Site of work changed -Spatial segregation of sexes -Enormous pressure for male to succeed MALES FEMALES -Maleness = success -Deprived of access to cash-mediated - “Good” provider market -Gave him power -Few opportunities to gain strength -Freed him from other -No productive skills roots -Economic parasite -Biggest changes occurred in the industrial revolution -Before women went to work – they had to ask husbands for money -Money = power For Test -focus on homogamy
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