Comm 111 Conflict & Communication FINAL STUDY GUIDE
Comm 111 Conflict & Communication FINAL STUDY GUIDE
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Wilmot and Hocker Chapter 8 What is the relationship between avoidance negotiation and dominance Avoidance Negotiation Domination For our purposes bargaining synonym to negotiation Negotiation covers a wide range and falls midway between avoidance and domination LE participants engage in con ict rather than avoiding parties resist using domination power over tactics parties use persuasive communication tactics in a variety of styles parties have reached an active problem solving phase in which specific proposals are traded What is being illustrated with the story of the cheap statue Clash of Cultures ie each culture designates areas that are off limits to negotiations and areas in which negotiation is acceptable9cultural differences relating to negotiating over prices illustrated here Story is about US citizen Wallace bargaining in Kathmandu rupees ends with vendor offering for 175 rupees instead of 500 What are the characteristics of competitive approaches to negotiation assumptions patterns disadvantages Competitive Negotiation also Dirtributive N egotiation 9 what most people think of when discussing negotiation assumes con ict is win lose or zero sum what you win other loses so goal is to max gain and min loss ie rewards in con ict are a Fixed pie to be distributed between parties nobody tires join problem solving Each party has a resistance point or Bargaining range beyond which one won t go 6 Armttptiom of Competitive N egotiatiom 1 The negotiating world is controlled by egocentric self interest 2 The underlying motivation is competitive antagonistic 3 Limited resources prevail 4 One can make independent choices tomorrow s decision remains unaffected materially by today s 5 The resource distribution system is distributive in nature either or 6 Goal is to win as much as you can and especially more than other side 8 Aijbeety 0fTye Covtpetitive Bmgoiver39 1 Makes high opening demands and concedes slowly 2 Tries to maximize tangible resource gains within the limits of current dispute 3 Exaggerates value of concessions offered 4 Uses threats confrontations argumentation and forceful speaking 5 Conceals information 6 Manipulates people process by distorting intentions resources goals 7 Tries to resist persuasion on issues 8 Oriented to quantitative and competitive goals rather than relational goals 5 Dimdvemtctgey of Competitive N egotiotiom 1 Strong bias toward confrontation encouraging use of coercion and emotional pressure as persuasive means hard on relationships breeding mistrust separateness frustration and anger resulting in more frequent breakdown in negotiations distorting communicating producing misinformation and misjudgment Spirals of competitiveness tends to bring impasse no progress possible 2 Works against responsiveness and openness to opponent thereby restricting access to join gains 3 Encourages brinkmanship by creating many opportunities for impasse 4 Increases difficulty in predicting responses of opponent because reliance is on manipulation and confrontation to control process 5 Contributes to an overestimation of the payoffs of competitive actions such as litigation because the focus I not on a relatively objective analysis of substantive merits Basically only builds healthy self esteem in the winners while losers suffers collaboration increases productive ideas really What are the characteristics of collaborative approaches to negotiation assumptions pattems disadvantages Collaborative Negotiation also Integratioe Negotiation or Bargaining 9assumes the parties have both 1 Diverse interests 2 Common interests and that the negotiation process can result in both parties gaining something Cyaraeterizea by 1 Mixed motives 2 Separate needs 3 Interdependent needs 9Assumes that creativity can transcend the win lose aspect of competitive negotiations polar opposites are not necessarily in con ict 6 Anntgbtiony of Coaboratioe Negotiation 1 The negotiating world is controlled by enlightened self interest 2 Common interests are valued and sought 3 Interdependence is recognized and enhances 4 Limited resources do exist but they can usually be expanded through cooperation 5 The resource distribution system is integrative join in nature 6 The goal is a mutually agreeable solution that is fair to all parties and efficient for the communities Collaborative bargaining assumes we can even in midst of con ict work from enlightened self interest collaborative bargainer interested in preserving the relationship with the other must maintaining interest in other while holding out own goals allows both to come away from the negotiation with an intact relationship willing to trust and work with each other 6 Diyadoantagey rnoytiv it a lot ofnor ana innit cornnit to ng9 fld71dd7 df39 1 Strongly biased toward cooperation creating internal pressures to compromise and accommodate that may not be in one s best interests 2 Avoids strategies that are confrontational because they carry the risk of impasse which is viewed as failure 3 Focuses on being sensitive to others perceived interests increases vulnerability to deception and manipulation by a competitive opponent and increases the possibility that the settlement may be more favorable to the other side than fairness would warrant 4 Increases the difficulty of establishing definite aspiration levels and bottom lines because of the reliance on qualitative value laden goals 5 Requires substantial skill and knowledge of the process to do well 6 Requires strong confidence in one s own assessment powers perception regarding the interests and needs of the other side and the other s payoff schedule Not easily used in every con ict because requires considerable skill of negotiators to keep it from disintegrating into a win lose approach 5 Techniques That Lead to Collaborative Outcomes 1 Expanding the Pie most con icts based on perception of scare resources so expanding the resources alters structure and encourages collaborative outcomes EX Coartizze want to go to tbe bacon cbeece and egg brea fact ctop bat aec Z617123 to go to tbe bage cbop co Coart ana aecfina a Starbackc aitb botb bacon cbeece egg cana aicbec AND bage5 2 Nonspecific Compensation process in which one of parties is paid off with a creative form of compensation can help break a competitive spiral and begin a collaborative set EX Coartizze ana aec are gbting ooer acing oar cbarea car co aec My5 neoa can babe tbe car bat tben I get to babe oar teeniy tiiy ity bity roonifor an a nigbtpartj cg ter na5 3 Tradeoffs when one offers to trade off issues that are the top priority for the other EX aec aant Coartizze to bang oat aitb berfor niore boarc Coart Z617123 aec to write ber a niore tboroagb recommendation for ber Haa interncbib U7itb tbe beta of an oatcia er Coart bangc oat aitb aec niore ana aec ijbena niore tinie on tbe recommendation 4 Cost Cutting minimizes the other s costs for going along with you EX Coartizze ic ctreccea aitb ccbool bat aec Z617123 to go to Signia Cbi co aec ojbrc to go onbfor 7 boar ana not let ber incar tbe coct of niiccing a ber aorb tinie 5 Bridging lnvents new options to meet other side s needs EX Coartizze want to rent faec beacb niancion bat it too expencioe Haoe no fear aben Coart ceec aec ic concerned aboat tbe appearance of nay 0b6 bage beacb niancion Coart ery to rent it for below abat I want bat agree add in to do 75 boar of fixit aorb eacb niontb tban c Coart Eoegone gainc What are Fisher and Ury39s 7 principles of collaborative negotiation Seven Principles of Fisher and Shapiro Now Ficber and U7 te n tbeprocecs Negotiation on nieritc or Trincibea Negotiation 1 Attend to the relationship build a good relationship working together side by side 2 Attend to all elements of communication build positive two way communication don t tell others what to do 3 Focus on interests not positions disclose your actual concerns and interests not bottom line positions Positions come from interests when people discuss actual interests in transparent way they re more likely to be able to come to a mutual agreement Firm exibility you remain rm about your goals but exible regarding how to accomplish them goals always firm in mind 4 Generate many options use brainstorming and creativity to avoid win losezero sum game which all options including genuine interests of other 5 Find legitimate criteria discern whether the outcome is fair reasonable and respects interests of each party 6 Analyze the Best Alternative to a Negotiation Agreement BATNA consider your walk away alternative and theirsrecognize any agreement must be better for everyone involved than walking away 7 Work with fair and realistic commitments what you and other party are asking ls reasonable face saving practical will enhance working relationship What is the language of collaboration If one doesn t believe that energetic cooperation will provide better solutions than competitive techniques language of collaboration that could be memorized will not ultimately produce collaboration however sometimes you may get stuck looking for the right phrase to help a negotiation move toward collaboration Pyraye Exampex This is a problem you and I haven t had to face before I m sure we can work it out What is it that you are most hoping for Let s get an example of market value for an objective source I know this is difficult but we can work it out I can understand why I certainly appreciate your stance I don t see any con ict in both of us getting more of what we want but we have been acting as if what we each get the other loses I really do what a fair and durable settlement for both of us I will discuss with you as long as What is being illustrated with the story of the rainbow development water problem Development Water Con ict Summagg home owners face ongoing problem with water well which keeps testing as polluted so residents have to boil or buy their water officials of volunteer board authorized a road to be built so well could be dug out and rebuilt but road built through wetlands raising federal legal problems road through commonly owned property skirting edge of privately owned lots9full scale con ict erupted with monetary and emotional investment from these 3 groups 1 Water First Group9 engineers scientists builders practical people sick of polluted water concerned with content goals and face saving arguing that content goals most important amp they did what they had to face saving 2 Road Has To Go Group9older home owners amp their adult children environmental concerns are primary don t want compromise concerned about appropriate process and has strongly held content goals 3 We Simply Have to Live With It Group9 sees itself as the middle group between two extremes don t like the con ict amp alienation concerned with relationships and face saving for the board they keep their private opinions to themselves and look to the future Illustrating Can see competitive collaborative and transformative defined below approaches of negotiations all defining problem needs communicative moves from each of all 3 groups to enhance not destroy the ongoing relationships Negotiations are complex Successful negotiations eventually move toward collaborative or integrative processes Underlying Arrimzptiom39 of hot Competitive and Collaborative at play here 1 Self interest 2 Competitiveness 3 Rationality 4 An individualistic focus 5 The exchange model Transformation lggroaeb also at play creates something new from what existed before ie new ways to cooperate emerge new feelings arise and new solutions become possible rests on a Community concerns b Cooperativeness c Subjectivity Difficult Conversations How do the authors de ne quotdifficult conversationsquot Anything you find hard to talk about Ex sexuality race gender politics etc You are dreading telling your client that the project is taking longer than you thought it would What are the main dilemmas in having a difficult conversation Avoid or Confront maybe I ll get used to it but then happens again and you dread the convo Delivering the message is like a hand grenade and will do damage no matter what tact you use What are the three conversations that make up every difficult conversation The What Happened Convo who said what who s to blame The Feelings Conversation are my feelings valid should I acknowledge am I hurting their feelings The Identity Conversation are we incompetent a bad person What are the truth assumption the intention invention and the blame frame Truth assumption assumption I am right you are wrong Difficult convos rarely about right and wrong they re about con icting perceptions interpretations amp values not about what is true about what is important Intention Invention Did you do that to hurt my feelings We assume we know the intentions of others when we don t often decide that they re bad disentangle impact from intent Blame Frame we blame the other person amp waste time finding blame but often the result is something both people did we must understand the contribution system instead What are the three major reasons that people tend to see the world differently 1 We have different information a we notice different things what has to do with who we are and what we like amp we choose different information if not subconsciously b we each know ourselves better than anyone else can we each have access to different information we don t know their constraints 2 We have different interpretations a We are in uenced by past experiences often people do things because of their past woman complaining about expensive dinner b c hard time growing up in poverty amp b we apply different implicit rules past experiences turn into rules by which we rule our lives how the world works how people should act or how things are supposed to be you should spend money on school but not clothes 3 Our conclusions re ect self interest we look for information to support our view rightness of our own story What is the quotAnd Stancequot Embrace both stories work to understand other person s story show that each story matters b c you may have diff info or diff interpretations both stories can make sense at same time they can be doing their best and you can be thinking it s not good enough What are the quottwo key mistakesquot made when assessing individuals intentions 1 Our Assumptions about intentions are often wrong a We assume intentions from impact on us we feel hurt thus they mean to hurt us i we assume the worst attribute intentions Re we treat ourselves more charitably z are there never bad intentions Yes there are but very rare b Getting intentions wrong are costly i assume bad intentions mean bad character when we think we have someone figured out we attribute all their actions thru that lens accusing them of bad intentions creates defensiveness how come you wanted to hurt me they will attack back and get defensive and both of you will think you re the victim and both will defend themselves attributions can become self fulf1lling 2 Good intentions don t sanitize bad impact a we don t hear what they are really trying to say if focus only on clarifying intentions miss signi cant pieces of what other person trying to say miss the emotions behind the why were you trying to hurt me question so busy defending ourselves we ignore the message useful to clarify but maybe not at the beginning of the convo b we ignore complexity of human motivations never just good or bad probably mixed c we aggravate hostility especially between groups desire to sanitize impact common in issues of difference race gender etc whether or not the intention was to exclude ppl felt excluded What does it mean to map the contribution system Focusing on blame inhibits ability to learn what s really causing the problem and to do anything meaningful to correct it BLAME is about JUDGING and CONTRIBUTION is about UNDERSTANDING Contribution 1 what did we each do to get ourselves here 2 how can we change it and move forward focusing on blame inhibits understanding b c ppl defensive and less honest amp willing to apologize Contribution is easier to raise whereas blame is harder b c you have to be 100 o sure you re right before addressing it amp contribution encourages learning and change 3 misconceptions about contributions 1 I should focus only on my contribution 2 Putting aside blame means putting aside my feelings 3 Exploring contribution means blaming the victim 4 Hard to Spot Contributions 1 Avoiding until now 2 Being unapproachable 3 Intersections difference between two people in background preferences communication style or assumptions about relationships 4 Problematic Role Assumptions Figure out what both people are doing and how the affect each other and perpetuate the cycle MAP What are they contributing observations explicit clarify what you d have them do differently What am I contributing take responsibility for your contribution early Who else is involved What are quotrole reversalquot and quotthe observer39s insightquot TWO TOOLS for spotting contribution 1 Role reversal what would they say I m contribution Pretend other person 2 Observer s insight be a disinterested observer how would you say they re contributing Even ask a friend to do this for you What are unproductive strategies for coping with feelings Framing feelings out of the problem unexpressed feelings can leak into convo color your affect unexpressed feeling can create so much tension that you disengage amp can also burst into the conversation when you hide your feelings they can explode after being pent up unexpressed feelings make it difficult to listen feeling unheard and keep thinking about our feelings unexpressed feelings take a toll on self esteem and relationships What are productive strategies for coping with feelings 1 Sort out what your feelings are Finding your feelings Explore your emotional footprint from your past which feelings are easy to express which aren t to whom do you express Accept feelings that are normal and natural don t feel shame Recognize that good people can have bad feelings accept the rage and the funeral etc b c it will color your communication Learn that your feelings are as important as theirs you don t want to rock the boat so don t address it teaches others to ignore your feelings as well by not raising the issue the resentment you feel will grow and slowly erode your relationship Find the bundle of feelings behind the simple labels We are blinded by complexity of our feelings searching for a job pride shame love etc Don t let hidden feelings block other emotions she can t tell him she loves him b c has all this buried anger against him Find the feelings lurking under attributions judgments and accusations Lift the lid on attributions and judgments express feelings of I feel hurt not you are insensitive we translate feelings into judgments attributions characterizations amp problem solving Use the urge to blame as a clue to find important feelings we feel unsatisfied b c we can t blamel but it s really b c of unexpressed feelings 2 Negotiate with your feelings The route to changing your feelings is to alter what you re THINKING o 1 examine our own story what is ours missing what is the other persons 0 2 explore our assumptions about other person s intentions how does our view of their intentions affect how we feel What are our own intentions O 3 consider contribution system can we see our own contribution And others without blaming 3 Share your actual feelings not attributions or judgments about the other person Don t Vent Describe Feelings Carefully 1 frame feelings back into the problem don t have to be rational need to express them get them out 2 express the full spectrum of your feelings complete w all emotions I feel angry at you for bugging me but also appreciate how much you care complete picture other person understands what s motivating him 2 don t evaluate just share 0 Share pure feelings express your feelings without judging attributing or blaming 39 Don t say you are undependable say I feel frustrated when you didn t send the letter out 0 Save problem solving for later amp don t monopolize both sides can have strong feelings at the same time 39 Both parties strong and perhaps con icting feelings on the table 0 An easy reminder say I feel Acknowledging feelings is important before trying to find a solution show how important these feelings are and that you are understanding them Sometimes feelings are all that matter and the problem is over but other times not What are the three core identities 1 Am I competent wanting a raise but realizing don t deserve it 2 Am I a good person can t dump her b c she s crying and making me sad 3 Am I worthy of love telling brother he treats wife badly and after that could hardly breath What is the All or Nothing Syndrome Biggest factor contributing to vulnerable identity is all ornothing thinking I m competent or incompetent good or evil etc leaves us unstable sensitive to feedback we deny or take it way to heart Denial bigger the gap between what we hope is true and what we fear is true means easier to lose balance Exaggeration we let their feedback define who we are if we don t help her this once we re selfish A Ground your identity 1 Become aware of your identity issues know why you do things and what you re afraid of if you change 2 complexify your identity you can t ALWAYS and NEVER do anything in between complications B 3 things to accept about yourself 1 you will make mistakes 2 your intentions are complex 3 you have contributed to the problem C Regaining your balance during the conversation 1 Letting go of trying to control their reaction can come across as you shouldn t be feeling bad about this when in reality you meant it will all be alright have to address the emotion need the AND stance 2 Preparing for their response 3 Imagining the future to gain perspective 4 If you lose your balance take a break Xhat three kinds of difficult conversations don39t make sense 1 Is the real con ict inside you a If the problem is inside you may not be productive to talk to other person about it 2 Is there a better way to address the issue than talking about it a Not always a convo needed can make a change in the relationship or seek change elsewhere like writing to the toll booth people 3 Do you have purposes that make sense a Remember you can t change other people engage in convo where mutual learning is the goal less likely feel attacked and defensive and more likely listen b Don t focus on short term relief at long term cost don t just tell her off you ll regret it c Don t hit and run don t make comments on the y late again eh Makes them defensive and not helpful Three purposes that work if you raise it 1 Learning their story 2 Expressing your views and feelings hope other understands but can t guarantee 3 Problem solving together What does it mean to quotbegin from the third storyquot Starting convo off in right direction begin from the third story and offer an invitation to explore the issues jointly Begin from the third story think like a mediator objective third party story explain the gap w o a judgement or right or wrong take your own opinions our of the story first and then explain emotions and try to understand their perspective Extend an invitation after we both agree on the problem let s work together to find a solution share your purpose to understand their view express yours and work thru going forward to have them accept your offer put them in the role of partner advisor or challenge where they can be hero be persistent Map third story their story your story What to talk about Explore where each story comes from share impact on you take responsibility for your contribution describe feelings reflect on the identity issues What does it mean to quotlisten from the inside outquot Often when someone s not listening to you it s because you aren t listening to them The stance of curiosity How to Listen from the Inside Out shift from I understand to Help me understand ask questions paraphrase listen to the emotions Forget words focus on authenticity Become aware of commentator in your head amp tum it up address your own thoughts amp manage them negotiate your way to curiosity into learning mode or maybe have to express internal voice before trying to listen to other person 0 Negotiate your way to curiosity you think you re right but not baby turtle 0 Don t Listen Talk if internal voice is too overwhelming may need to tell them how you re feeling you want to listen but can t or need to take a break Three Skills Inquiry Paraphrasing and Acknowledgment Inquiry to learn don t make statements disguised as questions don t use questions to cross examine ask open ended questions ask for more concrete information you don t seem dedicated to long term stay in the company why Ask questions about the three conversations make it safe for them not to answer Paraphrase for clarity Check your understanding so they can say no that s wrong show that you ve heard if they feel heard they will listen to you Acknowledge their feelings answer invisible questions acknowledge before problem solving acknowledging is not agreeing Empathy is a journey Why do the authors assert that quotorators need not applyquot when it comes to difficult conversations It is not about how well you speak it s self knowledge and belief that what you have to say matters You re entitled You deserve to speak we are all equal beware self sabotage setting yourself up to fail so you don t have to address the situation if you don t express yourself you re not really there and can t build relationships entitled to express yourself Speak the heart of the matter Start w what matters most say what you mean don t make them guess don t make your story simplistic use the me me and Telling your story with clarity three guidelines 1 don t present your conclusions as the truth 2 share where your conclusions came from 3 don t exaggerate with always and never give them room to change What is reframing Reframing means taking the essence of what the other person says and translating it into concepts that are more helpful concepts of the 3 conversations framework I m right 9 I want to understand your perspective and also share mine You hurt me on purpose 9 I can see you re angry not my intention tell me more how you feel Use you me and we can both exchange perspectives Reframing and listening into direction you want to go What are the five main items on the difficult conversations checklist 1 Prepare by walking through the three conversations a See chart take notes on multiple stories impact intent contribution for what happened then feelings then identity issues 2 Check your purposes and decide whether to raise it 3 Start from the third story a Describe problem as difference between stories share purposes invite them to be a partner in situation 4 Explore their story and yours a Listen to understand their perspective share your own viewpoint reframe 5 Problem Solving a Invent options and look into standards and keep communication open for future Online Readings What was the central dispute in the Dariano case aka Dariano v Morgan Hill Z014 Between Morgan Hill Unified School District and individuals alleging violations of their 1 and 14th amendment rights after the school wouldn t let them wear American ag shirts in a public high school on Cinco de Mayo but school didn t embargo all ag related clothing it distinguished between tap out shirts vs full edged American ag shirts can they make that a reasonable distinction for punishment Plaintiffs are 3 students Dianna Darianomother of one plaintiff A First Amendment Claim need of school administrators to maintain a safe educational environment Tinker v Des Moines standard governs student speech which is not obscene and doesn t bear the imprimatur of the school 9warnings were made in context of ongoing racial tension and violence within school after a near violent altercation had erupted during the prior Cinco de Mayo over display of an American ag 9Court finds they did not violate the 1 Amendment by asking the Plaintiffs to turn their shirts inside out to avoid physical harm B Violation of the Tinker standard found that school officials conduct satisfied the Tinker standarddidn t violate Conclusions Events prior to the school officials intervention don t constitute a sufficient basis to forecast a substantial disruption with school activities Legitimized unlike Tinker Judgment entered in favor of defendant against plaintiffs Darianos and all other parents of American ag shirt students Legitimized unlike Tinker school wins What was the central dispute in Tinker v Des Moines 1969 December 1965 3 public school students in Des Moines Iowa decide to wear black armbands to school during Vietnam War to protest the Government s policy in Vietnam9 all suspended from school until they would come back without their armbands didn t come back until planned period for wearing armbands expired Tinkers filed court case Protest of war policy Under doctrine of in loco parentis historically schools legal authority over students was as broad as that of parents Tinker started change in giving kids rights Voting age was 21 but when changed to 18 realized we must value what they say more if they can vote right after high school helped enact change in granting minors greater rights Students may express their opinions even on controversial subjects if they do so without materially and substantially interfering with the requirements of appropriate discipline in the operation of the school and Without colliding with their rights of others Conclusions Not sufficient evidence here so not legitimized school loses Held that the First Amendment applied to public schools and administrators would have to demonstrate constitutionality valid reasons for any specific regulation of speech in classroom before Tinker schools could do whatever they wanted to United States Supreme Court defined the constitutional rights of students in US public schools Tinker test still used by courts today to determine whether a school s disciplinary actions violate students First Amendment rights What was the central dispute in the Nuxoli case aka Nuxoll v Indian Prairie Z008 Zamecnik Nuxoll2 Nequa Valley High School Students prohibited from wearing shirts that displayed the slogan BE Happy Not Gay crossed out as a way to not make it derogatory 9The student alleged his constitutional rights were violated by a school rule that barred students form making derogatory comments referring to race ethnicity religion gender sexual orientation or disability 9Student claims he under 1 amendment he was entitled to make negative comments about those members if he didn t use ghting Words 9School argued shirt would cause a substantial disruption offering evidence of harassment against Zamecnik Conclusion Court disagreed amp found evidence to fall in legal doctrine of the heckler s veto whereby harassment to Zamecnik not grounds for banning the student s speech but cause a substantial disruption in the school before disciplined School loses Lectures What is meant when we say difficult conversations are a double con ict Inner before the conversation knots in stomach tension may be prepping you but may be dysfunctional inhibitions External during actual conversation If we feel we aren t good at difficult convos inner will be exacerbated and will mess us up externally What are some strategies for coping when your identity is challenged Accept that 1 you will make mistakes 2 you are complex 3 you have contributed to the problem Let go of trying to control the other person s reaction Prepare for the other person s response What do you do in a successful learning conversation Try to understand what has happened from the other person s point of view Instead of thinking of a rebuttal listen amp understand Explain your point of view Share and understand feelings Work together to manage the problem in the future What is the Fundamental Attribution Error Attribution theory the way people explain the causes of behavior Error we most likely attribute behavior to internal causes rather than extemal causes Actor observer difference we make the error more when describing other people than ourselves Reasons 1 figure ground perception actor focuses outward observer looks at inward 2 information bias actors have more info about themselves 3 Self serving attributions maintain self esteem and just world for negative events What are the downsides of unexpressed feelings Leak into the conversation most people can tell when someone is hiding distorting emotions if clogged emotional pipes will leak out unexpressed feelings may create so much tension that you disengage or explode Emma and Kathy can t handle promotion Make it difficult to listen people have hard time listening b c don t know how to express themselves well you need to be open and honestly curious and willing to keep the spotlight on them we can listen better after we unload our own strong feelings Takes a toll on your self esteem and relationships you re wondering why you didn t stick up for yourself you don t give your friends a chance to learn and change in response to your feelings and you are keeping an important part of yourself out of your relationships Pillow Method method for understanding an issue from several perspective by looking at problem solving having 4 sides and a middle like a pillow 5 different perspectives What are the six 1 basic emotions Happiness anger interest disgust surprise sadness fear shame guilt How do emotions and facial expressions compare across cultures Across species Same emotions found across cultures people react to stimuli in the same way wormsyum Similarity of emotions in primates as well What is LeDoux s Model High road Low road best model Some emotions arise re exively from specific brain activity areas whereas others rely on cognitive interpretation and memory Stimulus 9 cognitive interpretation 9 fear AT THE SAME TIME THAT Stimulus 9 bodily arousal 9 fear at the same time High road emotional stimulus through sensory thalamus through sensory cortex to the amygdala and then an emotional response Low road emotional stimulus through sensory thalamus straight to amygdala and then emotional response LeDoux Theory s mulus Emotion Even I Cogmtnve Fear Tiger interpretation Bodily arousal 39 Physiological changes eg Pounding heart What does it mean to quotStake Out the Bargaining Zonequot You see where Party A s aspiration range overlaps with party B s aspiration range to find a settlement range 9Refers to Competitive Negotiation in which each party has his her resistance point or bargaining range beyond which he she won t go past so the bargaining zone is the range between each party s resistance point settlement range that meets in the middle of what each aspires at opposite ends of spectrum What are the three types of con ict that may arise in a negotiation 1 Task con icts con icts over content and goals of the work 2 Relationship con ict con ict based on interpersonal relationships 3 Process con ict con ict over how work gets done What is distributive negotiation What is integrative negotiation Distributive competitive zero sum win lose not worried about future relationships asks for more than he needs so can bargain down manipulates against openness you and your sister both want to use dad s car limited resources Integrative collaborative assumes that parties have diverse and common interests and both parties can gain something negotiating controlled by self interest so address interdependence 9 expanding the pie nonspecific compensation tradeoffs cost cutting bridging seeks resources amp options 0 What is the quotfeelings bindquot Not knowing how to get your feelings into the conversation in a healthy meaningful satisfying way Guidelines 1 Sort out just what your feelings are 2 Negotiate with feelings 3 Share your actual feelings not attributions or judgments about other person 0 What is acknowledgement and why is it important Acknowledgment means letting the other person know that what they have said made an impression on you and that you re working to understand them 9Acknowledging feelings is important to show that you understand the other person s feelings and your own unacknowledged feelings will have an effect on communication 9Each side must have their feelings acknowledged before you can start to solve problems before moving onto problem solving you have the responsibility to ensure that they appreciate the importance of this topic to you amp truly understand your feelings What does FEEL stand for and why is the concept useful F Focus on your feelings Acknowledge them E Express to yourself determine source E Express constructively to others manage L Let them go What is the two part test for what constitutes quotspeechquot Under 1 Amendment 1 Intent to convey a message 2 People who you re trying to convey will likely understand What is the Fighting Words Doctrine Fighitng words are those which by their very utterance in ict injury or tend to incite an immediate breach of the peace What is the definition of harassment Harassment encompasses speech that is so severe pervasive and objectively offensive and that so undermines and detracts from the victims educational experience that the victim students are effectively denied equal access to an institution s resources and opportunities Davis v Monroe County Board of Education 1999 What was the central dispute in the case of US v Dillard 2013 Dispute Abortion case Defendant Angel Dillard wrote a letter to Dr Mila Means during her to drop her plans to provide abortion services in Kansas writing that Means should check under her car everyday because maybe today is the day someone places an explosive under it we don t want you killing our children in our community we ll stand against you every day abort your plan right away it s not too late to change your mind so not ALL threatening Debate Is this a threat le does it communicate a serious intent to place someone in fear of bodily harm and place recipient in fear of life or limb or is it just an act of persuasion a little over If true threat not protected by 1 amendment Conclusion Dr Means agrees in court didn t write letter to say she d personally place a bomb under the car In General Must Look At Reaction of recipient whether threat communicated directly to victim whether maker of threat made similar statements to victim in past whether victim has reason to believe that maker of the threat had a propensity to engage in violence What was the central dispute in the case of Planned Parenthood v ACLA American Coalition of Life Activists 1955 Dispute Pattern of WANTED style poster listing names and addresses of abortion providers reward for death of 30000000 babies 9 2nd poster targeted specific abortionist Dr Robert Crist with name address photo Conclusions Planned Parenthood successfully sued ACLA but ACLA appealed the verdict on First Amendment grounds because not directly threatening harm to plaintiffs What was the central dispute in the case of McCullen v Coakley Z014 Debate Eleanor McCullen stood outside Boston Parenthood Clinic for last 13 years every Tuesday and Wednesday and asked women to Just talk a minute before you rush in You rush in so quickly then you come out in tears J Massachusetts made it crime for speakers to enter or remain on a public way or sidewal 97 anti abortion petitioners directed at Massachusetts abortion clinic buffer law said must have a 35 foot buffer zone around entrances exists and driveways of abortion clinics claiming the Massachusetts law violates their 1 and 14th Amendments 9Attorney law ensures a women s right to safe access to health care facilities while preserving 1 Amendment rights What is a public forum and what special rules apply there Public forms are those places that time out of mind have been held open to the public for expressive use government owned property open to public expression and assembly Special rules Government may impose reasonable restrictions on the time place or manner of speech provided that these are justified without reference to the content of the regulated speech are narrowly tailored to serve a significant government interest and leave open ample alternative channels for communication EX Amplified sound only allowed in Bruin Plaza between 1150 and 1pm not during 10th or finals week What are the three elements needed to make a claim for intentional in iction of emotional distress Intentional In iction of Emotional Distress 1 Recklessly or intentionally 2 Engaged in extreme and outrageous conduct that 3 Caused the plaintiff to suffer severe emotional distress What are the four elements of active listening skills that were discussed in class 1 Observe non verbal behavior 2 Focus don t do anything else while listening 3 Acknowledge acknowledge message even if you don t agree with it 4 Respect let the speaker finish communicate respect What are some useful strategies for dealing with workplace con ict 1 Active listening skills 2 Use Soft Start Up and agree with something 3 Clearly set limits of boundaries if necessary 4 Use I rather than you 5 Disengage to cool off time out 6 Appeal to mutual self interest 7 Attack problem not the person 8 Accept your contribution How was pornography defined in lecture Material intended to create sexual arousal containing sexually explicit images on Internet in magazines etc no pejorative meaning suggested does not include so called erotic romance novels such as Fifty Shades of Grey must less concern politically socially and research perspective of effect of those kind of portrayals How do genders differ in their use of pornography Females have now become more likely to use pornography other than so called erotic romance novels but men still take the cake Males use largely greater than females across board with types of pomography9 as types become more extreme less normative while both then have much less usage you see even larger differences males using it even greater than females in the weird types 964 of men vs 14 o of women watched porn during last week 1830 year olds 981 minutes for men vs 21 minutes for women pornography consumption in minutes week 1830 year olds Overall Indications 1 Large gender differences in consumption pattems 2 Males often use pornography most for masturbation 3 For females most often watched out of curiosity or for fun more so Sampling rather than regular use What are the primary reasons for consuming pornography IN DESCENDING ORDER most common to least Masturbation for fun curiosity sexual knowledge to have sex because partner wanted females pick curiosity sampling ones more males pick masturbation more Does pornography have a positive or a negative effect on those who consume it Systematic Research Gives Evidence for Both A Research Showing Negative Effects experiment showing pornography is one of the factors that leads to male violence against women 39 Measures Used Pornography Consumption Questionnaire PCQ Danish Personality Item Pool Questionnaire ASV composite score summing z scores of 2 Burt scales about attitudes supporting violence against women 39 Results discussed below B Research Showing Self Perceived Positive Effects of Pomography o Poyz ve 3N cz J ofcomzt7 Dz z3907z39 7830 ear 0dy 39 Q On a scale from 17 please indicate to what extent you believe your consumption of pornography has POSITIVELY in uenced you sex life attitudes toward sex attitudes toward opposite gender sexual knowledge life in general overall positive effect 39 Q On a scale from 17 please indicate to what extent you believe your consumption of pornography has NEGATIVELY in uenced you same categories Higher results for positive in uence What is the HCM Hierarchical Con uence Model of Sexual Aggression General theoretical framework guiding the porn violence study as well as much of the previous research in that specific area 9Central to the HCM is the contention that s the con uence or interaction of risk factors that s most relevant to prediction of sexually aggressive attitudes and behaviors l4ANY FACTORS alcohol analogy many factors go into cardiovascular disease 9HCM contends that for a small sub group of users who already score high on other known risk factors pornography consumption made add fuel to the fire and increase the risk of sexually aggressive attitudes and behaviors What did the Malamuth study suggest about the relationship between pornography and violence For a small but important group of males low agreeableness exposure to pornography can increase attitudes supportive of violence against women primarily through affective engagement in the form of sexual arousal this is particularly compelling since we used a representative sample from Denmark the country with a relatively high level tolerance for pomography and a relatively high level of equality between males and females It depends on the person age personality risk profile the type violent porn vs non violent amounts Consumed moderate vs substantial how Good and Bad are defined ie premarital sex etc DEPENDS ON MULTIPLE FACTORS 9lnitial effect of pomography primes sexual arousal but negative effect more on high risk individuals with sexually aggressive tendencies including attitudes supporting violence against women Impz39cczZ z390m f0r Underylandmg Pomogrcgbgv Ef2cz 539 Documented effects on aggression appear largely due to a critical minority of individuals Suggests process involving activation priming of what s already brought by person to situation and reinforcement Strengthening of existing tendencies in ways that may create tipping point effects INTERACTION EFFECT of personality agreeableness variable and exposure is what s important For males low agreeablenessinitially aggressive personality and those are the numbers that go up with exposure For females no effect for any agreeableness level
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