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Exam 3 Study Guide

by: Rachael McDonald

Exam 3 Study Guide HD FS 129

Rachael McDonald
Penn State
GPA 3.0
Human Development and Family Studies
Molly Countermine

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Study guide for third exam, has all notes from class and includes information that is cumulative.
Human Development and Family Studies
Molly Countermine
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This 32 page Bundle was uploaded by Rachael McDonald on Saturday March 28, 2015. The Bundle belongs to HD FS 129 at Pennsylvania State University taught by Molly Countermine in Fall. Since its upload, it has received 767 views. For similar materials see Human Development and Family Studies in Physiology at Pennsylvania State University.


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Date Created: 03/28/15
Exam 3 info HDFS 3315 0 Gender Development 0 O 0 What is the difference between sex and gender Sexl what you are born as Sex Biological dimension of being male or female Genderl what you decide to be Gender Sociocultural dimension of being male or female Some are born with both male and female genitalia Gender identity l one s sense of being male or female or neither or both Transgender proper pronoun is they Not tied in to female or male sexual preferences Sex gender sexuality Gender Role a set of expectations that prescribe how females and males should think act and feel Binary What we expect from someone is according to their identity Gender socialization begins prenatally quotHe kicks a lot he s gonna be a soccer player Hormones can tell about boy or girl Outside the world 0 Nursery colors 0 Baby shower gender implemented Patterns colors toys Is this all because we are comfortable and are afraid of progressiveness Gender identity is typically in place by age 3 0 Before this at age two they don t diversify a difference between the genders 0 I m a boy or I m a girl forever 0 Girls will want to wear pink friy dresses 0 Boys want to wear sporty stuff 0 They will not do anything of the other gender 0 Gender lntensi cation Hypothesis Adolescence is a particularly important time in gender socialization Adolescence begins the questioning tom boy ish etc Psychological and behavioral differences between males and females become more pronounced in the transition from childhood to adolescence Pressure to behave as boys and girls increases in adolescence Tomboy girls weirder as gets older 0 Now it is all sexually oriented Why lntensi ed socialization pressures to conform to cultural expectations of what it means to be male or female NOT biologypubertyhormones 0 Not raging hormones or built in 0 Ex high school for prof Good athlete But basketball team perceived as lesbians Once sexuality came into the picture she would not cross the line She didn t like other s perceptions Girls become more selfconscious from 6th8th grade physical attractiveness o More sexuality issues Girls become more adept and interested in forming intimate friendships 0 Boys also start to recognize feelings aren t important or necessary only girls and homosexuals have them Can t be perceived as GAY Both girls and boys begin to describe themselves in more feminine gentle affectionate and masculine ways tough aggressive 0 Only way girls can be tough are in sports 0 Girls get more leeway to be androgynous but still have to be sexy while they are being tough Achievement becomes more gender stereotyped 0 Boys Interest in mathscience combative sports video games 0 Girls Interest in more social sciences less physical contact sports Adolescents tend to embrace gender stereotypes more than children 0 Parental in uences o Fathers are more active in genderrole development I Fathers hold daughters for longer when upset Fathers tell sons to buck up when upset Stillface exp 0 Mom doesn t show emotion towards child 0 Boys get really upset cannot deal with it 0 Girls don t understand but do not get upset 0 Parents encourage quotmalequot and female chores provide genderappropriate toys Boys do roles like take out trash do yard work 0 Once a week chores Girls clean bathrooms do dishes vacuum laundry 0 Daily 0 Girls do more housework 0 Cleaning commercials always women cleaning Even in families trying to balance there will be a difference Toys 0 Birth12 months androgynous o Stacking rings blocks mobiles colorful o 12months on 0 Girl toys pink purplie aquamarine 0 Boy toys red black etc LEGOs 0 Girls have more feminine legos than boys icecream shoppetshophouse boutique etc 0 Boys have starwars etc 0 At some point messages become so overpowering it just clicks at some point quotThis is what I am supposed to likequot I Fathers more than mothers uppity when boys like girl toys 0 Ball example in target SchoolTeacherln uences Boys take lead leader More likely to raise hand in class etc Girls take lead bossy When are boys ever bossy We would call it leadership and assertive Description of business person Male go getter Female bitch Pressure to achieve in school is greater for boys than girls Boys are generally given more negative attention in school Girls test higher in every academic subject yet score lower on SAT exam than boys Girls learning problems are not identi ed as often as boys Teachers are looking for it in boys Many more females diagnosed with learning disability in college than earlier 0 Peer In uences 000 O 2 boys one yellow ball and the other pink whatever Male passerby made a face that she got young son a pink ball Lucy likes pink even though the boy picked green for her Thinks pink was for girls Leo wants pink glove for teeball Ask students students said don t get him pink Luckily just a hand me down pink glove was necessary 0 Children who play in gender appropriate activities are rewarded by peers otherwise criticized 0 Children demonstrate clear preferences for being with and liking same sex kids Leo wearing girl socks to school 0 Leo liked them but he got quotodd looksquot at school 0 Teacher weirded out and peers Rewards and Punishment 0 Children are punished for gender inappropriate behavior and are rewarded for gender appropriate behavior 0 Learn from Observation and imitation 0 Children learn gender roles through observation and imitations of parents siblings peers teachers etc Teachers are female when young Siblings 0 Same gender siblings l tend to be the most gender stereotypical Sisters or brothers I Girls most girly Boys most manly 0 Only child l gender stereotypical but not as bad 0 Different gender siblings play together do different things have different toys I Have to trade off activities 0 Tea party and then football fair 0 Media 0 Misrepresentation The most common way people give up power is by thinking they don t have any Media is overpowering 0 TV magazines online social media 0 Girls power weapon for being sexual 0 Boys can treat girls that way Diversity of platform images impacting kids 247 0 Girls most important how they look 0 O 0 Even over achieving and intellectual all about body not brain So derogatory to most powerful women in the world so everyone can hate on girls Industry of media for men not women women are outnumbered Women used for advertising instead of information Climate for widespread violence against women 0 Boys that s what is important about girls 0 Most of media is ran by men 0 Being a man means being powerful and better than women I Learned behavior I Women make up 51 of population but only 16 in major powerful positions 0 Internationally there are a lot more women in office and in government factors I You can t be what you can t see 0 To see women leadership is huge for women 0 quotA league of their ownquot I How few opportunities women get to see in power I Women help women and want women to succeed I Women creating new leadership ideals and shapes I All depends on who is piloting the plane 0 The mask you live in I Boys screamed at to be manly I Don t let women run life I Grow balls I Don t be a pussy 3 most destructive words BE A MAN I Boys have to prove their masculinity all the time I Good times guys close I Bad times on own I Boys don t get help I Mask how to act in public I Can t show what they actually feel I Culture that doesn t have values I Every one will go crazy I Boys more likely to become aggressive I Less than 50 of men with mental illness will not search for help I Homicidal violence or Suicidal violence l shame if not a real man 0 Respect Violence I ManUp I The Whittington Family Riley s Story 0 Baby girl 0 Ryland 0 Planned accordingly 0 She was healthy beautiful happy 0 1st birthday Ryland deaf Heartbroken Taught how to speak Toughest challenge 0 Ryland quot m a boyquot Tomboy Some told us it was just a phase The trouble was phases end this was getting stronger Drawing as boy Ryland decided her gender was a boy quotWhen the family dies she will be boyquot Parents listened Researched Came to same conclusion Ryland is transgender Female anatomy l but brain identi es as boy 41 of transgenders attempt suicide because they weren t socially accepted 0 Finally let him grow into himself Gender identity was just him 0 Still healthy handsome and extremely happy 0 Beautiful family 0 Rights are won by those who make their voices heard OOOOO Ill 0 3515 Parenting Style Chart on Angel Authoritarian comply because they are afraid of their parents These are the rules because I said so Uninvolved Neglectful the basic needs to be provided for a child Authoritative these are the rules and this is why I m there for you I will listen to you Permissivelndulgentl do whatever you want Know who we are and share that because it s not real until we do that paraphrase from Erikson on identity Identity 0 A persistent sameness within one s self and a sharing of one s essential character with others 0 Who am i o What is different about me o What do I want to do with my life 0 What kind of people do I like 0 What kind of person am I o What do I need to be happy 0 What kind of romantic partner do I want to be Do I want to have 0 What are my values 0 What kid of work do I want to do Ident yissues Vocational issues 0 Political Ideology Spiritual Ideology 0 Self in relation to others 0 Sexual Identity 0 Ethnic Identity Interests 0 Body Image The Process of Identity Formation Involves Crisis 0 A period of role experimentation and active exploration of possibilities or alternatives 0 Commitment 0 Making a choice among alternatives Identity Statuses Identity Achievement commitment made and crises expedenced o The individual has resolved hisher identity crisis and made commitments to particular goals beliefs and values Moratorium No commitment made and is experiencing crises o The individual is actively raising questions and seeking answers Enduring commitments have not been made Foreclosure Commitment made and no crises experienced o The individual seems to know who shehe is but has latched onto an identity prematurely without exploration Diffuse No commitment made and no crises experienced o The person has not et thought about or resolved identity issues and has failed to chart directions in life Most adolescents move from foreclosure or diffusion to either achieved or moratorium between midteens and midtwenties One can be in a different identity status for various identity domains Achievement and Moratorium Statuses Higher self esteem Feel more in control 0 View education favorably More capable of sustaining intimate relationships Foreclosure Status 0 Dogmatic rigid defensive Fear rejection Diffusion Status 0 Less capable of intimacy Avoid making personal decisions 0 Poor academic performance 0 Poor time management 0 More likely to abuse drugs and alcohol Relationship between parenting style and identity status AuthoritativeDemocratic parenting correlated with Identity Achievement o Authoritarian parenting correlated with Identity Foreclosure 0 Because they are scared to question things 0 Permissive parenting correlated with Identity Diffusion 0 Friends with their kids more so than being their kids parents 31715 Emerging Adulthood quotHaving no direction means forging one of my ownquot young college graduate Jeffrey Jensen Arnett coined term of emerging adulthood Clip from college kid that is still relying on parents 0 College kid is unstable and parents cut off because she is trying to become who she is 0 Still trying to gure things out partnership nancially etc What does it mean to be an adult 0 Financiallyindependent What makes someone an adult 0 Accepting responsibility for oneself 0 Making independent decisions 0 Being nancially independent When people have children earlier than expected this is said to quotbe an adult over nightquot Accept a lot more responsibility unexpectedly When do you grow up video 0 Jeffrey Arnett Author of emerging adulthood o Generations becoming adults later than generations before 0 Economy changing Longer to prepare for o Premarital Sex Typical o How to make sure young adults are adaptable o Brains not developed until 25 yrs old Impulse control decision making Biologically it makes sense Prior generations did not have a choice 0 Many interesting choices made while in emerging adulthood this can only be done without serious responsibilities 0 Parents have to be patient Or push a little more Parents can give advice but emerging adults will do what they want 0 Worry when there is no plan f trying things let it happen Lack of motivation and expectations What led to this new stage o Sociological amp Cultural Changes Birth control pill widespread availability of contraception Second wave of the feminist movement in the 1960 s and 1970 s 0 Roles for women have began to change 0 50 years ago women were just housewives and mothers 0 Not as many women were going to coHege o Jobs secretary nurse etc Temporary until married 0 Not complete gender equality but can become a lawyer or doctor and no issue 505 women working hard face resisitance Premarital sex is widely tolerated but not totally accepted c It was normative back then but no contraceptive so if pregnant people would end up married 0 Or get married before sex a lot more likely Its just easier because of contraception o Took control out of hands of men and into the hands of women Condoms are typically the man s responsibility 0 Knocked up clip Woman tells man she s pregnant and the guy says he doesn t use condom 0 Economic Changes Technology 0 Need people to be smarter to enhance the work force 0 More machines less jobs 0 Jobs are very different now Globalization Shifting jobs over sees Multilingual Products made internationally 50 years ago everything was US made 0 People need more education for success now 0 Demographic Changes Increase in the years devoted to higher education 0 1900 less than 5 of population went to college at all 0 1960 25 of men go to college half of that for women 0 Now 70 of people go to college 58 of undergrads are female Increases in the average age of marriage and parenthood o 1970 median age for marriage was 21 for women and 23 for men 0 Now median age of marriage is 26 for women and 28 for men 0 People are getting married later and having kids later 0 Change in the way young people view the meaning and value of becoming an adult New ambivalence about becoming an adult 50 years ago reaching adulthood was an achievement Now not so much Why hurry Most people are not as gunhoe about doing this so early 0 Mortgages 0 Families 0 Marriage 0 Taxes 0 What is Emerging Adulthood 0 Emerging adulthood is a theory developed by Jeffrey Jensen Arnett that proposes a new period of development in industrialized societies that is distinct from both adolescence and young adulthood Only industrialized societies If people in industrialized societies don t go to coHege 0 May get to adulthood sooner 0 Or get a free pass to mess around assume in coHege Wayne Osgood o Identi ed 6 groups of people 0 23 groups did not go to college 0 Typically occurs from age 18 though the mid to late twenties Finish high school go to college Move out from parents More legal rights The end is very variable 0 Lots of heterogeneity no normative experience No path that is typical for everyone I Schooling is all very similar 0 Differences within schooling but all kind of similar Everyone goes in different directions 0 Lots of change Change where you live Romantic relationships change frequently Job and socioeconomic status can change frequently 0 5 features of emerging adulthood 0 Age of identity explorations Erikson s identity v role confusion psychosocial crisis Marcia s moratorium identity status Searching for a soul mate Looking for identity based work 0 Things that are ful lling Trial and error 0 Age of instability Changes in relationships jobs residence educational status etc l m majoring in engineering I mean marketing I mean philosophy 0 Try lots of different ones 0 People now go through on average 7 job changes from age 2229 0 Selffocused age Few responsibilities Not necessarily narcissistic Figuring out who they are resolving the identity v role confusion crisis 0 Age of feeling inbetween Not in high school but not an adolescent Borrowing money still dependent 0 Age of Possibilities Free to do whatever you choose Ex Friend moves to New Zealand and becomes a sheep farmer for two years 0 Came back now stable job and engaged Can t just up and move in other stages not as east Highest substance use anxiety and depression during this stage 0 Things usually work out though 0 Why is EA differentl Love 0 Love in adolescence No expectation of marriage 0 Love in EA Searching for a quotsoul matequot 0 Love in young adulthood I 75 married with children 0 Why is EA different l worked o Adolescence 95 are enrolled in school 0 Emerging adulthood70 enrolled not all nish 0 Young adulthood 10 enrolled in higher education 31915 Intimacy Intimacy Open supportive and tender relationship without the fear of losing one s self 0 After identity is in place you can gure out intimacy Secure of yourself 0 Able to put aside self at times because self is secure 0 Intimacy is self disclosure communicating own feelings with someone else understanding 0 lsolationl selfabsorption fear of losing one s self unwillingness to compromise 0 Friendships come BEFORE romantic relationships 0 Adolescence Female friendships are quotface to facequot with emphasis on selfdisclosure Lets talk always worried 0 If not talking something is wrong Male friendships are quotside by sidequot with emphasis on cooperation leadership competition This causes a problem for heterosexual relationships 0 Females want a lot of self disclosure and males are not used to this 0 Problematic o Adulthood Males demonstrate more competitiveness less agreement and less selfdisclosure than females Selfdisclosures levels in friendships 0 Lowest malemale 0 Higher malefemale Highest femalefemale 0 When males enter a relationship they learn to become more disclosed to grow more intimate with females 0 Girls still might have a higher level of intimacy even when they have a heterosexual relationship I Female still experiencing lower levels of intimacy and males higher I This is an issue I Marriage o In heterosexual marriages males often name their wives as their best friend 0 Women most often name another female as their best friend not their husband 0 Divorce is therefore more emotionally devastating for men 0 Divorce is more often initiated by women than men 0 Identity status prior to intimacy o Moratorium but also still negotiating serious relationships I Spiritual identity I Educational identity 0 Still trying to negotiate relationships women de ne and nd their identity in the context of intimate relationships I Males don t want long term relationships until they ve found their identity I PROBLEM females gure out who they are in relationship men found before longterm relationship I This looks like the female trying on new identities under the in uence of her partner 0 Ex female buys mountain bike because her partner does and then hates it and hates him 0 Not trying to be shifty just trying to learn who they are I ldentity status and intimacy o Foreclosed avoid con ict 0 Diffused dif culty with commitment adopt partner s identity lack depth 0 Moratorium still guring it out o Achieved most success I Males are more likely to enter into a committed relationship after career plans are made Clari cation of interpersonal relationships precedes career plans for females 0 Women marry younger Women initiate divorce more often 0 Attachment and Intimacy 0 Research of Phil Shaver UC Davis 0 Securely attached 55 feel close to others can depend on them 0 Insecure anxious 20 not trusting cling to partner jealous overly dependent o Insecure avoidant 25 uncomfortable being close nd intimacy unpleasant itte emotional expression 0 How do we foster intimacy in relationships 0 Mutual empathy The ability to read someone ese s emotions Compassion the ability to make that better 0 Both ways 0 Mutual authenticity Being genuine not being fake being real not trying to be someone else 32415 Romantic and Sexual Relationships in Adolescence and Emerging Adulthood mostly heterosexual Everything is different according to the person 0 Overview 0 Romantic Relationship in developmental context 0 Nonromantic sexual relationships 0 Sexual health and sexual development 0 Romantic Relationship in developmental context 0 Mutually acknowledged ongoing interactions I Both agree in relationship 0 Affection current or anticipated sexual behavior 0 Distinctive intensity quotIimerencequot Intrusive obsessive thoughts Involuntary Need for reciprocation Beginning of relationshiphoneymoon stage 0 quotMy heart stops when you look at mequot tumblr pintrest etc When and why do we start dating 0 Why don t we start dating in preschool Lifelong process Dating begins in adolescence Combination of familial biologicacognitivesocieta Puberty l emergence of sexual feelings Cognitive understanding of romance 0 As we get older we understand and make more appropriate choices for romantic partners 0 Familial expectations 0 All families are different when they are allowed to start dating 0 Societal expectations 0 Age of marriage earlier etc Dating begins in adolescence What is a normal heterosexual development path for daUng 0 Jon Bon Jovi High school sweet hearts Married Still together with kids 0 This is not always likely 0 Taylor Swift Goes through many people and changes who their true love is 0 Typical timelines Age 15 0 First kissfi rst date Age 17 0 First time saying quotI love youquot 0 First sexual intercourse Age 18 0 First serious relationship Cohabitation around age 22 on Age 26 rst marriage 0 For women Age 28 rst marriage 0 For men 0 Stages of dating Initiation 0 Middle school years crushes no touching etc Affiliation 0 High school 0 Lots of mixed sex peer groups 0 Romantic partners found Intimate 0 College 0 Couples branch off 0 Their lives go more towards their relationships rather than friends Committed Deep attachments to partners 0 Caregiving behaviors o Emotional and physical intimacy 0 Marriage 0 Gay and lesbian are have different stages because they have to establish their sexual identity Selfidentify from adolescence Always know Sometimes takes yea rs 0 Usual with a female friend before parents Development for Gay and lesbian adolescents Age 8 0 First aware of difference 0 Age 10 0 First samesex attraction 0 Age 14 o Firstself labeling 0 Age 14 0 First disclosure 0 Age 15 0 First disclosure to a parent 0 Age 1718 0 First samesex relationship 0 Why is dating in adolescence important 0 Development of sexuality 0 Sexual and romantic identity development Who we re attracted to What do we need in a partner How to solve con icts together How much independence you have Romantic competence 0 Attachment Shift from parents to partners as a secure base to explore the world 0 Healthy Unhealthy anxiously or avoidant attached 0 Positive Effects on developments I Positive Affect 0 Happier Selfesteem Social Competence 0 Negative Effects on development Depression Con ict and mood swings Nonromantic sexual relationships What other types of relationships are there 0 Hookups Booty calls Onenight stands Friends with bene ts quotSex with an Exquot No future All classi ed as hook ups o Hooking up Taking over college campuses The end of Sex 0 How hookup culture is leaving a generation unhappy sexually unful lled and confused about intimacy The end of courtship o By now traditional dating is gone and hooking up is in place Hookup land 0 AKA college 0 Drunken hookup begins relationships 0 Lots of confusion o Ends with leaving tooth brush at partners place The end of courtship why college hookups aren t what you think 0 The majority of college students have hooked up 0 Contemporary college students more likely to have casual partner friend as sexual partner OOOO 0 The majority of college students have also been in a longterm relationship 0 Only 8 of people have had hook up sex with someone they weren t daUng Majority of sex during college occurs in romantic relationships 0 College students think their peers are hooking up more than they are 0 Single college students about 50 are hooking up Not happening every weekend 0 1 hook up per year for women 0 3 hook ups per year for men 0 ln romantic relationships much lower o Is hooking up bad for college students It depends a On Attitudes toward hooking up 0 On reasons for hooking up 0 Internal motivation versus externalpeer factors 0 On alcohol use 0 People who drink may nd sexual partner that would not have happened if drinking 0 People go out with the intention to hook up and then blame it or endorse it with alcohol use Also depends on motivations Less likely to use condom I Complication in consent 0 Drunk no legal consent 0 Outcome of the hookup 0 Some end better than others 0 Future interaction best kind of hookup o Hoping for a romantic relationship from hookup leads to more let downs Girls more likely to feel used 0 Navigating hookup culture 0 Decision making Attitudebehavior consistency Alcohol use Kissing 0 People are less likely to kiss their partners from worst hookup to best hookup 0 Listen to your gut 0 Communication Consent Where is the line 0 Don t know partners limits Using protection Expectations for the relationship 0 Make clear to partner 0 Sexual health and sexual development 0 So many sexual behaviors Kissing Touching above clothes Touching under clothes Fellatio Cunniligus o How do sexual behaviors develop across adolescence 1415 0 First kiss 1415 0 French kiss 1516 0 Touch breast 1516 0 Touch penis 1617 0 Vaginal sex 1718 0 Oral sex 0 How do sexual behaviors evolve across the college years Correlation between sexual behavior and getting older in college Lower in beginning of college How do sexual behaviors evolve across the college years how recent Narrower the time window the less likely people will be to participate in sexual behaviors How do sexual behaviors evolve across the college yearsdaily prevalence Any given day only about 12 kissing 7 touching 4 having sex Some positive correlation with getting older and sex increasing over college years More romantic relationships increase with age Some increase with being independent 0 The rst time having sex 0 O 0 Sex and emotional health the rst time People who have sex early feel worse about their rst time 0 More regret People who have sex early have more depression or feel more uncertain People who initiate sex late feel worse about their rst time also 0 40yearold virgin Girls feel worse than boys Physical pain Not liking the person was the top reason for feeling guilt for both boys and girls Girls cite physical pain boys cite not feeling satis ed as top physical complaints 0 Is the rst time important 0 O O O Satisfaction with the rst intercourse predicts satisfaction with later sexual satisfaction comfort with sexuality years later Guilt with respect to rst intercourse predicts lower sexual satisfaction comfort with sexuality years later Condom use during the rst intercourse predicts subsequent condom use LOL orgasms I Women unlikely for rst time Rose s tips for a good rst time OOOOO Wait Like the person better yet love the person Don t get drunk Use a condom Remember the sensual triad Communication Relaxation I Lubrication 32615 Marriage 0 Living single has become a more viable option for people 0 20 years 50 will be single households 0 Why do you want to get married 0 Average duration of marriage is 9 years 0 By 5 years 22 of marriages have ended o In 1950 average age of marriage was 21 years 23 for men quotThing to doquot 0 To be an adult 0 For a sexual relationship 0 Today average age of marriage for women is 26 years Not dating people for the rest of your life If you meet the right person soul mate 0 To nd your other half someone who completes you Expectations of marriage very high so is the divorce rate 0 Andrew Cherlin o The MarriageGoRound the state of Marriage and the family in America today Americans get married more divorce more and have more livein partners than people in any other western industrialized nation 0 Pair quicker divorce quicker and pair quicker again 0 When it is just 2 people you and the other person are the only people affected 0 Children who have experienced multiple transitions at home Have more behavior problems in school Have sex at an earlier age 0 Children enter adolescence earlier I Less likely to graduate from high school More likely to have a rst child outside of marriage 0 Children born in America are far more likely to see their parents39 partnerships break up than are children in most other countries Cherlin s advice is to SLOW DOWN 0 Don t rush into marriage 0 Don t be so quick to move in a Love 0 Limerance happens to everyone Distracts from children Children get confused 0 Myths about marriage 0 Con ict will ruin your marriage Con ict is healthy No two people do not have con ict It is how you handle the con ict that matters 0 1st acknowledge it 0 Don t hold it in 0 People all ght differently it is healthy as long as the people are okay with it o Affairs are the main cause of divorce Typically the sign of something else going wrong in the marriagerelationship I People cite being faithful being the one of the most important things 0 But affairs are not the ending force of a relationship sometimes 0 If people get through it the relationship becomes stronger 0 Men are not biologically made for marriage Men remarry quicker after divorce Women initiate divorce more often than men Men are more likely to not live alone 0 The best marriages are when couples have the same interests Not necessarily true 0 If partners have different passions you can diversify Still need same values and belief systems 0 Pros and cons to both having similar interests and not 0 What makes a marriage work Gotmanns Research 0 Solving solvable problems Domestic Violence 0 Can t x that One partner wants children one doesn t 0 Should be talked about prior to marriage 0 Can t x Chronic illness with a spouse or a child Autism downs syndrome 0 Parents handle in different ways 0 Can t x Task Sharing 0 Solvable 0 Who does what chores Someone who already has kids or an exwifeex husband 0 Solvable Blend families FinancesMoney o 1 at what couples ght about Solvable Long distance 0 Sovabe 0 Move to same place Lifestyles Smoking drinking obesity 0 Sovabe How you handle con ict with the other person Sovabe All conversations to have prior to getting married 0 If maybe about children hold off on marriage 0 Letting your partner in uence you Bad marriages have one partner not willing to share power 0 The person who holds the most power is the person who cares the least about the relationship 0 That person is unwilling to let hisher partner in uence them 0 Ex 12 introverted 12 extroverted 0 Allow partner to in uence good thing 0 No one is perfect 0 Be open to not being RIGHT about everything Creating a shared meaning of marriage 0 No quotonesizefitsallquot 0 If both partners agree on what their meaning of marriage 0 What do the partners want from the marriage 0 Time of crisis who to turn to 0 Similar interests or not 0 Turn toward each other rather than away The person you choose to marry you want to spend the rest of your life with 0 You should like each other be friends treat them with the best 0 But we treat them the worst sometimes too Turning towards each other means that we are on the same team 0 Show them with the same respect and kindness ignore pettiness o Ignore the childish almost sibling rivalry 0 But we all know that if anyone tried to harm them we would kick their ass Because family will always be there 0 Friendships you have to work for Don t know if they will always be there 0 An unhappy marriage increases as individual s risk of getting sick by 30 and can even shorten a person s life by 4 years 0 People in marriages that have high levels of con ict that is being dealt with in the wrong way suppresses the partners ability to ght illness and causes depression Pew research survey results 0 In the 505 60s and 705 I The consistent top two reason for choosing to marry were 0 Having children 0 Creating stability 0 Presently The top reason for choosing to marry Personal happiness and ful llment The more you spend on a wedding the more you likely you are to get divorced 0 Not focusing on the marriage more on the party 0 Planning lasts for forever Think about the marriage more or equal to the wedding 0 The percentage of americans who consider children as very important to a successful marriage has dropped from 65 in the 1990 s to 40 in 2011 0 Sharing household chores has moved up in importance from 47 in 1990 to 62 presently O Women who work full time and then work at home 0 Creates marital satisfaction to decrease More sex in marriages where household labor is equal Career women s marital satisfaction decreases when marriage involves an unequal division of labor Pew Research Center no rho 996m Being Faithful Happy Sexual Relationship Sharing Household chores Adequate income Good housing Shared religious beliefs Shared interests Having Children i Children quotfreequot now versus Children quotlessquot before Agreement on politics i In numerical rated order ii Important to both partners 0 The Decision to have children 0 Jim Gaf gan 4 kids One way to live your life 0 To be able to raise someone l accomplishment 0 To have someone like you and your partner 0 Get to relive parts of your life through your children 0 When they grow up you ll have someone to take care of you when you re older 0 That s just what you do 0 Advantages of parenthood from both parents and not parents 0 O 0 Giving and receiving warmth and affection Experiencing the stimulation and fun that children add to life Being accepted as a responsible and mature member of the community Experiencing new growth and learning opportunities that add meaning to life Having someone to provide care in old age Gaining a sense of accomplishment and creativity from helping children grow Learning to become less sel sh and sacri ce Having someone carry on after one s own death Having offspring who help with parents work or add their own income to the family s resources P479 in text 0 Disadvantages 0 Loss of freedom being tied down 0 Financial strain 0 Family work con ict not enough time to meet both childrearing and job responsibilities 0 Interference with mother s employment opportunities and career progress 0 Worries over children s health safety and wellbeing o Risks of bringing up children in a world plagued by crime war and pollution 0 Reduced time with husband or wife 0 Loss of privacy 0 Fear that children will turn out badly through no fault of one s own Cumulative information Cumulative Contents Freud s Id Ego Superego Three structures that form personality 0 ID present at birth our basic instinct to seek pleasure and avoid pain to express the self 0 Superegol in place by 36 years old Constraints placed upon the child by parents and the demands of society The rules 0 No hitting Don t take other people s things Sharing is caring Bedtime Healthy food Parenting makes a huge difference 0 Telling someone the rules and enforcing the rules are two different things 0 Children learn rules by them being enforced Grows over time o Egol begins to form in infancy the way in which we cope with our Instinctual Drives ID and the demands made by parents and society Superego Tempertantrums l parents either give in or give up parents play superego Ego mediates the super ego and the ID Ego in the middle ID urges drive Superego parents said no not going to give in 0 Set by parents caregivers teacher Ego decides what to do 0 Behavior what actually happens Empathy o Empathy o Recognizing accepting and responding to another s emotions You can have empathy and not necessarily act in a helpful way Doing something about it is compassion Cosleep What does research say about sleeping arrangements 0 Shorter nightwakings o Lighter sleep for mom and baby Babies sleep on back better for no SIDS and sleep apnea 66 of the world cosleeps We push independence at such an early age and we create less independence 0 Higher levels of independence in preschool 0 Increased cognitive competence 0 Greater selfesteem 0 James McKenna If you have a baby sleep with it Just because we have evolved our systems are not physiologically ready to endorse independence Breastfeeding Breast is the Best 0 Breast milk is entirely better for babies than formula 0 Colostrumljl breast secretion before milk 0 Newborns are hardwired to nurse Not automatic but a learned behavior Size does NOT matter 0 Great for babies immune system Colostrum l 39babies rst immunization lots of antibodies Whenever mom s get sick the antibodies also go to the baby for what the mom has 0 O O 0 Touch 0 O O 0 Kids that breast feed have lower levels of allergies asthma ear infections Continuous v Scheduled Feedings Humans have 80 water in breast milk Babies should breast feed every 3045 minutes More fat in milk the longer it takes to digest Continuous or on demand Takes babies about 2 weeks to gain back their birth weight Scheduled Takes babes about 23 days to gain back If continuous feeding Fat and protein in breast milk makes gain weight Smarter babies When to wean 36 months in this culture 10 still nursing at a year Breast feeding should go to 2 years with food Weaning begins as soon as solid food is introduced typically between 46 months Still good for 18 month olds and very good for mom Mom s get help with uterus contractions Human infants in our culture are touched about 25 of the time By 9 months touch time has decreased to 19 There is about a 20 difference between US infants an institutionally reared infants Touch stimulates growth when human infants were born prematurely when massaged by a massage therapist grew more Smarter bigger and more motorically advanced The power of Touch 49 lowsocioeconomic status SES mothers of newborn infants Half were given soft baby carriers more physical contact other half given infant seats less contact 83 of the infants carried in soft carriers were securely attached at 13 months 38 of infants carried in seats were securely attached At 35 months mothers in the soft carrier group were more contingently responsive than control mothers to their infants vocalizations 0 Now what are you going to buy 0 Breast pump 0 Soft carriers 0 Still a crib but don t be afraid to try cosleeping Never cosleep if drunk Never cosleep medicated If you are obese Firm mattress and not a lot of bedding 0 turn heat up 0 Baby in onesie for 67 months 0 VERY dangerous to give babies cows milk prior to 12 months Attachment 0 Attachment categories 0 O Securely Attached use mother as secure base exhibit distress at mother leaving and stop exploration and seek contact during reunion about 60 of children Key is l does the baby seek comfort from mom and is the baby comforted by mom when she returns Consistently sensitive lnsecurely attached avoidant l rarely cry during separation and avoid mother at reunion indifferent to or dislike physical contact about 20 Might lean away from closeness Consistently insensitive attachment lnsecurely attached ambivalent intensely distressed by separation yet during reunion they seemed to be ambivalent toward mother Sought contact and pushed mother away about 10 Resistant Have had inconsistent caregiving Depressed mothers lnsecurely attached disorganized show confusion as main response to actions Not frequent Most likely linked to severe neglect or maltreatment Abuse Baby that froze bizarre behavior Because of technology parents on phone when infants and toddlers are around 0 Parents are too involved with technology while around their children 0 This pattern of parenting is not adaptive for children 0 Secure kids less dependent on teachers in preschool more cooperative and peaceful responsive to friends requests 0 Insecure kids more dependent more aggressive with peers more withdrawn 0 High investment parenting l the more sensitive in the rst couple years they better the child in the future 0 Can infant form multiple attachments 0 They are highly selective in their choices of attachment gures 0 Not all social relationships can be identi ed as attachments 0 Not all attachment gures are created equal Attachment


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