Book Notes (Chapters 1-6)
Book Notes (Chapters 1-6) COM 313
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Date Created: 02/28/16
Chapter 6 Notes Self-disclosure Dimensions of Self-disclosure - Social Penetration Theory: o Altman and Taylor o Self-disclosure increases as relationships develop. o 6 dimensions of self-disclosure: Depth: how personal the communication is. Breadth: how many topics a person feels free to discuss. Frequency: how often people self-disclose. “Stranger on a plane phenomenon”: long period of disclosure, not frequent. Duration: how long people self-disclose. Valence: positive or negative “charge” of self-disclosure. Ex: happy memories shared would make for a positive valence. Veracity: how honest or deceptive self-disclosure is. o 3 basic layers of self-disclosure: Superficial: easy to penetrate. Commonplace facts. Social: easy for friends and family to penetrate. Likes and dislikes, hopes and fears. Core: hardly ever revealed. Self-disclosure and Liking - Disclosure-liking hypothesis: o Collins and Miller o When a sender discloses to a receiver, the receiver will like the sender more. - Liking-disclosure hypothesis: o Collins and Miller o People will disclose more to receivers they like. - Timing of self-disclosure: o Too much disclosure too soon can lead to disliking. - Personalistic vs. Indiscriminate Self-disclosure: o If a person thinks that they are the only one you disclose to, they are more likely to like you. - The Channel: o Channel: the means of communication. Ex: face-to-face, etc. o People disclose more info in media. o Hyper personal model: Walther: people who communicate online are likely to be close because of more self-disclosure. o Intensification effect: Jiang Chapter 6 Notes More intense feelings of liking and closeness in computer- mediated contexts. - The Receiver’s Response: o Disclosure will not lead to liking for both the sender and receiver if it is received negatively. Reciprocity in Self-disclosure - Dyadic Effect: o Jourard o Reciprocal self-disclosure is how relationships form. - People tend to match level of self-disclosure other people give to them. Risk Associated with Self-disclosure 1. Fear of exposure or rejection. 2. Fear of retaliation or angry responses. 3. Fear of loss of control. 4. Fear of losing one’s individuality. Privacy - Communication Privacy Management Theory (CPM) o People set up boundary structures to control the risks of disclosure. Boundary structures are based on 2 things: Ownership: people feel like they “own” their secrets and info and no one else needs to know it. Permeability: measure of how freely people share their information. o Thin vs. impermeable. o 3 Principles of CPM Influences on Rules for Boundary Management: Culture: some cultures disclose more than others. Personality The relationship Biological sex: women tend to disclose more than men. Motivation: o Ex: people motivated to make friends may disclose more than those simply wanting to accomplish a task. Cooperation: Boundary insiders: people that are involved in someone’s boundary management. Boundary Turbulence: new events force new boundary management. Co-owners of boundary management ideas undergo boundary turbulence. Topic Avoidance and Secret Keeping Chapter 6 Notes - Topics Commonly Avoided or Kept Secret: o Relationship issues. o Negative experiences or failures. o Sexual experiences. o Dangerous behavior. - Forms of Secrets: o Whole-family secrets: held by entire family, kept from outsiders. o Intra-family secrets: some family members keep secrets from others. o Individual secrets: personal secrets. Reasons for Topic Avoidance and Secret Keeping - Relationship-Based Motivations: o Relationship protection: concern for maintaining the relationship. o Relationship de-escalation: people use secrets to terminate a relationship or keep it from escalating. - Individual-Based Motivations: o Identity Management: trying to make yourself look good. - Information-Based Motivations: o Partner unresponsiveness: choose to not disclose because they fear that partner will not respond constructively. o Futility of Discussion: avoid disclosure if they feel like it would be a waste of time to talk about. o Communication Inefficiency: avoid disclosure because they feel like they don’t have the communication skills to talk about it. Consequences of Topic Avoidance: - Standards for Openness Hypothesis: perceptions of partner’s openness determines how they feel about the relationship. Consequences of Secret Keeping: - Negative: o Hyper-accessibility: when trying to suppress a thought, you are more likely to think that thought. o Rebound effect: triggering of thoughts that are normally suppressed. o Fever-model of self-disclosure: people who are distressed about a problem are much more likely to self-disclose it. o Split-loyalty pattern: choosing to keep someone’s secret from another person but also worried about withholding info from the other person. - Positive: o Can be developmentally advantageous. o Increase relationship between keepers of the secret. Consequences of Reveling Secrets: - 5 Reasons why people reveal secrets: o Achieve catharsis. Chapter 6 Notes o Clarify interpretation of events. o Validation o Make relationships closer o Control others. - Positive: o Reduces psychological or physical problems. o Deter hyper-accessibility. o Resolution of secrets. - Negative: o Elicit a negative reaction from listener. o Help a person maintain a privacy boundary. o Bee seen as betrayal of others in the group with the secret. Chapter 4 Notes Managing Uncertainty and Expectancy Violations - Uncertainty Reduction Theory: o People are generally motivated to reduce uncertainty. o Dialectics Theory: people sometimes find uncertainty exciting. o Strategies for Reducing Uncertainty: Passive: rely on observation. Active: mini-experiments to gain info. Interactive: direct contact between info seeker and target. - Predicted Outcome Value Theory: o People are motivated to maximize benefits and minimize costs. o People’s judgements about future outcomes will guide their behavior. - Theory of Motivated Information Management (TMIM): o People prefer certainty in some situations and uncertainty in others. Depends on: Outcome expectancy Efficacy assessment: whether people feel able to gather and cope with info. - Model of Relational Turbulence: o Transition from casual dating to commitment is turbulent. Whether or not to become committed? Clashing of decisions within the relationship about previous question. - Expectancy Violation Theory: o When things violate expectancy, people are more motivated to reduce uncertainty. Prescriptive Expectancies: tell people what to expect based on the rules of appropriateness. Principles of Interpersonal Communication: 1. Verbal and nonverbal messages. 2. Communication is inevitable. 3. Communication has goals. a. Self-presentational goals: we try to sell ourselves. b. Relational Goals: pursue quality relationships. c. Instrumental goals: task oriented, like making money. 4. Communication varies in effectiveness and the most effective messages lead to shared meaning between a sender and receiver. a. Attempted communication: receiver fails to receive a sent message. Like hints that people don’t get. b. Misinterpretation: unintentionally sent message that is received, but misconstrued. c. Accidental Communication: sender doesn’t mean to send message, but receiver interprets it correctly. 5. Every message contains content and relational info. a. Content level: literal meaning. b. Relational level: context for interpreting message of a relationship. 6. Communication can be symmetrical or asymmetrical. a. Symmetrical: dominant statement, dominant response. b. Asymmetrical: dominant statement, weak response. Nonverbal Communication 1. Kinesics: expressions, body and eye movements. 2. Vocalic: silence, pronunciation, pitch, loudness, crying. 3. Proxemics: space. 4. Haptics: touch. 5. Appearance and Adornment 6. Artifacts and environmental cues: use of objects like lighting candles. 7. Chronemic: time, like showing up early. Principles of Relational Communication 1. Relationships emerge across ongoing interactions. 2. Relationships contextualize messages. 3. Communication sends a variety of relational messages. a. Ex: people send messages about their relationships/ b. Fundamental relationship themes: i. Dominant/submissive ii. Level of intimacy iii. Degree of similarity iv. Task-social orientation v. Formality vi. Degree of social composure vii. Level of emotional arousal and activation. 4. Relational communication is dynamic. a. It adjusts to meat challenges. 5. Follows linear and nonlinear patterns. a. Linear: the closer the relationship, the more self-disclosure and nonverbal affection. b. Nonlinear: ex. Showing tons on nonverbal affection to new boyfriend until you get in a fight. Chapter 3 Notes Types of Attraction: 1. Physical 2. Social a. You think you might want to be friends with someone or that they would fit into your group. 3. Task: you would like to work with someone to achieve a goal. 4. Sexual Halo Effect: see physically attractive people as more sociable. Fatal Attraction: qualities that draw us to the person eventually lead to relational breakup. A Framework for Understanding Attraction - 4 Factors determine how we behave during interactions. o Personal qualities (personality) Personal perception of reward value (how much reward you think you will get from the relationship) Expectations: when people behave as we don’t expect, we are more likely to notice. Biological aspects: oxytocin is love hormone, some brain activity is activated with dopamine with pictures of partners shown. Demographic characteristics: men attracted to looks, women attracted to personality. Personality: Attachment style: o Secure: comfortable alone and in a relationship. Dismissive: prefer to be alone. Fearful avoidant: fear intimacy and lack self-confidence. Preoccupied: want intimacy and fear being alone. Relationship Beliefs: Destiny beliefs: people cannot change, first impressions are fixed. Growth beliefs: impression evolves, relationships grow when faced with challenges. Self-esteem: people with high self-esteem are attracted to others with high self-esteem. Narcissism: non-narcissists are attracted to other caring people. o Other People’s Qualities: Physical Attractiveness Interaction Appearance Theory: people perceive others as more attractive if they have positive interactions with them. Assimilation effect: the attention that physically attractive people get spills over to their friends. Interpersonal Communication Skills Warmth Chapter 3 Notes Sociability and Competence Loss-gain effect: people are more attracted to consistently negative people than to people who start nice then begin to act like a jerk. The “Hard-to-get” phenomenon: we are more attracted to people who present us with somewhat of a challenge, rather than too easy or an impossibility. o Qualities of the Pair Similarity: Attitudinal Similarity: people similar in beliefs, values, and attitudes. o More attracted to people more similar to us. Reinforcement Model: we are attracted to people similar to us because they reinforce our views as correct. Similarity in Communication Skills: attracted to others with similar communication skills. o The differential importance explanation Communication is not important for low skilled people, so they do not look for someone of high communication skill. o “Ignorance is bliss” explanation: low skill people are not aware that some people communicate better. o “Sour grapes” explanation: low skilled people perceive high skilled people as out of their reach. o Skill-as-culture explanation: what some people see as poor communication, others might see as effective. Similarity in physical attractiveness o Matching hypothesis: attracted to others of similar attractiveness. Similarity in musical preferences Similarity in names and birth date: o Implicit egotism: we are attracted to others based on arbitrary things (ex: ear lobe size) because of subconscious liking of ourselves. Complementarity: sometimes opposites attract. o More true when it is based on resources, not values. Similarity and Complementarity in initial vs. committed relationships: o High commitment favors similarity. o Qualities of the Physical or Social Environment Reinforcement Affect Model: people associate feelings they get from the environment with people they meet there. Excitation transfer: people mistake the cause of their emotional arousal. Chapter 3 Notes Proximity: more likely to be attracted with someone we see frequently. Social environment: attractiveness is influenced by what friends and family find attractive. The reverse can also occur o “Romeo and Juliet” effect: parental interference can strengthen attraction. Communicating Identity The Development of Personal Identity - Identity: the person we think we are and communicate to others. Communication and Identity: - Hyperpersonal Model: our identity is shaped by our interactions with others and the way they respond and judge us. - Social Identity Theory: people find their identity is being part of a group. o Ex: dance team, chess club, etc. o Minority group members are more aware of their membership because day-to-day actions remind them of their minority. - Communication Theory of Identity: o Hecht (1993) o Clarifies how identities are formed. o Identity Construction can be viewed through 4 frames: 1. Personal Frame: identity is an image we construct within ourselves. 2. Enactment of Communication Frame: identity develops through communication. 3. Relationship frame: identity is formed through relationships. a. Ex: our identity is formed through what kind of friend, daughter, or spouse we are. b. You might feel different about yourself depending on who you are with. 4. Communal frame: identities are partly determined by groups we belong to and by the norms these groups (especially cultural groups) teach us. a. Group identity is strongest in situations of uncertainty. Research on millennials: - Millennials have created their own rules for how their identities are displayed: o Image is indispensable (a person is a brand). o Life is about entertainment. o Success is about having goods. o Media presence is essential (ex: being seen on TV). o Everyone is present (in reference to social media, cell phones). o No gatekeepers: millennials want to select from their own media to communicate through, not regulated media like TV or newspaper. o Privacy is uncool if not impossible. Social Networking and Identity - Extroverts use social networking to enhance their image. - Introverts use social networking as image compensation. - 3 different types of social networking users: o Broadcasters: used to send messages but interact infrequently. Focus on communicating one’s identity. Communicating Identity o Interactors: use social networking to communicate and interact with others. Use to increase intimacy or make new friends. Focus on developing and maintaining relationships. o Spies Focus on identity surveillance. Identity, Perception, and Self-esteem: - Theory of self (Vision of self): o Self-esteem: how positively or negatively we view ourselves. Expanding Identity: - Self-expansion theory: o 3 Primary Predictions: 1. People seek to expand themselves (to be more than they are). 2. One reason people look into relationships is as a way of expanding their identities. 3. Relationships that seek new experiences with a partner can dramatically improve relationships. Principles of Identity Management 1. Identity and Hierarchical Structure a. Identities provide us with a hierarchical structure of who we are. i. Includes relationships, roles, goals, personal qualities, accomplishment, and group membership. 1. The more central these roles are to our identity, the more stable they are over our lifetime. 2. Identity and the Looking-glass Self a. The feedback we receive from others helps shape our identities. 3. Identity and Interpretation of Feedback a. Our identities help us interpret feedback from others. i. We are likely to interpret feedback from others as consistent with our identity. ii. We are more likely to remember info and comments consistent with our identity and more likely to forget info that is not. 1. The more central the trait, the more true this statement is. 4. Identity, Expectations, and Behavior a. Identity incorporates expectations and guides behavior. b. We tend to behave consistently with our identity. c. Causes Self-fulfilling Prophecies: causes people to behave in a way that makes it more likely that their behavior will be consistent with their identity. 5. Identity and Self-evaluation a. Identity influences our evaluation of self. i. Ex: good students would view themselves poorly if they got a C. 6. Identity and Goal Achievement Communicating Identity a. Identity influences the likelihood of goal achievement. i. Ex: people who see themselves as good students are likely to get better grades. 7. Identity and Relationships a. Our identity influences what social relationships we choose to pursue. i. If we view ourselves positively, we will choose to be in positive relationships. Communicating Identity to Others - 3 Perspectives on how people use communication to make others view them in a positive light. o Self-presentational: trying to portray a positive image of yourself to others. Segregating elements of ourselves depending on the audience. General Issues: Attractiveness deception: lying about age or weight, for example. Display rules: ex: faking interest in a boring conversation. Emotional labor: people must display certain attitudes or emotions at work. Affinity seeking behavior: actions designed to attract others. o Dramaturgical: people are similar to actors on a stage. 3 conditions that make impression management important: Behavior reflects highly valued, core aspects of the self. o We are more likely to behave in a way that highlights characteristics more central to who we are. Successful performance is tied to vital positive or negative consequences. Behavior reflects directly on valued rules of conduct. Front vs. Back stage: Front: performances are enacted. Back: we can be more relaxed and let our guard down. Wings: surrounding backstage. o Here we can find perfume or other things that can help us present ourselves. Role/audience/context o Ex: we might feel okay with singing at a karaoke bar out of town, but not in town or at work. o Politeness Theory Revolves around 4 general assumptions: People have to deal with a constant struggle of doing what they want and putting on a positive face. Communicating Identity People’s positive and negative faces can be validated or threatened through interaction. o Face-threatening acts (FTAs): behaviors that detract from an individual’s identity by threatening positive or negative face desires. Both members of an interaction try to avoid threatening their own or their partner’s face needs. o Try not to make others look bad, respect those who don’t make us look bad. Severity of FTAs depends on several factors o Threats to your own face: The more important the rule violated, the more threatening the FTA. The more harm the behavior produces, the more threatening the FTA. The more the actor is responsible for the behavior, the more severe the FTA. o Threats to one’s own or another person’s face. The more of an imposition the behavior is, the greater the FTA. The more power the receiver has over the sender, the more severe the FTA. The larger the social difference between sender and receiver, the more severe the FTA. Positive Face: positive image people portray and hope to have validated by others. Negative Face: wants to do what we want to do and not always have to put on a façade. Facework strategies: people use strategies to manage face needs in an interaction: Bald-on strategy: primary attention to task, less attention to helping partner save face. o Ex: “Come home right now!” o Most used when power difference is great or maximum task efficiency is needed. Positive Politeness Strategy: address receiver’s positive face while still accomplishing a task. o Often a request. o Complimenting a person before requesting a favor. Negative Politeness Strategy: address receiver’s negative face while accomplishing a task. o Request with emphasis on receiver’s ability to decline. Ex: “I suppose there wouldn’t be any way that I could borrow your car?” Communicating Identity Going off-record strategy: primary attention to face and little attention to task. o Ex: hinting. Decide not to engage in FTA in order to preserve face. Preventive framework: efforts to minimize face threats. Types: o Disclaimers: Hedging: “I may be way off, but…” Credentialing: “As your mom, I say…” Sin licensing: “Since we’re all disclosing embarrassing situations…” Cognitive Disclaimer: “I know you’re going to think I’m crazy, but…” Appeal for suspended judgement: “Hear me out…” o Verbal self-handicapping: people offer an excuse to minimize the face threat of poor performance. Ex: before a dance recital, a performer tells coach about a knee injury. Corrective framework: efforts to repair a previously damages identity. 6 Strategies: 1. Avoidance: ignoring an occurrence. 2. Humor: laugh at yourself. 3. Apologies 4. Accounts: attempts to explain the act. a. Ex: excuses. 5. Remediation: repair physical damage. a. Ex: cleaning up a spill. 6. Aggression a. Ex: physically fighting after someone insults you.
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