HDF 211 Additional Notes
HDF 211 Additional Notes HDF 211
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Date Created: 03/10/16
Remarriage & stepfamilies Chapter 14 SingleParent Families: o Characteristics of SingleParent Families: o Creation by divorce or births to unmarried women: Single parent families created through births to unmarried women have increased at a higher rate than singleparent families created through divorce Divorce mothers receive less social support versus widowed spouses. o Significance of Ethnicity: White single mothers were more than likely to be divorced than their African American or Latino counterparts. o Poverty: Women tend to experience a drop in their income from divorce Receive few financial resources and under constant stress trying to make ends meet. Greater for women versus men Tend be younger, less educated, and greater likely hood of being unemployed. o Diversity of Living Arrangements: Greater flexibility in managing childcare and housing with limited resources Absence of parents’ live in parents, parents’ romantic partners may play important roles in their children’s lives Social father—male relative, family associate, or mothers partner —demonstrate parental behaviors to the child o Children in Single Parent Families: o Children born outside of marriage tend to suffer economic disadvantages that may then lead to other educational, social, and behavioral outcomes. o More likely to engage in high risk behaviors (smoking, drugs, less likely to graduate high school, unprotected sex, etc.) o Changing Family Structure: The mother becomes closer and more responsive to her children. No other partner is available to help maintain rules so the child might have more power to negotiate rules. Children might learn responsibility and other necessary skills. o Successful Single Parenting: o Characteristics of Successful Single Parents: Acceptance of responsibility and challenges of single parenthood Parenting as first priority Consistent, nonpunitive discipline Emphasis on open communication Fostering individuality supported by the family Recognition of need of self nurturance Dedication to rituals and traditions. o Single parent family strengths: Parenting skills: both expressive and instrumental roles and traits as a parent Personal growth: developing a positive attitudes toward the changes that have taken place Communication Family management Financial support Binuclear Families: o A postdivorce family system with children. o Dissolves the husbandwife relationship, but not the child and parent relationship o Subsystems of the binuclear family: o Former spouse subsystem: Must work through… Anger and hostility toward each other Conflict over different parenting styles, values, and aspirations concerning the children Shifting roles and relationships between former spouses when one or both remarries Must separate their marital siblings and issues from their mutual desire to raise their children. o ParentChild subsystem o Sibling, stepsibling, and halfsibling subsystem o Mother/stepmotherfather/stepfather subsystems Remarriage: o Remarriage—a marriage in which one or both partners have been previously married. o Rates and patterns of remarriage: o More men remarry than women for numerous reasons: Divorced women tend to be older than never married women Women are most likely to have custody of children o 6 stations of Remarriage (parallels divorce) o Emotional remarriage – reestablishing bonds; “newish” in a relationship, new trust o Legal remarriage – special considerations; how you divide assets o Economic remarriage – establishing household; equity with children o Parental remarriage – stepparent finding a role; children’s reaction o Community remarriage – changes to the social world o Psychic remarriage – relinquishing autonomy o Maintaining Boundaries – o “Ghosts” from the first marriage; basically paying the sins of your previous relationship o Encouraging positive parenting relationships without being emotionally attached (even negatively) Put the child in awkward position or your new spouse o Conceptualizing Remarriage & Stepfamilies o Historically, stepfamilies were formed following the death of a spouse o Today, stepfamilies more commonly are formed following parental divorce o Definition Any family with at least one child from a previous marriage or partnership (allows recognition of cohabiters & gay/lesbian stepfamilies) o Types of SF complexity with working together as co parents– his family, my family, our family Blended Families/Stepfamilies: o Structural Differences: o Almost all the members in a stepfamily have lost an important primary relationship o One biological parent typically lives outside the current family o Stepparent roles are ill defined o Many children in stepfamilies are also members of a noncustodial parent’s household o Children have at least one extra set of grandparents o Five subsystems of a binuclear family o 1. Former spouse subsystem Continue parenting responsibilities Emotions from previous marriage Conflict around children Separate parental issues o 2. Parent child subsystem Child’s reunion fantasies Child may not like new parent Child may lose role with remarriage Develop parental roles o 3. Sibling subsystem Instant siblings (shift in age order); only child to having siblings Developing new relationships Sharing bioparent May see infrequently or live with them o 4. Stepparent/parent subsystem Frequently dependent on ex spouse relationship May come between the new couple o 5. Remarried couple subsystem Must provide across between children and other parenting system Experience many typical marital issues that are complicated by presence or involvement of ex o Papernow’s developmental stages for stepfamilies: o Early Stages (2 3 yrs.) – Courtship and early period of remarriage; hope for instant nuclear family that will fulfill dreams of how families should be Fantasy—bio parents hope the new partner will be a better spouse and parent than the previous partner Assimilation/immersion– reality replaces fantasy; “sinkorswim” Awareness – gain understanding and acknowledging feelings o Middle Stages (2 3 years) – more clear about feelings & relationships; this stage involves the emotional structure Mobilization – members recognize differences; conflict becomes more open; mobilize around unmet needs Action– begins to take major steps in reorganizing itself as a stepfamily; creates new norms and family rituals o Late Stages (1 year) – solidifying the stepfamily Contact – make intimate; relationships become genuine; communicate with a sense of ease & intimacy; clear role for the stepparent finally emerges Resolution– feeling that earlier issues have sense of acceptance Step parenting: o Women in stepfamilies: o Enter with high hopes and experience more difficultly o Does not expect it take time for her and her children to become emotionally integrated as a family o Step children tend to view their relationship more difficult with their stepmother versus stepfather o Men in stepfamilies: o Different expectations are placed on men; usually less involved with children o Dealing with having kids of his own living his exwife. May experience guilt and confusion o Disciplining might be difficult because kids won’t respond correctly o Myths & stereotypes o Not a real family o Wicked stepmother o Stepfathers are uninvolved with stepchildren o Children believe these stereotypes, as do adults but not as strongly o People act toward others based on what they believe to be true (Remember, SI?) Thinking stepmother is nasty—you will see it through that lens Experience many typical marital issues that are complicated by presence or involvement of ex o Common problems in stepfamilies o Favoritism: biological child versus step child o Divided loyalties: trying to show the same love for both parents o Discipline: different parenting styles between step and biological o Money o Possible strengths for stepfamilies o Can provide companionship and love o May become more stable and have more stable and have more positive role models o Children may gain new perspective o May gain additional siblings o Stepfamilies o ___________family a postdivorce family system ________________________ ____________________________________. Conceptualizing Remarriage & Stepfamilies o Historically, stepfamilies were formed following the death of a spouse o Today, stepfamilies more commonly are formed following parental divorce o Definition Any family with at least one child from a previous marriage or partnership (allows recognition of cohabiters & gay/lesbian stepfamilies) o Types of SF complexity with working together as co parents– his family, my family, our family Myths & stereotypes o Not a real family o Wicked stepmother o Stepfathers are uninvolved with stepchildren o Children believe these stereotypes, as do adults but not as strongly o People act toward others based on what they believe to be true (Remember, SI?) Thinking stepmother is nasty—you will see it through that lens Experience many typical marital issues that are complicated by presence or involvement of ex Common problems in stepfamilies o Favoritism: biological child versus step child o Divided loyalties: trying to show the same love for both parents o Discipline: different parenting styles between step and biological o Money Possible strengths for stepfamilies o Can provide companionship and love o May become more stable and have more stable and have more positive role models o Children may gain new perspective o May gain additional siblings Families in the Later Years Particular Stressors o Ageism: any assumptions we have on old people o Widowhood and widowerhood o Retirement Transition o Economic Transition o Changing Health ParentChild Relationships o Parents continue to worry o More resources continue to flow down Shared meals Loans Cosigning loans Bargain rates sales of homes, vehicles and businesses o Giving emotional support to children is associated with better psychological well being than is only receiving social support from children Elder Care o Adult children, especially daughters, remain the most reliable source of instrumental support for parents Ties of affection Sense of responsibility o Sandwich generation o Cultural variation o Caregivers perceived burden and level of depression increases as patient’s functional status declines o Many women more depressed as caregiving role increases o Can also experience rewards o Fiduciary a person named to manage your money, property, assets o Power of Attorney – legal document. Gives you legal authority to make decisions about someone’s money or property o Health care power of attorney makes decisions about health care Tips for Staying Relatively Healthy o Exercise physically o Exercise mentally o Lose weight & don’t smoke o Watch what you eat o Control BP and avoid diabetes o Establish strong social networks Grandparenting Relationships o Unique relationship as it is exempt from the psych emotional intensity and responsibility that exist in the parentchild relationship o Another love and secure relationship o Bridge generations and a history o Provide opportunities parents cannot afford o Confidants: feeling more comfortable talking with grandparents o Relationship mediated by parents Usually maternal grandparents have stronger connection than with paternal grandparents Particularly with divorce Grandparenting Rights o All states require grandparents to prove custody or visitation is the best interests of the child LGBTQ Families Research shows gay & lesbian couples more similar than different from heterosexual couples o Context is the major difference: having an environment viewing your relationship different because of same-sex differences Some Historical Events of Gay and Lesbian Life in America: o 1610 - Virginia first colony to pass sodomy laws in the U.S. o 1785 - Virginia first to drop the death penalty on sodomy o 1948 - Kinsey publishes sexuality book and talks about frequency of homosexual behavior among males o 1950 - McCarthy investigations regarding communistic political affiliation included gays because they were thought to be easily blackmailed, thus were security risks o 1961 - Illinois first state to decriminalize homosexual acts between consenting adults in private o 1969, June 28 – Stonewall Riots, first outright riots against police in Stonewall Inn, NY city, beginning of modern gay rights movement o 1972 – East Lansing becomes the first US city to adopt a nondiscrimination hiring policy on sexual orientation; can not hire someone just based on sexual orientation o 1973 - APA removed homosexuality as a disorder from Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders o 1996 - Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA): o 2003 – U.S. Supreme Court rules sodomy laws are unconstitutional Marriage 2004 Massachusetts Supreme Court’s decision specified the right to marry same sex couples o February 4, 2004, “the state supreme court ruled four to three that a ‘civil union’ solution was unacceptable in that it would constitute ‘an unconstitutional, inferior, and discriminatory status for same sex couples.’ DOMA – Defense Against Marriage Act – 1996, “marriage is a legal union between one man and one woman” and denied federal recognition of same-sex June 24, 2013, U.S. Supreme Court struck down DOMA as unconstitutional o The court declared that gay couples married in states where it was legal must receive the same federal health, tax, Social Security and other benefits that heterosexual couples receive. Did not legalize same sex marriage in the U.S. Relationships o Gay men and lesbians experience relationship satisfaction at a level at least equal to that reported by married heterosexual spouses Parenting Children of gay and lesbian parenting are just as likely to co-parent equally than fathers in hetero relationships Children of gay & lesbian parenting are just as likely to flourish No differences in above characteristics when comparing children raised with heterosexual vs. gay or lesbian parents: o Self esteem o Depressive symptoms o Anxiety o Academic achievement o Trouble in school o Quality family relationships o Development of romantic relationships Abuse November 30, 2015 Child Abuse Statistics: o Every 47 seconds, a child suffers from abuse or neglect o Each day, 2,479 children are abused or neglected o Each day, more than four children die as a result of abuse or neglect—one every 5.5 hours o Children in age group of birth to 1 had the highest rate of victimization Types of Abuse: o Physical Abuse – easiest to detect; examples: hitting, shaking, etc. o Emotional Abuse – psychological/verbal, can consist of belittling, humiliating, threatening, isolating, or corrupting (involving illegal activities) o Neglect – fails to provide for the child’s basic needs such as food, shelter, clothing, & supervision; may also be medical, emotional, or educational Some Cumulative Effects of Child Abuse o Age (where the child is developmentally) o Chronicity o Negative effects are compounded due to the detrimental effect on emotional and social relationships Sexual Abuse o Most research has focused on fatherdaughter o Motherchild also but is rarely discussed o National Center on Child Abuse and Neglect estimates 25% of sexual abuse is by women, primarily mothers They say it is likely an underestimate Why some children react differently than others: o Types of abuse o Identity of the perpetrator o Duration of the abuse o Extent of the abuse o Age when child was abused o First reaction by others at disclosure o When abused was disclosed o Personal structure of victim Based on CPS investigations: o More than 75 percent of victims suffered neglect o More than 15 suffered physical abuse o Fewer than 10 suffered sexual abuse o Fewer than 10 suffered psychological maltreatment Prevalence of perpetrators o More than 80 percent of perpetrators of child maltreatment were parents o 53% were women o 82 of all perpetrators were between 1844 years old Intimate Partner Violence Situational Couple Violence (SCV) Conflict escalates over an issue One or both partners lose control May be symmetrical o Intimate Terrorism Designed to dominate partner and control the partner Escalating violent episodes Emotional abuse Usually men More likely to be transmitted intergenerationally Violence Resistance Violence to resist intimate terrorism Self defense or an expression of anger/resistance More often perpetrated by women o Some studies show women inflict more verbal and physical aggression than men o Difference between quantity and severity Women: may be indirect (gossip, rumors), thrown things, slap, kick, or punch Men are more apt to choke, strangle, rape, and murder Cycle of Violence o Phase one – the tension building phase o Phase two – the acute battering phase o Phase three – the loving contrition phase Emotional Abuse o Psychological abuse o Verbal abuse o Symbolic aggression (breaking things) o To denigrate o Make partner vulnerable and controlled Other Family Abuse o Sibling violence Estimates of 4090% under 18 experience sibling violence or abuse Physical, psychological, or sexual Little attention & less concern than other abuse o Child parent violence Least understood and least studied Estimated to be more prevalent than spousal and child abuse o Elder Abuse Neglect Physical abuse Financial abuse Sexual abuse Emotional and psychological abuse Social isolation and mental disability make an older person vulnerable Most abuse occurs in domestic settings by family members—most often an adult child or spouse
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