Notes for Exam 1 of HDFS 1600
Notes for Exam 1 of HDFS 1600 HDFS 1600
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Chapter 1 – Family 10/1/15 10:36 AM What is a family • Who is included? Who isn’t? o Parents, grandparents, siblings, step parents/siblings, cousins, pets, aunts, uncles • What are some examples of factors that influence your definition of family? Defining family • Traditionally, both law and social science have specified that the family consists of people related by blood, marriage, or adoption • The US Census Bureau defines a family as “a group of two or more persons related by blood, marriage, or adoption, two or more people residing in a home together Families Today • Of all the family types in the US, what perfect fit the 1950s family of a married heterosexual couple, husband is breadwinner, with the wife being a homemaker? o Correct Answer: 7 percent of families fit this mold Typical Families • Today, only 7% of families fit the 1950s nuclear family ideal of married couple and children • Dual career families are common and there are reversed role families • There are many different family forms: single parent families, stepfamilies, cohabiting families, etc. New Definition of Family • Any sexual expressive or parent child or other kin relationship which people related by ancestry, marriage, or adoption o 1. Form an economic unit and care for any young o 2. Consider their identity to be significantly attached to the group o 3. Commit to maintain that group over time Facts About Families • 1. Fewer people are currently married o (24% of never married 25-34 live with a partner) • 2. People have been postponing marriage in recent years o Why? – cohabiting, wanting to get ahead in profession before marriage, travel, money o (In 2011, the median age at first marriage was 26.9 for women, 28.9 for men, compared to 20.8 for women and 23.2 for men in 1970) • 3. Cohabitation has emerged as a new family form as well as a transitional lifestyle choice o In 1990 to 2000 there was a 72% increase in the number of unmarried couple households – 10 fold increase since 1970 o As a first union, 48% of women cohabited with a male partner, up from 43% in 2002 and 34% in 1995 o 3.4% of Americans self identify as fay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender o .77% of US households are same sex households about 594,000 were reported in 2011 o 22% of male same sex partner households and 34% of female same sex households include children • 4. The number if people living alone is substantial (why?) o Single person households represent a quarter of American households o The average size of a US household dropped from 3.14 people in 1970 to 2.54 in 2014 • 5. Many adult children live with their parents o Of young adults age 18 to 23, 53% lived with parents in 2013 • 6. Four Percent of households are multigenerational o These are more likely to be found in areas of new immigration • 7. Parenthood is increasingly postponed and fertility has declined o Why? – expensive, many types of contraceptives, marriage is postponed o The total fertility rate dropped to 1.7 in 1976 from 3.6 children per woman in 1957 • 8. The nonmarital birthrate has risen the past 60 years o Births to unmarried mothers were 41% of all births in 2013 compared to 18.4% in 1980 and 4% in 1950 o 45% of all first births are now to unmarried women o 58% of nonmarital births were to cohabiting parents • 9. Divorce rates have stabilized, although they remain at high levels o The divorce rate, which had risen slowly from the mid- nineteenth century onward, doubled from 1965 to 1980 o It began to drop, falling 30% between 1980 and 2010 o Between 40 and 50% of recent first marriages are likely to end in divorce Chapter 1 – Family (Continued) 10/1/15 10:36 AM Influence of Social Factors • “The society in which we live influences our lives so much that we cant understand our personal or family lives without giving attention to our social environment” Religiosity is Tanking • 83% of American adults surveyed indicated religious identification on 2007, and it dropped to 75% in 2008 • US is still one of the most religious modern industrialized nations Religions Influence on Family • Fertility practices • Beliefs about sexuality • Public policy • Gender roles • Marital stability • Child-rearing practices • Holiday celebrations • Dating practices Religion • “Born-again” Christians are less likely to cohabit, but their divorce rates do not differ • More than half of Jews do not have Jewish spouses, and in those marriages more then 2/3rds of children are not being raised as Jews • Islamic families maintain a religious family life in a culture that does not share their beliefs • Percent of American adults who identify with a religious affiliation o 84% (2008) o 82.6% (2010) o 80.4% (2012) • Can be a significant influence on family life Living in different regions • Why the differences in family values and family patterns?? Region • Traditional families • Unwed partners • Same sex partner households • Divorce • Children’s living arrangements • Poverty and labor force participation • Corporal punishment • Sexuality • Teen pregnancies and births • Gender roles Welcome to the “Family Wars” • The two extremes o 1. Families are the building blocks of society, American families are falling apart, therefore American society is in a state of decline and is going to hell in a hand basket ! Family decline perspective o 2. The notion of the declining family is a myth ! The good ol’ days weren’t; the family hasn’t caught up with the rapid social changes; families are different but still strong and here to stay and the issue is really one of cultural lag ! Support families, don’t stigmatize them The Two extremes stem from two perspectives • Familism • Individualism • 91% of Americans report that family relations are extremely important to them • Family values such as family togetherness, stability, and loyalty focus on the family as a whole • Placing family wellbeing over individual interests and preferences is Familism Familistic (Communal) Values • Familistic values such as family togetherness, stability, and loyalty focus on the family as a whole • They are communal values and emphasize the needs, goals, and identity of the group Individualistic Values • Just as family values permeate American society, so do individualistic (self-fulfillment) values • These values encourage people to think in terms of personal happiness and goal and the development of a distinct individual identity • An individualistic orientation gives more weight to the expression of individual preferences and the maximization of individual talents and options “Family Decline” or “Family Change”??? • Family Decline – four basic assumptions o The institution of marriage is weaker now than in the past o The most important cause of this change is the growing and excessive individualism of American culture o The declining status of marriage has had negative consequences for adults, children, and society in general o We should initiate steps to strengthen the institution of marriage “Family Change” or “Marital resilience” Perspective • Basic assumptions o The institution of marriage is changing, but it is not necessarily in a state of decline o Americans have not become excessively individualistic and selfish during the last few decades o Recent changes in marriage and family life have had few negative consequences for adults, children, or the wider society o We should support all types of families, not just married heterosexual couples with children What do you think? • Family Decline Perspective: families are the building blocks of society, American families are falling apart, therefore American society is in a state of decline • Family Change Perspective: the notion of the declining family is a myth. The family hasn’t caught up with the rapid social changes; families are different but still string and here to stay Conclusions that can be drawn? Good? Bad? Neutral? • Family relationships have become more complex (N) • More options for people, especially women (+) • Relationships have become easier to exit (+/-) • When combined with economic conditions, children are suffering (-) • More children are growing up without models of healthy, successful relationships (-) Making Choices • People make choices even when they are not aware of it • There are two forms of decision making o Choosing by default o Choosing knowledgeably Choosing by Default • Choices people make when they are not aware of alternatives or when they pursue the path of least resistance o Sometimes, college students choose their courses or even majors by default o Many decisions concerning marriages and family are made by default Choosing Knowledgeably • Two components on choosing knowledgeably: o Recognizing as many options or alternatives as possible o Recognizing the social pressures that may influence personal choices • One aspect of making knowledgeable choices is considering the consequences of alternatives rather than gravitating toward the one that seems most attractive 5, 4, 5, 3, 3, 4, 5, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 5 – 51 (familistic) 4, 2, 3, 2, 1, 4, 3, 3, 2, 1, 3, 2, 3 – 33 (individualistic) Chapter 2 – Research Methods and Theory Studying the Family • The variation in family forms and the variety of social settings for family life mean that few of us can rely on firsthand experience in studying the family • Our experiential reality- beliefs we have about the family – may not be accurate • Agreement reality- what members of a society agree is true – may misrepresent the actual experience of families • What issues have you seen in the news/media related to families? Do you think it is accurate? How do you know? o As a student in this class, and as an educated consumer of the media, I want you to have a basic understanding of how research findings and knowledge about families in general are obtained Family Research • Research – “to investigate thoroughly” • Goal of family research: to gather information so conclusions and generalizations can be made about what families loo like, how they live, interactions, functions, relationship patterns, etc. • Research involves asking questions and then using systematic methods to gather evidence that will provide answers to those questions • What are some examples of basic family research questions? o How has the family changed in the past 10 years? o How many family generations live in your home? o Why have divorce rates changed? o What is the average age of people getting married now? o Does stress cause divorce? Research Methods • Descriptive Studies: focus on compiling accurate accounts of how families live and give detail on how they are organized o What percent of children live in single parent families? o How are household chores divided in two parent families? o How do stepfamilies differ from first married two parent families • Descriptive studies ask the key questions: Who, What, When, Where, and How? • Explanatory Studies: build on descriptive studies by asking the “Why” question o Seeks to understand the process and reasons behind certain phenomena – asks, “why is this useful?” ! Why is marital conflict often harmful for children, even when parents do not divorce? ! Why is the divorce rate higher for couples in stepfamilies? • Prediction – the purpose of many family studies is to be able to predict phenomena in family life o These studies identify likely outcomes associated with various factors o What are some predictors of divorce? Deductive vs. Inductive Reasoning • Deductive reasoning (reasoning down) begins with a hypothesis that has been derived (ie. Deduced) from a theoretical point of view. Then test with observed facts o Quantitative research • Inductive reasoning (reasoning up) – observe facts then have generalizations – no hypothesis o Qualitative research Research Methods • Secondary data – evidence and information that already exists; diaries, letters, government data bases – census • Primary data – new data collected by researcher o Insider and outsider perspectives ! Insider – self reports (what is a strong marriage?) ! Outsider – an outsider trying to report objectively (watch couples interact, or child play on playground) • Insider Methods o Questionnaires and surveys: very uniform, by telephone, mail, in person, email, internet o Interviews: ask participants questions, in person, or phone; closed or open ended • Outsider Methods o Observation: outsider watches behaviors and listens to interactions (eg. John Gottman) ! Unobtrusive – public places (mall, park, airport, restaurant) ! Naturalistic – natural settings (homes, workplace, child care) • Longitudinal Data – info gathered from same group at more than one point in time; more accurate assessment of change out time; costly o Advantages: More accurate data, consistency overtime o Disadvantages: Some people drop out, don’t contact back, form bias, expensive • Cross Sectional Data – info collected from a sample at one point in time; less expensive o Less expensive Theory • In idea or set of ideas that explain some phenomenon • A theory provides o Logical explanations o Predictions o A sense of understanding o Some measure of control Theoretical Perspectives • …are ways of viewing reality • assist researcher observer in organizing and interpreting data • lead researchers to identify aspects of families that are of interest • suggest explanations for family patterns and practices Family Ecology Perspective on the Family • Theme: the ecological context of the family affects family life and children’s outcomes • Key concepts: natural physical-biological environment; human built environment; social cultural environment • Current research: family policy; neighborhood effects Family Ecology Perspective • Family Ecology – provided a framework for describing how physical and social settings (neighborhoods, school, workplace, etc.) influence families and their members, and how families influence these settings • Holistic in nature • Set of nested structures • Four Systems (Bronfenbrenner) o 1. Microsystem – individual interaction, shapes identity, roles, personal groups o 2. Mesosystem – organizational factors that shape the environment within which the individual and interpersonal relations occur. Also – the connections between the various microsystems (eg. Exchange between school and family, work/family) o 3. Exosystem – environmental settings where individuals don’t directly participate – community influence (eg. Law enforcement, local government) o 4. Macrosystem – social, cultural, political, historical forces – broadly influences values, attitudes, norms, etc. Life Course/Family Development Perspective on the Family • Theme: Families experience predictable changes over time • Key Concepts: family life cycle; developmental tasks • Current research: transition to adulthood Family Development Perspective • Family units, like individuals, go through a series of stages that represent growth and progression • Family life cycle • Developmental tasks • Stages marked off by: 1) addition or subtraction of family member, 2) various stages children go through, 3) changes in family connection with other social institutions • Stages o 1. Newly established couple o 2. Families of preschoolers o 3. Families of primary school children o 4. Families with adolescents o 5. Families in the middle years o 6. Aging families o *other researchers have broke the family life cycle into 8 stages Current “hot topic” in Family Development Perspective • Emerging adulthood • Nature of period has changed (changes in timing of marriage and parenthood) • Postponement of these events leaves late teens and early twenties open for exploring possible life directions • Nothing is normative demographically ( residential status, school attendance, etc.) Structure-Functional Perspective on the Family • Theme: the family performs essential functions for society • Key Concepts: social institution; family structure; family functions • Current Research: cross cultural and historical comparisons Structure Functional Perspective • Family as social institution that performs certain (essential) function for society • Meets the needs of members, enable to society to survive • What functions? Depends on the society and how it is organized o Raise children responsibly o Provide economic support o Give emotional security • Assumptions o 1. Each social unit composed of interrelated parts that fit together an work together to carry out tasks o 2. Ideal for all social units to maintain equilibrium/balance between its parts • Criticisms o Biased toward heterosexual nuclear family o Specialized gender roles ! Instrumental ! Expressive Exchange Theory perspective on the Family • Theme: the resources that individuals bring to a relationship or family affect formation, continuation, and nature of a relationship • Key Concepts: resources, costs and rewards, exchange balance, power and decision making • Current Research: family power, entry and exit from marriage, family violence Social Exchange Theory • Individuals personal resources affect their formation of and continuation in relationships and their relative positions in families or other groups • Basic premise: people use their resources to bargain and secure advantage in relationships • The person with the most interest in the relationship has the least power • Motivations lie in anticipated costs and rewards • Rewards • Costs • Reciprocity • Exchange balance o Dating as an example ! According to the theory, dating relationships generally continue until one or both of the partners find the experience more costly than rewarding • Assumes human nature to be unrealistically rational • Inequality eventually erodes positive feelings Systems Theory Perspective on the Family • Theme: the family as a whole is more than the sum of its parts • Key Concepts: system; equilibrium, boundaries; family; therapy • Current research: family efficacy and crisis management; family boundaries Systems Perspective • Family behavior cannot be understood without examining the interrelationships between family members (commonly used in marriage and family therapy) • Family relationships change when a change occurs in any one individual member’s behavior • A system is organized with specific positions, roles, norms, values, and status hierarchies Interactionist Perspective on the Family • Theme: the internal dynamics of the family as a group of inter- acting individuals shape the family • Key Concepts: interaction; self concept; identity; meaning • Current Research: family rituals; meanings assigned to domestic work (Symbolic) Interaction Perspective • Unlike the previous 3, this perspective looks at Internal family dynamics • Deals primarily with interaction between individuals at a symbolic level • Symbols • Significant others • Self-concept – basic feelings people have about themselves, their abilities, and worth; identity – sense of inner sameness developed by individuals throughout their lives Symbolic Interaction Perspective: Criticisms • Difficult to test empirically • Overestimates power of individuals to create own realities Feminist Perspective on the Family • Theme: gender is central to the analysis of family; male dominance in family and society is oppressive of women • Key Concepts: Male dominance; power and inequality; sex/gender systems • Current Research: work and family; domestic violence; family power; advocacy of women’s issues Feminist Perspectives • Focus of gender issues • Male dominance in family and society as oppressive to women • Criticize conventional definition of family • Structure-functional view of families 3 Schools of Feminist Thought • 1. Liberal Feminists – are politically committed to social and legal reforms that will create equal opportunities for women • 2. Socialist Feminists – stress the “material” base of women’s subordination and the organization and exploitation of women’s work • 3. Radical Feminists – emphasize patriarchy as the focus of women’s oppression Feminist Perspectives: Critique of Structure-Functional View of Family • 1. Nuclear family and gender roles are not “natural” • 2. Too narrow a view of family • 3. Peoples experiences in families, households, and intimate relationships vary • 4. Families are not a separate form • 5. Women should not neglect own needs Biosocial Perspective on the Family • Theme: evolution has put in place certain biological endowments that shape and limit family choices • Key Concepts: evolutionary heritage; genes; inclusive fitness • Current Research: correlations between biological markers and family behavior; evolutionary explanations for gender differences and sexuality Biological Perspectives • Concepts linking psychosocial factors to physiology, genetics, and evolution • Humans evolutionary biology affects much of human behavior and many family related behaviors • Inclusive fitness • Certain human behaviors are both natural and difficult to change o Gender roles o Child abuse • Predisposition does NOT mean determined • Nature AND Nurture Biological Perspectives: criticisms • Justification of inequality and oppression • Deterministic interpretations of biological influence o Non reproductive partners o Working mothers o Stepfamilies and adoption Chapter 3 – Gender Identities 10/1/15 10:36 AM Gender and Sex • Sex – includes the chromosomal, hormonal, and anatomical components of males and females • Sex Role – is the behavior defined by biological constraints • Gender – refers to societal attitudes and behaviors associated with the two sexes • Gender Role – is the behavior expected of a female or male in particular culture • Socialization – the process by which people learn the characteristics of their group Gender Boundaries: Challenges • Between 1 and 4% of live births are intersexual o The child has anatomical, chromosomal, or hormonal variations form the male or female biology that is considered normal • Transsexuals are raised as one sex, while emotionally identifying with the other sex (switch sex physically with surgeries) • Transgendered describes an identity adopted by those who are uncomfortable in the gender of their birth (switch gender roles) Important Terms • Gender role stereotypes – what are they? o Women do the laundry, cook, clean, raise the children, passive, sensitive, emotional o Men are the breadwinners, do physical labor, independent, confident, aggressive • Gender identity – refers to the degree to which an individual sees herself or himself as feminine or masculine based on society’s definitions of gender roles Sexism • Discrimination towards people based on their sex rather than their individual merits • Can refer to subtly different beliefs or attitudes o The belief that one gender or sex is inferior to or more valuable than the other o The attitude of imposing a limited and/or false notion of masculinity on males and a limited and/or false notion of femininity on females, or vise versa o A feeling of distrust towards the opposite or same sex, most frequently operating at an unconscious level • Traditional Sexism – women’s roles should be confined to the family; women are not as fit as men for certain tasks or for leadership positions • Contemporary Sexism – denies gender discrimination exists; believes that women are asking for too much – a situation that results in resistance to women’s demands Gender Character Traits • Masculine: instrumental character traits, confidence, strength, assertiveness, and ambition, that enable them to accomplish tasks or goals • Feminine: expressive character traits; warmth, sensitivity, the ability to express tender feelings, and placing concern about others above self interest Cultural Messages: Masculinities • Men are expected to distance themselves from anything considered feminine • Occupationally and financially successful • Confident and self reliant • Adventure/violence/defeat • “Liberated” male (1980s) a new cultural message emerged that a man should be emotionally sensitive and expressive, valuing tenderness and equal relationships with women Cultural Messages: Feminities • Offer emotional support • Physically attractive, not too competitive • Good listener, and adaptable • Considered fortunate if she had a man in her life • Expected to be a good mother and put her family’s and children’s needs before her own New Cultural Models for Women • The professional woman – independent, ambitious, self confident • The superwoman – a good wife and/or mother attains career success and supports her children by herself • The satisfied single – a woman (heterosexual or lesbian, employed, possibly a parent) who is happy and not in a serious relationship with a male Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus? • Gender similarities versus gender differences? • The media often presents many differences in cognitive strengths, communication styles, moral reasoning, and personality traits • Are we really that different? Gender Similarities Hypothesis • Developed by Psychologist Janet Hyde, the hypothesis holds that males and females are similar on most psychological variables • Hyde found virtually no difference on most traits, a few moderate differences, and very few large differences • Hyde found evidence of gender differences in: o 1. Motor performance, especially in throwing distance and speed o 2. Sexuality, especially male’s greater incidence of masturbation and acceptance of casual sex o 3. Physical Aggressiveness Male Dominance • A situation in which males assume authority over the female • On the societal level, male dominance is the assignment to men of greater control and influence over society’s institutions • There are no known societies where women dominate men Male Dominance in Politics • Before 1992, there had never been more than two women among our 100 US senators • As of 2009 in the US congress there were 17 women in the Senate and 76 in the House of Representatives • Surveys report that 71% of the public say they would be willing to votes for a woman for president, but only 56% believe their family, friends, and coworkers are willing to do so Male Dominance in Religion • Most US congregations have more female than male participants, yet men hold more positions of authority • Women are prohibited from holding Catholic clerical or lay deacon positions • A majority of US Catholic laypeople and theologians believe the Catholic church should ordain women priests. The Vatican disagrees Gender and Education • Women have been the majority of college students since 1979 and now surpass men in the proportion of the total population that are college graduates • In 2007, women earned 57% of bachelors degrees, 60.5% of masters degrees, 50% of first professional degrees, and 50% of doctorates Male Dominance in the Economy • In 2008, women who were employed full time earned 80% of what men earned • Even in same occupational categories women earn less than men o In 2008, women CEOs earned 83,356$ versus male CEOs, who earned 103,948$ on average o Overall, the earnings gap between men and women narrowed in recent decades, but that gap is widening slightly again Biological Theories of Gender • In order to continue their genes, individuals maximize their own and their close kin’s reproduction • Men and women have different adaptive strategies and skills encode in the genes • Male and female brains differ due to greater amounts of testosterone secreted by a male fetus Theories of Socialization • Social Learning Theory o Children learn gender roles as they are taught by parents, schools, and the media • Self Identification Theory o Children categorize themselves by age 3. They then socialize themselves to fit that role from their environmental cues • Gender Schema Theory o Children develop a frame of knowledge about what girls and boys typically do • Chodorow’s Theory of Gender o Infants develop a “primary identification” with the person that cares fro them the most in their early years. They then either model or break form their primary caregiver Gender Roles • Children learn much about gender roles from their parents, whether they are taught consciously or unconsciously • Parents model roles and reinforce expectations of appropriate behavior Boys and Girls in the Family • Encouragement of gender typed interests and activities continues o Girls have more dolls, fictional characters, children’s furniture, and the color pink o Boys have more sports equipment, tools, toy vehicles, and the colors red, blue, and white o Fathers more than mothers enforce gender stereotypes, especially for sons. It is more acceptable, for example, for girls to be tomboys o Exploratory behavior is encourage more in boys than in girls o Household chores (number and kinds) adhere to gendered notions o However, this varies by race/ethnicity. For example, African American girls are raised to be more independent and less passive Social Influences on Gender Differences • Family/parenting • Friends • School/teachers Chapter 4 – Our Sexual Selves How We Learn About Sex • Parents o How parents feel o Hoe teenagers feel • Religion o Direct influence o Indirect influence • Friends and siblings • Sex education programs • Sexual partners o Sexual script – set of expectations as to how one should behave in sexual situations, whether male or female, heterosexual or homosexual o Men’s sexual scripts – men are suppose to be in charge, aggressive, purpose is orgasm not intimacy o Women’s sexual scripts – not suppose to talk about sex, focus more on feelings Sexual Orientation • Refers to whether an individual is drawn to a partner of the same sex or the opposite sex • Heterosexuals are attracted to opposite sex partners and homosexuals to same sex partners • Bisexuals are attracted to people of both sexes Asexual • Asexual may desire intimate relationships but not sexual ones • Some asexuals experience physical arousal, but feel no desire for partnered sexuality • In a 1994 study based on a national probability sample of British residents 18 to 59, 1.05% reported themselves to be asexual even though 44% were or had been married or cohabitating Theoretical Perspectives on Human Sexuality • Exchange perspective – satisfaction depends on the costs and rewards of a sexual relationships • Interactionist perspective – me and women are influenced by the sexual scripts they learn from society Early America: Patriarchal Sex • Sex was valued for procreative potential • Characterized by beliefs, values, attitudes and behaviors developed to protect the male line of descent • Men are thought to be born with an urgent sex drive, whole women are naturally passive Twentieth Century: Expressive Sexuality • Sexuality is basic to the humanness of both men and women • Women’s sexual expression is encouraged • Sex is not only for procreation but is a means for enhancing human intimacy 1960s: Sexual Revolution • Birth control pill became widely available • Laws regarding sexuality became more liberal • People’s attitudes and behavior regarding sex became radically more permissive • Significant change within marital sex The 1980s and 1990s: Challenges to Heterosexism • Americans are more likely to approve of civil rights protections for gays and lesbians • Public attitude toward homosexuality ahs become more favorable 21 Century: Risk, Caution, and Intimacy • More health risks in sexual encounters (HIV, AIDS, STDs) • Relationships between the sexes are more egalitarian • Emergence of sexting • Legalization of gay marriage Standards of Non-Marital Sex • 1. Abstinence o Intercourse outside of marriage is always wrong • 2. Permissiveness with Affection o Intercourse outside of marriage is permitted in stable, affectionate relationships • 3. Permissiveness without Affection o Intercourse is allowed regardless of the stability or affection in the relationship • 4. Double Standard o Women’s sexual behavior must be more conservative than men’s Sexual Values of College Students • David Knox (2001) studied 620 never married college undergraduates • Three sexual values which guide behavior in sexual decision making o 1. Absolutism – strict moral code o 2. Hedonism – if it feels good, do it o 3. Relativism – it depends Extramarital Affairs • Cultural differences • Values and beliefs • Frequency of extramarital affairs • Characteristics of affairs o Rational choice o String sex interest o Relationship dissatisfaction for women o Sexual dissatisfaction and infrequency for men o Opportunity o Gender differences • Cyber adultery - Facebook? • Emotional infidelity o Least disapproved • Sexual infidelity • Combined o Most disapproved Sexuality throughout Marriage • Young partners • Middle aged partners • Older partners Sexual Responsibility • Prevention of pregnancy • Prevention of sexual transmitted diseases • Communication with partners and potential sexual partners and being honest with their motives for wanting to have sex • Responsibility to oneself to make decisions according to ones own values Chapter 5 – Love and Choosing a Life Partner What is Love • “a strong emotional bond with another person that involves sexual desire, a longing to be with the person, a preference to put the other person’s interests ahead of ones own, and a willingness to forgive the other persons transgressions” • 1. A deep and vital emotion • 2. Satisfies legitimate personal needs • 3. Involves caring and acceptance Love and Commitment • Love is viewed as the primary reason for getting and staying married • Loving involves the acceptance of partners for themselves • Loving requires empathy and commitment • Commitment is characterized by a willingness to work through problems and conflicts as opposed to calling it quits when problems arises; it involves consciously investing in the relationship Commitment • Committed lovers have fun together; they also share tedious times • They express themselves freely • They do not see problems as indications that their relationship is over • They work to maintain their relationship • Commitment is “sticking together” rather than being “stuck” Six Love Styles • Eros o Characterized by intense emotional attachment and powerful sexual feelings or desires • Storge o An affectionate, companionate style of loving focused on deepening mutual commitment, respect, friendship, and common goals • Pragma (practical) o Involves rational assessment of a potential partner’s assets and liabilities o Social exchange kind of love • Agape o Emphasizes unselfish concern for the beloved’s needs even when that requires personal sacrifice • Ludus (player) o Emphasizes enjoying many sexual partners rather than searching for a serious relationship • Mania o Rests on strong sexual attraction and emotional intensity o It differs from eros in that manic partners are extremely jealous and moody, and their need for attention and affection is insatiable Triangle Theory of Love • Robert Sternberg • Three Components of Love o 1. Intimacy – close, connected feelings o 2. Passion – drives that lead to romance, physical, and sexual attraction o 3. Commitment – the decision to love someone and maintain that love • Three components develop at different times o Passion is the quickest to develop and quickest to fade o Intimacy develops more slowly o Commitment develops gradually • All three = consummate love What Kind of Relationship • High commitment and intimacy, low passion = friends • High intimacy and passion, low commitment = infatuation • High commitment and passion, low intimacy = couples who don’t know a lot about each other Three Things Love Is NOT • Martyring • Manipulating • Limerence Love Isn’t Martyring • Martyrs may… o Be reluctant to suggest what they want (along for the ride) o Allows others to be constantly late and never protest o Help loved ones develop talents while neglecting their own o Be sensitive to others feelings and hide their own Live Isn’t Manipulation • Manipulators may… o Ask others to do something that they could do o Assume that others will happily do whatever they choose o Be consistently late o Want other to help them develop their talents but seldom think of reciprocating Love Isn’t Limerence • People limerence fantasize about being with the limerent object in all kinds of situations • Limerence is characterized by little, if any concern for the well- being of the limerent object • Limerence can turn into genuine love, but more often than not, it doesn’t Emotional Interdependence • Therapist John Crosby distinguishes three types of dependence o A-frame (dependent) o H-frame (independent) o M-frame (interdependent) A-Frame Relationships • Symbolized by the capital letter A • Partners have a string couple identity but little sense of themselves as individuals • Like the long lines in the letter A, they lean on each other • The relationship is structured so that if one lets go, the other falls H-Frame Relationships • Partners stand virtually alone, each self-sufficient and neither influenced much by the other • There is little or no couple identity and little emotionality • If one lets go, the other hardly feels a thing M-Frame Relationships • Rest on interdependence • Each partner has an adequate sense of self, and partners experience loving as a deep emotion • The relationship involves mutual influence and emotional support Three Basic Styles of Attachment • Secure – trust that the relationship will provide necessary and ongoing support • Insecure/anxious – concern that the person will disappear, a “fear of abandonment” • Avoidant – evades relationships or establishes distance in intimate situations Four Stages of Love • Rapport – rests on mutual trust and respect • Self revelation – sharing intimate information • Mutual dependency – developing interdependence • Personality need fulfillment – developing emotional exchange and support 5 Love Languages • Words of Affirmation • Physical Touch • Acts of Service • Quality Time • Receiving Gifts Misconceptions that Limit Our Ability to Maintain Love • 1. Infatuation equals love; chemistry is all that matters • 2. If it isn’t perfect, it wasn’t meant to be • 3. You cant rekindle passion; once love dies, you can never get it back • 4. There is one true soul mate for everyone • 5. Love conquers all; of a relationship is tough, it means you have the wring partner • 6. Live is a static state; once you fall in love, you get one a high and stay there forever • 7. Love is a feeling, and you either have it or you don’t Infatuation is a Beginning • Many social scientists criticize the way that American culture tends to equate love with infatuation or chemistry • We need to move from infatuation to a deep connection Brain Chemistry: Dopamine • Dopamine, is a chemical naturally produced in our brains that acts upon pleasure center giving us powerful feelings of enjoyment • Is associated with new or novel pleasurable experiences and activities • Research shows that when people are newly in love, they tend to have higher brain levels of dopamine Brain Chemistry: Oxytocin • Some researchers have nicknamed oxytocin the “love” or “cuddle” hormone • Research in mammals has long demonstrated that oxytocin facilitates maternal, nurturing behaviors • Oxytocin seems to be related to human feelings of deep friendship, trust, sexuality, love, binding, and commitment ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Intimacy, Love, and Connection: Developing and Experiencing Affectionate Bonds What is the #1 predictor of how long and how well you will live? • The quality of your close personal relationships Three Essential needs • Brain systems have two settings – Responsive and Reactive • When each need is met, system defaults to responsive • Safety – avoid harm o “When I feel safe, responsive mode brings calm, peace.” • Satisfaction – approaches rewards o “When I feel satisfied, responsive mode brings gratitude, pleasure, contentment, accomplishment.” • Connection – attach to others o “When I feel connected, responsive mode brings belonging, love, compassion, kindness, worth.” Bids for Connection • Create connection between two people • Keep relationships moving in a positive direction • Individuals constantly make bids – for affection, attention, and help • How a partner responds to bids often separates happy from unhappy couples Examples of Bids • “Did you see all the movies Redbox has now?” o “Turning away” ! Ignoring the partners bid or continuing what he or she was doing o “Turning against” ! “Cant you see I’m busy right now” or “All you do is waste money on those dumb movies that you never return on time.” o “Turning Toward” ! “No, what movie did you want to get?” or “Should we rent one this weekend?” What is Intimacy? • In-to-me-you-see • True intimacy is developed over time as couples build trust and get to know each others thoughts and feelings at a personal level Intimacy Needs • Intimacy refers to o The reciprocity of trust between partners o Emotional closeness o Levels of self disclosure between partners ! Both partners are comfortable ! Can openly share their thoughts and feelings Need for affiliation o Need to have relationships • Need fulfillment o Drive for interpersonal relations o Fulfilling psychological needs • “Amae” – emotion or sense of longing, reflected in an attitude of trust that a specific other person will nurture and fulfill ones basic need for security and love 5 Psychological Needs • Intimacy o Drives us to share our innermost feelings with others • Social Integration o Needs that make us want to be part of a group • Nurture o Need to care and be cared fro (Amae) • Assistance o The need to assistance from others • Reassurance o Need to know we are wanted, needed, and loved Intimacy is Multi-contextual • Immediate context o The physical setting in which couples interact • Personal context o Personality traits, attitudes and beliefs about the relationship • Relational Context o Companionship, trust, level of commitment, needs for intimacy • Group context o Social network of family, friends, peers, neighbors • Sociocultural context o Norms, beliefs and ideals of the culture and subculture Emotional Attachment • Emotional attachment is characterized by feelings that promote a sense of closeness, boding, and connection • Three parts of intimacy o Disclosing things that are personal and private o Experiencing positive feelings about each other o Having interpersonal interactions that improve understandings of each other Love Maps (John Gottman) • The information you store about someone’s dreams, joys, fears, likes, and dislikes, etc. • Happy couples know about each others worlds and they regularly seek updates about each other 8 Components of Intimacy • 1. Conflict resolution (management): resolution of differences of opinion • 2. Affection: showing feelings of emotional closeness • 3. Cohesion: commitment to the relationship • 4. Sexuality: communicating and fulfilling sexual needs • 5. Identity: not losing individual identity to couple identity • 6. Compatibility: how partners relate to one another at work and play • 7. Expressiveness: sharing personal thoughts, beliefs, feelings • 8. Autonomy: independence and personal space Types of Intimates – Intimacy Status • 5 typologies according to attributes related to a persons capacity for intimacy – based on level of commitment and depth • 1. Intimate o Capable of experiencing closeness, forming an emotional attachment to another, committed to depth in a relationship • 2. Pseudo-Intimate o Appears to be intimate but lacks depth, never progress beyond friendship, relationships are doomed from the outset • 3. Pre-intimates o Capable of intimacy, but lack the ability to sustain long term relationships • 4. Stereotyped relationships o Has many casual relationships but these lack depth and commitment • 5. Isolates o Socially withdrawn with no need for close interpersonal relationships Adolescent/Young Adult Psychosocial Development • LOOK FOR LAST TWO SLIDES ON BLACKBOARD Test Information 10/1/15 10:36 AM Covers chapters 1-5; 30ish multiple choice, 10ish true false, 42 questions 40/40 Slides over racial and ethnic group patterns (chapter one slides) Chapter 6- Living Alone, Cohabiting, Same-Sex Unions, and Other Intimate Relationships Myths and Realities about Singles • Singles are self centered – False • Singles are financially better off – False • Singles are happier – False • Singles expect to be single for a long period of time – False • Singles have more free time – True • Singles have more fun – True • Singles tend to be more comfortable with other singles – True • Singles tend to be more lonely – True Types of Singles • A – Voluntary Temporary Singles " younger never married or divorced people who are postponing marriage or remarriage • B – Voluntary Stable Singles " singles who are satisfied to have never married or divorced people who don’t want to remarry • C – Involuntary Temporary Singles " singles who would like, and expect, to marry • D – Involuntary Stable Singles " older divorced, widowed, or never married people who want to get married, but have come to accept singlehood as possibly permanent Increasing Proportion of Unmarried/Singles • In 1970, less than 28% of US adults were single, today that number is about 47% • 112 million unmarried Americans (47%) • > 51 million households headed by unmarried Americans • Why the increase in singles? What factors are involved Various Living Arrangements • Living alone • Living with parents • Group or communal living • Gay and lesbian marriages • Cohabitation • Domestic partners • Living alone together Cohabitation • Has increased the past years • The less education, the more likely women are to cohabit Cohabitation and Family Life • Cohabitation: non-marrieds living together • One of the most important changes in family life in the past 50 years • ¾ women in the US have lived with a partner without being married by age 30 • In 2012, 7 million unmarried-partner households (639,000 same- sex households) • 75% of cohabitants are under age 45 • 5% are age 65 or older Cohabitating • On average, cohabiting relationships are relatively short term • Half last less than one year, because the couple either break up or marry • Cohabiting men with intentions to marry their partner do more housework than other cohabiting males Acceptance of Cohabitation • The percentage of high school seniors who believe that cohabitation prior to marriage is a good idea has increased fairly steadily between 1975 and 2008 (from approximately 35% to approximately 69% for boys and 63% for girls) • This increase reflects a national trend in which Americans have become more accepting of nontraditional household and family structures Who Cohabits? • On AVERAGE, compared to daters with plans to marry, those cohabiting with plans to marry… o Are older o Have less education o Are more likely to already have children o Have had more sexual partners o Are more likely to have divorced parents o Experienced more conflict in their families growing up o Have more favorable attitudes toward divorce and less favorable attitudes toward marriage o Are less religious o Are less traditional Religiousness and Cohabitation • “My religious beliefs suggest that it is wrong for people to live together without being married” o 49% of those dating agree (35% strongly) o 30% of those cohabitating agree (16% strongly) Sliding vs. Deciding • Inertia and accumulating constraints: o Sharing debt, having a lease, major purchases, child together • While commitment requires decision, couples tend to slide into cohabitation How Does it Begin • 1/3 – “We didn’t think about it or plan it. We slid into it” • 1/3 – “We talked about it, but then it just sort of happened” • 1/3 – “We talked about it, planned it, and then made a decision to together to do it” When does it Being • Among those cohabiting o 66% started cohabitation before plans o 23% started cohabitation with plans, but no engagement o 11% started cohabitation with engagement • People who were already engaged are more likely to have made a decision about cohabiting Risk involved in types of Cohabiting • Lower Risk o Deciding – talking about it and making a decision o Plan marriage or be married before cohabiting • Higher Risk o No mutual marriage plan before starting to cohabit o Sliding – just sort of happened Reasons for increasing numbers of unmarried/single individuals • Growing proportion of widowed elderly • Changes in economy • Improved contraception/technological changes • Sex ratio (more women than men now) • Changes in attitudes toward sex, cohabitation, marriage and singlehood • More socially acceptable (historically being single was undesirable) • Educational/career goals • High divorce rate Gender and Reasons • Men were more likely than partners to endorse: o 1. Testing as a reason for living together o 2. Feeling trapped in their relationships o 3. That they moved in with their partners (rather than marrying) because they didn’t want to break-up, but also couldn’t see a long term future together Why live together? • I wanted to spend more time with my partner • It was inconvenient to live apart • I wanted us to take a step up in commitment • We had a child to raise together • I wanted is to test out our relationship before marriage • I don’t believe in the institution of marriage So what? • What happens to them after 3 years? o 33% still together (stable cohabiters) o 27% broke up o 40% married (over time this number is going down) • Half last less than one year, because the couple either breaks up or marries Children and Cohabitation • 38% of cohabiting heterosexual households have children under the age of 18 • Approximately 40% of children in the US will at some point live in a cohabiting household (prior to age 16) • Among those children that were born to married parents about 11% break up within three years compared to over 30% who are born to cohabiting parents (by age 3) “The Cohabitation Effect” • Those who live together prior to marriage are generally at greater risk for marital break up and lower marital quality o (couples who cohabit premarital are 1.26-1.86 times more likely to divorce) • Goes against the logic of couples decisions: o “The number one thing that young people seem to believe most is going to help them with their anxieties about the odds of marriage failing is to live together first. Yet no study has actually shown a lower risk to living together before marriage and most all studies in this area show associated high risk” – Scott Stanley Cohabitation Effects (it depends) • Premarital cohabitation is associated with o Lower marital satisfaction o Poorer perceived and observed communication in marriage o More marital conflict/more negative interactions o Lower levels of self-esteem/more depression o Fewer positive interactions o Higher marital instability (divorce) o Higher rates of domestic violence/more aggressive interactions o Higher rates of infidelity Casual? Or Selection effects? • Does the experience of cohabiting cause a couple to experience a greater risk in some way? • OR, do those who cohabit already have differences that exist that make them different than people who do not cohabit prior to marriage? Latest Research • Even after controlling for selection effects, many studies still find a quasi-casual effect • The more people live together (duration or with more partners): Erodes the values, attitudes, and beliefs that o Marriage is special o Raising children is a valuable thing to do • These eroded values are related to a lower likelihood of marital success Explaining the Cohabitation Effect • 1. Its about the people who cohabit – education example: 70% of women w/o HS diploma lived with partner as first union; 47% of women with BS degree • 2. Its about the experience of cohabitation changing values about marriage • 3. Its about cohabitation creating inertia that makes it harder to break up Inertia • Cohabitation may make it harder to b
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