Final information for COMM 3200
Final information for COMM 3200 COMM 3200
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verified elite notetaker
This 11 page Study Guide was uploaded by Christine Notetaker on Thursday April 28, 2016. The Study Guide belongs to COMM 3200 at University of Connecticut taught by Amanda Denes in Spring 2016. Since its upload, it has received 15 views.
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Date Created: 04/28/16
Interpersonal Communication Exam 3 Review What is a relational transgression? A hurtful message? Devaluation? Occurs when people violate implicit and explicit relational rules Devaluation—feeling unappreciated and unimportant Hurtful messages—psychological pain; based on perceptions Know the types of infidelity Sexual—sexual activity with someone other than one’s long term partner Emotional—emotional involvement with another person o Getting love and attention from someone else Communicative—engage in sexual activity with a 3 party to communicate a message to ones partner o Can send messages of jealousy or revenge Why do people cheat? Dissatisfaction in the current relationship Boredom or a need for excitement Wanting to feel attractive or increase one’s self esteem Sexual incompatibility with one’s partner Trying to get some sort of revenge after getting angry or jealous What are the cues/signs of the different types of infidelity? Sexual infidelity o Indirect physical signs o Direct revelations o Changed in sexual behavior o Exaggerated affection o Sexual disinterest Emotional o Relationship dissatisfaction o Emotional disengagement o Passive rejection o Negative communication o Reluctance to spend time together o Reluctance to talk about a certain person o Guilty communication Signs of both types o Apathetic communication rd o Increased contact with the 3 party Know what the evolutionary hypothesis says about men and women and sexual vs. emotional infidelity Men should get more upset over sexual infidelity because of issues of parental investment Women should get more upset over emotional infidelity because worry about protecting their most valuable resource; the relationship Know the different types of jealousy Romantic—losing the partners to another romantic person Sexual—someone wants to have sex with your partner Friend—get jealous at someone having a closer friendship with your friend or romantic partner who spends more time with their friends Family—romantic partner closer to family Activity—jealous at the hobby that your partner has Power—something has power and influence over your partner Intimacy—jealous when they have more social support than you What are the types of communicative responses to jealousy? Constructive o Integrative communication o Compensatory communication Destructive o Negative communication o Violent communication o Counter jealousy induction Avoidant o Denial o Silence Rival focused o Signs of possession o Derogating competitors o Surveillance o Rival contacts What is deception? Intentionally managing verbal or nonverbal messages so that a receiver will believe or understand something in a way that the sender know is false What are the types of deception? (i.e., concealment, exaggeration, lying, equivocation, and understatement) Lies o Falsification or fabrication o Making up information or giving information that is opposite from the truth Equivocation o Making an indirect, ambiguous or contradictory statement Concealment o Omission o Omitting information one knows is important or relevant to a given context Exaggeration o Overstatement o Stretching the truth Understatement o Minimization o Down playing aspects of the truth What are the motives for deception? Partner focused—avoid telling someone the truth because we don’t want to hurt them Selffocused—“I’m saving my own ass” Relationship focused Know the difference between rivalry, envy and jealousy Jealousy—occurs when people worry they might lose something they love Envy—occurs when people want something valuable that someone else has Rivalry—occurs when two people are competing for something that neither one of them has Know types of responses to hurtful messages Know the characteristics of the relational forgiveness process Know types of forgiving communication (i.e., explicit forgiveness, nonverbal display, minimization, discussion, conditional forgiveness) Forgiveness—acknowledgement of harmful conduct extension of underserved mercy, emotional transformation, relationship renegotiation Forgiveness communication o Explicit forgiveness o Nonverbal display o Minimization o Discussion o Conditional forgiveness Conditions of forgiveness o Seriousness of the transgression o Quality of the relationship What are the types of remedial strategies? Know the definition of conflict An expressed struggle that occurs when two interdependent people cannot agree on a way to meet their needs or goals Know the conflict styles and their characteristics Non Assertive Approaches o Avoidance Lose/lose Low concern for self and other Indirect communication and moderately cooperative People physically or psychologically remove themselves from conflict, refrain from arguing and refuse to confront partner in a meaningful way Inappropriate and ineffective o Accommodation (yielding) Winlose (the other person wins and you lose Low concern for self and a high concern for others Cooperative and indirect Obliging Passively accepting decision partner makes Sometimes appropriate, generally ineffective Only works when you are not interested in the topic or can’t agree but need to make decision Tend to sacrifice own needs and wants Can be result of chilling effect Aggressive Approach o Competition/competing Winlost (you win in this situation) High concern for self and a low concern for others Uncooperative and direct Confrontational remarks, accusations, personal criticisms, threats Assert that they have more power Generally inappropriate and ineffective Effective when power differential exists Somewhat useful wen immediate compliance is needed Carefully and selectively used o Indirect Fighting Win/loselose Passive aggressive High concern for self and low concern for other Uncooperative and indirect Failing to acknowledge or validate the partner’s concerns, ignoring partner, holding grudge dirty looks, leaving, rolling eyes and silent treatment Express aggression in indirect way Generally less appropriate and less effective than cooperative Assertive Approaches—focuses on both needs o Compromise Losewin or winlose Concern for self and other Direct communication and moderately cooperative Searching for fair, intermediate position Both sacrifice; trade offs Moderately appropriate and effective Can hamper development of creative strategy Need to compromise to be fair to both o Collaboration Gold standard Win win High concern for self and other Direct and cooperative Supportive, accepting responsibility, soliciting partner’s ideas Both partners meet goals Assertive style in which there are open lines of communication and focus on needs of all parties Stay open minded and look for merit in other’s opinions and suggestions Effective and appropriate Takes 2; only possible when time and energy is there Example: Derek and Meredith in the bar wanting to start over Know the patterns of conflict interaction (i.e., negative reciprocity, common couple violence, demand withdrawal) Negative reciprocity o Aggression begets more aggression Demandwithdrawal patterns o One becomes the demander and the other is able to handle the demands and begin to withdrawal o Get people into a routine What are gunnysacking and kitchen sinking? o Gunnysacking sticking to the topic that is being discussed o Kitchen sinking don’t bring up the past Know the four horsemen of the apocalypse Criticism o An attack on a person’s character or personality Defensiveness o Not addressing the issue by Countercriticizing Denying blame or playing the victim Stonewalling o When one partner tries to talk about difficult issues, the other calms up Contempt o An escalated form of criticism intended to insult demean or hurt the other Know the fallacies in logic (both the ones that cause an emotional reaction and the ones that result from emotions) The effects of emotion and conflict o Physiology increased heart rate, dilated pupils, sweating o Cognitive interpretations Attributions Logic: Fallacies in thinking Fallacies that may cause emotional reactions: o Perfection o Approval o Should o Overgeneralization Fallacies that may result from emotional reactions: o Causation o Helplessness o Catastrophic expectations Once you step away o Get a clear understanding of what your real feelings are Assess your own insecurities and issues Are you making unfair and untrue assumptions? o Consider writing down your thoughts or talking to someone else Decide on what needs of yours are not getting met and plan a way to articulate them Once they being o Recognize when emotions were heightened Notice physiological reactions o Ask your partner’s permission to go away from the conflict Be specific about when you plan to readdress it Make sure you agree on a mutually acceptable time and place to reconvene Once you reconvene o “Come in peace” o establish a positive emotional climate before you readdress the conflict humor, touch or other positive nonverbal behaviors apply collaboration o decide together to attack the issue instead of each other explain each person’s perspective on how the conflict arose what each person’s needs are what the ideal outcome would be for both people What are the four conflict myths? Conflict can always be avoided Conflict always arises from misunderstanding Conflict can always be resolved Conflict is a sign of a troubles interpersonal relationship What are the types of conflict? (i.e., pseudo, simple, ego) Pseudo—once information becomes clear you realize there is no conflict Simple conflict—based on real differences Ego conflict—the goal is to win; to be superior; more knowledgeable, funnier etc o You want to one up people What are the stages of conflict? Latent content Conflict emergence Conflict escalation Hurting/stalemate Deescalation/negotiation Dispute settlement Postconflict/peace bonding Know Gottman’s ratios of positive to negative behaviors for stable/satisfied, happy, and unstable/unhappy couples (see video from class: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xw9SE315GtA) For everyone negative thing you need to do 5 positive things to make up for it Know communication skill deficits Some people simply do not know how to have constructive conflict Argumentativeness refers to a style that focuses on logical argument and reason (good) o Backing it with claims and evidence; taking a position on controversial issues; recognizing issues of disagreement o Attack position NOT person Verbal aggressiveness involves attacking the other person’s self concept often with the intention of hurting the person (bad) Relationship Dissolution Know types of breakups (i.e., unilateral, bilateral, direct, indirect and the combinations they make) Bilateral dissolutions o Both parties are predisposed to ending the relationship and simply need to go over the details Unilateral dissolutions o Only one person desires the breakup o Being dumped o One person is out and the other person is committed to the relationship Breakup combinations o Indirect, Unilateral Avoidance In long term relationships does not work Withdrawal Similar to avoidance but you are taking away all the positive communication Sending the message that you do not value the relationship any more Pseudo deescalation Pretend to “go on a break” or telling them to “let’s slow down” When what you really want to do is break up Almost like avoidance in Knapp’s Model Cost escalation Make the relationship so terrible to be in that they break up with you How to lose a guy in 10 days o Direct, unilateral Fait acompli/direct dump One person saying to the other open and honestly that they do not want to be with you anymore Justification Friends episode when Ross and Rachel break up Discuss the problems o Why are we not a good match? o Which then bring you to the conclusion that you are not a good match together There is a conversation about the breakup o Direct, Bilateral Attributional conflict/blame game Both people want the relationship to end and they are having a conversation as to why it is ending Blaming each other and trying to find the real reason why it should be ending It can be good, and it can help with closure Negotiated farewell Both people divide up their possession and say their “goodbyes” Greece Can be hard if you have already integrated with your social network o Indirect, bilateral Fading away Both people gradually drift apart Sex in the City Example Carrie breaking up with Burger What is “sudden death”? o Sudden death There is just one big event Cheating, physical abuse Know the stages of Knapp’s Relational Deescalation Model Differentiation Circumscribing Stagnating Avoiding Terminating Know Duck’s Phase Model Intrapsychic Phase Dyadic Phase Social phase Grave Dressing Resurrection What is catastrophe theory/the catastrophe model? Catastrophe Model o Characterized by sudden death Cheating One incident that happens that immediately ends the relationship o Critical incident occurs o Explains rapid relational disengagement Who is most likely to initiate a breakup? Rewards and Costs in Relationships Know the definition of comparison level and comparison level for alternatives Comparison level—expectation of the kinds of outcomes a person believes he/she should receive in a relationship Alternatives—what a person perceives he/she ahs outside of the relationship (dependency) CL (comparison level)Alt Know the combinations of level of quality and alternatives (i.e., dissatisfied/committed; dissatisfied/uncommitted; satisfied/committed; satisfied/uncommitted) Combination—create four different types of relationships Satisfied committed o Comparison level is being met o And committed because there are no other alternatives Satisfied uncommitted o Comparison level is met o They feel like there are a few other people who can give them what they need Dissatisfied committed o Comparison level is not met o But there are no other alternatives and no one else who would be better Dissatisfied uncommitted o Comparison level is not met o Feel that there are a few other people who can give them what they need Know the types of costs and rewards according to Interdependence Theory Rewards a. Exchanged resources that are pleasurable and gratifying Costs a. Exchanged resources that resort in a loss or a punishment i. Conflict ii. Emotions iii. Money iv. Time v. Energy Rewards and Costs a. Four categories i. Emotional 1. Feeling positive or negative emotions a. Love b. Angry c. Sad d. Jealous ii. Social 1. Related to appearance and social interactions 2. Cost: takes us away from other people 3. Rewards: get to be part of the cool group iii. Instrumental 1. More practical 2. Activities 3. Tasks 4. “living with parents because they do the laundry” 5. homework help, who does the work in a group project iv. Opportunity 1. The things you get from the relationship that you will not get from the relationship if you break up Know the kinds of investments according to the Investment Model Extension of interdependence theory and social exchange CLAlt(Comparison levelalternatives), relational satisfaction and investment size affect commitment Commitment tells whether people stay together or break up Not just about the equitable relationship, it is about can I find something better somewhere else Original investment model a. Relational satisfaction is product of choices both people make b. Investments are “resources that become attached to a relationship and would decline in value or be lost if the relationship ends” c. Investments can be i. Intrinsic—those put directly in the relationship 1. Time 2. Effort 3. disclosure ii. extrinsic—resources developed over time 1. material possessions 2. social system enmeshment 3. identity Know the relationshipmaintaining behaviors according to the Investment Model Know how underbenefited and overbenefited issues work and the “math” behind them (for example, given the Ratios of benefits vs. costs, you should be able to figure out if someone is over or under benefited) Katie receives 25 benefits to every 5 contributions Christian has 50:10 Likely to be happy Each receive 5 benefits for each contribution John has a 60:20 ratio Sarah has a 40:10 ratio John only receives 3 benefits while Sarah receives 4 John is under benefitted, but not by much Know responses to dissatisfying events Know the strategies for restoring equity Communication Climate What is listening vs. hearing? Hearing is the passive physiological function of receiving sound What are the listening styles/types of listeners? People oriented o Focuses on the feelings, emotions and perspectives of others o Search for commonalities between themselves and those that they communicate with Action Oriented o Focus is on to the point, organized and accurate information o Big ideas, not the details Content oriented o Focuses on facts, intricate details and evidence within a message o May seem argumentative due to the use of small details as evidence to prove what they perceive to be inaccuracies Time oriented o Prefers efficiency and brevity on communication o Love bullet pointed information Know the listening process Select (choose) Attend (Focus) Understand (assign Meaning) Respond (confirm understanding) Know the types of responses We tend to advise…there are other better options: o Analysis—can an outside analysis be comforting or insightful? o Question—do you need more information? o Support—is the person seeking support? o Paraphrase—summarize key ideas verbally; check message; include content and relational components Before you advise, ask if the other wants advice Avoid disconfirming responses o Impervious o Irrelevant o Interrupting o Impersonal Focus on confirming response o Acknowledgement o Support o Endorsement What are the barriers to listening? Conversational narcissism Emotional noise Criticizing the speaker Speechthought differential Information overload
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