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Human Bonding Final Study Guide-New Lecture Material

by: Ashley Notetaker

Human Bonding Final Study Guide-New Lecture Material HD 3620

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Ashley Notetaker

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-Study Guide Part 1 -Answers study guide questions for material covered after Prelim 2
Human Bonding
Cynthia Hazan
Study Guide
Bonding, HD3620, final, study, guide, Breakups, divorce, jealousy, attachment, pain, mating, Patterns
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This 11 page Study Guide was uploaded by Ashley Notetaker on Wednesday May 18, 2016. The Study Guide belongs to HD 3620 at Cornell University taught by Cynthia Hazan in Spring 2016. Since its upload, it has received 10 views. For similar materials see Human Bonding in Human Development at Cornell University.

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Date Created: 05/18/16
April 21 What are the indicators of a species’ mating pattern (from monogamous to promiscuous) and based on the evidence how would humans be categorized on each of the indicators? • OS Penis o Also, penile bone o Indicator of PROMISCUOUS mating pattern o Humans don’t have penile bone; thus, evidence of MONOGAMOUS MATING PATTERN § Need to be sexually aroused to have an interaction § Oxytocin releases, causing bonding to form • Testes Size o The LARGER the testes, the more PROMISCUOUS the species § Why? SPERM COMPETITION • More sperm is produced when you sleep separately from partner o Humans have MEDIUM-SIZED testes; thus, it’s AMBIGUOUS whether the mating pattern is monogamous or promiscuous • C/overt ovulation o COVERT in MONOGAMOUS species; OVERT in PROMISCUOUS species § Ex. of promiscuous species = BABOONS o Humans are TRADITIONALLY THOUGHT OF AS COVERT § However, what about olfactory and vocal cues? Changes in behavior, attractions, color of clothes, increase of tips for waitresses, women’s tendency to wear red, etc. • Thus, we now consider humans to be AMBIGUOUS in this sense • Sex for fun o Humans absolutely do this o Evidence of MONOGAMOUS MATING PATTERN b/c it PROMOTES PAIR BONDING o Fun fact: humans have strangest sex life § Sex during luteal phase, pregnancy, and even post-menopause! § Also, sex is in private! § Bonobos also do this stuff • Sexual behavior o AMBIGUOUS in humans § People can be monogamous, but also can not be monogamous • Ex. extramarital affairs o More likely for men, more likely between ages of 40-70 (in men); in women, most likely between ages of 30-50 o Dependent on culture and other variables (see unit on infidelity for more info) • Sexual dimorphism o There is dimorphism in humans, but it’s not as pronounced as in other species (men tend to weigh on average 30 lb more than women); thus, is AMBIGUOUS § That said, still, dimorphism occurs during puberty (secondary sex characteristics) • Paternal care o Humans do this; sign of MONOGAMOUS mating pattern • Separation distress o Humans do this; also sign of MONOGAMOUS mating pattern • CONCLUSIONS: o Humans = SOCIALLY MONOGAMOUS o SEXUAL MONOGAMY VARIES as a function of age, gender, societal norms, etc. Infidelity: What is the most common cause of relationship infidelity, and what factors make it more likely to occur? How do social norms, investment, and evolutionary perspectives factor in? • Most common cause: “SITUATIONAL” Infidelity o Occurs when a person is not unhappy, or looking—just is OPPORTUNISTIC! o Triggered by emotional factors, such as: § Novelty § Arousal § Alcohol o Men are more likely to act on this than women o Other types of infidelity: § “ARRANGEMENT” • Occurs when an affair COMPLEMENTS a primary relationship • Men are more likely than women to do this § “ROMANTIC” • Occurs when there’s DISSATISFACTION with life vs. relationship • APPEAL OF ROMANTIC INFATUATION • Goal: to FEEL BETTER • Men are more likely than women to do this • How social norms, investment, and evolutionary perspectives factor in: o Norms: § You’re more likely to cheat if others in your social network do § WOMEN ARE MORE HARSHLY PUNISHED; thus, men are more likely to cheat o Investment: § Since the primary force of relationships is commitment, THE MORE INVESTED you are, the LESS LIKELY you are to cheat o Evolution: § MEN SHOULD BE MORE LIKELY § But when women do, they’re more likely to… • When in FOLLICULAR phase • When primary partner has SIMILAR MHC • When able to “CHEAT UP” in status / sperm count or gene quality April 26 How do the three basic adult attachment styles differ at the levels of affect, behavior, and cognition (the ABCs)? • The ABCs are: o AFFECT = how does this make me FEEL? o BEHAVIOR = what should I DO? o COGNITION = what can I EXPECT OTHERS to? • SECURE o Low anxiety and low avoidance § Affect: They feel secure § Behavior: They feel secure in what actions they should take (Commit) § Cognition: They feel secure that others will take necessary actions (Commit) • AVOIDANT o Low anxiety and high avoidance § Affect: They feel somewhat insecure (Don’t feel good) § Behavior: They’d prefer to run away than have to deal with conflict (Don’t commit) § Cognition: Don’t expect support • AMBIVALENT o Low avoidance and high anxiety § Affect: They feel good § Behavior: They’re really anxious about everything (not sure if they can commit) § Cognition: They think partner will leave / are very anxious about partner potentially leaving (not sure if they can expect support / if partner will commit) The essence (ABC’s) of each style: Cognition Can I expect others to…? Can I count on people Secure - Yes Insecure - No Avoidant - nope Ambivalent - not sure Affect How does this make me feel? Secure - If you believe that someone has go your back and someone is there for you if you run into problems, then the feeling is one of security and comfort and contentment, and usually an interest in going out and doing other things. Insecure - Fear, anxiety, anger, rejection - a combination of negative emotions. Avoidant - feel terrible Ambivalent - feel generally okay Behavior What then should I do? Secure - If I need someone, I turn to them. It’s a no brainer! Insecure - Ambivalent and Avoidant are separated by this behavioral choice. Ambivalent - They amp up the signal that they are distressed, they cling, they make demands, express a lot of anger and demands. Avoidant - Make the decision during times of distress to distance oneself. “I’m feeling bad, and I need support, but I know how it is going to turn out, so I’m just going to pull back.” Summary of all that: Intimacy and commitment are two major factors in determining whether a couple will remain together beyond the infatuation phase. How do insecure attachment styles (i.e., ambivalent and avoidant) affect intimacy and commitment? • Ambivalent: o Way more anxious about keeping in contact / very anxious about commitment § Also, more skeptical that partner will be able to keep commitment § Will disclose stuff way too early and way too much • Scare partner off § Thus, will put stress on relationship • Avoidant: o Way more likely to run away from problems o See: REJECTION SENSITIVITY § Rejection sensitive people will… • Have increased AVOIDANCE and LONELINESS • Display AGGRESSION towards peers • Have increased DEPRESSION-LIKE SYMPTOMS post-breakup (in women) • Have increased DEPRESSION-LIKE SYMPTOMS after social- status related problem, or feeling devalued by peers (in men) • Increased chance of VIOLENCE AGAINST PARTNER (in men) § Way MORE NERVOUS § Way more likely to expect the situation to END NEGATIVELY • Summary of all that: • What is the evidence that social pain (e.g., being rejected or excluded) is similar to physical pain? • Activates SIMILAR BRAIN AREAS o Evidence: brain scans of people looking at photo of ex while thinking about how you broke up are v similar to those of people who received thermal stimulation to the forearm • Similar PHYSICAL RESPONSES o Screaming and crying • Same NEUROENDOCRINE SYSTEMS involved • TYLENOL STUDY (DeWall et al., 2010) o People were given Tylenol vs. placebo 2x a day for 3 weeks § Study 1: diary reports of “hurt feelings” § Study 2: feelings after exclusion situation o RESULTS: TYLENOL GROUPS EXPERIENCED LESS SOCIAL EXCLUSION PAIN • COLDNESS STUDY (Zhong and Leonardelli, 2008) o Experiment 1: recall a social exclusion or inclusion experience § EXCLUDED people perceived the room to be COLDER o Experiment 2: experienced a social exclusion or inclusion experience § EXCLUDED people desired WARMER FOOD / DRINKS In theory, why it is that people tend to hurt the ones whom they love the most? • Interact MORE OFTEN • Defense of “UNFAMILIARITY” (“if the other person only knew me better”) • Close others know more SORE SPOTS • Implications of LOSING THEM are more SERIOUS • The CLOSER you are, the STRONGER your FEELINGS will be April 28 What is the Sexual Strategies Theory (SST) perspective on jealousy, and especially male- female differences in what triggers jealousy? Also, how does switching from a forced choice to a 1-7 rating affect responses? • SST Perspective: o There’s sex differences in COST of infidelity—which means there’s also sex differences in JEALOUSY predictions • Men more likely to experience jealousy over SEX; women more likely to experience jealousy over EMOTIONAL cheating / LOVE cheating o This is because for males, cheating → PATERNITY UNCERTAINTY; wehreas for females, cheating → LOSS OF PARTNER RESOURCES if partner engages in emotional attachment • Forced choice on a scale: o Sex differences disappear o Shows: jealousy is a just a psychological mechanism (that jealousy is indicative of you feeling that you’re going to lose a meaningful relationship/bond with someone or that the relationship is in jeopardy) Jealousy is a primary motivator for spousal homicide, especially uxoricide. What are the findings concerning restrictions on victims’ freedom, victims’ age, victims’ relationship to perpetrator, and the timing of uxoricide relative to victims ending their relationships? • Homicide between people who co-reside is most likely to affect the spouse, rather than the child, parent, or other relative • Killing one’s wife (uxoricide) is much more likely when they are newly-separated than when they co-reside • As a function of age: women are most likely to get killed in their reproductive years o Greatest at 16-19 • More murders occur closer to the end of the relationship; rate decreases afterwards What are three common characteristics of breakups in relationships that have survived beyond the initial infatuation phase? • UNILATERAL (rarely mutual) • UNFOLDS OVER TIME for the initiator (rarely sudden) • POTENTIAL ALTERNATIVE(S) have been identified (rarely without backup plan) What are the stages in the so-called “uncoupling process?” And especially, how is each stage experienced differently by the initiator and the partner? • Stage 1: PRIVATE DOUBTS o Normal fluctuations in personal commitment o Anxiety provoking o Doubts in the mind of the initator” • Stage 2: INDIRECT EXPRESSIONS o Doubts continue o Unhappiness is expressed o Partner’s perspective: § Initiator complaints are about trivial matters and the partner ignores them because they are trivial and because they are no longer monitoring as closely as they were in infatuation • Stage 3: TURNING OUTWARD o People start seeking satisfaction externally because they aren’t happy in the relationship § Ex. New friends, new hobby, new course, new diet o Self-improvement is always good but § Reduced couple similarity § Increased propinquity with potential new partners • Stage 4: RE-WRITING HISTORY o The opposite of romantic idealization! • Stage 5: PUBLIC EXPRESSION o Usually starts with telling one person o Or disrespecting the partner in public o Often the point of no return o Making something public—making it real outside of yourselves • Stage 6: EXPLORING SINGLE LIFE o Spending more time with single friends o Heightened interest in breakup accounts o Excuses for not wearing the ring o Reluctance to make future plans • Stage 7: TAKING ACTION o Still haven’t said that they’re thinking of breaking up o Not direct—suspicious action o Do something aimed at provoking the partner to break up with them o Partner finally aware of what is happening o Plans for partner’s care post-breakup • Stage 8: “TRYING” o Partners goal repair relationship o Initiators goal—convince partner it’s over • Stage 9: SEPARATING o Determined to end the relationship o gives partner false hope o I just want to take a break o Want some space o Time to think May 3 What are the characteristics of conflict resolution that Gottman found to predict divorce with over 90% accuracy? What is it about the so-called “four horsemen” that makes them so destructive to relationships? • “Four Horsemen” o CRITICISM § Global vs. specific complaint o DEFENSIVENESS § Vs. accepting responsibility o CONTEMPT § Vs. respectful complaint o STONEWALLING § Vs. taking a mutual break § Men tend to withdraw first • These qualities are destructive because: o If these behaviors are present, it’s likely they will break up o They go against everything that forms an attachment bond o They all fight vulnerability, understanding, and communication o Closed off, lack of communication, combativeness o Not healthy and supportive environment—you wouldn’t want to take care of them Gottman observed that even well-functioning couples sometimes get into the negative cycle of conflict resolution, but they are skilled at interrupting the cycle. What are the three strategies they use for reducing conflict? • VALIDATION • AFFECTION • HUMOR (but be careful!) One of Gottman’s former students, Markman, developed an intervention program based on the four horsemen. What study method was used to test the program and what were the results? • Called PREP • Engaged and newlywed couples • Explained financial stuff (and other couple-logistical stuff) to half, and four horsemen and how to combat them to the other half o Experimental group had half the typical divorce rate In contrast to conflict research, Fincham and others have emphasized positive interactions. What study method was used and what were the findings? (Hint: “magical” ratio) • 5:1 ratio—takes 5 positive interactions to negate one negative interaction o 10:1 is IDEAL • Study METHOD: o Emphasis on POSITIVE INTERACTIONS May 5 Researchers have identified specific periods in a relationship when breakup (including divorce) is more likely than at other periods. What is the significance of 2 years (+/- 6 months), four years, seven years, and 14 years? • They’re the “most crucial” periods in which you’re most likely to break up • 2 years +/- 6 months = when INFATUATION WEARS OFF o Attachment bonds either have or haven’t formed o Peak in breakups • Four years = modal divorce o Reproductive cycle is the main force keeping you together • First 7 years = median divorce (EARLY DIVORCING) o Predicted by NEGATIVE AFFECT during conflict • 14 years (after birth of first child, typically) = LATE DIVORCING o Predicted by LACK OF POSITIVE AFFECT during conflict and day-to-day interactions o Offspring-related: kids are now grown up, no need to stay together in order to raise the kids because they’re raised What is the inherent dilemma of pair bonds? • You want to be secure but also sexually satisfied by the same person • The dilemma is that sexual arousal doesn’t last forever but security and attachment do Relationship scientists have documented three effective ways of preventing the normative decline in relationship satisfaction. Be familiar with the methods and findings of each. • Pursing PHYSIOLOGICALLY AROUSING activities together o Aron et al. 2000 § METHODS: • Used a questionnaire and survey to find correlations btwn sharing “exciting” activities and relationship satisfaction o Partook in a 7-min novel and arousing (vs. monotonous and mundane) task; compared effects • Idealizing the REAL instead of the ideal o Murray et. al. 2011 § METHODS: • Did longitudinal study and tracked unrealistic idealization at the point of marriage to changes in satisfaction over the first 3 years of marriage • Found satisfaction declined markedly, consistent with past research • Taking a (well-wishing) OUTSIDER’S PERSPECTIVE on conflicts o Finkel et. al. 2013 § METHODS: • 120 couples wrote about their worst argument in the last 4 months for a year. In the second year, 60 couples continued that, and 60 were also asked to write a commentary about the argument from an objective outsider’s perspective o For year 1, relationship satisfaction declined; for year 2, for the 60 who did the additional task, relationship satisfaction didn’t decline May 10 When it comes to factors like whether one is legally married (or not), whether one has a romantic partner (or not), whether the relationship is satisfying (or not), whether one has social support (or not)... what is the “bottom line?” That is, what does it take to prevent loneliness? • BOTTOM LINE: You only need ONE PERSON who is supportive! Who you trust enough to be vulnerable with! o In adulthood, that’s typically a mate / romantic partner—but it doesn’t have to be! What are the effects of loneliness on overall stress levels, the stressfulness of specific events, the likelihood of seeking support, and the degree of comfort derived from support? • Loneliness makes EVERYTHING WORSE! • Stress levels get HIGHER • Stressfulness of specific events also gets HIGHER • Likelihood of seeking support is LOWER • And degree of comfort derived from support is LOWER In general, what are the effects of loneliness on the immune system and sleep quality? What are other physical health correlates of loneliness? • Worsens the immune system as well as sleep quality • Also has links to obesity and Alzheimer’s


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