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Exam 3

by: AliciaAXO
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Notes are directly from the book and the lectures
Intro to Interpersonal Communication
Dr. Kelly McAninch
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This 15 page Study Guide was uploaded by AliciaAXO on Sunday September 4, 2016. The Study Guide belongs to COM 252 at University of Kentucky taught by Dr. Kelly McAninch in Fall 2016. Since its upload, it has received 6 views. For similar materials see Intro to Interpersonal Communication in Communications at University of Kentucky.

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Date Created: 09/04/16
Interpersonal Communication   Verbal & non­verbal interaction b/w 2 interdependent people   2 interdependent people = Mutual Effectiveness  What 1 person does has an impact on the other  Inherently relational   Communication defines the relationship – impacts the relationship  Exist on a continuum (scale)  Involves verbal & non­verbal messages   Takes place in varied forms  Face­to­face, texting, facebooking  Involves choice  What you want to communicate & how you communicate  Linear View of Communication   The speaker speaks and the listener listens.    Speaker  Listener  Speaker  Listener  Transactional View of Communication   Each person serves simultaneously as speaker and listener; at the same time that you send messages, you also receive messages from your own communications as well as from the  reactions of the other person(s).   Principles of Interpersonal communication   Interpersonal communication refers to both content & relationships   Content Information   Dictionary definition of what is being said  The literal meaning  Ex: “Go to the door” –Yelling or Nice  Relationship Information   Defines the relationship   Interpersonal communication is a series of punctuated events  Trying to find beginning & ending to a series of events  The tendency to divide communication transactions into sequences of stimuli &  response is referred   Ex: A husband & wife @ dinner. Husband flirts w/ server, wife starts texting friend  about it. Can’t agree on which event that made them upset took place 1t Perception of the Self & Others  Self­Concept   Consist of your feelings & thoughts about your strengths & weaknesses, your abilities &  limitations, & your aspirations & world view  The image that others have & that they reveal to you  The comparisons you make b/w yourself & others  The teachings of your culture  The way you interpret & evaluate your own thoughts & behaviors   Others’ Images   Looking­Glass Self  Looking @ the way others reveal your image to you  Social Comparisons  Comparing yourself w/ others, most often w/ your peers   Search Engine Reports/Network Spread/Online Influence   Cultural Teachings   Instills in you a variety of beliefs, values, & attitudes  Self­Evaluations  You react to your own behavior, & evaluate, & interpret it  Self­Awareness  Represents the extent to which you know yourself, your strengths & weaknesses, your  thoughts & feelings, & your personality tendencies  Johari Window   Open Self  Represents all the info about you that you & others know   Behaviors, attitudes, feelings, desires, motivations, & ideas   Name, skin color  Blind Self  Represents the things about you that others know but of which you are ignorant   Habits, gestures, traits  Hidden Self  All that you know of yourself that you kept secret   Over disclosure/under  The Unknown Self  Represents the truths about yourself that neither you, nor others know  Self­Esteem   A measure of how valuable you think you are   Evaluation of strengths & weaknesses (Traits you have)  Comparisons w/ ideal, feelings about your image Perception   Impression Formation Processes   Bias  Self­Fulfilling Prophecy   A belief that you have that ends up coming true b/c you act on it as if it was true  Have/Hold a belief   Act in ways that uphold your belief  Belief/Prediction comes true  Belief became strengthened   You make it happen  Ex: I don’t want a surprise party, so friends don’t do one  Halo/Reverse­Halo (Horns) Effect  When people allow an undesirable traits to influence their evaluation of other traits  Ex: You think someone is smart, therefore you think they are trustworthy too  Biased perception   Self­Serving Bias  We are responsible for anything good that happened to us  We are NOT responsible for anything bad that happens to us  Over attribution  Overreaching the importance of 1 single trait as means for a behavior  Fundamental Attribution Error  Less likely to see how other people’s bad situations can be attributed  Ex: He isn’t working hard b/c his dog dies Verbal Messages  Politeness  Involves behavior that allows others to maintain both positive & negative face  Positive Face   The need to be viewed as positive by others to be thought of favorably   Indirectness is viewed as positive face, but problematic   Inclusive Messages  All people are present, acknowledge the relevance of others, and are normally  considered polite   My mean: Saving face/not saying anything at all & following rules of channel  Negative Face  The need to be viewed as autonomous; to have the right to do as he/she wishes  Direct statements are viewed as negative face  Exclusive Messages  Shut out specific people/entire cultural groups ­ impolite  Influenced by culture, directness, inclusion, and exclusion  Face Threatening Act Nonverbal Communication   Channels of Nonverbal Communication  Body Messages  Body Gestures  Illustrators  Illustrate verbal messages   Helps to clarify & intensify messages  Talking w/ your hands  Affect Displays  Facial Movements that convey emotional meaning   Facial expressions that you give (smile, dirty look)  Regulators  Monitor, maintain, or control the speaking of another individual   Ex: Facial expressions/gestures that say “slow down”/ “keep going”  Communicating what you expect/want speakers to do as they’re talking  Adaptors  Satisfy a need & usually occur w/o conscious awareness  Self­Adaptors  Satisfy a physical need to make you more comfortable  Ex: Push your hair out of eyes/scratch head  Alter­Adaptors  Body movements your make in response to your interactions  Ex: Move closer to someone you like  Object­Adaptors  Movements that involve your manipulation of some object  Ex: Clicking a pen   Gestures & Cultures  Variation in gestures & their meanings among different cultures  Body Appearance  How the body communicates w/o movements   Assessments of how your power, attractiveness, & suitability as a friend or  romantic partner are often made through.  Body Reveals  Race could give you a clue about ones nationality thru skin tone  Body Communication  Your general attractiveness  Attractive people have the advantage in life  Height  Associated w/ fame  Preferences for different heights is influenced greatly by culture  Facial Communcation  Sometimes signals emotions or the intensity of the emotions  Facial movements communicate the degree of pleasantness, agreement, & sympathy a person feels  The Smile  The Real Smile – Duchennesmile   Genuine unconscious movement that reflects your feelings @ the time. (1/2  second)  The Fake Smile  Conscious, takes 1/10 longer to spread across face  Responded to negatively  Facial Management   Facial techniques   Intensify to exaggerate  Deintensify to cover up your joy  Neutralize to cover up your sadness  Mask to express happiness to cover up disappointment  Simulate to express and emotion you don’t feel   The techniques help you display emotions in social acceptable ways. Expected &  required by the rules of polite interaction  Facial Feedback  Facial Hypothesis  Your facial expressions influence your physiological arousal   Eye Communication  Messages communicated by the eyes that vary depending on the duration, direction,  & quality of the eye behavior  Eye Contact  To monitor feedback, to secure attention, to regulate conversation, to signal the  nature of the relationship, to signal the status, & to compensate for physical  distance  Eye Avoidance  You allow others to maintain their privacy – Civil Inattention  Signal lack of interest  Pupil Dilation  Judged more attractive than constricted eyes  Reveals your interest & level of emotional arousal  Enlarge/Dilate when you like something  Touch Communication (Tactile – Haptics)  Communcation by touch is the most primitive form of communication   Meanings of touch:  Emotions  Touch communicates emotions positively mainly b/w intimates/others who  have a relatively close relationships  Positive Emotions  Support, appreciate, promote inclusion, sexual interest/intent, & affection  Playfulness  A desire to play affectionately or aggressively   Control  May seek to control behaviors, attitudes, or feelings of another person  Ritual  Centers n performing rituals (greetings/departures)  Task­Related  Touch is associated w/ the performance of a positive function  Ex: Helping someone out of the car  Touch Avoidance   Positively related to communication apprehension or fear of anxiety about  communication   Paralanguage  The vocal & nonverbal dimension of speech  The manner in which you say something, not meaning  Stress placement, volume, rate, pitch  Silence  The functions of silence  To provide time to think, to hurt, to respond to personal anxiety, to prevent  communication, to communicate emotions, & to achieve specific effects  The Spiral of Silence Theory  You’re more likely to voice agreement than disagreement  When controversial issues arise, you estimate the opinions of others & figure   Online: people support the majority  Spatial Messages &Territoriality  Space & Spatial messages = Proxemics  Proxemics Distances  The distances we maintain b/w each other in our interactions, correspond to the  major types of relationships  Personal Distance   Allows you to stay protected & untouched by others   Social Distance  Ranging from 4­12 ft., you lose the visual detail you had @ personal distance   Public Distance – 12­25ft.  Territoriality   The possessive reaction to an area/particular objects  Primary/Home Territory  Areas that are your own (office, desk)  Secondary Territory  Areas that don’t belong to you, but you occupy  Classroom seat –EX  Home field Advantage  Operating in your own primary territory  Markers  Used to indicate personal ownership/appropriation of someone else’s space  Central Markers  Items you place in a territory to reserve it for you  Ex: Coffee on a table   Boundary Markers  Sets boundaries that divide your territory from that of others  Ear Markers  Identifying marks that indicate your possession of a territory  Territorial Encroachment  Status signaled by law granting the right of invasion  Ex: Withdraw, turf defense, insulation, linguistic collusion   Artefactual Communication   Messages conveyed by objects that are made by human hands   Space Decoration  How people form opinions about your personality  Color Communication  Language abounds in color symbolism  Color affect us physiologically   Movements, blinking, taste sensation  Clothing & Body Adornment   Clothing = Cultural display that communicates your cultural and subcultural  affiliations  Oldfactory Messages (smell)  Communicates attraction, memory, taste, & identifications  To attract others, to aid taste, to aid memorization, & to create an image  Temporal Communication  The use of time  Psychological Time (Time Orientation)  Past orientation   Have a special reverence for your past – relive old times  Present orientation  Living in the present  Future Orientation  You look toward & live for the future  Interpersonal Time  Time­related elements that figure into interaction – How you use time w/ other  people  Punctuality, wait time, duration time, time talk (who talks, who initiates, who  terminates), work time, relationship time, & response time  Cultural Time  Formal Time  Divides in the U.S. include: seconds, minutes, days, months  Informal Time  Divides involve: forever, immediately, soon, asap – ambiguous terms  Monochronism  People/Cultures schedule 1 thing @ a time  Polychronism  People/Cultures schedule multiple things @ a time  The Social Clock  Culturally the “right” time to do certain things  Ex: Mow grass during the day, not @ midnight Relationship Stages & Theories  Contact – Stage 1  Perceptual Contact  You hear, see, read messages from, view photos/videos, read a persons profile, or  smell a person to form a mental & physical picture  Interactional Contact  Relatively impersonal & superficial contact st  The stage where you exchange basic information – 1  impression  “hello my name is.”/ “May I buy you a latte?”  Involvement – Stage 2  A sense of mutuality, of being connected develops  Try to learn more about the person  Testing; to see whether your initial judgement proves reasonable   Ask questions / Kiss  Intimacy – Stage 3  You commit yourself to the other person & establish a relationship (BFF, companion)  Interpersonal Commitment Phase  2 people commit themselves to each other in a private way  Social Bonding Phase  Commitment is made public   You & partner become a unit, an identifiable pair  Deterioration – Stage 4  Characterized by the weakening of the bonds b/w friends/lovers  Intrapersonal Dissatisfaction Phase  You begin experiencing personal dissatisfaction w/ everyday interactions & begin to  view the future w/ your partner more negatively  Interpersonal Deterioration Phase  You withdraw & grow further & further apart  Share less free time, awkward silences, less physical contact   You consider dissolving rde relationship   Causes: Poor communication, 3  party relations, relationship changes, sex & work  related problems, financial difficulties, beliefs about relationship   Repair – Stage 5  Intrapersonal Repair Phase  You analyze what went wrong & consider ways of solving your relational difficulties  Consider changing your behaviors/expectations of your partner  Evaluate relationship rewards & try to salvage the situation  Interpersonal Repair Phase  The stage of negotiating new agreements & new behaviors   Talk about relationship problems, the changes you want to see, & what you are  willing to do   Dissolution – Stage 6  The bonds b/w the individuals are broken – romantic connection ends  Interpersonal Separation Phase  Begin to live separate lives apart from each other   Move into separate living quarters (apts, houses)  Social/Public Separation Phase  Return to “single” & look @ themselves as individuals   Relationship Communication  Communicating in Developing Relationships  Prosocial Behavior   Be nice, cheerful, friendly, open, positive, empathic   Communicate through self­disclosures and mundane conversations   All about attention: Turn­Toward = positive attention / Neutral/Turning Away = Ignore / Turning Against = Negative Attention   Day­to­Day Conversations: “How was your day?”  Communicating in Deteriorating Relationships  Communicating Patterns  Withdrawl  Verbally – Marked by a decreased desire to talk & listen  Non­Verbally – Decreased eye contact & touching  Decline in self­disclosure   Deception  Increases as the relationship breaks down  Positive & Negative Messages  Increase in negative messages & decrease in positive messages  Ex: Praise & behavior, but now you criticize it  Strategies of Disengagement   Positive Tone  Used to preserve the relationship & to express positive feelings for the other  person  Ex: “I care for you a lot, but I’m not ready for an intense relationship.”  Negative Identity Management  To blame the other person for the break­up & to absolve yourself   “I can’t stand your jealousy, I need my freedom.”  Justification   To give reasons for the break­up  “I’m leaving for college for 4 year, there’s no point in dating.”  De­escalation  To reduce the intensity of the relationship  Ex: Avoid the other person  Dealing W/ A Break Up  Break the loneliness cycle/depression cycle – Be active  Take time out – Renew yourself; Be single   Bolster your self­esteem   Remove/Avoid uncomfortable relationship symbols – pics, gifts  Become mindful of your own relationship patterns – avoid repeating  Communicating During Relationship Repair  Interpersonal Repair  Recognize the problem  Engage in productive communication & conflict resolution   Other­Orientation, openness, confidence, immediacy  Pose possible solutions   Affirm each other – Supportiveness & Positive Evaluations  Cherishing behaviors  Small gestures you enjoy & receive from your partner – squeeze, kiss  Specific & Positive, easily executed, & capable of daily performance  Integrate solutions into normal behavior   Risk take to improve the relationship  Intrapersonal Repair  Principles of punctuation & the idea the communication is circular (relationship  repair wheel)  Relationship Dissolution  Indirect   Unilateral   Avoidance – Stop communicating  Cost Escalation – You try to make the relationship as unpleasant as possible   Bilateral   Fade Away – Mutual Avoidance – grow apart  Direct  Unilateral  Direct Dump – Explain why it isn’t working  Positivity – Don’t want to be w/ you because  Bilateral  Blame – Blame each other  Negotiation   Attraction Theory  People form relationships w/ those they consider attractive   Similarity Principle  Your partner will look, act, & think like you  Complementary – People attracted to their opposite  Proximity Principle  Attracted to people who live/work near you  Reinforcement Principle  Attracted to people who give rewards  Physical Attractiveness & Personality  Influenced by a person’s friends & culture  Reciprocity of Liking   Relationship Dialectics Theory  Someone engaged in a relationship experiences internal tensions b/w pairs of  motives/desires that pull him/her in opposite directions  Tensions b/w Closedness & Openness   Conflict b/w the desire to be in a closed, exclusive relationship & the wish to be in a  relationship that is open to different people  Tension b/w Autonomy & Connection  Desire to remain an autonomous independent individual, but connected intimately w/  another person & to a relationship  Tension b/w Novelty & Predictability  Competing desires for newness & sameness   Social Penetration Theory  Describes the relationship in terms of the # of topics that people talk about & the degree  of “personalness” of those topics  Breadth of the Relationship  How many topics you & your partner talk about   Depth of Disclosure  The degree to which you penetrate the inner personality (the core) of the  individual   Depenetration of the Relationship  Breadth & Depth reverse themselves  Ex: When ending the relationship, you cut off certain topics from your  interpersonal communication   Social Exchange Theory  You develop relationships that enable you to maximize your profits   Profits=Rewards­Cost  Rewards – Money, Status, Love, Info, Goods, & Service  Cost – Considered unpleasant/difficult & often try to avoid   Ex: Working OT  Profits – What results when cost is subtracted from rewards  You seek to develop friendships & romantic relationships that will give you the greatest  profit  Comparison Level  A general idea of the kinds of rewards & profits that you feel you out to get out of  such a relationship  Realistic Expectations – Ex: Trust  Equity Theory  Claims that you develop & maintain relationships in which the ratio of your rewards  relative to your costs is appropriately = to your partners   Equitable Relationship  Each party derives rewards that are proportional to the costs they pay  Under benefit – Angry/Dissatisfied / Over benefit – Guilty  Maintain equitable relationships, terminate the inequitable   4 Dysfunctional Beliefs About Relationships  Mindreading is an ingredient of successful relationships  Idea of mindreading & expect it all the time   Non­helpful mentality / Be open to talking about your feelings & ask ques.  Successful Relationships Don’t Have Conflict  Healthier Idea – Conflict needs to be handled together   Work out how to handle the conflict  Partners Don’t Change in Successful Intimate Relationships  Learn how to deal w/ change  Men & Women are completely different in their approaches to love & intimacy   This is an overstatement   Look @ your partner as an individual  Relationship Types   Friendship Types  Friendship of Reciprocity (ideal type)  Based on equality – ex: FWB  Characterized by: Loyalty, self­sacrifice, mutual affection, & generosity   Friendship of Receptivity   A positive imbalance in giving & receiving   1 Primary giver & 1 Primary receiver – ex: Doctor Patient  Friendship of Association (Transitory)  A friendly relationship rather than a true friendship – ex: classmates  Love Relationship Types  Eros: Beauty & Sexuality  Focuses on physical attractiveness  Ludus: Entertainment & Excitement  Love is experienced as a game, as fun; not taken seriously  Storge: Peaceful & Slow  Love lacks passion & intensity; seek companionable relationships  Pragma: Practical & Traditional   Practical & seeks a relationship that will work  Mania: Elation & Depression   Characterized by extreme highs & extreme lows  Loves intensely & @ the same time intensely worries about the loss of the love  Agape: Compassionate & Selfless  Egoless, Self­Giving love – Even loves people w/ whom they have no close ties w/  Couple Types  Traditional Couples  Shares a basic belief system & philosophy of life (blended people)  “We tell each other how much we love & care about each other”  “A woman should take her husband’s last name when married”  Interdependent Couples  Stress their individuality  Have their own private work spaces  Separate Couples  Love together. But view their relationship more as a matter of convenience than a  result of their mutual love or closeness   It is better to hide your feelings to not hurt your partner  Workplace Communication  Lateral Communication  Messages b/w 2 equals; manager to manager  Upward Communication  Messages sent from the lower levels of a hierarchy to the upper levels  Ex: Line worker – to – Manager  Downward Communication  Messages sent from the higher to lower levels of a hierarchy   Ex: Deans to faculty members  Grapevine Messages  Address topics that you want to discuss in a more interpersonal setting, like issues  that aren’t public yet. – B/w regional managers  Networking Communication  Informal Networking  In a new work environment, you ask experienced workers when you have questions  Establish mutually beneficial relationships  Formal Networking  The establishment of connections w/ people who can help you  Answer questions, get you a job, get promoted, need to relocate Conflict  Interpersonal Conflict  Disagreement b/w or among connected individuals who perceive their goals as  incompatible  Interdependent, perceive each other as interfering w/ attainment of their own goals   Principles of Interpersonal Conflict  Conflict is Inevitable  Conflict can have Positive or Negative consequences  Negative Effects  Increased negative feelings, furthers conflict, mutual hurt & resentment, deplete  energy, & rewards become more difficult to exchange  Positive Effects  Stronger, healthier, & more satisfying relationship  Indicated concern, commitment, & desire to protect & preserve the relationship  Conflict Can Focus on Content &/Or  Relationship Issues  Content Conflict  Centers on objects, events, & persons in the world that are usually external to the  people involved in conflict  Relationship Conflict  Concerned w/ the relationship b/w the individual  Issues: Who’s in charge, the equality/lack off, & who has the right to establish rules of behavior  Conflict Styles  Accommodating  Accepting or acknowledging the other person’s point of view, through sacrificing  your own needs for the sake of the other person – I lose, you win  Avoiding  Physical flight, falling asleep, or blasting the radio – Demand/Withdraw  Non­negotiation or Silencers  Refuse to direct any attention to managing the conflict or to listen to the other  person’s argument.    I lose & you lose  Competing   As long as your needs are met, the conflict has been dealt w/ ­ I win, you lose  Collaborating  Your concern is w/ both you & the other person’s needs.  – I win, you win  Compromising   Meeting each other halfway – I win & lose, you win & lose  Verbal Aggressiveness & Argumentativeness  Verbal Agressiveness  1 person tries to win an argument by attacking the person’s self­concept  Characterized by attacking & is destructive   Argumentativeness  Your willingness to argue for a point of view, your tendency to speak your mind on  significant issues  Constructive, leads to relationship satisfaction, enhances organizational life, increases the user’s credibility, & increases user’s power or persuasion in varied  communication contexts  Avoid assuming, attacking, & interrupting  Perpetual Conflict  Serial Arguing  Arguing about the same argument over & over  Set of arguementative episodes that focuses on a particular issue  Degrades the relationship; Just agree to disagree  Chilling Effect  Fear of bringing up topic because you think partner will leave   Usually in imbalanced relationships Gottman’s 4 Horseman  Criticizing   Complaint that focuses on the person’s character – attacking person  Contempt  Partner’s hurting each other  Mockery, name­calling, sarcasm, & displays of hatefulness, & eye rolling  Position of superiority  Defensiveness  Form of self­protect  Attacking back when you feel attacked   Blaming the other person for problem, being the victim   Stonewall  Refusing/Shutting down communication  Withdrawing from the interaction 


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