Comm 315 COMM 315 - INTRO TO INTERPER COMM
U of L
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This 7 page Study Guide was uploaded by Lauren Henderson on Friday October 7, 2016. The Study Guide belongs to COMM 315 - INTRO TO INTERPER COMM at University of Louisville taught by Christine Steineck in Fall 2016. Since its upload, it has received 27 views. For similar materials see Interpersonal Communications in Communications at University of Louisville.
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Date Created: 10/07/16
Interpersonal Communication – Comm 315 Christine Steineck, Instructor Study Guide, Exam 2 Chapter 5 – Changing Relationships Communication Skills (5 types) 1. Relationship Initiation making a good impression for the first time o Breaking the ice 2. Self Disclosure revealing personal information to someone about yourself o Allowing others to get to know you; don’t scare people off 3. Providing Emotional Support empathetic to others problems; offering advice that is well received o Responsive: warm, caring people, concerned or othercentered 4. Negative Assertion Reveal negative qualities about yourself o Do it in a constructive way o Say no to friends request ( standup to your rights, your needs) o Telling partner when feelings have been hurt 5. Conflict Management Assert different opinions Listen to partner Refrain from being hostile Relationship Stages Knapp’s “Coming Together” stages (5): “a staircase” o 5 upward to more intimacy and 5 downward to less intimacy Stage 1: Initiating meeting for the first time (First six minutes) Stage 2: Experimenting still practicing impression management (High in breadth, low in depth) to reduce uncertainty still playing it safe Stage 3: Intensifying gradual increases in depth and breadth to disclose Affection, nicknames, “we” statements, commitment, discusses the future Stage 4: Integrating (dyad) people seeing us as couple or team Communication behaviors, attitudes, and opinions may merge Stage 5: Bonding public declaration Romantic relationships: we have marriage or commitment ceremonies Platonic relationships: use rituals to make public commitment (Asking someone to be godparent to your child) Knapp’s “Coming Apart” stages (5) Stage 1: Differentiating behave as individuals, rather than a couple Emphasizing differences at the expense of similarities Stage 2: Circumscribing talking around the issues Distance ourselves form each other Stage 3: Stagnating ( Not much hope left) relationship is at a standstill Communication is tense and awkward; can’t talk about the relationship itself Stage 4: Avoiding physical separation (distance) Ignore one another Stage 5:Terminating end relationship May separate quickly; end contact Turning Point o Definition: an event or occurrence that will change a relationship o Events: Major relational: events that stand out in our minds as having a strong impact on our relationship( we encounter positive and negative events) Dialectical Perspective: relationships are never completely stable o Baxter (romantic): Internal vs External Integration want to be a part of the group, but also want to be self sufficient Certainty( Stability/Change) we want security and continuity, but we also want excitement Expression( ExpressionPrivacy we need to be heard by others, but we need to keep some information to ourselves o Rawlins (friendship) IndependentDependent: wanting to pursue interest v. needing help and support ExpressiveProtective: wanting to disclose personal information v. not wanting to open selves up to criticism or rejection JudgementAcceptance: accepting a friend for who they are v. feeling free to offer criticism or advice AffectionInstrumentality: feeling warmth v. focusing on instrumental tasks PublicPrivate: how relationships are negotiated in private v. public Silly nicknames, showing affection IdealReal: “ Ought to be” v. “ Really is” Chapter 6 – Revealing and Hiding Ourselves SelfDisclosure: revealing something about yourself to another o Social Penetration Theory – 6 dimensions o Depth and Breadth: most central to relationship development Depth: how intimate or personal the disclosure is Breadth: how many topics we are willing to discuss o Frequency and Duration Frequency: how often the disclosure occurs Duration: how long two people spend disclosing in a single conversation o Valence and Veracity: relate to specific content of disclosure Valence: positive/negative the disclosure is Veracity: how honest or deceptive the disclosure is Strangeronaplane phenomenon: disclose information to people that we don’t know and won’t see again. we can talk about ourselves without worrying about it getting back to people that is closest to us. o Liking: high levels of selfdisclosures may not increase liking o Dyadic effect: selfdisclosures should be reciprocal; how to build close relationships o Risks (4): 1. Fear of Exposure or Rejection: if we expose negative qualities, others may think badly of us, like us less, reject us 2. Fear of Retaliation or Angry Attacks: the other person may become angry or use the information against us later 3. Fear of Lost or Control: we will lose control of our own thoughts and feelings, lose ability to influence our partner, and lose control of the information where others may share it 4. Fear of Losing Individuality: individual identity will get swallowed up in a relationship ( lose some sense of who you are) Privacy o Boundary structures Ownership: we have the right to control information about ourselves Permeability: how freely we allow others to share information we have disclosed o Cooperation: keep this secret together, if you don’t and reveal my secret, there will be penalties o Boundary Turbulence: affects coowners of information; may need to be renegotiated Topic Avoidance and Secret Keeping o In families Whole family secrets – held by the entire family and kept from outsiders Intrafamily secrets – some family members have information they keep from other family members Individual secrets – information held by one individual and kept from the rest of the family o Reasons/motivations 1. RelationshipBased Motivation *Topic avoidance can be used to strengthen or disengage from a relationship Relationship protection – biggest motivator; fear of disapproval from partner Relationship deescalation – keeping information secret in order to destroy a relationship or keep it from becoming closer 2. IndividualBased Motivation *People avoid certain issues to protect themselves Identity management – we avoid issues that may make us look bad to others Privacy maintenance – privacy and autonomy are important reasons we avoid topics 3. InformationBased Motivation Partner unresponsiveness – we will keep information to ourselves if we think our partner will respond poorly (will not listen carefully or not be of help) Futility of discussion – trying to explain is a waste of time Communication inefficacy – when one feels unable to discuss something competently and effectively Chapter 7 – Communicating Closeness Affectionate Communication o Definition: behaviors that portray feelings of fondness and positive regard o Affection Exchange Theory: allows people to provide and obtain valuable resources necessary to survive Viability: motivation to survive Fertility: motivation to procreate o Benefits o Better mental health Happier, more selfconfident, less likely to be depressed o Better physical health Less stressed, lower blood pressure, lower blood sugar o Communicating Affection Verbal and Nonverbal Immediacy behaviors: decrease distance, promote involvement ( positive involvement behaviors) o Gestalt: Perception arises from an overall impression of the degree of immediacy behaviors o Verbal behaviors: a. Word choicebuilds more positive relationships ( using “we” instead of “you” and “I” b. Forms of Address casual v formal, use of a nicknames; used inappropriately can cause a lack of closeness c. Depth of Closure sharing innermost thoughts and feelings d. Relationship Indicators how we refer to each other sends a message to how close we feel ( girlfriend/boyfriend, best friends) o Nonverbal behaviors: e. Oculesicseye contact indicates interest f. Proxemics how we use space indicates level of closeness we feel to the other person g. Haptics touching someone is seen as warm, intimate behavior (hugs, kisses, touching the face) h. Kinesics expressions, gestures, posture, relaxation) i. Vocalics may be more important than the words itself j. Chronemics spending time with, being on time, waiting for the other person o Cognitive Valence theory – 6 valencers 1. Culture – if behavior is culturally appropriate, then it will be valenced positively 2. Personality – personal predispositions cause people to valence behaviors differently 3. Rewardingness – how attractive we find someone 4. Relationship – respond to intimacy depending on how we classify the relationship (coworker, dating partner) 5. Situation – context in which the intimacy occurs, must be situationally appropriate (public or private place) 6. Temporary states – shortterm internal conditions that make us react differently (mood, illness) o Supportive Communication a. Invisible support often better than actual support (offering advice or commentary b. Personcentered messages acknowledge, elaborate on, and validate the feelings and concerns of the distressed person c. Nonverbal immediacy Work together with person centeredness to influence the quality of comforting behavior o Sex Differences in Intimacy and Affection Chapter 8 – Making a Love Connection o Sternberg’s Triangular Theory – 3 components a. Intimacy – “ warm component” Latent: What we feel inside Manifest: What we show to others b. Passion “ hot” burns out quickly ( infatuation); arousal and motivation c. Commitment “cool” cold hard decision making o Lee’s Love Styles o Primary Loves a. Eros: physical love ( attraction may fade away) High levels of physical attraction, affection and sexual desire High levels of disclosure High levels of touching and nonverbal displays of affection b. Storge: compassionate love Feel comfortable around each other Based on friendship, share values, and goals Emotions tend to be positive c. Ludus: gameplaying love Relationships are fun, playful, and casual Want to avoid commitment and play the field May feel school or work is more important o Common Secondary Love d. Mania possessive love( Combination of Eros and Ludus) Lovers are demanding, dependent and possessive Easily jealous Physical attraction and passion, but can play manipulative and controlling games e. Pragma practical love ( Combination of Storge and Ludus) Based on personal preferences and compatibility issues A common sense approach Someone that is compatible with shared values and goals, but avoids emotional risk by committing only after careful thought and consideration f. Agape unselfish love( Combination of Eros and Storge) Love that is altruistic and unconditional Willing to make sacrifices do for others without expecting anything in return passionate love; enduring and secure o Attachment Theory Love is best seen as a progress; how we feel about ourselves and others We tend to attach to people a. internal working modelscognitive representations of oneself and potential partners Positive selfmodels – see selves as selfsufficient, secure and lovable Negative selfmodels – see selves as dependent, insecure, unworthy b. Childhood attachment styles Keeps them close to a caregiver to feel protected Caregiver is supposed to provide a secure base c. Adult attachment styles (Bartholomew) type of relationship we look for: 1. SecureProsocial Style – positive models of self and others (I’m OK, you’re OK) a) Skillful and pleasant communication style b) Able to express negative feelings appropriately c) Able to collaboratively solve conflict 2. PreoccupiedEmotional Style – positive models of others, negative models of self (I’m not OK, you’re OK) a) Overly dependent, desire to gain approval b) Often disclose too quickly c) Become demanding trying to control other’s behavior 3. FearfulHesitant Style – negative models of others and self (I’m not OK, you’re not OK) a) Afraid of hurt and rejection (usually based on past experience) b) Lack assertiveness and appear uncomposed c) Withdraw or accommodate during conflict 4. Dismissive Detached Style – positive models of self, negative models of others (I’m OK, you’re not OK) a) Selfsufficient, shun relationships b) Dominant, tend to interrupt partners c) See selves as fully autonomous
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