CH 1: INTRODUCING INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION Interpersonal Communication (COMM 1500) | Professor Heather Cohen | MWF 9:05am – 9:55am Mon Jan 9 ∙ Communication o It’s a process o What we say to a person can affect our present & future o Consists of messages o Thus, occurs in virtually any situation or context o Uses a variety of channels (actual sensory dimension of communication, aka 5 senses) o Through different media tools (it’s a canvas through which the message/sensory aspects are transferred Ex: media = powerpoint, channel = picture ∙ Interpersonal Communication (IPC) o “diadic” = 2 people, “triadic” = 3 people, “small group” = more than 3 o Definition: a dynamic form of communication bw 2+ people in which the messages exchanged significantly influence their thoughts, emotions, behaviors, & relationships Dynamic – always changing o “I” Positions I-Thou relationship (most interpersonal) ∙ “we are similar” (ex family, lovers) I-You relationship ∙ Middle of spectrum (ex teacher/student) I-It relationship (most impersonal) ∙ “we are different” (ex political debates) o Principles of IPC Includes content & relationship info (ex: ppt content, attitude of teacher) Can be intentional or unintentional ∙ “one cannot NOT communicate” ∙ Metacommunication – communicating about how you are communicating Wed Jan 11 ∙ Case Study – Dyadic Primacy o Grouped a bunch of people together in one room (didn’t matter if a few people knew each other)o FINDINGS: people are more likely to break into groups of 2, rather than a triad, small group, etc) ∙ 4 Principles of IPC o 1. IPC is irreversible o 2. IPC is dynamic (changes based on many factors) o 3. IPC is rule-governed o 4. IPC is learned ∙ 3 Models on How People Communicate o 1. Linear Communication Model Info flows in one direction Made up of sender > message > channel (5 senses) > noise (distractions that hinder receival of message) > receiver Simplistic but not the most salient (important) Best example = text messages o 2. Interactive Communication Model Incorporates senders & receivers, but relies on feedback & fields of experience Feedback = acknowledgement that message has been received (ex: facial expressions, head nod) Experience = changes the way the receiver thinks Addresses most channels of communication but doesn’t looks at the receivers’ role in constructing meanings o 3. Transactional Communication Model Multi-directional Communicators collaboratively construct meanings Communication in every-day life ∙ Interpersonal Communication & Goals o 1. Self Presentation Goals Goals on how you want to be perceived o 2. Instrumental Goal Communicating in a way that helps you achieve some thing/task o 3. Relationship Goals Build, maintain, or end relationships ∙ IPC Competence (essay topic!!) o “Communicating in ways that…” 1. Are appropriate ∙ Degree to which communication matches expectations of situation o Situational, relational, conceptual, cultural (norms) ∙ Self-monitor people o High = prefers clear-cut expectations on how to communicate 2o Low = prefers to act & communicate how they want 2. Are effective ∙ Communicating to achieve goals 3. Empathy ∙ “walking a mile in my shoes” ∙ Communicate understanding 4. Show adaptability ∙ Changes behaviors & goals to meet the needs of an interaction ∙ Usually a person with high effectiveness has high adaptability 5. Utilize conversation involvement ∙ Showing engagement in conversation ∙ Usually shown in feedback (facial expressions, head nod) 6. Utilize conversation management ∙ Able to change or manipulate a situation Wed Jan 18 ∙ The “Self” o An evolving composite of: 1. Self-Awareness ∙ The ability to step outside yourself & reflect on your own thoughts, feelings, & behavior ∙ “who am I?” ∙ Social comparison (social comparison theory, Festinger 1954) o You determine social & personal worth by how you compare yourself with others 2. Self-Concept ∙ The overall perception of one’s identity based on beliefs, attitudes, & values that he/she has about his/herself ∙ “this is who I am” ∙ Self-fulfilling prophecies – our self concepts allow us to make predictions then if we believe it enough it becomes our future) ∙ Looking-glass self – you see yourself based on how you think others see you ∙ Culture is an overarching belief, self-concept is like individual culture Fri Jan 20 3 3. Self-Esteem ∙ The overall positive or negative value we assign to ourselves ∙ The way we think about ourselves ∙ “Because this is who I am, what do I think of myself” ∙ Self-Discrepancy Theory o Ideal self = characteristics you want to possess o Ought self = what others want/expect you to be o *we want to find a balance bw the two so we don’t feel inferior ∙ Negative beliefs lead to negative self-esteem which leads to negative communication ∙ The Sources of Self o Outside forces such as… Gender: women tend to see themselves in a relationship (within the social filter) vs men who are more independent from relationship ∙ Women chose responses based on interpersonal obligations vs men state their position & offer their opinion ∙ Self-Presentational Goals – more important in men than women o “I need to be presented in a certain way” ∙ Self-esteem is lowest for men in their 40s-50s when they realize their goals/expectations were never met ∙ Most people, men & women, like their 60s-70s most Culture: beliefs, attitudes, & values shared across people ∙ Culture influences things bc it influences self-esteem ∙ Individualistic culture – the individual is more important (instrumental goal oriented people) o Value revealment over concealment (ex US) ∙ Collectivistic culture – focused on the large scale greater good (expressive oriented people) o Value concealment over revealment (ex Japan) Family: caregivers have the greatest impact on how we view ourselves (especially during development) ∙ Study: Harsh Discipline at Home (Goughman) o Kids are more likely to have internalized conflict & are more depressed when they are older ∙ The Public “Self” o Face = what we want people to see Public self that is presented to others when communicating w them Saving face vs Losing Face 4
SELF
SAVING FACE
Saving self’s face
DAMAGE FACE
Damage self’s face
o How can we teach it?

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o Mask = what we don’t want others to see Public self designed to conceal what is private ∙ Social Penetration Theory (SPT) o HUGE self disclosure theory o Peeling back the layers of the onion (self) 1. Peripheral (outermost) – demographics, age, name, etc 2. Intermediate – attitudes & opinions, things that characterize you 3. Central (innermost) – self-awareness/concept/esteem, fears, values ∙ Most personal o Based off levels of intimacy (closeness & union) o Breadth vs Depth of information Breadth = range/# of topics Depth = deepness of conversation OTHER Saving other’sDamage other’∙ Usually starts high breadth then evens out then more depth than breadth as relationship becomes more intimate Mon Jan 23 ∙ Johari’s Window o Peering into someone’s windows (different than SPT where you peel back layers)
YOU KNOW
YOU DON’T KNOW
OTHERS KNOW
Public Ex: physical appearance
Blind Ex: you are rude & unaware
OTHERS DON’T KNOW
Hidden Ex: secrets
Unknown Ex: subconscious; an experience you haven’t had
What are the short-term/long-term consequences of my actions?

What are the positives of this encounter?

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Wed Jan 25 ∙ Perception: the process of selecting, organizing, & interpreting info from our senses o Selection organization interpretation responds Selection – focus our attention on specific senses in the environment (salient/important – what attracts our attention most) 5 Organization – formulating selection in to a coherent pattern in your mind (punctuation – structure info in to chronological order) Interpretation – assign meaning to the info creating explanation (schema – mental structures in your brain based off previous experiences) Response o Attributions: answers to the “why” question of everyday life 1. Internal attribution – attributing someone’s behavior to their internal characteristics (personalist, attitudes, values) 2. External attribution – attributing someone’s behavior to outside causes (in the environment) (unrelated to personal qualities/characteristics) o Attribution ERRORS 1. Fundamental Attribution Error (FAE) – tendency to only attribute other’s behavior to internal causes (the kind of person they are) ∙ Ex: romantic relationships, technology ∙ Study does the FAE cross cultures? Took people from Canada & Korea, made them watch a video of fish swimming. o Individualistic cultures talked about fish behavior *way more likely to commit the FAE o Collectivistic culture noticed things in the outside environment Fri Jan 27 2. Actor-Observer Error – the tendency of people to make external attribution regarding their OWN behaviors 3. Self-Serving Bias – the tendency to credit ourselves internally for our success instead of internally ∙ Driving force = ego protection o Uncertainty Reduction Theory Must reduce uncertainty about new communication partner Gather enough info The less uncertainty the more likeable a person is Strategies: ∙ Active – asking 3rd parties about a person ∙ Passive – gather info by watching ∙ Interactive – starting a direct conversation with the person 6 Kam & Lee (2012) Study: how to reduce alcohol & drug use among adolescents ∙ Used interactive strategy but talking directly to the parents about alcohol use ∙ Passive strategy would be “watching the videos” which is apparently not influential enough ∙ Perception, Culture, & Gender o Culture: Ingoupers vs outgroupers People similar to you vs people not similar to you Gudykunst et al. (1987) came up with the idea o Gender “when it comes to interpersonal communication, mean & women respond in a similar manner 99% of the time” ∙ Personality & Perception o Openness – being able to consider other people’s ideas (imaginative) o Conscientiousness –persistence about achieving goals (dependable) o Extraversion – how much someone thrives off interpersonal encounters o Agreeableness – how trusting & cooperative a person is o Neuroticism – how often we view ourselves negatively (insecure, emotional instability, NOT “crazy”) Mon Jan 30 ∙ Interpersonal Expressions: mental pictures of who people are & how we feel about them o Gestalt (based off schemata) – general feelings about a person based on your past experiences w them o Positivity bias – tunnel vision that people are good (ex seen a lot in abusive relationships) o Negative effect – we only define someone based off their negative aspects o Halo vs Horn Effect – halo is when someone does something good we attribute it to their internal attributions; when something is bad it’s attributed to external reasons (viewed like an angle) VS Horn is the opposite (positive is external, negative is internal) ∙ Improving Impressions o 1. Empathy o 2. World-Mindedness o 3. Perception-Checking (5 Steps) p.94 o *KNOW: implicit personality theories & stereotyping 7Wed Feb 1 ∙ Definition: an intense reaction to an event that involves interpreting event meaning, becoming physiologically aroused, labeling the experience as affective, managing reactions, & communicating through emotion displays & disclosures o Triggered by our perception of things ∙ Emotions & Communication o Technology & communication o Emotion sharing – how we talk about our emotional experiences w other people o Emotional contagion – experiencing an emotion that spreads to people around you ∙ Feelings vs Mood vs Emotion o Feelings – short-term, produce limited arousal (small baby emotion) o Mood – low-intensity, longer-lasting o Emotions – high-intensity, produces higher arousal; 6 primary emotions Jealousy is a blended emotion (anger, sadness, & fear) ∙ How We Shape Emotions o Culture – display rules o Gender – expressing emotions o Personality – the big 5 (OCEAN) ∙ Emotional Intelligence o Definition: “the ability to interpret emotions accurately & to use this info to manage emotions, communicate them competently, & solve relationship problems” o Skill sets 1. Self-awareness: knowing & labeling experiences & emotions 2. Self-control: appropriateness 3. Motivation: you have to be motivated to use emotional intelligence 4. Empathy: perspective taking 5. Social Skills: socially appropriate Fri Feb 3 ∙ Studies Suggest… o Emotional intelligence is associated with success at work o Higher emotional learning scores higher company rank & greater merit pay increases ∙ Can you teach/improve emotional intelligence? 8o Yes!! But it’s very challenging o Focus on perception of, use of, understanding of emotions, & managing of emotions Understanding & managing are easiest Perception & use are hardest because they involve another person o How can we teach it? Role play, journal writing The more you can incorporate other people, the better ∙ Managing & Preventing Emotions o Emotional Management Suppression = internalizing Venting = emotions dominate thoughts then we explosively express them (typically leads to more anger) o Preventing Emotions (4 strategies) 1. Encounter Avoidance (people, places, etc) 2. Encounter Structuring (topics of conversation) 3. Attention Focus (only focus on parts of an encounter that avoid the bad emotions) ∙ Ex: in a divorce, only focus on the kids 4. Deactivation (desensitize yourself to an experience) ∙ Reappraisal o “Actively changing how you think about the meaning of emotion eliciting situations so that their emotional impact is change” o Before an actual emotion reaction begins… 1. What are the positives of this encounter? 2. What are the short-term/long-term consequences of my actions? ∙ Anger o Primary emotion (but studies are starting to say otherwise) o Suppression in the easiest way to avoid anger o Passive-aggressive communication o Chronic Hostility – suppress anger so much that you become chronically hostile o Catharsis – belief that venting will give you a temporary state of satisfaction ∙ Grief Communication o Grief: the intense sadness to a substantial loss (ex: death, divorce, subjective to the person o Greif & communicating are related o Oscillation = to go back & forth Should be what grieving people should be doing (loss oriented restoration-oriented) ∙ Passion 9o Blended emotion of positive feelings (ex joy, excitement, etc + sexual attraction 10