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UGA / Communications / COMM 1500 / What does empathy mean?

What does empathy mean?

What does empathy mean?

Description

School: University of Georgia
Department: Communications
Course: Introduction to Interpersonal Communication
Professor: Kristin andersen
Term: Summer 2015
Tags: Interpersonal, communication, and 1500
Cost: 25
Name: comm1500 lecture notes thru 4/7/17
Description: Interpersonal Communication 1500 - Cohen's class notes through Fri Apr 7
Uploaded: 04/07/2017
32 Pages 132 Views 0 Unlocks
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INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION Interpersonal Communication (COMM 1500) | Professor Heather Cohen |  MWF 9:05am – 9:55am UNIT 1 Mon Jan 9 ∙ Communication  o It’s a process o What we say to a person can affect our present & future o Consists of messages o Thus, occurs in virtually any situation or context o Uses a variety of channels (actual sensory dimension of  communication, aka 5 senses) o Through different media tools (it’s a canvas through which the  message/sensory aspects are transferred  Ex: media = powerpoint, channel = picture ∙ Interpersonal Communication (IPC) o “diadic” = 2 people, “triadic” = 3 people, “small group” = more  than 3 o Definition: a dynamic form of communication bw 2+ people in  which the messages exchanged significantly influence their  thoughts, emotions, behaviors, & relationships  Dynamic – always changing o “I” Positions  I-Thou relationship (most interpersonal) ∙ “we are similar” (ex family, lovers)  I-You relationship ∙ Middle of spectrum (ex teacher/student)  I-It relationship (most impersonal) ∙ “we are different” (ex political debates) o Principles of IPC  Includes content & relationship info (ex: ppt content,  attitude of teacher)  Can be intentional or unintentional  ∙ “one cannot NOT communicate” ∙ Metacommunication – communicating about how you are communicating  Wed Jan 11 ∙ Case Study – Dyadic Primacy o Grouped a bunch of people together in one room (didn’t matter  if a few people knew each other)o FINDINGS: people are more likely to break into groups of 2,  rather than a triad, small group, etc) ∙ 4 Principles of IPC o 1. IPC is irreversible o 2. IPC is dynamic (changes based on many factors) o 3. IPC is rule-governed o 4. IPC is learned ∙ 3 Models on How People Communicate  o 1. Linear Communication Model  Info flows in one direction  Made up of sender > message > channel (5 senses) >  noise (distractions that hinder receival of message) >  receiver  Simplistic but not the most salient (important)   Best example = text messages o 2. Interactive Communication Model   Incorporates senders & receivers, but relies on feedback  & fields of experience  Feedback = acknowledgement that message has been  received (ex: facial expressions, head nod)  Experience = changes the way the receiver thinks   Addresses most channels of communication but doesn’t  looks at the receivers’ role in constructing meanings o 3. Transactional Communication Model  Multi-directional  Communicators collaboratively construct meanings  Communication in every-day life ∙ Interpersonal Communication & Goals o 1. Self Presentation Goals  Goals on how you want to be perceived o 2. Instrumental Goal  Communicating in a way that helps you achieve some  thing/task o 3. Relationship Goals  Build, maintain, or end relationships ∙ IPC Competence (essay topic!!) o “Communicating in ways that…”  1. Are appropriate ∙ Degree to which communication matches  expectations of situation o Situational, relational, conceptual, cultural  (norms) ∙ Self-monitor people o High = prefers clear-cut expectations on how  to communicate 2o Low = prefers to act & communicate how they want  2. Are effective ∙ Communicating to achieve goals  3. Empathy ∙ “walking a mile in my shoes” ∙ Communicate understanding   4. Show adaptability ∙ Changes behaviors & goals to meet the needs of an  interaction ∙ Usually a person with high effectiveness has high  adaptability  5. Utilize conversation involvement ∙ Showing engagement in conversation ∙ Usually shown in feedback (facial expressions, head  nod)  6. Utilize conversation management ∙ Able to change or manipulate a situation Wed Jan 18 ∙ The “Self” o An evolving composite of:  1. Self-Awareness ∙ The ability to step outside yourself & reflect on your  own thoughts, feelings, & behavior ∙ “who am I?” ∙ Social comparison (social comparison theory,  Festinger 1954) o You determine social & personal worth by how you compare yourself with others  2. Self-Concept ∙ The overall perception of one’s identity based on  beliefs, attitudes, & values that he/she has about  his/herself ∙ “this is who I am” ∙ Self-fulfilling prophecies – our self concepts allow us to make predictions then if we believe it enough it  becomes our future) ∙ Looking-glass self – you see yourself based on how  you think others see you ∙ Culture is an overarching belief, self-concept is like  individual culture  Fri Jan 20 3 3. Self-Esteem ∙ The overall positive or negative value we assign to  ourselves ∙ The way we think about ourselves ∙ “Because this is who I am, what do I think of myself” ∙ Self-Discrepancy Theory o Ideal self = characteristics you want to possess o Ought self = what others want/expect you to be o *we want to find a balance bw the two so we  don’t feel inferior ∙ Negative beliefs lead to negative self-esteem which  leads to negative communication ∙ The Sources of Self o Outside forces such as…  Gender: women tend to see themselves in a relationship  (within the social filter) vs men who are more independent  from relationship ∙ Women chose responses based on interpersonal  obligations vs men state their position & offer their  opinion ∙ Self-Presentational Goals – more important in men than women o “I need to be presented in a certain way” ∙ Self-esteem is lowest for men in their 40s-50s when  they realize their goals/expectations were never met ∙ Most people, men & women, like their 60s-70s most  Culture: beliefs, attitudes, & values shared across people ∙ Culture influences things bc it influences self-esteem ∙ Individualistic culture – the individual is more  important (instrumental goal oriented people) o Value revealment over concealment (ex US) ∙ Collectivistic culture – focused on the large scale  greater good (expressive oriented people) o Value concealment over revealment (ex Japan)  Family: caregivers have the greatest impact on how we view  ourselves (especially during development) ∙ Study: Harsh Discipline at Home (Goughman) o Kids are more likely to have internalized conflict  & are more depressed when they are older ∙ The Public “Self” o Face = what we want people to see   Public self that is presented to others when communicating w them  Saving face vs Losing Face 4

SELF SAVING FACE Saving self’s face DAMAGE FACE Damage self’s face


o How can we teach it?



We also discuss several other topics like there are two broad classifications of costs manufacturing costs and
We also discuss several other topics like What is the study of language history and change over time?

o Mask = what we don’t want others to see  Public self designed to conceal what is private  ∙ Social Penetration Theory (SPT) o HUGE self disclosure theory o Peeling back the layers of the onion (self)  1. Peripheral (outermost) – demographics, age, name, etc  2. Intermediate – attitudes & opinions, things that  characterize you  3. Central (innermost) – self-awareness/concept/esteem,  fears, values ∙ Most personal o Based off levels of intimacy (closeness & union) o Breadth vs Depth of information  Breadth = range/# of topics  Depth = deepness of conversation OTHER Saving other’sDamage other’∙ Usually starts high breadth then evens out then more  depth than breadth as relationship becomes more  intimate  Mon Jan 23 ∙ Johari’s Window  o Peering into someone’s windows (different than SPT where you  peel back layers)

YOU KNOW YOU DON’T KNOW OTHERS KNOW Public Ex: physical appearance Blind Ex: you are rude & unaware OTHERS DON’T KNOW Hidden Ex: secrets Unknown Ex: subconscious; an experience you haven’t had


What are the short-term/long-term consequences of my actions?




What are the positives of this encounter?



We also discuss several other topics like What are the two forms of manage your expectations?
If you want to learn more check out oba-215
Don't forget about the age old question of What does academic disidentification mean?
If you want to learn more check out What are the “4 D’s” of determining a mental disorder?

Wed Jan 25 ∙ Perception: the process of selecting, organizing, & interpreting info  from our senses o Selection  organization  interpretation  responds  Selection – focus our attention on specific senses in the  environment (salient/important – what attracts our  attention most) 5 Organization – formulating selection in to a coherent  pattern in your mind (punctuation – structure info in to  chronological order)  Interpretation – assign meaning to the info creating  explanation (schema – mental structures in your brain  based off previous experiences)  Response o Attributions: answers to the “why” question of everyday life  1. Internal attribution – attributing someone’s behavior to  their internal characteristics (personalist, attitudes,  values)  2. External attribution – attributing someone’s behavior to outside causes (in the environment) (unrelated to personal qualities/characteristics) o Attribution ERRORS  1. Fundamental Attribution Error (FAE) – tendency to only  attribute other’s behavior to internal causes (the kind of  person they are) ∙ Ex: romantic relationships, technology  ∙ Study  does the FAE cross cultures? Took people  from Canada & Korea, made them watch a video of  fish swimming.  o Individualistic cultures talked about fish  behavior  *way more likely to commit the FAE o Collectivistic culture noticed things in the  outside environment Fri Jan 27  2. Actor-Observer Error – the tendency of people to make  external attribution regarding their OWN behaviors  3. Self-Serving Bias – the tendency to credit ourselves  internally for our success instead of internally ∙ Driving force = ego protection  o Uncertainty Reduction Theory  Must reduce uncertainty about new communication  partner  Gather enough info  The less uncertainty the more likeable a person is  Strategies:  ∙ Active – asking 3rd parties about a person ∙ Passive – gather info by watching ∙ Interactive – starting a direct conversation with the  person 6 Kam & Lee (2012) Study: how to reduce alcohol & drug  use among adolescents ∙ Used interactive strategy but talking directly to the  parents about alcohol use ∙ Passive strategy would be “watching the videos”  which is apparently not influential enough ∙ Perception, Culture, & Gender o Culture: Ingoupers vs outgroupers  People similar to you vs people not similar to you  Gudykunst et al. (1987) came up with the idea o Gender  “when it comes to interpersonal communication, mean &  women respond in a similar manner 99% of the time” ∙ Personality & Perception o Openness – being able to consider other people’s ideas  (imaginative) o Conscientiousness –persistence about achieving goals  (dependable) o Extraversion – how much someone thrives off interpersonal  encounters o Agreeableness – how trusting & cooperative a person is o Neuroticism – how often we view ourselves negatively (insecure, emotional instability, NOT “crazy”) Mon Jan 30 ∙ Interpersonal Expressions: mental pictures of who people are & how  we feel about them o Gestalt (based off schemata) – general feelings about a person  based on your past experiences w them o Positivity bias – tunnel vision that people are good (ex seen a lot  in abusive relationships) o Negative effect – we only define someone based off their  negative aspects o Halo vs Horn Effect – halo is when someone does something  good we attribute it to their internal attributions; when  something is bad it’s attributed to external reasons (viewed like  an angle) VS Horn is the opposite (positive is external, negative  is internal) ∙ Improving Impressions o 1. Empathy o 2. World-Mindedness o 3. Perception-Checking (5 Steps) p.94 o *KNOW: implicit personality theories & stereotyping 7Wed Feb 1 ∙ Emotion Definition: an intense reaction to an event that involves  interpreting event meaning, becoming physiologically aroused,  labeling the experience as affective, managing reactions, &  communicating through emotion displays & disclosures  o Triggered by our perception of things ∙ Emotions & Communication o Technology & communication o Emotion sharing – how we talk about our emotional experiences  w other people o Emotional contagion – experiencing an emotion that spreads to  people around you ∙ Feelings vs Mood vs Emotion  o Feelings – short-term, produce limited arousal (small baby  emotion) o Mood – low-intensity, longer-lasting o Emotions – high-intensity, produces higher arousal; 6 primary  emotions  Jealousy is a blended emotion (anger, sadness, & fear) ∙ How We Shape Emotions o Culture – display rules o Gender – expressing emotions o Personality – the big 5 (OCEAN) ∙ Emotional Intelligence o Definition: “the ability to interpret emotions accurately & to use  this info to manage emotions, communicate them competently,  & solve relationship problems” o Skill sets  1. Self-awareness: knowing & labeling experiences &  emotions  2. Self-control: appropriateness  3. Motivation: you have to be motivated to use emotional  intelligence  4. Empathy: perspective taking  5. Social Skills: socially appropriate  Fri Feb 3 ∙ Studies Suggest… o Emotional intelligence is associated with success at work o Higher emotional learning scores  higher company rank &  greater merit pay increases ∙ Can you teach/improve emotional intelligence? 8o Yes!! But it’s very challenging o Focus on perception of, use of, understanding of emotions, &  managing of emotions  Understanding & managing are easiest  Perception & use are hardest because they involve  another person  o How can we teach it?  Role play, journal writing  The more you can incorporate other people, the better ∙ Managing & Preventing Emotions o Emotional Management  Suppression = internalizing  Venting = emotions dominate thoughts then we  explosively express them (typically leads to more anger) o Preventing Emotions (4 strategies)   1. Encounter Avoidance (people, places, etc)  2. Encounter Structuring (topics of conversation)  3. Attention Focus (only focus on parts of an encounter  that avoid the bad emotions) ∙ Ex: in a divorce, only focus on the kids  4. Deactivation (desensitize yourself to an experience) ∙ Reappraisal  o “Actively changing how you think about the meaning of emotion eliciting situations so that their emotional impact is change” o Before an actual emotion reaction begins…  1. What are the positives of this encounter?  2. What are the short-term/long-term consequences of my  actions? ∙ Anger o Primary emotion (but studies are starting to say otherwise) o Suppression in the easiest way to avoid anger o Passive-aggressive communication o Chronic Hostility – suppress anger so much that you become  chronically hostile o Catharsis – belief that venting will give you a temporary state of  satisfaction ∙ Grief Communication  o Grief: the intense sadness to a substantial loss (ex: death,  divorce, subjective to the person o Greif & communicating are related o Oscillation = to go back & forth  Should be what grieving people should be doing (loss oriented  restoration-oriented)  ∙ Passion 9o Blended emotion of positive feelings (ex joy, excitement, etc +  sexual attraction Mon Feb 6 ∙ What is Culture? o An established, coherent set of beliefs, attitudes, values, &  practices shared by a large group of people o 4 important aspects:  1. Learned (parents, teachers, media)  2. Communicated  3. Layered  4.  ∙ Culture & Self o Remember: culture is like a larger version of the self-concept (a  collective sense of self shared by a large group of people) o Individualistic vs collectivistic cultures ∙ Key Communication Values: collectivistic o Close ties among extended family/community o Core value: mutual obligation (takes a village to raise a child),  rely on each other to grow o “we” language o Focus on harmony o Listener-oriented culture o “yes” doesn’t often mean yes, “no” is rarely used o Shame (in comparison to guilt, public vs internal) o Listening styles  1. People-oriented (therapists, good listeners)  2. Content-oriented (lawyers, people looking for  detail/content) Wed Feb 8 ∙ Key Communication Values: Individualistic o Independence & individual rights o Core value: self-fulfillment o Large # of loose relationships o Be clear & truthful o Speaker-oriented culture o Guilt o Listening styles (goal driven):  1. Action oriented  2. Time oriented (asap) ∙ Co-Cultural Communication Theory (Orbe) o People within a society who have more power determine the  dominant culture o Members who don’t conform to the dominant culture form co cultures 10 Co-culture: having one’s own culture that coexists within a dominant cultural sphere ∙ High vs Low Context Culture  o High: assumption that others share the same viewpoints, & in  turn, perceive situations the same way  Often collectivistic   People speak indirectly & vaguely  Ex: china, korea, japan o Low: do NOT assume similarity in viewpoints  Often individualistic  People are competitive, persuasive, informative, & concise  Ex: US, Germany, Canada, Norway ∙ Uncertainty Avoidance (UAI) o Anxiety about unknown or uncertain matters o Deals with a society’s tolerance for uncertainty & ambiguity  o UAI – High (ex Germany)  Unknown situations = threatening  Slow to adapt change  Low innovation/modernization (slower than other  countries)  Conflict avoiders  Extensive judicial/legislature system  Prefer formal structure & rules o UAI High Communication  Individuals typically expect explicit instructions &  directions for many tasks  Provide very detailed & formal responses to requests  Ask many questions when unsure, not likely to “wing it” o UAI – Low (ex US, India, China)  More open to innovation & risk  More accepting to conflict  Informal rules are preferred o UAI Low Communication   Open to more casual communication patterns  Open to changing things up (adaptable)  Willing to pitch new ideas & change quickly  UNIT 2 Wed Feb 15 ∙ Listening: A 5-Step Process o 1. Receiving – seeing visual input & hearing auditory input o 2. Attending – devoting “attention” to the info you’ve received  Salience is a big contributing factor here 11o 3. Understanding – interpreting meaning by comparing newly  received info against past knowledge   Affected by schema ∙ Short-term vs long-term memory o 4. Responding – clearly & constructively providing feedback to  the speaker  Feedback can be: ∙ Positive OR negative (not interested)  ∙ Paraphrasing (receiving only part of the message)  Active listening o 5. Recalling – remembering info after you have received,  attended to, understood, & responded to it  Accuracy depends on the situation ∙ Can lead to conflict ∙ Ex: memory = high recall, more complicated things  = lower recall ∙ Studies show that we want to view our behaviors as  more positive than they (maybe) actually are & view  others as more negative (because we want to be  great) Fri Feb 17 ∙ Understanding Listening Styles o Listening style – a habitual pattern of listening behaviors that  reflect your attitudes, beliefs, & predispositions regarding the  listening process  People-Oriented – listening w concern for others’ emotions & feelings  Action-Oriented – listening w preference for/emphasis on  organized, accurate, & concise messages (ex: the CEO of a company)  Content-Oriented – listening w focus on facts & details of  message (ex: jury & lawyer)  Time-Oriented – listening w focus on conveying message  in shortest amount of time possible (ex: “drive-by”) o Active Listening – convey attention & understanding to others  by clearly & constructively responding through positive  feedback, paraphrasing, & clarifying  Impersonal  interpersonal  Responding (5-step process) o 5 Types of Incompetent Listening  1. Selective listening – salience  2. Pseudo-listening – fake listening, pretending, people  would catch on, might not be your fault (ex noise) 12 3. Aggressive listening – ambushing, listening to others  solely to attack (ex presidential debates & election)  4. Narcissistic listening – monopolizing, self-absorbed  listening, not paying attention then skewing the  conversation back to you   5. Prejudging – walking into a conversation knowing  what’s going to happen (“know-it-all”) Mon Feb 20 ∙ Verbal Communication  o Exchange of spoken or written language with others during  interactions   Defined by use of language o Serves as a bridge between the different types of media o Language is… A set of symbols a culture recognizes as a means  of communicating  Symbolic – words are symbols used to stand in for verbal  communication    Governed by rules ∙ 1. Constitutive – word meaning (words represent  objects) ∙ 2. Regulative – how we use the language   Flexible  Cultural ∙ High-context vs Low-context cultures  Evolving o Functions of Verbal Communication  Sharing meaning ∙ Denotative (literal meaning/dictionary definition) vs.  Connotative (how our schemas shape our  understanding of the world)  Shaping Thought (the Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis) ∙ Linguistic Determinism: language defines the  boundaries of our thinking ∙ Linguistic Relativity: people speaking different  languages perceive & think about the world in  different ways ∙ Study – Bilingual Speakers o French-Americans French scripture is a lot  more romantic & emotional that English o Chinese was a lot more about Chinese culture, etc.  Naming – we use words as labels Wed Feb 22 13 Performance ∙ “speech acts” – words are part of the visual ∙ Words that help you perform are the “speech act” ∙ Representative – assertion/conclusion, representing  how you feel (literal), “I am in this classroom” ∙ Directive – trying to get the reader to do something  for you, demands/requests/questions ∙ Commissive – committing yourself to future actions,  promise/threat ∙ Expressive – trying to convey some psychological or  emotional state, apologies/ ”thank you” ∙ Declarative – declaring something with the goal of  producing a dramatic effect, engagement  announcement, pregnancy announcement ∙ Creating conversations o A script is a structured pattern of talking ∙ Managing Relationships o Verbal communication helps us convey  emotion, navigate conflicts, self-disclosure  ∙ Cooperative Verbal Communication o Definition: producing messages that…  1. Are spoken in ways that others can easily understand  2. Use language that is informative, honest, relevant, &  clear (cooperative principle) o Utilize “I” & “we” language (taking responsibility)  “you” language is more defensive  ∙ Apologies Require “I” Language o A good apology:  1. Shows appropriate emotions  2. States the violation  3. Self-blame  4. Future behavior  5. Penance or restitution (depending on the severity) o Accounts can weaken apology (blaming your mistake on  external/outside factors) o Different than a justification or excuse  ∙ Barriers to cooperate verbal communication o 1. Polarization – the tendency to describe events, behaviors, &  objects in extremes. Most languages are best equipped to do  that o 2. Allness - the dogmatic (persistent know-it-all), unqualified,  categorical attitude that we know all there is to know about  something; often keeps people from listening to what you’re  14saying, curtails conversation (“all”, “always”, “never”,  “everybody”, “everyone”, “every time”)  Fri Feb 24 o 3. Communication Apprehension – fear or anxiety associated w  an interaction  4 types… ∙ 1. Traitlike CA is a relatively enduring  apprehension towards communicating o Experience anxiety in most situations where  you might have to communicate w others  (except family members or close friends) ∙ 2. Context CA is a consistent apprehension toward  communication in a specific setting or context (ex:  fear of public speaking) o Ex: nervous about all interviews in general ∙ 3. Person-Group CA is a relatively enduring  orientation of feeling apprehensive about  communication w a given person or group of people o Most people feel apprehensive when  communicating w at least some individuals, so  person-group CA is quite common o Ex: nervous about all interviews with Taylor  Swift ∙ 4. Situational CA is an emotional response to  communicating w another person or persons at a  given time o Short-lived or transitory o When the situation passes, the anxiety goes  away o Ex: nervous about a particular interview w  Taylor Swift at 9am tomorrow  How does CA feel? ∙ Red face, sweaty palms, stuttering, twitching,  trembling, shortness of breath, accelerated heart  rate, upset stomach, obsessive thoughts   Outcomes related to HIGH apprehension ∙ Select occupations they perceive as requiring little  communication ∙ Often get jobs less frequently & are offered lower  salaries ∙ Can be seen as less socially attractive (depending on type of CA, typically interpersonal or group) ∙ Report feeling more isolates & secluded 15∙ Report lack of trust in others  o 4. Defensive Communication (aka defensiveness) – impolite  messages delivered in response to suggestions, criticism, or  perceived slights  Dogmatic messages – dismiss other suggestions & refuse  to consider other views because what you say is law  Superiority messages – speaker claims a special  knowledge of status far beyond the other people   Control messages – you experience criticism & you  manipulate the situation  Indifference messages – you claim criticism is  irrelevant/not important  Mon Feb 27 o 5. Verbal Aggression – the tendency to attack others’ self concepts rather than their positions on topics of conversation   Can evolve into bullying (READ ABOUT THIS!!) o 6. Deception – occurs when people deliberately use  uninformative, untruthful, irrelevant, or vague language for the  purpose of misleading others  Concealment (leaving info out) is the most common  ∙ Communication Accommodation Theory (CAT) o Communication similarities & dissimilarities exist in all  conversations  o The way we perceive the communication behaviors of another  determines how we evaluated conversation o Language & behaviors impart info about social status & group  belonging o Norms guide the accommodation process which varies in its  degree of appropriateness o Convergence - When we change our speech styles to be more  like the person we are speaking with   Motivated to converge when… ∙ Seeking approval ∙ Wish to establish relationships ∙ View others’ language as appropriate ∙ Want to be efficient   Ex: changing pitch, slang used, how fast/slow we talk o Divergence - A strategy used to accentuate differences bw  communicators (to not-accommodate)  It is NOT an effort to disagree w another  3 types ∙ 1. Counter-Accommodation – direct ways of  maximizing the difference bw two speakers o Ex: one big blatant statement vs very detailed 16∙ 2. Under-Accommodation – persisting in your  original form of communication regardless of the  other person’s communication behavior ∙ 3. Over-Accommodation – demeaning & patronizing  talk; going above & beyond w vocal amplification,  over repetition o Ex: talking to someone who speaks a different  language (yelling at the new cleaning lady who speaks broken English thinking she’ll  understand you better)  Motivated to diverge… ∙ To maintain a social identity ∙ To show cultural pride & distinctiveness ∙ When power between communicators is important ∙ Diverge via over-accommodation is often a  misguided attempt to accommodate o Research on CAT  Moderate Language Accommodation & Culture ∙ Ex: trying to speak the language & respect the  culture in a foreign country  Research on stepparent-stepchild interactions ∙ Non-Verbal Communication o Definition: message transmission through non-spoken physical  & behavioral cues o Can be intentional or unintentional o 4 main distinctions:  1. Uses multiple channels (at once) ∙ Ex: sound, touch, sight, etc (senses)  2. Way more ambiguous (many different meanings)  3. Has fewer rules (more flexible); more informal  4. Has more meaning (60-93% of meaning within ALL  interactions) ∙ Can account for cultural/gender differences o Functions of Nonverbal Communication  Convey Meaning ∙ 1. Reiterate something/repetition ∙ 2. Contradict (using nonverbal to go against your  verbals) Wed Mar 1 ∙ 3. Enhance/complement ∙ 4. Replace/substitute (no verbal at all) 17∙ 5. Spotlight (highlight certain words with tone or  inflection in voice)  Expressing Emotion ∙ Affect displays (showing through face) o Intentional or unintentional o Facial cues & vocal cues  Presenting Self  Managing Interactions ∙ Have to be able to read the person you are  interacting with  Defining Relationships ∙ Intimacy ∙ Relationship/power roles o Influences on Nonverbal Communication  Gender…. 4 patterns seen consistently among men &  women ∙ 1. Sending/receiving (women are better) ∙ 2. Facial expressions (women show more) ∙ 3. Eye contact (women hold gazes better/more, ex  flirting) ∙ 4. Personal physical space (men have a larger  personal space, more territorial)  Mon Mar 13 o Nonverbal Communication Codes: ways of transmitting info  nonverbally  8 different codes… (to strengthen skills) ∙ 1. Kinesics – communication through body  movements o Facial expressions o Eye contact  o Posture (immediacy/degree of interest &  power) o Gestures   Embelms – specific verbal objects  Illustrators – accent/illustrate the verbal  message  Regulators – control people we are  interacting with   Adaptors – touching to get a  physiological or psychological response ∙ 2. Vocalics – vocal characteristics used to  communicate nonverbally  o Tone (richness & breathiness of voice) 18o Pitch (high vs low) o Loudness (volume) o Speech rate (fast vs slow) ∙ 3. Haptics – using touch to communicate nonverbally o 6 types of touch…  Functional-professional (coach-athlete)  Social-polite (social norms &  expectations)  Friendship-warmth (liking towards  someone)  Love-intimacy (strong level of intimacy)  Sexual-arousal (physiological)  Aggressive-hostile (physical violence) o Culture plays a big role  ∙    4. Proxemics – communication through the use of  personal space/distance o Territoriality o 4 levels of closeness…  Intimate space (0-18in) – embracing,  touching, whispering  Personal space (1.5-4ft) – interactions  among good friends or family members  Social distance (4-12ft) – interactions  among acquaintances  Public distance (12+ft) – used for public  speaking  ∙    5. Chronemics – using time to communicate during  interpersonal encounters o M-time (monochromic – time is SUPER  important) o P-time (polychromic – time is NOT a resource) ∙    6. Physical Appearance – visible attributes such as  hair, clothing, body type, etc o Strongly influences others’ perceptions of you ∙    7. Artifacts – things/objects we possess that we use  to express our identities to others  o Ex: ring on finger, house, car o Artifactual codes ∙    8. Environment – physical features of our  surrounding  o Influences interpersonal communication  through…  Fixed features – stable (walls, floors)  Semi-fixed features – not permanent  (furniture, lighting) 19Wed Mar 15 o Expectancy Violation Theory (EVT)  Definition: expectations for another’s nonverbal  communication develops based on one’s experience with… ∙    1. A specific person ∙    2. A relationship type ∙    3. Social rules/norms  Possible outcomes… ∙    Arousal (psychological or physiological) o Flight or fight, discomfort ∙    Conscious thinking/thoughts ∙    Evaluation of violation (positive or negative) o Reward value (high reward = positive  evaluation; low reward = negative evaluation)  EVT empirical evidence ∙    1. EVT & interviewing o Most likely to get a job = strong resume status + high eye contact ∙    2. EVT & Long-Term Romantic Partners o When you really love someone & they do  something bad/negative, you consider it  temporary o When you don’t love someone & they do  something positive you consider it suspicious  w negative reward  ∙    3. EVT While Dating o Men have higher sexual expectations, & even  high when women initiate the date o However, less intimacy happens when women  initiate the date (the opposite happens) ∙    Conflict Styles o Conflict occurs when… people perceive incompatible goals,  scarce resources, or interference in achieving their objectives o Conflict is a process & is dynamic  ~66.4% of conflicts have a focus shift at some point o Conflict Styles vs Tactics  Styles – patterned response  Tactics – the means used to carry out their general  approach to conflict  Fri Mar 17 o 5 basic conflict styles… (+ 1 more) 20 1. Competitiveness – I win/you lose, I presume my goals w  no regard to other people, overriding position, verbal  dominance, perseverance ∙    Good when… a quick decision is necessary (may be  unpopular but necessary), it shows you care o Ex: president of the US ∙    Bad when… you need unanimous commitment or  teambuilding, you have no power to back up your  threats ∙    Destructive Competition  o Sometimes we become too verbally  competitive or individualistic in our behavior  o Threat is credible it… person has power, the  source is willing or administer punishment, &  punishment is something you want to avoid o Negative Sanction (destructive)  & source controls outcome = threat (most common)  & source does NOT control outcome =  warning o Positive Sanction  & source controls outcome = promise  & source does NOT control outcome =  recommendation  2. Collaboration – problem solver, people should strive for  this, win/win approach by confronting the fight & working  for an integrative solution, most time consuming & energy exerted, everyone wins ∙    Good… time & energy, when the relationship is  important ∙    Bad… when manipulative, if used too often, when  issues really are not open for collaboration ∙    To avoid responsibility  3. Compromising – intermediate style, expedient mutually  acceptable solution, both parties win/lose, less depth &  time consuming than collaborative, gave up more than  competing but less than accommodating ∙    Give a little, get a little ∙    Good… some solution is better than stalemate, 2  parties have equal power, cooperating important but time pressure ∙    Bad… when you really can’t make concessions, when trading/bargaining means you give up principals,  long-term objectives 21 4. Accommodate – to smooth over, self-sacrifice, doing  what the other person wants, you win/I lose  ∙    Good when… you don’t care about issue, when  you’re powerless, no wish to block the other ∙    Bad… bc you harbor resentment, habitually used to  gain acceptance, when others want you to  collaborate or compromise   5. Avoidance – withdraw, remove yourself physically or  psychologically from a conflict, or not instigating a conflict when you really are upset ∙    Good when… the timing is wrong for a fight, you  need more info, system doesn’t reward conflict, ppl  don’t want to invest the energy, issue is trivial, low  power but want to block the other ∙    Bad when… issues are important (to you or the  other), issues won’t go away, when it signals you  don’t care  Mon Mar 20 ∙    Avoiding topics vs. people o Kitchensinking – bringing up a bunch of  irrelevant things during the past during  conflict o Gunnysacking – holding grievances for a long  time then all at once exploding it all out (a lot  can result in health problems & affect well being)  Can lead to cumulative annoyance  Psuedoconflict – perception that conflict  exists but it doesn’t  ∙    Common Forms of Avoidance o Skirting – changing the topic & avoiding  conflict by making a joke o Sniping – being super negative then just  leaving  3 3 Assertiveness 221.5 0.5 0.5 Cooperativeness  6. Rhetorical Sensitivity – change conflict communication  style based on the demands of the situation ∙    Adaptable ∙    Deal well w ambiguity (critical thinkers) ∙    Often think about the larger picture before they  speak ∙    Highly competent communicators ∙    Adapts to the communicator AND the situation ∙    Use tactics wisely & vary them o Having a really strong conflict style can be a disadvantage bc  you lose your surprise element (other people can provoke or  manipulate you) o Sequence of Styles  If primary doesn’t work, you typically have a back-up… ∙    Avoidance  competitive ∙    Collaborative  avoidant ∙    Competitive  compromise ∙    Accommodating  compromising  ∙    Power o What is power?... The capacity to which one can influence &/or  control people & events o Interpersonal power is the degree of influence one person  exerts over another in a relationship o Characteristics of Power  Present in all meaningful social interactions ∙    Symmetrical power = when everyone is equal(ish) ∙    Complementary = unequal power  Can be utilized ethically or unethically  Not innate (not born)… it is granted/earned (relational)  Goes hand-in-hand w conflict o Power currencies – a resource/skill that others value, given that  person has influence others who value/need it (PRICE)   Personal – any characteristic about yourself that others  find desirable ∙    If you lack the other 4 currencies, you can still  achieve a degree of influence/stature w strong  personal currencies   Resource Control – materialistic needs (money, property,  food) ∙    Can be used to obtain other currencies (like intimate currencies) Wed Mar 22 23  Interpersonal Linkages – one’s position in the larger  system (where are you within the communication  exchange?) ∙    Social network currency – being linked w a network  of individuals that hold significant influence within a specific concept ∙    “who you know” currencies   Communication Skills – conversation skills, persuasive  ability, listening skills, group leadership, the ability to  communicate care & kindness ∙    Intimate currency – when you share a close bond w  someone that no one else shares   Expertise – special skills, knowledge, or talents ∙    The higher your specialty &/or the more unique that  skill is, the more expertise power you possess ∙    Ex: medical students try out all fields  o Power & Culture  Power-distance – the degree to which people view the  unequal distribution of power as acceptable ∙ HIGH-power distance = normative for people of  differing social/professional status to be widely  separated by power (remember Hawaii example) ∙ LOW-power distance = people in high-status  positions strive to minimize the distance o Relational Theory of Power  Power is a property of the social relationship rather than a quality of the individual (a product of the relationships)  Power dynamics are fluid, changing, & can shift during a  conflict  PAB=DBA “the power of A over B is equal to the  dependence of B over A”  PBA = DAB “the power of B over A is equal to the  dependence of A over B” ∙ Ex: your boss depends on your loud voice to give a  speech & you depend on him for you pay o Dyadic Power Theory  Developed to explain patterns of dominant & submissive  behavior in romantic relationships   Examines CONTENT of interactions  Assumes: ∙ Power is an integral part of any relationship ∙ People make judgements about how much power  they have in relation to their partner (relative  perceived power) 24 Dominance refers to interactional patterns in which one  actor’s assertion of control is met by acquiescence from  another  ∙ So, dominance is about the tactics people use to  exert or express power  ∙ Use of dominance/control strategies is curvilinearly  related to power o The Chilling Effect  Occurs when individuals stop discussing relationships  issues out of fear of their partner’s negative reactions ∙ Low-power individuals are unlikely to express  grievances if they fear that retaliation, violence, or  termination of the relationship will result o Nonverbal Power Communication  1. Confident, poised, open posture  2. More eye gaze  3. Composed/relaxed facial expressions  4. More relaxed body  5. Less smiling  6. Fewer hesitations, less stuttering  UNIT 3 Mon Mar 27 ∙ Romantic Relationships o Liking = feeling of attraction & respect that we typically have  for our friends  Affection – sense of warmth & fondness  Respect – admiration for a person apart from how he/she  treats & communicates with you o Loving = deep & intense emotional experience compromised  of…  Intimacy (closeness & union)  Caring (concerned for partner’s welfare)  Attachment (longing to be in their presence) o Passionate vs Companionate Love  Companionate – deeply intertwined lives, invested in each  other, strong liking ∙ Ex: your best friend, your dog  Passionate – all about attachment, longing for union w a  person ∙ Constant positivity bias 25∙ Not culturally specific ∙ Not gender or age specific ∙ Negatively related w relationship duration  Biggest difference bw loving someone & being in love is  sexual attraction (80% of people believe so) ∙ Knapp’s Stages of Relationship Development o 5 stages of coming together o 5 stages of coming apart o Relationships may go through all, some, or none of the stages o Relationships may skip stages or follow their own unique  trajectory  o COMING TOGETHER  1. Initiating: goal is to show that you are interested in  making contact & to show the personal that you are worth talking to ∙ Size up, check-out, draw on visual info, come up w  appropriate greeting ∙ Low in breath & depth ∙ Predicted Outcome Value Theory o If reward seems high, you are more likely to  talk to the person  ∙ In 2010, more than 16 million people were using  online dating  2. Experimenting: begin searching for common ground bw the two people ∙ Exchange demographics, small talk, find common  interests, casual “light” dating  3. Intensifying: aka “coming together” stage; feelings  become stronger & are communicated more directly ∙ Meta communication, lots of time spent together,  increase in social support, stated commitment,  secrets are revealed, sexual activity & physical  intimacy begins ∙ “we” language & pet names increase   4. Integrating: lovers being to take on identity as a social  unit ∙ “we” & “our” language becomes a norm ∙ Personalities mesh as one; sexual activity takes  precedence; exchange of belongings; public  recognizes & treats you as a couple  ∙ Deepest level of info sharing ∙ Cohabitating (sliding vs deciding)  5. Bonding: symbolic & formal public ritual occurs to show the world that their relationship exists  26∙ Ex: marriage license, wedding ring ∙ Relational commitment  Wed Mar 29 o COMING APART   6. Differentiating: beliefs, attitudes, & values that  distinguish you from your partner come to dominate your  thoughts & communication ∙ Partners become more individualistic; bickering ∙ Can be temporary is partners recognize &  communicate through it  7. Circumscribing: focus shift from differences to setting  limits & boundaries on communication within the dyad ∙ Fear deep discussions; avoid conflict altogether;  restricted quantity & quality of info; create “safe  zones” for conversation; intimacy goes way down  8. Stagnating: a continuation of circumscribing, insofar as  communication becomes even less frequent; no more  progression in relationship ∙ No more safe topics; communication is pointless;  feel resigned or trapped ∙ Reminiscing on what once was (when things were  good in the relationship)  9. Avoiding: avoid each other both physically & via  communication  ∙ Ignoring texts, changing relationship status on  social media, going out when partner is home   10. Termination: the actual break up ∙ Discuss the breakup & conditions of it; talk about  past/present/future; verbal & nonverbal often  indicate lack of intimacy  Fri Mar 31 ∙ Flirting Styles (not in book) o “How we communicate romantic interest” o 5 styles  1. Physical ∙ Expression of sexual interest through body language ∙ Develop relationships quickly ∙ More sexual chemistry w partner  2. Polite ∙ Proper manners, non-sexual communication ∙ Longer, more meaningful relationships  3. Playful  27∙ Little interest in romance ∙ Flirting to boost self-esteem, to have fun!  4. Sincere  ∙ Intense emotional connection ∙ Intimate communication is important  5. Traditional ∙ Men should make the first more ∙ Women are less likely to be direct ∙ Men w this style get to know woman for longer time  first  ∙ Romantic Attraction o Proximity  The Mere Exposure Effect – you are more attracted to  those you have frequent contact with  The dorm study o Physical Attractiveness  Beautiful is Good Effect – we innately assume that if you  are attractive you are intelligent & a competent  communicator  Matching – we are attracted to& develop long-term  relationships w people who we are similar in  attractiveness to  o Similarity  Birds-of-a-Feather Effect – we are attracted to people we  view as similar to ourselves  Study: similarity in personality traits ∙ 2 personality traits that are most likely to flock  together = agreeableness & low neuroticism  o Reciprocal Liking  Both communicate clearly that you like each other  Most common factor that leads to love o Resources  Social Exchange Theory – what resources the person  offers ∙ Asserts that you are drawn to people that offer  resources appealing to you ∙ 2 things happen… o 1. You think about rewards/resources (is it  what I really want?) o 2. Can I get it better elsewhere?... Evaluate  equity (should be relatively equal) Mon Apr 3 ∙ Lee’s 6 Love Styles 28o 1. Eros – Physical Love  Passion, physical attraction, sexual intimacy escalates  faster, intense communicators  May have trouble settling into long-term relationships o 2. Storge – Compassionate Love  Friendship is the most valuable asset, shared values,  overall compatibility, more interested in stability &  dependability than passion  Relatively enduring, can get boring o 3. Ludus – Game Playing Love  Playful, not super focused on commitment, slow to develop relationships, like the challenge/chase/pursuit to get the  person  Seen more in younger people, before you really want  commitment o 4. Mania – Possessive Love  Could be temporary, more demanding/dependent, need to  feel in control of relationship, interrogative  communication, get jealous a lot easier  Usually after a bad break up, relationship moves quickly o 5. Agape – Unselfish Love  All about the feelings, selflessness, deep love & concern  for their partner, willing to sacrifice for partner or greater  good of relationship  Accommodate too much & lose sense of self o 6. Pragma – Practical Love  Looking for someone who fits standards & criteria,  evaluates goals, shared values are critical  Take a long time to emotionally commit o Research on Love Styles Shows…  Eros & Agape are positively associated with: ∙ Constructive approach to conflict ∙ Ease in communicating intimacy & passion ∙ *Ludus is negatively associated with above  Mania is positively associated with: ∙ An obliging approach to conflict  ∙ Accommodation  Agape & Storge are least likely to use the “secrets test” w  their significant others (trying to bait the other person to  test loyalty) ∙ Ludus & Mania are most likely  ∙ Romantic Betrayal 29o An act that goes against expectations of a romantic relationship  & thus causes pain to partner (sexual & emotional infidelity,  lying/deception) o Dealing w Betrayal…  Confrontation  Forgive & forget  Anger towards transgression (anything that goes against  relationship, extreme or tiny)  Ending the relationship o Jealousy  Protective reaction to a perceived threat to a valued  relationship  Blended emotion or anger, fear, & sadness  Can lead to wedging (intentionally trying to split up  relationship) o Relational Intrusion  Violation of one’s independence & privacy by a person  who desires an intimate relationship  Can be done through “monitoring & controlling” OR  “invasion of privacy” Wed Apr 5 ∙ Family o Definition: a network of people who share their lives over long  periods of time & are bound by marriage, blood, or commitment o Characteristics of Family  Possess a strong sense of identity  Use communication to define boundaries  Emotional bonds underlie family relationships  Shared history  May share genetic material  Multiple & competing roles o Types of Family  Nuclear – traditional style (husband, wife, kid(s))  Extended – all the other people (grandparents, aunt/uncle, cousins)  Stepfamily – remarried w a child from previous  relationship (aka blended family or remarried family)  Cohabitating couples – 2 unmarried, romantically involved people that live together ∙ Study (Haas): same sex cohabitating couples o Q: why cohabitate if you can’t get married?  1. Symbolizes commitment  2. Provides emotional support  3. Makes them a family  30 Single Parent – only one adult w sole responsibility of  raising child (27% of children in US live in single-parent  households) o Attachment Theory  Our communication & interactions w caregivers  powerfully shape our beliefs regarding the functions,  rewards, & dependability of interpersonal relations  Help shape two dimensions regarding our thoughts,  feelings, & behavior (adult version) ∙ 1. Attachment Anxiety – how much you fear  rejection ∙ 2. Attachment Avoidance – how much you desire  close interpersonal ties o 4 Attachment Styles  1. Secure: low anxiety, low avoidance ∙ Comfortable w intimacy  ∙ Warm & supportive relationships ∙ Willing to be vulnerable ∙ Research shows more empathetic & responsive ∙ Most secure relationships seen in older people  2. Preoccupied: high anxiety, low avoidance ∙ Love the closeness but fear rejection ∙ Overly concerned about others’ thoughts/views ∙ More clingy ∙ Seek validation & approval ∙ Emotionally driven in conflict  3. Dismissive: low anxiety, high avoidance ∙ Don’t fear rejection, don’t need closeness ∙ Close relationships don’t take priority  ∙ Value self-reliance  ∙ Higher view of self & lower view of others ∙ Does not show emotions readily ∙ Conflict leads to quick exit ∙ Preoccupied & dismissive DO NOT mesh well  together  4. Fearful: high anxiety, high avoidance ∙ Scared of rejection & relationships as a whole ∙ Expectation that intimacy will hurt them  ∙ More dependent individuals ∙ Ex: relationships w a big age gap or big money gap  (power differences) Fri Apr 7 31o Research on Attachment  Study (Roberto): parental verbal aggression ∙ Parents of children w a secure attachment style  were perceived as lower in verbal aggression &  higher in responsiveness  Study (Kennedy): identity gaps in marriage ∙ Fearful attachment style is even stronger in wives;  husbands w a preoccupied attachment style  reported most identity gaps (what does it mean to  be “husband”?) o Family Communication Patterns Theory  Family communication patterns originate from the ways  by which families establish social reality for themselves  Two dimensions associated w communication bw family  members: ∙ 1. Conversation Orientation – the degree to which  family members are encouraged to participate in  unrestrained communication (talk about a wide  range of topics) ∙ 2. Conformity Orientation – the degree to which  family members want similarity/diversity in thoughts o 4 Patterns of Family Communication…  1. Consensual: high conversation, high conformity ∙ Openness is encouraged ∙ High disclosure, active listening, & high levels of  expressions of care, concern, & support in family  ∙ Sharing one’s viewpoint is encouraged, but family  emphasizes only 1 viewpoint ∙ More competitive conflict styles  2. Pluralistic: high conversation, low conformity ∙ Openness is still encouraged, but not restrained by  view ∙ Children’s contributions to discussions are valued ∙ Highest rate of conflict resolution out of 4 family  type patterns  3. Protective: low conversation, high conformity  ∙ Communication serves the role of enforcing rules,  obeying parents, parent-child power differences ∙ Little value in exchanging ideas & discussion ∙ Low levels of disclosure ∙ Avoidant conflict style  32
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