SOC030 Final Study Guide
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This 11 page Study Guide was uploaded by Katrina Iobst on Tuesday May 5, 2015. The Study Guide belongs to SOC030 at a university taught by Dr. Silver in Fall. Since its upload, it has received 319 views.
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Date Created: 05/05/15
0 Lesson 115 Home Context 8 Parenting Supplement Parenting in SameSex Families 0 Approx 5000 samesex households in the US only 1 of couple households in US Evenly split gay amp lesbian Evenly split married amp cohabiting 84 of samesex households have kids 0 YouTube Example Life in gay family for a child In My Shoes Stories of Youth with LGBT Parents excerpt 65000 adopted kids amp 14000 foster kids 0 Gay amp lesbian people typically take in quothard to place kids 0 Children over age 6 0 Children with special needs 0 Across races 0 Effectiveness of samesex parents no found differences between GL amp similar heterosexual parents Sexuality doesn t impact anything only determined by social class etc o Psychological functioning behavior amp mental problems 0 Cognitive amp intellectual functioning 0 Parenting styles 0 Parentchild closenesslove o Schoolsocial adjustment 0 American Academy of Pediatrics 2013 0 Supports civil marriage for samegender couples amp full adoptionsfoster care rights for them 0 Take perspective of child stability amp security of child s development 0 They will probably have more stable family lives via marriage Lesson 12 Family Change via Divorce Readings 1 quotNo Easy Answers Why the Popular View of Divorce is Wrongquot by Constance Ahrons Debunks some commonly held ideals about divorced people 1 What is the de nition of a good divorce What are the characteristics Good divorce quotthe divorce does not destroy meaningful relationshipsquot Parents cooperate when it comes to caring for their children the children have ties to both parents and the extended families associated with each 2 What is the de nition of a bad divorce 3 4 5 Bad divorces are the typical divorces associated with the word divorce where parents cannot get along and children are cut off from one parent typically the father and the extended family associated with that parent Which type of divorce good or bad is more visible in our culture Why Bad divorces are more visible because they t along with the social belief that the nuclear family is the only acceptable normal way to rear children We are more likely to pay attention to the failures of abnormal families because it validities our beliefs than the success of abnormal families Do all children of divorce have lifelong problems This is part of the myths she discusses What factors make a difference The majority of children who had parents divorce grow up to lead normal lives The de ning factor isn t whether or not their parents stayed together but the quality of the relationships surrounding them Know each of the myths and her answer to it Parents should stay married for the kids open con ict between parents in a marriage setting is worse for kids than divorced parents with little to no con ict ACOD have lifelong problems see 4 Divorce means you re no longer family marriages can be rearranged in positive possible more positive ways after divorce with stepparents and stepfamilies being considered family and contributing positive relationships Divorce leaves children without fathers though mothers are awarded full or primary custody of children 85 of the time many children claim their relationship with their father improves after divorce Exspouses are incapable of getting along parents who divorce need to have a relationship to be cooperative and effective parents Divorce turns everyone into exfamily meaningful relationships continue after divorce we don t often have the correct terms to define these relationships Stepparents aren t real parents stepparents are stereotyped as meanevil they have no legal rights they start a relationship with 2 strikes against them 6 Why does she think the myths we have matter quotThe myths paint a false picture of divorce one that assumes family ties are irretrievably broken so that postdivorce family relationships appear to be nonexistentquot 7 What is the concept of cultural lag quotThe difference between what is real experienced in our culture and what we hold as idealquot 8 How does she recommend that people decide if they should divorce or not o Is the unhappiness in your marriage making you so depressed or angry that your children s needs go unmet because you can t parent effectively 0 Do you and your spouse have a cold and distant relationship that makes the atmosphere at home unhealthy for your children 0 Do you and your spouse lack mutual respect caring or interests setting a poor model for your children 0 Would the financial hardships be so dire that your children will experience a severely reduced standard of living 9 What are the main ideas from this article Painting divorce as disaster oversimpli es the reality Divorce is painful but does not remove the bonds between the people involved 10Can stepparents become like real parents What factors play a role in this Stepparents can become like real parents by being recognized as a valuable relationship by all those involved in the children s lives This would depend on cooperation from all adults 11What does she believe about divorce She believes divorce can be a positive thing for some people It does not destroy a family or the meaningful relationships they form it just rearranges the family and its legal ties 2 quotLooking for Lovequot by Stephanie Staal Was her inability to trust men amp keep long relationships due to her parents divorce I 1 Why is she writing this She sees patterns in her relationships of how they fall apart and wonder if the lack of trust and desire to be in control stems from the fact her parents are divorced 2 Who does she interview for this book Over a hundred adult children of divorce 3 What are some of the ways that parents39 divorce affects children and their relationships as adults On the outside ACODs may be more open to divorce or marry young to nd a family to call their own On the inside however are the patterns how ACODs approach relationships such as an aversion to romantic relationships or a constant need for relationships 4 What are the 3 styles39 people used in relationships and what are their goals or priorities as she discusses them in the reading 1 Wary Investors they do venture into relationships but set highrigid expectations for their partners to test the probability of being disappointed They also strive to remain in control of the relationship so they will hurt the other person before they themselves are hurt 2 CommitmentPhobes their relationships are very short and very uninvolved if they allow themselves to get into relationships at all They gure that they cannot trust anyone to be there for them so they rely solely on themselves 3 Nesters they see love as a onestop train and settle for anyone who will offer them love because they want a place to belong They will settle for less if it means they can have a relationship or a marriage at all 5 What are the main points of this reading Divorce can negatively impact how we behave in relationships as adults However acknowledging and understanding these behaviors is a necessary step in creating a healthy relationship without constant fear or inescapable desire 6 How has the increase in divorce affected young people39s ideas and behavior about marriage We live in a divorce culture wellaware of the possibility and probability of divorce The high frequency can make young people question if marriage is a good idea at all This has produced the phenomenon of people remaining single and cohabiting 7 What does the author believe about love for adult children with divorced parents The author believes that adult children with divorced parents do not have to fall into the pattern and divorce like their parents have Understanding the Divorce Rate 0 Graph of Divorces per 1000 married women 19212011 0 Varies not a straight line uctuates along with speci c periodsevents in history Dip during depression survival gt marital happiness High during WW2 DearJohn marriages PTSD Drop during baby boom good economy cultural emphasis on families Peaks during 805 women could support themselves 0 Since 2011 annual divorce rate has been 2 0 Trend line is generally increasing 0 50 estimate sociologists estimate that about 50 of recent marriages will end in divorce risk for entire lifetime though longer marriages lower risk 0 Divorce culture consequence of high raterisk of divorce that in uences our behavior choices and attitudes o Skeptical of relationships 0 Married at later ages spend time investing in selfsupport spend a lot of time searching for the quotright onequot Divorce Process Ecological fallacy when we believe research results averages for a group are predictions that are true for each person 0 Process of Divorce with children 1 Life in 2parent biological family what s going on in the home context marriage shapes divorce Primary bond breaks down 0 Less trust amp communication lots of contempt criticism stonewalling 0 Possible affair o Characterized by Level of education Money Relationship with each other hate each other s guts Friends Relationship with children Alcoholdrug problem illnesses 2 Separation event someone moves out usually the dad 0 Everyone outside family realizes there s a problem 0 Often children stay with their mom 3Adjusting process amp hope for a better life Factors Affecting Children s Adjustment 0 Quality of parenting parents have control of how the divorce goes but many do not take the control that they could 0 Dealing with legal side of divorce amp emotions on top of parenting Amount of con ict between parents 0 Fight in front of kids Attitude about each other in front of kids 0 Relationship with nonresident parent 0 Bad if resident parent sets up road blocks or talks bad about the other 0 Quality gt quantity keeping up through phone etc counts if not physically close 0 Current technology makes it easy to keep the relationships separate so no negative energy of other parent involved 0 Emotional support from parents others 0 No bad talk about other parent parent doesn t realize it hurts the child if you can t say something good don t say it 0 Okay to love both parents want relationship 0 Child is not put quotin the middlequot 3 Important Experiences 1 Different POVs 0 Parents see divorce as a way to a happier freer life 0 Kids see it as the splitting of their lives 2 The need for new norms families are little sanctuaries 0 Social norm shared cultural understandings and expectations for behavior in a given situation Clear rules Guide behavior Group unity Can make us feel like a family Ex Dinner Group or not Talk about the day Christmas Where you eat dinner open presents traditions 0 During divorce old norms don t apply anymore challenge or oppo un y 0 Changing norms is normal all families must change norms at times 0 Pile up of stressors if they happen all at once 3 Emotional amp structural complexity 0 Tips for divorcing families 1Be aware of adjustment amp emotional complexity parents have been aware of it for longer than children Different POVs Kids need amp love both parents Keep kids out of adult issues amp emotions 2Work with structural complexity 3Minimize moving changes new partners Especially during rst 2 years compounds the feeling of loss from change Focus on kids and their stability during transition period Social capital people who know you and want the best for you Extended family teachers mentors etc Keep social capital around don t move How Do We Think of Divorce Socialization we are around divorce even if we ve never experienced it in our own families 0 We form our beliefs via socialization and it affects how we react if it happens to us 0 Ex divorce cakes ads for divorce law rms a young child at a divorce pa y Dominant cultural messages about divorce 0 Negative Bitter enemies Want to destroy each other nancially emotionally physically No longer care at all Children amp families are destroyed o PositiveNeutral Divorce is no big deal Chance for a better life Personal happiness is most important re ects individualized marriage Beliefs affect behavior the experience of divorce may be more dif cult because of these cultural beliefs 0 YouTube example Alternative messages 0 Happily Ever After Can remain a family despite a divorce quotA family doesn t have to end because a marriage doesquot Divorce is a learning experience It s painful but survivable Protection of children is key Goal of cooperation amp peace You re still a family OOOOO Lesson 13 Stepfamilieg Readings 1 quotBonding and Claimingquot by Marsiglio Focuses on stepfathers 1 What does the author mean by a man claiming39 or bonding39 with his stepchildren Claiming How a stepfather attempts to get involved in a stepchild s life and claim rights and responsibilities towards the child Bonding How a stepfather creates emotional ties with the stepchild 2 What factors make it most likely that a stepfather will claim and bond with a stepchild as his own A high degree of conviction for claiming the child biological children to help base the relationship adoption of the child transition of personal identity as the child s father mindfulness of the child s personality and likes and dislikes 3 What do we learn from this reading about stepfathers39 feelings and relationship with their stepchildren Many stepfathers feel that their stepchildren are their own and see themselves as virtually on par with the child s biological father 4 How do these men39s experiences and feelings compare to some of the messages in our culture about stepfathers Many cultural messages about stepfathers are negative one in particular regards stepfathers and teenage girls and the sexual undertones associated with them Some men struggle to show physical affection for fear of the wrong idea being displayed especially in public 5 How do children in uence stepfathers39 process of claiming or bonding with them Children s resistance is the most prominent deterrence for a father claiming and bonding with his stepchildren Some are completely uninterested in a personal relationship and others may require legitimacy before recognizing a stepfather as an emotional father 6 Does the author think stepfathers in uence their stepchildren39s Hves The author does believe stepfathers in uence lives because they contribute relationships that the children often respond to positively 2 quotFathers The Most Vulnerable Relationship and How Children Work it Outquot by Ahrons Focuses on biological fathers 1 What is the author studying in this reading and why The author is studying the relationships between fathers and their children after divorce to shed light that the negative view of fathers after divorce is a stereotype not always the truth 2 What factors contributed to relationships with fathers that stayed the same improved and got worse Stayed the same those who lived with their fathers full or half post divorce or those who saw them at least 2 weekends a month Improved a new involvement postdivorce maturity or a better relationship with the father while a decrease in the relationship with the mother Got worse Resentment over remarriage new lack of money or new lifestyle changes lesser than that of their fathers quotun tnessquot from alcoholism or abuse or in delity as the cause of the divorce 3 What most often happened to children39s relationship with their father after divorce Half of the adults interviewed said that their relationships with their fathers improved after divorce 4 What advice does the author give to mothers about the relationship between kids and their father Mothers are often the facilitator between children and their divorced fathers and it is up to them to be open to children s desires to see their fathers and to maintain a good image of him at least in front of the children 5 What is her message to fathers Fathers must put forth effort to see their children but the effort and putting the children rst often pays off Technology allows far away parents to still be part of their children s lives 6 What are some of the myths about dads after divorce What is the author39s reaction to them She writes about three stereotypes dads after divorce frequently fall into the Disneyland dad dads who are only around to take kids on fun recreational outings to quotmake up forquot being away the deadbeat dad dads who can t pay child support from spending it on other things and the disappearing dad dads who move away into a new stepfamily and never return The author concedes that stereotypes have basis in truth but many fathers do strive to be active in their children s lives 7 What is the role of the child in their relationship with their father The child often makes his or her own determination who is quotresponsiblequot for the divorce which often orients the relationship with their father 8 What does the author conclude about the relationship between children and their fathers many years after divorce They can have good relationships De nitions 0 Stepfamily household of 2 married or cohabiting adults where 1 parent is not the biologicaladoptive parent of the children 0 Merging of 2 cultures mom amp kids dad amp kids 0 2 Types 1 Residential Stepfamily children s primary residence includes stepparent 2 Nonresidential stepfamily children visit home that includes stepparent WellBeing of Children in Stepfamilies Considerations 0 Ecological fallacy predictions not true for everyone 0 Unknown characteristics of parents or children researcher didn t ask because not sure how it effects the results 0 Number of transitions 0 40 of kids today will experience parents divorce amp stepfamily before age 18 0 Advantages amp Disadvantages 0 Advantages More money Additional adult in household help take care of kids 0 Disadvantages Lower wellbeing than kids in 2parents biological families similar to single parent Less connectioncommitment of stepparents to stepchildren Con icts over childrearingparenting style Key Factors of Stepfamily Experience 1 Nuclear Family Norm our culture continues to view nuclear families as what is normal or best 0 quotStepquot can be derogatory considered something you don t want Cinderella quotthe stepchild of quot 2 Complexity of emotions structure new relationships 0 Remarriage Chains involuntary connections between all members of a stepfamily including exspouses and extended family Stepparents could have stepparents and their own exspouses each family has extended family Can add positive expanded world view or negative con ict 0 Past amp current family members have legitimate claims on each other shared memoireshistory blood 0 Open boundaries We typically view the only power over children as parents and those who they grant power to nuclear family closed boundary Step families have more people with the right to step in and have power over children 0 Complexity changes 1 Managing emotions amp different points of view 2 Logistics of time transport sharing 3 Larger family more needs 4 Parenting biological vs stepchildren 5 Developing bonds with new family members 0 Complexity bene ts 1 More nancial resources 2 People to help in an emergency 3 Potential for special friendships with stepparentstepsiblings 4 More potential members 5 Help amp support to the children 6 Stepparent helps biological parent 3 Need for new norms Naming Affection Authority amp parenting Daily rules Holidays amp special occasions OOOOO Suggestions for Stepfamilies Go slow Stepparent is a friend rst slowly approach authority gain trust rst 0 Dependent on age small children preschool age needs to take a little more of an authority position than teens Communication between all involved Recognize the 3 key experiences 0 Don t try to recreate nuclear family Businesslike adult relationships with exes
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