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TULANE / Psychology / PSYC 3390 / Are we attracted to similar personalities?

Are we attracted to similar personalities?

Are we attracted to similar personalities?


Chapter 7: Families

Are we attracted to similar personalities?

- Family systems approach  how each member of a family influences  the family as a whole

- Family subsystems  relationships between mother and child or father  and child or mother and father, etc.  

- Disequilibrium  the result of change in any family member or  subsystem. This disequilibrium will last until the family adjusts to the  change

Parents and Parenting:

- The myth of the “midlife crisis”  many adults actually thrive in their  middle ages, when their children have left home  

- Parenting qualities:

o Demandingness  the number of rules and expectations parents  have for their children’s behavior

o Responsiveness  degree wo which parents show their children  love and warmth

- Parenting styles:

How do peer relationships change during adolescence?

o Authoritative  high in both demandingness and responsiveness o Authoritarian  high in demandingness, low in responsiveness o Permissive  high in responsiveness, low in demandingness o Disengaged/neglectful  low in both  

o Note: traditional cultures don’t often fit into one of the parenting  categories. They are often high in both demandingness and  responsiveness, but they are more intense about both of those  qualities than Americans are

- Reciprocal/bidirectional effects  parents affect their children as much  as children affect them

- Non-shared environment influences  influences experienced  differently among siblings

- Differential parenting  when parents behave in different manners  towards their different children  

Custom complexes:

What is the average age to lose your virginity in europe?

- Typical cultural practices and beliefs that underlie the different  parenting styles

- Custom complexes show that most parenting values child autonomy

Siblings: We also discuss several other topics like Describe the transesterification process?
We also discuss several other topics like What happened to crassus?

- Classifications/patterns in sibling relationships:

o Caregiver  when one sibling acts as a parent to the others, most common for older siblings to younger siblings

o Buddy  siblings are friends, very alike

o Critical  high level of conflict or teasing on both sides (this is a  common type of relationship among siblings)

o Rival  always competing with one another

o Casual  relationship is very relaxed, siblings don’t spend too  much time together, live very separate lives

- Note: conflict relationships are minimal in traditional cultures because  age = status/power


- Attachment theory  the notion that the attachment parents and  babies have is evolutionarily based because kids need to stay close to  their parents for security and protection  

- Secure attachment  infants feel free to explore when they believe  they are safe, but will hold on to their mothers when they are  frightened

- Insecure attachment  when babies do not want to explore but also  resist their mother’s comfort

- Attachment to primary caregiver  the foundation of attachment (ie.  how someone will relate to others) for future relationships  - Internal working model  the theory that interactions with one’s  primary caregiver during infancy affects how one interacts with others  later in life We also discuss several other topics like What is the lowest level of oxygen that will support life?

Emerging Adults Relationship to Parents:

- Often, the relationship between an emerging adult and their parents  will improve when the emerging adult leaves home

- This occurs because emerging adults may be more appreciative of  their parents when they are no longer living with them, and also  because they can better understand their parents’ perspectives

- Staying at home through one’s early 20’s is more common among  Latino, Black, and Asian Americans, because there is more emphasis  placed on family interdependence in these cultures

- ~40% of Americans return to live at home after they initially leave,  which allows them to get back on their feet and decide what they are  going to do next  

The Great Depression:

- Time of massive family upheaval as a result of poverty and loss - This family disequilibrium led to more anger and punishment stemming from fathers in families

- However, as the status of father’s declined, mothers’ statuses often  rose  

- The additional responsibility placed on children during this time  actually had some benefits. Many adolescents had to enter the job  force in order to help their families financially, and this gave them  more of a sense of purpose within their homes.  


- Adolescents who have divorced parents are much more at risk for  depression, anxiety, risky drug and alcohol use, earlier and less safe  sex

- Family structure  the outward characteristics of a family (ex. How  many kids are in the family, what the parents jobs are, etc.) - Family process  the quality of the relationships within the family  - Note: it is conflict, not actual divorce itself, that can be so damaging to  children  Don't forget about the age old question of What are the female accessory glands?

- Divorce often leads to more contact with one’s mother and less with  one’s father  


- Abusive parents are likely to have been abused themselves as children  - Abused adolescents tend to be more aggressive, anti-social, have more depression and anxiety, and tend to perform worse in school - Physical abuse is more likely to be inflicted on boys, but girls are more  likely to be the victims of sexual abuse  Don't forget about the age old question of What are the main laws of thermodynamics?

- Sexually abusive fathers tend not to be aggressive, but rather insecure and awkward around other adults  

- Stepfathers are more likely to commit acts of sexual abuse than real  fathers  

- The effects of sexual abuse are often even more damaging than those  of physical abuse We also discuss several other topics like What is the meaning of chi­ squared?

Running Away:  

- ~1 million adolescents run away from home each year  

- Running away leavens adolescents vulnerable to corruption and  exploitation

- Running away is often a gradual process. Adolescents start spending  less time at home and more time on the streets, and eventually they  stop coming home altogether  

Chapter 5: Gender

Traditional Cultures:

- Girls help mothers with house work and maintain a close relationship  with them throughout adolescence  

- Boys are expected to explore sexually, but girls are expected to stay  virgins until marriage

- Manhood for male adolescents has to be achieved. A boy must prove  that he can provide, protect, and procreate before he can be  considered a man

- Womanhood, on the other hand, is considered inevitable

American Society:

- Work that required any sort of intelligence used to be considered  “unhealthy” for women because it could disrupt their menstrual cycle  - Until the 1920’s, virginity for women until marriage was essential  - Types of manhood:

o Communal manhood  17th - 18th century, the focus of being a  man was having status as the head of the household

o Self-made manhood  19th century, men expected to become  independent from their families in adolescence and emerging  adulthood

o Passionate manhood  20th century, becoming a man includes  self-expression and enjoyment (which replaced self-denial and  control)

- Gender intensification process  the theory that differences between  men and women in intensify in adolescence because of gender  norms/pressures to conform

- Differential gender socialization  making clear what’s socially  acceptable or appropriate for each gender. This process begins early in life, as children learn from their friends, parents, and teachers how  they should behave based on their gender  

- Adolescent girls’ main issue in adolescence is struggling with body  image, while for boys it’s dealing with feelings of aggression  - Cognitive-developmental theory of gender  theory based on Piaget,  that kids develop in stages of understanding gender

- Self-socialization  how children attempt to maintain consistency  between gender norms and their behavior  

- Theory of cognitive development  in formal operations, adolescents  learn to self-reflect, which makes them ask themselves if they are  conforming properly to gender norms

- Gender schema theory  we use gender as a way to organize the world - Excessive traits  thought of as “female” traits, emphasized emotions  and relationships

- Instrumental traits  more “male” traits, such as self-reliance, action,  and force

- The most important qualities in a partner for both men and women  were being kind and honest

- Normal distribution/bell curve  shows that men and women are  actually very alike, and that the differences between them are  miniscule  

- Social roles theory  gendered social roles leads to each gender  enhancing or suppressing differences  

Chapter 9: Love and Sexuality

Dating scripts: the “rules” about how each gender should behave o Boys  proactive script, initiator of the relationship and  everything that follows

o Girls  reactive script, responds to male initiation, passive  

Sternberg’s Theory of Love:

o 3 fundamental qualities of love:  

 Passion  attraction, sexual desire, and the emotions that  come along with those things

 Intimacy  emotional attachment, understanding, mutual  support

 Commitment  promising to stay with the other person  through anything

o These 3 qualities are combined in different ways to form the 7  different forms of love:

 Liking  no romance, (like a friendship), just intimacy

 Infatuation  just passion

 Empty love  just commitment

 Romantic love  passion and intimacy  

 Compassionate love  intimacy and commitment

 Fatuous love  passion and commitment (like a whirlwind  relationship where couple gets married after dating for 2  


 Consummate love  combination of all three, ultimate love  relationship

Falling in Love:

- Consensual validation  people like others who are like them or who  validate them

- Stages of adolescent love: (recognizing the role that peers play in  adolescent relationships)

o Initiation phase  early adolescence, only beginning to explore  love in superficial and brief doses

o Status phase  when adolescents begin to gain confidence in  their relationship abilities, usually when the first real relationship  happens. Adolescents in this stage are very aware of being  judged by their peers  

o Affection stage  more intimacy and sex, friends becomes less  judgmental as they also mature

o Bonding stage  begins in emerging adulthood, serious  relationships, possible talk of marriage and the future, influence  of peers declines  

- Arranged marriages: commitment comes first, then maybe passion,  then intimacy

- Due to globalization, there is an increase in traditional cultures of  adolescents wanting to choose who they date and marry rather than  have their parents choose for them


- Average age of losing one’s virginity is 17 in American and European  countries

- African Americans are more likely to engage in sexual activity earlier  than average, and Asian Americans are much less likely to engage in  these behaviors

- Cultural approaches to sexuality:

o Restrictive cultures  serious punishment for women who have  sex before marriage, and widespread separation of boys and girls until marriage

o Semi-restrictive cultures  includes some prohibitions but they  are not strongly enforced and can be easily evaded. However, if  a woman gets pregnant, the couple is often forced into a  


o Permissive cultures  people are openly encouraged and  expected to have lots of sex (even young children are invited to  explore themselves and others sexually)

o American society used to be restrictive, but has since become  more semi-restrictive  

Gender and Sex:

- Boys on average are much more excited about losing their virginity  than girls are  

- People who have sex at a later age are more likely to have matured  later, have higher academic performance, and be politically  conservative  

- People who have sex at a much earlier age than average are more  likely to use alcohol and drugs, and are also more likely to have grown  up in single-parent and poor households  

- Most American adolescents and emerging adults only use  contraceptives sometimes, because many sexual encounters are  unplanned or infrequent, and because people are embarrassed to buy  contraceptives in stores  

- The US has one of the highest rates of teen pregnancy among  developed countries, due in part to poverty and lack of proper sex  education  

- Developed countries that have the lowest teen pregnancy rates are the ones who are permissive and the ones who are totally restrictive  - White American girls are by far the most likely to abort unwanted  pregnancies

- Babies born to teen moms are more likely to have been born  prematurely and have low birth weight (which often leads to physical,  cognitive, and behavioral problems later in life  

- STI’s:

o Chlamydia  leading cause of infertility, women often do not  know they have it for years, until it is too late

o HPV  most common STI, either results in warts or is  


o Herpes  sores on face, mouth, or genitals. Person will be able to  treat the disease but are likely to experience at least one bad  flare-up during their lives  

o HIV/AIDS  breaks down immune system, terminal disease,  although we have found ways to prolong the lives of those who  have the disease through certain medications  

Chapter 8: Friends and Peers

Notes on Friends:

- Friends become much more important in adolescence as the influence  and role of parents decreases  

- Adolescents would only prefer to talk to their parents (over their  friends) about school and career goals. For anything related to  marriage, sex, or feelings about the opposite sex, adolescents are  much more likely to talk to their friends than their parents

- Adolescents who have secure attachments to their parents are much  more likely to have secure attachments to their friends as well  - Friendships are a great source of happiness but can also cause lots of  stress because friendship includes vulnerability, and this can  sometimes lead to heightened feelings of anger, sadness, or anxiety

Traditional Cultures:

- There are significant gender differences between adolescents’  relationships to their parents and friends:

o Boys spend much more time with friends than girls do

o Girls have less time with friends but develop more close and  intimate relationships with their mothers and the rest of their  female relatives  

- In general, traditional cultures are much more family-oriented because  of their collectivistic nature

Changes in Friendships:

- The development of intimacy is the greatest distinguisher between  childhood and adolescent friendships  

- Around age 10, perspective taking and empathy begin to develop,  which leads to intimacy (the sharing of thoughts and emotions, which  contributes to identity formation)

- Close friendships most often end because of a breach of trust  - There are gender differences between the ways that girls and boys  build intimacy with friends. Boys tend to bond through social activities,  while girls get close to one another through self-disclosure - Adolescent friends tend to be similar in: education, media and leisure  preferences, their participation in risky behavior, and their ethnicity - Note: interethnic friendships are much more common in Europe  

Peer Pressure:

- “Friend influence” is actually a more accurate term than peer pressure  because peers do not influence adolescents as much as their true  friends do

- Friend influence matters in both encouraging and discouraging risky  behavior  

- Selective association  adolescents tend to choose friends who are  similar to them, because this minimizes opportunity for conflict  - Friend influence is highest during mid-adolescence

Bernedt: 4 Types of Adolescent Mutual Support:

- Informational  getting advice or guidance about personal problems - Instrumental  helping with concrete tasks such as homework or  chores

- Companionship  being able to rely on one another during social  activities/gatherings (ex. Having someone to sit with on the bus) - Esteem  congratulating friends successes and consoling them when  they fail  

- Positive friendships lead to better academic performance, lower rates  of depression, and higher self-esteem  

Emerging Adult Friendships:

- Much more likely to have friends of the opposite sex during emerging  adulthood  

- The importance of friendships begins to decline as emerging adults  start entering into romantic relationships  

Cliques and Crowds:

- Crowds are general social categories, groups with which one might  associate but does not necessarily know every other group member on a personal level  

- Cliques tend to much smaller groups of close friends

- 5 types of crowds in schools:

o Elites

o Athletes

o Academics

o Deviants

o Others (students who do not stand out in any particular way

- Crowds become less hierarchical as adolescents age, and the  significance of them diminishes  

- Participation observation  a scientific way for researchers to study  adolescent crowds, where the researcher takes part in various  activities alongside the adolescents to see how they relate to one  another  

- Sociometry  a way of studying what makes certain people popular and others not whereby students rate the social status of other students  based on their attractiveness, intelligence, friendliness, and  aggressiveness

- Rejected adolescents  adolescents who are actively disliked by their  peers

- Neglected adolescents  adolescents who might be overly quiet or shy, do not have many friends, not because their peers don’t like them but  rather because they don’t really notice their existence

- Controversial adolescents  adolescents who are greatly liked by some  people and disliked by others  

- One’s level of popularity tends to remain constant between childhood  and adolescence, but this is not always the case  

- Sarcasm and ridicule are the most common forms of antagonistic  interactions in cliques

- Antagonistic interactions establish hierarchies within cliques and  reinforce clique conformity

- Relational aggression  includes sarcasm and ridicule as well as  gossiping, exclusion, etc. This occurs much more often in girl cliques  because society discourages women from being physically aggressive

- Relational aggression results in detrimental outcomes for both the  aggressor and the victim. The aggressor may be more at risk for  depression and eating disorders, while the target of the aggression is  more likely to feel intense emotions of loneliness.  


- Components of bullying: aggression, repetition, power imbalance - Often bullies were bullied at one time in their lives

- Boys are more likely to be both bullies and bullied than girls - Both bullies and people who have been bullied are at greater risk for  psychological problems

Youth Culture:

- Adolescents have their own distinct culture, which is classified by:  hedonism (seeking pleasure), irresponsibility (postponing the  responsibilities of adulthood)  

- Subterranean values of youth culture: excitement and adventure - Style of youth culture: image (appearance), demeanor (distinctive  gestures, gait, posture), and argot (distinct way of talking/lingo). These three attributes of youth culture set it apart from child or adult cultures

- Youth cultures can only really develop in pluralistic societies  - The concept of youth culture rose in the 1920’s, as a result of WW1  ending, women’s higher status, and the invention of cars

- The rise of youth culture in the 1920’s led to a huge rise in sexual  activity among adolescents (thought of to be spurred on by Jazz music)

Technological cultures: Margaret Mead (1920’s):

- Postfigure cultures  cultures where the rate of technological change is  slow, and young people learn almost exclusively from their elders  because not much changes from generation to generation

- Configurative cultures  cultures that are change more quickly in terms of technological advances. Young adults learn from both adults and  their peers

- Prefigurative cultures  a future type of culture that Margaret Mead  believed would exist at some point (and, indeed, exists today), where  adults learn about technology mostly through their children, although  generally, children still learn most skills from adults, and this probably  will not ever change

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