INTERPERSONAL COMM THEORY
INTERPERSONAL COMM THEORY CMS 315M
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Date Created: 09/06/15
Interpersonal Communication Midterm Study Guide Centrality of Comm unication Centrality of Comm unication a Poor communication leads to lousy relationships b Communication is how people judge you c We make decisions about our lives depending on communication ll Importance of the First Exchan e a Most crucialvital interaction with someone b Defining moment of relationship created c Job interview lll Why DO people Meet and Talk a Proximity contributes to relationships and communication 39 meet people you are close to b Appearance matters a great deal 39 want to talk to somebody who looks good ii Parents dress you up for school iiiAppearance matters at the beginning of a relationship ivDress to shape perceptions c Utility i Networking d Loneliness i We like to talk to people and don t want to be alone IV Why Do We Say What We Do Managing an Impression i Talk about good things not bad things i Meeting the family b Reduce Uncertainty i First meeting is search to reduce ambiguity ii Big town vs Small Town iiiSlowy filteringnarrowing what we know about the person V Levels of Predictions a Cultural least effective because most shared assumptions i Culture we believe people are from b Sociological groups I How we know most people in our life C 39 39 39 39 from group i Most important Propositions about Communication You cannot not communicate a Anything you do potentially communicates even when you don t say anything b Anytime we39re around or not around someone potential for communication exists c Technology computers ll Meanings are in people a ct in words labels i Any word can have more than one meaning ii Cross cultures iiiLabels certain words we attach very specific meaning and we expect everyone else to have the same meaning 3 m 1 2 398 m m gt 2 m s s 3 God vs Vishnu b Not in behavior punctuation i ctions speak louder than words ii Punctuation John said Mary go home 2 John said Mary go home iiiTracing back arguments lll Communication is irreversible a Once you say something you could never take it back b Words hurt harder than physical c I wish you would have never been born d Can t get rid of memorle e Can ask for forgiveness but changes relationship IV Communication is functional a Givingreceiving information i Classroom rning b Persuadinginfluencing i Control dimension c Affinity i We want people to like us ii We like to havemake friends d Entertainment i We like talking ii Communication is our favorite hobby iiiWhat d you talk about Nothing V Communication is learned obviousnot obvious a Not a natural human ability b Baby babbling Mama c We have no idea about communication until we make a mistake VI Communication is a too a o bad purposes b mmunication is not always good VII Communication is both intentional and unintentional VIII Communication is contextual a Physical context 39 ertain environments make people interpret things differently ii Different meanings attached to different physical aspects b Psychological context i Socialized medicine ii Proxy father iiiBad mood the world is gray IX Communication has both content and relationship aspects y time we 39 we 39 both b Content is substance relationship is the feelings going on during the conversation c 98 communication is nonver al d Paradoxical peop e tance verbal feelings nonverbal X Communication relationship a Anytime I communicate I m forming a relationship b You can t have a relationship without communication c Longdistance relationships Relationships Costs Alternatives What s the Value Social Exchange Theon by Gretchen Clark I Components of Social Exchange a Economics Costs and Benefits b Exchanging resources i Costs minimize ii Benefits maximize c Comparisons i Comparison level mentally assessing relationships ii Comparison level for alternatives what we think we could be getting from other available relationships II What do we value a Rewards i Looks ii Intellect b Costs i Difficult major ii Restrictive parents c Alternatives ii Clubs II Social exchange and learning alue is learned i Famil ii Friends iiiMedia ivLimited obsenations Selectivity Selective expos ure a Involvement b Proximity c Utility Reinforcement Selective attention a Novelty b Concreteness c Less competing stim uli d Momentum e Utility Selective perception a Reduce ambiguity b Use redundancy c Focus on listener s needs 39 I ii Inclusion iiiAffection 39 Efficacy d ocus on listener s schemas IV Selective retention a Redundancy and repetition b Utility c Primacyrecency d Salience Stereotypes Characteristics Kernel of truth Selfconfirming Stereotypes lead to expectations Actions reflect and create stereotypes a Overgeneralized b Ex reme c Negative Positive implement d Simplistic e f ii Classroom iiiBehavior interpretation b Don t note disconfirmations i Special case ii Special advantage iiiUnusua motivation ivSituation III Learning stereotypes mily b Friends c Media cultivation theory more watch more belief d Limited obsenation one experience creates stereotypes IV Why stereotype a Efficient V Reducing stereotypes Stereotypes don t go away easily but you can control them b Note how people differ Find their uniqueness more with own group c Not inadequacies of generalization d Find similarities with you e Increase contact f Increase familiarity Rumors and Gossip Types of rumors Bogies reflect feared or anxiety provoking outcomes dread rumors 75 b Wedge drivers intend to divide group loyalties or undermine relationships 18 c Pipe dreams reflect desires and hopes d Anxiety x ambiguity 1 reduction x information importance x credibility plausibility of rumor rumor i ere s a multiplicative relationship between the four Control one and rumors dissipate e Characteristics ii Group size iiiAccuracy ivSelf confirming Gossip People that we feel we know not important i Fun and interesting ii Statuspower iiiHurt ivPropaganda v Record keeping viContro viiRelational maintenance b Characteristics 39 metimes negative ii Involvinginteresting iiiMeasures of integration Intimacy confidence ingroup ivShortlived v Highlyefficient viGender differences c Coping with gossip ii Deny iiiLabel it as gossip ivGo to source v Use support groups viFind more info viiDistract Communication Competence byJames Roberts 2 lt Old Adage a It s not what you say that matters it s how you say it b Sometimes it s what you say that matters AND how you say it c How i Organize ii Construct iiiTaior Those 3 little words the Break up ow empat b c Put down the enemycreate an enemy d Reframe the experience e Instrumental supportaid f Build up the target Constructing a verbal message mforting i Show empathy ii Disparage the empathy iiiBuild up the target ivOffer reassurance v Reframe Know your target a 5 stages of grief coincides with stages of comforting i Denial ii Anger iiiBargaining ivDepression v Acceptance Comforting messages a Sophisticated i Highly involvement ii Listenercentered iiiDescriptive ivFeeingcentered v Accepting b Unsophisticated i Low involvement ii Speakercentered iiiEvauative ivEventcentered v Imposing VI Empathetic listening a 3 simply listening techniques i Mirror probes ii Paraphrase contentemotion iiiVaidate feelings VII Types of compliments Appearance b Attire c Emotions d Helpingservice e Performance f Personality traits g Possessions Charisma How do we define it erceived Hard to define Why study it a Exposure b Attention c Reten ion Influence Dimensions of charisma a Credibility i Competence Modhigh 1 oduct about topic 2 Process communicating about topic b Composure Mod c Trustworthiness High i Reliable lean to master small commitments ii Honest important things iiiGood wil ivVulnerabe d ExtroversionModHigh e Sociability High IV Sociability skills Never embarrass yourself not personal b Beware of secre es s i You cannot not communicate ii Different people have different tests iiiEvenone is an accountant c Be face sensitive i The importance of face ii Core face concerns 1 Autonomy 2 Positive reevaluation iiindividua face concerns ivStepping on face 1 See the inside 2 Resist out v How to avoid stepping on face 1 Figure out people s face concerns a ation Complaining 2 Communicate in nonface threatening ways Charisma Part 2 Dimensions of charisma Credibility b Similarity i Background similarity ii Attitude similarity iiiOptimal similarity c Attraction i Task attraction ii Social attractio iiiPhysica attraction 1 Perceived 2 Normative Time period b Socialgroups c Culture d Setting 3 Affects perception 4 s Correlates of physical attraction a c ing i Predominant dresser effect b Compensation c Esteem d Age bias e Learning Charisma Part 3 Perceived Sensitivity a Listening i Listen to tell someone else what was said ii Eliminate distractions iiiReform ulate internal summaries ivLimit counter arguments v Grasp hidden messages b Understanding Empathy Perceived power 5 bases of power i Punishment ii Reward 1 Principles of intrinsic reward Don t offer extrinsic for something that ought to be intrinsic b Ability vs effort iiiAssigned ivReferent v Wisdom viNetwork viinformationa 1 Content and Process b Levels of influence i Compliance 1 Perceived concern 2 Perceived control 3 Perceived scrutiny ii Identification iiinternaization Interpersonal Communication and Deaf People Mike Berstein Change ive been a devil a oompa loompa Creating change People want consistency God Term other what you want People don39t want to be forced don t push too hard I Manipulating messages a Evidence b Fear appeals c WIIFT What s in it for them d Organization i Foot in the door ii Door in the face iiiGood news vs bad news ivProbem vs solution v Agreement vs disagreement viReveaing intent viiDrawing conclusions viiiSidedness Chapter 1 Communication The Lifeblood of Relationships Relationship messages a C nt b a II Some a ent level what the message actually communicatesthe behaviors a message communicate i Example I will be over at your house in 5 minutes indicates that I am physically on my way over to your house Relationship level tells us how to interpret the content may contain some important relationship information l For example I will be over to your house in 5 minutes with a tone of sarcasm the relationship level may indicate there s no way I m coming to your house soon 1 nverbal a stern look a warm handshake a short voice standing close to someone while you are talking 2 Verbal when you are talking to a professor vs when you are talking to a friend You will probably communicate the same message in different ways We process information without conscious thought but there are 3 occasions when we tune in highly to relationship messages i Message drastically violates our expectations stranger greets you with kiss on the lips ii Relationship characterized by high levels of intensity couple that is breaking up will be highly tuned in to munication about the relationship iiiDisagreements and conflicts arise People tend to talk directly about relationships in terms of i Work the effort involved the sacrifices the energy needed ii F 39 t 39 39 with 39 39 Both the I t necessan to begin a relationship and the commitment needed to sustain it iiinvolvement involvement is reflected in such things as the time spend together the quantity and quality of the talk and sharing 1 Communal themes talk about togetherness interdependence 2 Individual themes talk emphasizing separate identities and roles 3 Interpersonal themes factorsforces outside the marriage which are believed responsible for shaping it ivUniquespecial people talk about how their relationship is unique or special v Manipulation the control of one s partner for one s own ga39n viConsiderationrespect viiJourney of discovery people talk about their relationship as a developing journey of discovew viiiAs a game ixAs risky and potentially dangerous x As a system of bargaining and tradeoffs in r The assumption of consistency i but that s not what you said yesterday ii Having others be consistent is valued in our societ iiit helps us make useful predictions about others so we know how to approach out interactions with them lVWe do not like it when people point out inconsistencies in our behavior we may not perceive it to be an inconsiste y We expect people to be consistent viPeople change and context change The assumption of simple meaning i well you said it so you must have meant it ii We can t rely solely on what the words say alone iiiMostly we mean several things at once ivSaying you re crazy depends on context and relationship v We don t always say what we mean or mean what we The assumption of communicator independence i wasn t my fault ii Many times we talk about our relationships with other people as if our behavior has nothing to do with what the other did iiiThere is actually communicator interdependence ivRecognizing that communication problems are the result of mutual contributions v We affect our partner s behaviors and they affect ours The assumption of obvious causation 39 You can t fool me I know why you said what you did ii We are often too quick to jump to assumptions about why someone said something iiiBe careful about assuming other s reasons for behaving and communicating in a certain way ivt s your interpretation v otivations or causes are usually complex and wellhidden The assumption of finality i that settles it ii People can reach a compromise when they disagree but the issue in some form may arise minutes months or years later iiiSometimes we act like something is finished because we don t want to deal with it anymore but it really isn t actually finished Some dimensions of communication in our relationships a Narrowbroad i Range of topics 1 oming together more topics 2 Coming apart less topics ii When you get to know someone topics broaden b Publicpersonal i Depth of interaction Info available to most 2 akes us vulnerable ii Deal with breadth and depth c Stylizeduniq ue i Communication eventually reaches a point where we are interacting with the other person as a unique individual ther than as a particular member of a society d Difficultefficient 39 mount of energy 1 Early stages rely on stereotypes with fewer channels 2 Later stages less energy needed to communicate e Rigidflexible i Number of ways any given idea or feeling can be communicated ii Saying I m angry vs a grunt look etc f Awkwardsmooth 39 Greater synch of interaction as we grow together ii Meshing smooth complementary interaction iiiTaking to a stranger leads to greater synch knowledge increases g Hesitantspontaneous i Meeting hesitant close relation more spontaneity ii Initial reactions h Overt judgment suspendedovert judgment given 39 n the beginning we suspend ourjudgment Dimensions of communication patterns and variations As relationships become more intimate communication becomes more personalized i Telling another person things we don t tell most people feelings secrets personal things quot Relying on a greater variety of channels for sending and receiving messages including nonverbal channels iiiCultivating and using messages that are more personal to the interacting pair only b As relationships become more intimate people perceive communication behaviors become increasingly more synchronized 39 Sy i 2 nchronized communicat on 1 Conversations that are smoothflowing effortless spontaneous relaxed informal and well coordinated c Both intimate and nonintimate relationships have elements of difficulties or barriers to effective e communication 39 ifficult communicat39on 1 eneral strain difficulty and awkwardness of interaction d Friend s communication styles Chapter 2 Stages of Coming Together and Coming Apart I Two communication relationship principles a Expectations for relationships communication is central to establishing and maintaining relational expectations Overt mmunication only gives a partial glimpse into relationships there is often more under the surface b Relational dynamics relationships exist on a dynamic between less intimate and more intimate I Model of interactions stages in relationships The model i Coming together 5 phases that describe the process of becoming more intimate ii Coming apart 5 phases that describe the process of relational degeneration b Assumptions i Model is descriptive not prescriptive Coming apart is not necessarily bad and coming together is not necessarily ii Model simplifies a complex process iiiMode is relevant for both mixedgender and samegender relationships ivMode is relevant for voluntary and involuntary relationships v Model is primarily focused on dyads but we can t forget social networks viMode has a close association with the 8 dimensions of communication in Ch 1 Interaction stages Coming together a Initiating i Process of first coming together b c Intensifying i P d e Coming apart a ii At this stage communicators are simply twing to display pleasantness and likeability iiin obsening others our conscious awareness is sometimes very low ivSpecific messages vary with i d of relationship Time allowed Time since last greeting Situational constraints 2 3 4 5 Special codes for particular groups Experimenting I Process of discovering the unknown Our diligent search for an integrating topic an area of common 39 ce interestexperIen ii 3 bases for predictions in interpersonal encounters Cultura 2 Sociological 3 Psychological iiiWe spend a lot of time experimenting we are searching for a desirable come on self ivFunctions of small talk Uncover integrating topics 2 Audition for future friendships 3 Safe procedure for indicating who we are 4 Maintain sense of commun39t VMost of our relationships probably don t progress very far beyond this stage rocess of reaching close friend status more active participation and greater awareness of process ii Request for physicalpsychological favors and validate existence of intensity Also amounts of personal disclosure increases especially those dealing with the development of the relationship iiiVerbally many things happen in this phase Forms of address are more informal 2 Use of 151 person plural we vs I 3 Private symbols begin to develop Verbal shortcuts based on shared experiences 5 More direct expressions of commitment 6 Act as a helper in understanding what your partner is all about ivNonverba message transmission also increases Integrating I Two individual personalities seem to fuse together This phase is coupling ii Verbalnonverbal manifestations or integrating take many forms 1 Attit es opinions interests and tastes that clearly distinguish the pair from others are vigorously cultivated we have something special 2 Social circles merge and others begin to treat the two individuals as a common package one present one letter one invite 3 Intimacy trophies are exchanged so each can wear the other s identity pictures pins rings 4 Similarities in manner dress and verbal behavior may also accentuate the oneness 5 Actual physical penetration ofvarious body parts contributes to the perceived unification 6 Sometimes common property is designated our song joint bank account 7 Emphatic processes seem to peak so that explanation and prediction of behavior are much easier 8 Body rhythms and routines achieve heightened synchrony 9 Sometimes the love of a third person or object will sene as glue for the relationship love me love my rhinos iiintegrating doesn t mean complete togetherness or complete loss of individuality Bonding i Public ritual that announces to the world that commitments have been formally contracted institutionalization of relationship ii May be a powerful force in changing the nature of the relationship Differentiating b I This stage is the process of disengaging or uncoupling ii Individual differences are a major focus and sene to increase interpersonal distance iii We goes back to orientation 39 39 now 39 39 by what quot iv Most visible communication is in the form of fighting or conflict two people Circumscribing I Information exchange quality and quantity decreases Communication becomes constricted and less total interaction Less breadth and depth Familiar phrases like don t ask me about that are typical ii Has an impact on public social performances c Stagnating I At this stage many areas are closed off and efforts to communicate effectively are at a standstill ii Participants are simply marking time in the relationship iii No topic of substance is brought up because partners reason that they already know what the outcome will be iv Partners may engage in imagined dialogues I know what he ll say o Avoiding i Try to physically avoid partner may move to another room to get away when partner comes in ii Messages may contain overtones of antagonism or unfriendliness and lack of timeenergy to pursue relationship iii Distancing occurs through 1 Avoidance preventing an interaction episode from happening and reducing interaction during an encounter 2 Disengagement hiding information about self using a disengaged communication style and interacting less personally Cognitive dissociation disregarding messages derogating the other person showing cognitive and emotional detachment w e Terminating i End of the relationship can either fade away flame out or something in between ii Characterized by messages ofdistance and dissociation 1 Distance attempts to put physicalpsychological barriers up Dissociation preparing other for life apart iii Termination dialogue 1 Summary statement 2 Behaviors signaling the end 3 Messages indicating what the future will be like Movement in out and around stages Dialectical theory change occurs as we strive to balance the inevitable tensions in relational life i Integration separation ii Expression nonexpression iiiStabiity change b Social exchange theories i Contend that 1 In relationships we are constantly exchanging resources 2 These resources are evaluated as rewarding or not 3 People have a tendency to seek things which are rewarding ii Rules which govern exchange 1 Equity what you get from the relationship what you put in 2 Equality rule each partner is perceived as givingbenefiting equally 3 Needbased rule exchange resources in response to partner s needs iiiRewards and costs figure out if the rewards of the relationship are worth the costs 1 vors can be physical or psychological 2 Analysis of the current encounters past encounters and future encounters rm of reciprocity imitation emotional contagion Rewards and costs in enduring relationships c Directions available for movement i M vement is generally systematic and sequential ii Movement may be forward iiiMovement may be backward ivMovement occurs within stages v Movement is always to a new place d Rate of movement great deal of variance depending on the relationship Chapter 3 The nature of communicators The influence of interpersonal needs they affect the way we communicate The influence of interpersonal needs research shows that we need i nc u ion The need to be included We try to maintain a balance between being together and being alone 3 We tend to associate extroverted behavior with people who have strong inclusion needs Extroverts tend to be socially active and have strong social support networks NHI 4 We tend to associate introversion with low inclusion needs ntroverts are generally seen as reserved and serious 5 Each of us moves along a continuum of highlow inclusion needs 6 Having a network of social ties often provides us with emotional caring and a sense of personal control over our environment ii Control The need to have control of your life 2 Most people want to achieve a balance we want control in some situations and to be controlled in 3 Overhelping purposely help another so success is attributed to you 4 Sandbagging act weak partner breaks down then strike back 5 Sometimes we may gravitate toward a position of avoiding control iiiAffection 1 The need t be loved and feel cared for 2 Affection is important to our interpersonal health and includes behaviors known as rewarding supporting generous cooperative sympathetic warm etc 3 Immediacy degree of liking displayed verballynonverbally Affection needs sometimes are difficult to satisfy II The role of interpersonal needs a Interpersonal needs can be used to describe encounters or relationships in terms of compatibility and occur in the context of a relationship b Symmetrical relationships partners are alike mirror each other c Complementary relationships partners are different opposites attract Healthy relationships probably have both complementary and symmetrical patterns III Analyzing our own needs and those of others It s difficult to analyze our own needs because Unaware of needs we don t reflect on them 2 y repress certain needs keep them bottled updon t want to face them 3 Distortion of needs we aren t accurate 4 Avoidance of needs what me worry Chronically lonely people tend to see themselves and others as less competent communicators less interpersonally attractive and less involved in the conversations they have with others think behave reinforces thinking b Analyzing the needs of others i Selffulfilling prophecy we behave in ways that confirm our perceptions ii Barriers to perceiving the needs of others 1 cealment 2 Verbal and nonverbal associated with 2 different needs 3 Selective interaction only talk to people like us 4 Sometimes we place undue weight on momentary behavior patterns IV Interpersonal needs across the lifespan a Infancy and childhood learned early and intuitively i Anxiety in learning how to get control but see parents as routinesec ure ii When parents are uninvolved kids exert control over peers iiiEary friendships change rapidly ivWe learn our needs are linked to others v Some need for privacy begins b Adolescence i New sense of independence and responsibility ii Changes in relationship with parents to symmetrical and less complementary in how we give and receive iiiAter between statements of39 Self assertion displaying a point of view Permeability responsive to views of others Mutuality sensitivity to others views 4 Separateness expressing distinctiveness from others ivFriendships play an important role v Increasing ability to communicate in terms of their needs c Adulthood i Early ad ulthood 1 S n WNH se of having mastered the world and control over environment so you have less desire to control others 2 Opportunities for giving and receiving inclusion is high 3 Singles may desire more affection 4 Superficial concern for the needs of others and emphasis on own needs ii Middle adulthood 1 Review and assessment of relationships 2 Coworkers satisfy inclusion needs 3 As parents want more control and inclusion but our kids want less 4 Feelings of uncertainty midlife crisis iiiLater adulthood Signs of declining health and vitality 2 Involvementinclusion met in civic affairs volunteering etc 3 Very presentoriented 4 Control needs for the future are low selfassured d Older ad ulthood i The interpersonal needs of older adults are linked to changes in 1 ea th and mobility 2 Social contacts 3 Financial condition ii Common communication behaviors that accompany increased inclusion needs 1 talk your arm off 2 Hesitant to discuss controversial topicsdisagree 3 Lack of trust express fears of others 4 Talk about themselves 5 Interested in making younger friends 6 Talk to only 1 person at a time iiiMale aging adjustments strategies 2 Armored 3 Rocking chair 4 Angry 5 Selfhaters V Interpersonal needs of males and females Traditional sex roles it s not uncommon for men and women to communicate affection needs in different ways men taught not to cry b Instrument and affective behavior men tend to value instrumental behavior emphasize individual achievement and focus on activities Women tend to value affective behavior emphasize relationships and focus on communication c Cultural expectations roles are molded and shaped by the context in which they exist d When discussing gender differences it s important to point out that men and women are more similar to each other than they are different and it is virtually impossible to isolate any behavior that is exclusively performed by male and females Chapter 4 Cultural and physical communication environment I Trends influencing American cultural environment ur concern with the climate of the times includes i Patterns of work ii Relationship styles iiiAttitudes toward selffulfillment ivMessages from the mass media b Patterns of work book focuses on employment of both relationship partners and changing work environments Many women now work outside the home Many couples balance dual career marriages Rapid changes in the workplace leads to increased chances of making friends and new technology increases our channels for communication C Relationship styles styles are changing There are many more alternative relationships now Even with all this diversity people still need to have four primary relationship needs satisfied i people to share concerns with ii Need people that can be depended on iiiMust have 1 or 2 people to be really close accessible friends i ople who respect their competence d Attitudes toward selffulfillment movement is shifting away from selfcenteredness and toward greater commitment to all types of relationshi e Messages from mass media i Pop literature 1 Vision I 1950 early 1960 a unicators were advised to make every effort to elicit happiness in others b Constantly thinking of others before yourself and avoiding confrontation disagreement and conflict at all costs 2 Vision II 1960 early 1970 a Life and relationships were recognized as constantly changing entities b Only by being yourself were you ultimately going to be able to make others happy c Rather than to avoid conflict people were encouraged to feel free to come together in an atmosphere of openness in which any feelings no matter how argumentative could be aired 3 Vision III 1970 1990 combination ofI and a Rather than present a strong orientation toward others vision I or toward the self vision II vision III often took the middle groun b Emerged from popular women s magazines c equality was an Important component d Relationship health and stability were obtained when there was a sense of balance between partners e To have a satisfying relationship with another person people were told they must first have knowledge both of themselves and of others 4 Vision IV a What we re living in now b Coping with issues i Individuals who could not conform to disclosure norms ii Couples who had difficulty understanding their relational expectations iiiSituations in which separation would offer satisfactions unattainable by copresence ii Television went from Leave it to Beaver to Sex in the City iiiPopular music progression from wishful music to music that is much more suggestive and explicit 1 Prologue to Courtship a Wishing and dreaming b Finding someone to love 2 Courtship a Everyone wants love but there were many obstacles to overcome before finding it b Women on a pedestal In 1966 men took initiative in starting and terminating most relationships 3 The honeymoon a Euphoric and happy stage of courtship b Deep romantic involvement to love in terms of physical and sexual involvement You could sleep with someone whether you felt affection for them or not 4 The downward course of love a Breakup of the relationship b Differed in speed with which the relationships were expected to terminate c Dishonesty was a common problem contributing to termination 5 All alon a Isolation following terminated relationship Songs expressing how things will never be right I Influence of physical environment it impacts the way we interact Four major components of any communication setting i Natural environment Architectural structure and design features iiiMovable objects ivPresence or absence of other people b Six types of perceptions about communication environments i Perceptions of formality 1 Generally we perceive our environments alone formalinformal continuum The more people present the more formal we may perceive our environment If more formal less breadth and depth occurs Expect to see communication that is more stylized less relaxed more hesitant and generally more difficult ii Perceptions of warmth If we perceive an environment as warm we are more inclined to linger and feel relaxed and comfortable More personal spontaneous efficient communication Beautiful and ugly room studies seem to parallel warm and cold settings iii Perceptions of privacy The more privacy we perceive the more intimacy we feel we have Greater breadth and depth of communication Communication is usually more flexible and spontaneous we feel we can open up to we trust in private settings ivPerceptions of familiarity e generally prefer familiarity The less familiar we perceive an environment the more cautious and uarded us are Our communication is generally slower and deliberate v Perceptions of constraint Basically how easily can we leave the settingsituation The more constrained we perceive our environment the less we reveal early on in the interaction viPerceptions of distance 1 In general the space between people matters based on physical and psychological proximity Chapter 5 The genesis of dialogue Four human impulses that push people together a Impulse to receive stimulation l Get excitement variety or a change of pace from an existence b Impulse to express experiences i otivated by a desire to discover how they compare with the experiences of others c Impulse to assert oneself i We know ourselves by knowing others by what they think of us and say to us Without comparison we q uickly lose our perspectives for efficient daily interaction IIIWhen we find ourselves in a situation where our feelings or environment are confusing ambiguous or hangeable the need for social contact and comparison increases dramatically d Impulse to enhance enjoyment of certain activities 39 Desire to encounter others is associated with an event or an activity that is more fun with others than alone II Why perceptions differ person s perceptions of others are structured by his or her own cultural conditioning education and personal experiences at we choose to observe and how we process what we ve observed Sometimes we only see what we want to see or don t see what may be obvious to others because our own needs desires or temporary emotional states selective perception III Theories and terms that helps explain how people perceive things Attribution theory 39 Concerned with whether a specific behavior is due to a person s personality or whether it is due to the situation or circumstances impinging on the person b Fundamental attribution error i Tendency to overestimate the influence of dispositional factors and underestimate the role of situational factors in other s behaviors c Selfserving bias i Tendency to enhance outcomes associated with our own behavior d Implicit personality theory 39 h of us has a mental catalogue of traits in our head e Gestalt impression formation po i If we assess the totality of another person as negative this will negatively affect our perceptions of individual raits associated with this person f Stereotyping inductively and ded uctively 39 Way of simplifying our environment so that we can handle it ii Inductively personality or group membership on the basis of specific features iiiDeductively start with a more abstract category like group membership or personality and infer specific features g Selffulfilling prophecy 39 other person s response possibilities are limited to actions that will only reaffirm initial perceptions h Pollyanna principle i People tend to evaluate things positively Primacyrecency effect i Primacy first impressions ii Recency last actions Spiral or reciprocal perspectives 39 T e way I act toward you in turn influences how you feel toward yourself and the way you act toward me l Perceptual distortion and perceptual anesthesia i Perceptual distortion perceivers inner drives is particularly evident in early stages of infatuation ii Perceptual anesthesia seeing what your own needs demand you see and presenting yourself to others as you woul most like to be seen l Negative effect versus typicality i Negative effect when forming initial impressions of others we tend to weight negative events and characteristics more heavily than positive ones ii Typicality when we observe something that is atypical or unusual in an initial interaction it stands out in our minds we tend to remember it and use it in forming our first impressions of others IV The many faces of attraction d or punishment b Near or far i Proximity may facilitate or curtail attraction ii Proximity was found to be the most influential factor in the development and maintenance of romantic relationships in commercial organizations c Similarity or dissimilarity i Reasons we gravitate to similar others assume similar characteristics will reflect a common view of the world 2 If we share a lot in common our interaction will require less hard work 3 Similar others also seem to give us a better chance of being liked d Beauty or beast i Initial responses we initially respond much more favorable to people perceived as physically attractive ii Situations change attractiveness less attractive people usually are not discriminated against as long as their p mance is impressive iiiMatching hypothesis each person may be attracted to only the bestlooking partners but reality sets in when actual dates are made ivRomeo and Juliet effect outside interference from parents may cause a couple to increase their attraction and resolve for each other Chapter 6 Interaction Rituals 0 Communication rule a prescription we follow that indicates what to say in particular situations 0 Communication norm when a rule is followed nearly all the time it becomes a norm I Communication rules Six relationship rules that hold across all cultures i Respect partner s privacy ii Look on another in the eye iiiDon tell others what s discussed in confidence ivDon t criticize in public v Repay debts favors and compliments viDo or don t engage in sexual activities b Interpersonal conditions that influence norm development i Physically close more personal messages ii More intimacy greater demand for affection iiiStatus effects message sending ivEgoinvolvement affects topic choice v Listener s selfimage involved more complimentan messages viForma situations call for formal greetings viiListener s attitudes affect topic selection viiiMessages must be consistent with roles c Violating communication rules and getting away with it i Unaware of expectations or unable to fulfill them Violation offset by circumstances iiiOffset by apologizing disclaimers 1 edging saying the following is tentative and I am open to others views
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