COM 200 Week 2 Talking Styles
COM 200 Week 2 Talking Styles fin571
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Date Created: 11/10/15
Talking Styles Talking Styles NAME COM 200 Professor DATE Talking Styles The reading this week caused me to do some thinking outside of the box It made me think more on the level of my relationship with my wife versus my conversations with coworkers and clients Since my wife and I have been together so long and we almost never argue about anything it was hard for me to fathom that there could be a breakdown in communication between us because of our language style Below I will compare the article versus my findings of the language style matching test results I found the article to be somewhat accurate but also slightly out of the realm of reality In the article it is written in regard of function words that Unconscious verbal coordination of this sort dubbed languagestyle matching by the researchers signifies not how much two people like each other but how much each is paying attention to what the other says Bower 2010 I agree with this merely because if two people are conversing and not paying attention to one another they will not notice the proper functions words to correspond with To me this means that if two people are talking and are in a relationship they should have similar function words or pronouns What seemed inaccurate about this accurate was the idea that such words would fuel romance Whereas I do agree that people that talk the same would have a better chance of getting along in a relationship it does not provide any proof that the groups that were tested in the studies stayed together longer than three months This does not justify romance to me Our commonalities and comparable verbal techniques do initially bring us together I agree with that part of the article However in order to continue on into a loving relationship there has to be something more something deeper to keep that connection Whether it is a love for the same hobbies or kids something else needs to be in place in order to keep the communication going As an example of why I do not agree with this article completely I have a recent event that I will share About a year ago my brother started dating a girl When he brought her over to our house after approximately one month of dating they seemed to click pretty well They were finishing each other s sentences and giggling at each other s jokes I would say about six months or so later after that they came over again for a barbeque My wife and I both noticed a change in the way he was behaving He was very Talking Styles 3 quiet and the two were not holding hands or giggling as they had before He would ask her something about the food and she would shrug her shoulders or say something sarcastic back to him Today they are no longer together He told me that she was not the girl he met initially Basing the idea of a committed relationship on a time frame I would venture to say my brother was in a committed relationship In my eyes this had acted like a different person conforming her words likes needs and so on in order to cater to his words likes needs and so forth but eventually grew tired of being something that she was not naturally This was an intentional move on her part I would say It makes me think that the article is biased in the fact that they are studying only two small time frames younger groups and with the exception of any other factor being part of the study this could possibly include the idea of lust money or even rebellion The article gives us the impression that speed daters that speak similarly will be more likely to pursue one another I tried to picture myself as a single man attending one of those If I were single and placed in front of a really pretty girl at a speed dating event I would do my very best to make a good impression In doing so I would judge her based on her clothes hair nails her voice or how she talked and I would try to mirror that so she would think we had enough in common to give me a try This study alone seemed like a joke to me Then we have the study with the young committed couples Relating this to the experience my brother went through it seems much like the study of speed dating except it were people already in a relationship In the case of my brother the girl stuck around because we came to find out and he was buying her nice things I guess if someone was buying me nice things I could act a little different or try to match their verbal and social lifestyles to continue on if I was superficial The study also concluded After dividing the sample in half based on high or low scores in languagestyle matching threequarters of highscoring couples remained together after three months Bower 2010 Well of course they stayed together for three months after the study but what about one year five years ten years after It makes me question the intent of the study since they did not do any further analysis beyond thee months Talking Styles 4 Moving onto the language style matching analysis I found myself very befuddled by the results My wife and I have been together almost eight years I travel for work so we depend on texts and emails to keep us in sync We have never had an issue with misconstruing an email or text or having an argument about anything regarding them either When I did the language style analysis I used an email between my wife and myself It was over fifty words each and there were not any slang terms hyphenations apostrophes or spelling errors My wife and I are both sticklers about all of those things When I clicked submit it told me that my wife and I had a lower than average score in our communication It was shocking to me We both use very similar words and you can clearly gather from the context of each email that we are responding to each other appropriately All I can think of honestly is that this analysis is done based on key words that it searches for and judges based on that If it were a human versus a computer analyzing our conversation it would be very clear that my wife and I communicate very well Going back to the article and also the language style analysis I do not feel this is an accurate way to predict the future or quality of a relationship I use the idea as an example of how people can manipulate their own words to conform to another persons verbal capacity in order to fulfill hidden agendas this is just one tiny example of how the analysis can be awed Another example is when a person is around many peers perhaps at school and they want to fit in That person could start talking like their peers in order to fit in but this is not really how this person is and it does not make them happy to be something they are not There are many ways I could negate the idea of language styles providing any type of accurate predictions on future relationships Whereas I do think it is a good way to start up a conversation with someone it is not by any means a way to gage success in a relationship Talking Styles REFERENCES Bower B 2010 November 22 Shared talking styles herald new and lasting romance us News amp World Report Retrieved June 7 2011 from ProQuest database Document ID 2223940991 Sole K 2011Makin2 connections Understanding interpersonal communication San Diego CA Bridgepoint Education Inc httpscontentashfordedu
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