COM 200 Week 1 Article Critique Masking Poor Communication
COM 200 Week 1 Article Critique Masking Poor Communication
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Date Created: 11/12/15
Article Critique Masking Poor Communication 1 Article Critique NAME COM 200 PROFESSOR DATE Article Critique Masking Poor Communication 2 Every couple or two closely paired people get to the point where they are comfortable in a relationship that they believe they know the context in which their partner speaks most of the time It is striking to me that after reading this article communication with my wife has been compared to that of a stranger In this paper I will address my experiences with comparison to the article Often my wife tells me that I never listen to her After reading this article I understand that I may be listening her but not hearing her It was intriguing to read that spouses sometimes communicate with each other no better than strangers do a new study suggests Anonymous 2011 Comparing this to the communication with my wife I had to try something out to test this theory This morning during breakfast my wife asked me what we are doing after I get off of work tonight Now I know normally that when she asks this it is because she has plans and wants to make certain I did not have any plans for us So I told her that we did not have any plans normally I would typically make jokes or ask her what she has planned She gave me this horrible look and proceeded to tell me I do not ever make any fun plans for the family In this bit of communication I thought I knew where she was going with her question This article was seemed to fit my bill this morning for breakfast with my wife Eight years together and I apparently misunderstood where the question was leading us I tried to read her body language but it was the same as pretty much any other time She was rushing around me folding laundry doing dishes and so on In the test done of the twentyfour married couples in the article the spouses thought they communicated better than they actually did Anonymous 2011 When we get too comfortable we stop watching body language and paying close attention to the things our spouse or significant other is telling us We start making assumptions based on passed experiences On the ip side when my wife is trying to tell me something being together so long she assumes I know what she is talking about From this article I really learned that I need to pay closer attention to her body language and context clues just as I did the first day we met I could be misunderstanding something that important Article Critique Masking Poor Communication 3 Likewise I think my wife needs to stop rushing around while she is trying to tell me something so that I can get the full gist of what she wants me to understand or ask me I think everyone has experienced miscommunication My most recent experience was about two weeks ago It was quite embarrassing actually My wife was cleaning the house quite intensely When I asked her why she told me that Tom was coming over Tom is my best friend of many years So I started helping her clean Normally when he comes over we will cook out on the grill and have casual conversation we normally joke around a lot as well After we were done cleaning I decided to prepare for Tom s arrival and I put on my gym shorts I opted not to put on a shirt since it was just Tom coming over and we would be out in the hot sun anyways Low and behold the doorbell rings I open it and it was my wife s mom I was so embarrassed I was definitely not dressed appropriately for my motherinlaw to be visiting My wife had apparently said her mom was coming over and I honestly heard her say that Tom was coming over My wife had been rushing around cleaning and I apparently misunderstood what she said Simple miscommunication earned me the humiliation badge When I first told my wife about how I heard Tom instead of mom she told me to listen better next time We have had this conversation before actually I would like to avoid embarrassing situations like this in the future but it will take both of us working on it to achieve success I think going forward she and I would both need to stop what we are doing when we have a conversation We need to focus on what the other is saying how they are saying it and ask questions if we do not understand I think a lot of it has been that we will not ask questions because the other expects us to already know or understand what we want or mean This has to be a common thing amongst married couples I would guess In the event that it occurs again I think if I was not absolutely clear on what my wife said I would just ask or repeat the words back to her to make sure I understood what she was saying Had I just repeated back oh Tom is coming she could have corrected me at that time and I could have changed my clothes The one thing I do find to be somewhat contradicting between our text and this article is that people in close relationships may interact as well as strangers Where I do Article Critique Masking Poor Communication 4 understand that we get comfortable in relationships and start making assumptions and so on we also have adapted to their personality We are able to interpret their messages more effectively than a stranger For example when my wife says something sarcastic I know it Sometimes she pushes peoples buttons that may not know her as well because they did not realize she was using sarcasm In our text it says that over time you have become more adept at accurately interpreting his or her verbal and nonverbal behavior and predicting how the other person will respond to something you say Sole 2011 This is where I have to disagree with the article Communication is not all about what we hear someone say or how we interpret it from the sound It is how we adapt to those around us in the ability to interpret how they may mean it Miscommunication goes deeper than words The words that we speak are only a portion of communication The way we listen or hear things that are said to us and the way that we read body language will allow us to better understand the phrases or statements we receive If we can work passed just being comfortable with each other and form an understanding that communication will always require focus good listening and the ability to disregard assumptions I believe communication between close relationships can be improved Article Critique Masking Poor Communication 5 REFERENCES Anonymous 2011 Close relationships sometimes mask poor communication U5 News amp World Report Retrieved June 2 2011 from ProQuest database Document ID 2270370591 Sole K 2011Makin2 connections Understanding interpersonal communication San Diego CA Bridgepoint Education Inc httpscontentashfordedu
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