COM 200 Week 3 Article Critique Self-Disclosure, Gender, and Communication
COM 200 Week 3 Article Critique Self-Disclosure, Gender, and Communication
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Date Created: 11/12/15
Article Critique SelfDisclosure Gender and Communication 1 Article Critique NAME COM 200 Professor DATE Article Critique SelfDisclosure Gender and Communication 2 Being able to communicate about things with substance on a daily basis is a good way to keep in touch with your spouse I can relate to pretty much every part of the article read for this paper The article suggests that when people have been married fifty years and have communicated following the tenminute rule to an extent they will have to talk less but they know each other the best I agree with this article that communicating about things other than daily duties can keep the relationship alive and thriving My wife and I talk every day on the phone for the most part Since I do travel for work we depend on the few minutes I have in between meetings ights and customer visits to discuss anything that has been going on that day or how we feel about the day s events Sometimes I will call and she will tell me about how our son has pulled on her last nerve string with talking back Other times she will say her day was just fine and we just talk about things we want to do for the weekend this inevitably ends up being more about what our hobbies are as they are everchanging Being on the phone we get to know the little things about each other that keep things interesting for us The other day I called her and told her I was going to eat at my favorite restaurant She did not know that this particular restaurant was my favorite because I had always preferred another restaurant Eight years together and there are still things we do not know about each other as well as things we may have liked back then but no longer like For example when we first started dating my wife would go crazy for a Sunkist drink A few years later Pepsi was her drink of choice and now it is Coke My preferences change just as hers do as times passes Keeping in touch with preferences and wants or needs and feelings keeps us in tune with each other rather than assuming that we both will remain the same forever When you continue getting to know someone once you are in a long term relationship it is almost like that first few months you are dating someone you get those butter ies in your stomach when they tell you something you did not know about them It makes you feel as if you are still dating which ultimately are where the sparks stay lit Article Critique SelfDisclosure Gender and Communication 3 Selfdisclosure is detrimental to a healthy relationship These mutual disclosures have increased your vulnerability to being hurt or taken advantage of by the other person and the fact that you have invested so much of yourself may make it difficult to disrupt or to end the relationship Sole 2011 When I hurt my wife s feelings she tells me that I hurt her feelings Sometimes she will just share it in the form of words other times she may cry I obviously do not do it intentionally but sometimes her moods change If you think about it if she never told me that I hurt her feelings I might never know and I might even repeat the same mistake In terms of her moods she also tells me when we are on the phone that she is not in the best of moods for example This enables me to know how I should communicate with her that day It also prompts me to ask about her day or what caused her to have a bad day When she shares her emotions with me it helps me understand more in depth how she is feeling and why We have been recently watching this new game show about newlyweds that asks questions about each of the spouses When my wife and I watch it we always ask each other what we would have said if we were on the show It is funny to see the things we still after eight years do not know about each other and also what we know about each other that we have never really discussed It helps us in a way to see what we need to communicate better on or about With selfdisclosure the success or satisfaction of our relationship is directly related to our communication or sharing our private feelings fears doubts and perceptions with my partner Schoenberg 2011 Knowing that she has a fear of me driving too fast when I am out of town makes me realize how valuable our love is and subsequently I slow down the spedometer Or knowing that she is would spend our lottery winnings if we won on a nonprofit animal rescue lets me know how caring she is and how passionaet she is about things that I do not normally see Many people say that women are more emotional and verbal than men The gender similarities in our household prove that my wife and I are on the same emotional and verbal wavelengths We both get sad over the same movies or mad about that guy that pulled over in front of us on the highway Most of all my wife and I share our emotions verbally very well If I am upset over something I share it with her I do not Article Critique SelfDisclosure Gender and Communication 4 bottle it up and wait for it to explode months down the road My wife and I had been dating for about a year when I started noticing she seemed upset with me a lot I kept asking her what was wrong but her answer was always nothing It was impossible for me to resolve any problems if I did not know what the problems were After a few months she finally broke down and started yelling at me throwing all of these petty things in my face They were silly things about how I do not put dishes away like she wants me to and how she hated that I ate pasta late at night after she would go to sleep and then I did not rinse out the pan These were petty things to me However they were large things to her First off her unnecessary unhappiness was a concern because she bottled up her emotions for so long and then took them out on me Whereas had she just told me what was bothering her to begin with we could have resolved things quickly I believe that some people hold in their emotions and never share them thus causing divorce or terminal unhappiness with their partner Secondly this blowout opened my eyes to the fact that my wife had an obsessivecompulsive disorder I had noticed little things before but this solidified it From this point on we agreed to always communicate no matter how difficult it would be for either of us This has been the strongest part of our relationship since that day We do not hold back anything Although we are careful and kind about the honesty we use we divulge everything with each other except what we get each other as gifts for holidays Although this article and many others are based on generalizations I think it covers a large portion of the people out there that are in committed relationships I feel that my wife and I fit into this category of having quality consistent affectively affirmative and loving communication Many of our friends tell us they are envious of how open our relationship is They can see how we tell each other everything and we are accepting of each other no matter what happens or is said Open and honest communication has been at the forefront of this satisfaction for us My job is probably most responsible for my wife and I getting such satisfaction from our communication Being on the road all the time as I am we rely on communication to keep our love alive Getting to know her every day in each phone Article Critique SelfDisclosure Gender and Communication 5 conversation makes me fall in love with her all over again Knowing that people change we must continue to get to know one another as our hobbies preferences and wants needs and emotions may change REFERENCES Schoenberg N 2011 February 6 Can we talk Researcher talks about the role of communication in marriages Houston Chronicle 7 Retrieved June 13 2011 from ProQuest database Document ID 2260839481 Sole K 2011Makin2 connections Understanding interpersonal communication San Diego CA Bridgepoint Education Inc httpscontentashfordedu
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