COM 200 Week 5 Final Paper Letter of Advice Paper
COM 200 Week 5 Final Paper Letter of Advice Paper
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Date Created: 11/12/15
LETTER OF ADVICE 1 Letter of Advice: A Longlasting Loving Healthy Relationship The One COM 200 The Two LETTER OF ADVICE 2 Hi Tim and Sara, My name is. I understand that you two are newly engaged, and were made aware that I was taking a course in Interpersonal Communication; additionally, as a couple you are seeking suggestions and advice regarding your relationship. I will share knowledge from the course material, and from my life experiences both good and bad. In this letter I will discuss strategies for empathic listening, recognizing the power of words, how nonverbal expressions affect relationships, and how to create a positive communication climate. Let me assure you that this letter will certainly serve as a footprint for ways to better your relationship. I am extremely honored to share some dynamics of interpersonal relationships with you, Tim and Sara. First I would like to qualify myself by stating that with the help of God, my wife and I celebrated 31 years of marriage on April 19, 2011; thus, I know a little bit about how to maintain a longlasting loving healthy relationship. Furthermore, the day is your lucky day for the reason that I will share my knowledge with both of you today and set you on a path toward a longlasting, loving, and healthy relationship. First I want to share a little bit of information about myself. I married my high school sweetheart in 1980, and we are still together after 31 years. I am the father of three wonderful children and from them I have three grandchildren. My two granddaughters are the most beautiful girls in the world with the exception of my wife, and I believe that is enough about me. All right let me began with a brief introduction of what my thoughts are regarding Interpersonal Communication; additionally, I will reference different material throughout this letter. The human race is a highly interactive being who desire and crave relationships with others of its kind (Sole, 2011, p. 22). I believe Life is the most precious gift in the world; moreover, empathy is the power that sustains that gift of life. In other words, when people in intimate relationships concern themselves with the problems and issues of others with compassion, and sympathy, life continues to advance. As imperfect and perfect as humans are, empathy serves as a yoke or connection that balances out what humanity can achieve. When couples communicate, it requires a sender (the root of the message), and the receiver (the person on the receiving end of the message) to engage in LETTER OF ADVICE 3 interpersonal communication. One of the keys to a strong and longterm relationship is the ability to communicate well, and to listen effectively when someone else is talking. Occasionally, you may have to put up with or deal with uncomfortable situations from each others pass e.g., children, and pass friendships. I would not necessary worry about this early in the relationship. From my experience as your relationship develops, these situations will correct itself; thus I know each relationship in different. I mention my parents earlier and how they help guide my footsteps in my marriage, and this is an example. My wife endured my friends more than she would have like to for the first three years of our marriage, and believed she had to accept my friends as well. My father saw what was transpiring and read a Bible passage to me. (Genesis 2:24 King James Version), therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. I still spent time with my friends; however, my wife came first in every aspect of my life. Develop strategies for active, critical, and empathic listening. According to Orbuch, a research scientist, people can chat for hours and never at one time discuss some meaningful or significant content; therefore, couples can improve and develop sustainable communication that proven useful in relationship, and cheerful marriages that endure for life (as cited in Schoenberg, 2011). Orbuch who just a short time ago wrote regarding the downtoearth connotations of her analysis concerning taking steps to elevate marriage form marginal to exceptional by participating in substance discussion daily for approximately 10 minutes (Schoenberg, 2011). One most certain path to trustworthy relationships, emotional intimacy, and cheerful marriages is using well polish listening skills, and empathy. One may often need to reflect on many types of listening skills such as people skills, emotional intelligence, appropriate skill selection, and communication ethically. A listener is thought of empathic not entirely for the reason he or she listens; however, as well in consequence that he or she makes it understandable that he or she is paying full attention. Newlywed couples need to develop strategies for effective listening for instance, encouraging each other to communicate absence of judgment, show patience and do not interrupt each other, and allow the one disclosing to conduct the conversation. According to Sole (2011),“researchers report that most of us spend more time listening than talking (p. 39);” however, permitting the person with LETTER OF ADVICE 4 the predicament to do majority of the discussing not only shows concern for one another; additionally, it binds, and strengthen relationships on many levels. Upon conversation with many of my colleagues in the music profession, I found that most of them implied that their communication skills exceeded average, and people more, or less appreciate hearing themselves speak. Fundamentally, everyone wants his or her opinions heard; however, when people stop talking so much, they become better listeners. The more couples genuinely empathize with each other, the more they will love and respect each other. When in an emotional relationship, skills as an intelligent empathic listener improve on couple’s ability sustaining a long and healthy connection. An active listening approach is to put in time and energy to listen to what is said thus totally to comprehend what is convey. I learned to empathize early in my marriage. I remember my mother inlaw overheard my wife and I discussing why do I leave her at home everyday after work to go to the gym, and she replied, “Your husband was participating in this activity before marriage, so leave him be.” However, driving toward the gym I visualized my wife’s expression of disappointment and began to sympathize with her by putting myself in her shoes. Considering that our parents were from a different time and era, I concluded that my wife’s mother perspective was incorrect. Eventually, I cut down on my trips to the gym and started participating in activities we both enjoyed. Recognize how words have the power to create and affect attitudes, behavior, and perception. One very important key to a successful relationship is for couples to recognize the effects that harmful words have on each other’s emotional state of mind. Words are extremely influential and capable of bringing forth destructive behavior when used inappropriate toward other individuals. The words you express can influence not only oneself; however, your partner as well. If these words are repeated frequently, they have the tenancy to affect the relationship and how one feels about him or her self. My advice is to give confidence to each other. I have to credit my wife for pulling me from a world of antisocial behavior and encouraging me toward a hospitable individual. In this article Healthy relationships lead to better lives, Johnson (2011) notes that selfesteem also comes from a healthy personal relationships such as family and LETTER OF ADVICE 5 friends, and in my case, this individual is my wife. In other words, part of whom I am and my level of selfesteem is on account of her, thus God has blessed us both mightily. Johnson (2011) writes that “strong and healthy relationships develop selfesteem, and enhance rational and affectionate health,” which leads to life more abundantly. Destructive words are capable of producing damage on the mental state, and bring results of low selfesteem. According to Bernstein (2011), “take a walk, or sleep on it to gain perspective.” One of the best ways to deal with a situation such as an inappropriate use of words is simply to forgive the other person who uttered those destructive words. When people are totally inlove with one another, eventually he or she will apologize. The mere fact that people love, and care for each other is proven by some arguments that transpire. People often in some cases will challenge each other decision out of concern for their wellbeing. In other cases, people may have said or participated in behavior offensive to the other unknowingly. According to Bernstein (2011), Dr. Nancy Zapolski has helped individuals’ communication openly instead of letting emotions buildup and bubble over. Holding concerns inward is not good for anyone; additionally, keeping situations suppressed will cause physical harm to the body. When people in long relationships see one another every day, conflict is most certain. As single individuals, bad habits are acquired, and as long as there is no one to challenge those bad habits, such as men leaving the toilet seat up, or ladies leaving hot curling irons in the on position prior to leaving the home only continues throughout life unopposed. These bad habits and other inconveniences once in a relationship may aggravate and annoy each other as the relationship progresses. However, communicating these minor aggravations early in the relationship will minimize major arguments that later may cause each other to use harmful words. Words are very powerful, and can build high selfesteem or low self esteem. More couples than a little identify these difficulties and offer feedback without delay; whereas, other couples are not certain how to offer feedback even though desired (Schoenberg, 2011). Words possess the power to mend and restore shattered hearts, and turn fantasy into reality; additionally, words possess the authority to lift selfesteem. However, they also possess the authority to destroy hearts, and turn nightmares into reality. Once people inner into a heated argument, take a deep breath, calm down, and think twice about the words used, and remember that once harmful words are spoken, they cannot be unspoken. LETTER OF ADVICE 6 Understand how perceptions, emotions, and nonverbal expression affect interpersonal relationships. Nonverbal communication consists of deliberate significant motion, unconscious bodily movements, and facial expressions. Nonverbal body language communication ranges from shaking one’s head to rapid tapping of the feet, and every motion between the neck and ankles. Nevertheless, more often than not, it is not what one communicates; however, it is how one communicates it. Making known affection and interpersonal perspective is a fundamental function on nonverbal physical communication between the dispatcher and receiver. Preston (2005) writes that communication connoisseurs customarily concur that only a minute part of an entire message conveyed is included in the words when people engage in person to person conversations. The most normal way of communicating with each other is by using words; however, when couples use nonverbal communication, interpersonal relationships are affected one way or the other, constructive, or destructive. A significant perspective of person to person interaction is nonverbal communication. Productive nonverbal communication amounts to a dominant ability in wherein the skill to comprehend assists people uniting with others, symbolize what one genuinely intend, enhance interpersonal associations, and control difficult condition, and circumstances. Preston (2005) further notes that majority of the message, and arguably the most significant is delivered by kinesics, or the blending of demeanors, apparel, body movements, facial appearances, and even fragrance. Interpersonal communication simply means sharing messages among people through different types of communication. When couples can communicate effectively, tension, and stress decreases. Genuine listening creates fellowship, faith, and an atmosphere of belonging in a relationship. When a significant other recognized that he or she are communicating with a true listener rather than someone who want only to cast judgment, they will unhesitatingly share most private secrets. At this point, the listener has created a special moment to show his or her concern for the matter at hand that in the future will not be forgotten by the significant other. Using bodily language to makebelieve, or showing interest or taking pleasure in a discussion when otherwise, is a mistake in judgment, and can dramatically influence, and damage interpersonal relationships. Developing one’s capacity to comprehend and use nonverbal LETTER OF ADVICE 7 communication effectively is a significant element in improving interpersonal communication responsibility (Sole, 2011, p. 98). Nonverbal communication can harm interpersonal relationships in consequent from misunderstanding one’s attentions for instance, intimate solicitation. Other mistakes consist of nonverbal communication that differs from verbal communication such as appearing to pay attention when concentrating on other issues. Evaluate appropriate levels of selfdisclosure in relationships. When sharing personal information with each other, selfdisclosure early in the relationship is customarily voluntary, and as the relationship strengthens and develop you will share your deepest most inner thoughts with each other. However, you have to assess and judge what is selfdisclosed for appropriateness. For instance, Tim, I know from reading your visitors form that you own a car dealership, I know this is not the case; however, it would not be a good idea to disclose to Sara that your great uncle misplaced a few cars in his day :). On the other hand, if Sara burned a few meals lately, there is no need to disclose that your mother never learned how to cook :). What you look for is someone to share with and share alike. These are just some insignificant truths that will end a relationship before the relationship start. Recognize how selfconcept and defensive and supportive messages and behaviors create positive and negative communication climates. Tim and Sara your communication climate is very important in maintaining a positive and healthy relationship. After a very difficult day whether with coworkers or friends, knowing that you can discuss openly with your significant other creates a welcome communicative environment very functional. Couples in intimate relationships possess the power to control their communication climate through positive emotions for instance, expressing a caring attitude, and showing respect for each other. We have covered some very important strategies, and concepts in this letter that will assist you in your relationship: such as developing strategies for listening, understanding the power of words, understanding how nonverbal expression affects relationships, and evaluating appropriate selfdisclosure. When you master the act of putting yourself in your significant other shoes, a successful marriage will surely follow. Therefore, remember to acknowledge God, treat LETTER OF ADVICE 8 each other how you expect to be treated, and a longlasting loving healthy relationship will be your reward. LETTER OF ADVICE 9 References Bernstein, E. (2011, April 19). Bonds / On Relationships: Friendly Fight: A Smarter Way to Say 'I'm Angry'. Wall Street Journal (Eastern Edition), p. D.1. Retrieved September 22, 2011, from ABI/INFORM Complete. (Document ID: 2323385181). Johnson, T. (2011, March). Healthy relationships lead to better lives. The Nation's Health, 41(2), 20. Retrieved from Research Library. Document ID: 2291829641 Preston, P. (2005). Nonverbal Communication: Do You Really Say What You Mean? Journal of Healthcare Management, 50(2), 836. Retrieved from ABI/INFORM Global. (Document ID: 814698921). Schoenberg, N. (2011, February 6). Can we talk? Researcher talks about the role of communication in marriages. Houston Chronicle,p. 7. Retrieved September 16, 2011, from ProQuest Newsstand. (Document ID: 2260839481). Sole, K. (2011). Making connections: Understanding interpersonal communication. San Diego, CA: Bridgepoint Education, Inc.
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