Week 7 checkpoint introductions and conclusions
Week 7 checkpoint introductions and conclusions
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Date Created: 11/17/15
Gun Control 1 Welcome to WritePoint, the automated review system that recognizes errors most commonly made by university students in academic essays. The system embeds comments into your paper and suggests possible changes in grammar and style. Please evaluate each comment carefully to ensure that the suggested change is appropriate for your paper, but remember that your instructor's preferences for style and format prevail. You will also need to review your own citations and references since WritePoint capability in this area is limited. Thank you for using WritePoint. Running head: GUN CONTROL Gun Control 2 Gun Control Student Name College Name Gun Control To many people in the United States the words ‘gun control’ means the government is trying to take away our 2nd amendment rights which were given to us by our founding fathers. If someone wants the real reasons behind these drastic changes in our laws one needs to research the facts behind the actuations. Do you [Word choice. You and your mean general humanity. In academic writing, second person (you and your) should be replaced with a third person pronoun (he, she, it, one, and they). ] own a rifle or know someone who does? Do you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] know the laws for owning a rifle or what [This is a runon sentence because there is not a comma before the conjunction. Run on sentences occur when conjunctions (and/or) and punctuation marks (commas and semicolons) are not used properly. ] is even considered to be a rifle? Throughout the years the laws have been changing and have been affecting people all over the United States. These laws were brought into play to reduce violent crimes which afflict all areas of this great [Eliminate colloquial language in academic writing. Colloquial language is informal phrasing that is used when speaking, but it is not acceptable in academic writing. Rather, use exceptional or another similar word instead of great.] nation. Even though high powered rifles are used in assignations and some crimes, gun control laws affects everyone including private owners and collectors, not just the criminals and has no real affect on lowering crime. All this violence we have seen in our life time is a good reason for our government to take these kinds of actions although it might not have been the best way to resolve the real issue, why? Even before the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, killed by a 6.5 x 52 mm Italian Carcano M91/38 [A wordslashword combination is inappropriate in an academic paper. Write it out wordslashword.] boltaction rifle, the government had already passed certain gun control laws beginning with The National Firearms Act of 1934, enacted on June 26 . Other atrocities have been committed using high powered rifles such as the Columbine High School [Incorrect capitalization. Do not capitalize.] Massacre, which happened on Tuesday, April 20, 1999. The weapons used were two shotguns, a HiPoint 995 (assault rifle) and a TECDC9 (handgun). Then there is the Jonesboro Massacre that occurred on March 24, 1998. The weapons that were used were high powered rifles, one was a Remington .3006 and the other was a Ruger .44 Magnum rifle. There have been other crimes and even other assassinations committed with these types of weapons which has made people from across the nation look for help in passing stricter gun control laws. A picture of who [Use who for the subject of a sentence. Example – I wonder who wrote this article. (Who is the subject of the verb wrote.) Use whom for direct objects and after prepositions. (A direct object is a noun [person, place, or thing] or pronoun that receives the action of the verb. A preposition relates the noun to another word in the sentence.) Example – She is the doctor whom you should see. (Whom is the direct object of the verb should see). With whom were you speaking? (Whom is the object of the preposition with.) ] is actually [Word choice. Actually is a weak word whose literal meaning is “in point of fact.” Actually can usually be deleted from the sentence with no change in meaning. ] affected by these laws is quite simple; one just needs to look into a mirror. Based on data collected by The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms in 1995, almost half of the adults in the United States lived in a home where firearms were owned. Those people own firearms for a variety of reasons ranging from home protection to sports activities including hunting and range shooting or better known as target practice or tournaments. For someone [Runon sentence. Place a comma before the conjunction.] to be able to purchase and own a rifle they [Nounpronoun agreement problem. Since the noun is singular, the pronoun must be singular. Use "his" or "her" or "its" with a singular noun.] need to be over the age of eighteen [Use words for numbers one through nine and numerals for numbers 10 and greater.] and be able to register the firearm. There are a number of reasons why someone can be denied the ownership of these firearms, such as having been convicted of a felon, being a minor, a person who [Word choice use who and whom correctly] has been discharged dishonorably from any branch of the military, and many other reasons. The affected do not stop at just the owners or want to be owners of these firearms though; there are the dealers and the gun collectors who are equally affected by the changing laws. In part from the tedious registration collectors have to deal with all antique firearms need to have been made on or before 1898. This makes certain antiques uncollectable due to the fact they were manufactured after that year. Firearms dealers have been heavily bombarded by the affects of these gun control laws, making their sales drop nationwide. With longer wait times involved in the purchase of a firearm most people are relaying on person to person sales or receiving them from family members. Being that [Word choice. Use because instead of being as. ] each state carries their [Noun pronoun agreement problem. Both the noun (person, place, or thing) and pronoun (his, her, or their) must be singular, or both must be plural. Use his, her, or its with a singular noun.] own laws concerning the purchasing or selling of firearms it is almost impossible to list them. However, anyone can access this information on any state they [The pronouns and noun do not agree. Both need to be singular.] choose and see the differences in each state. There are many kinds of rifles out there still in use in most of the country today. They range from the small .22 caliber rifles all the way to the powerful .50 caliber rifle. The differences between rifles can be as simple as a single shot rifle where it is reloaded by hand after every shot to a fully automatic rifle which can shoot continuously until the rounds in the clip have been used up. One of the most common errors made by people is in the differences between the semiautomatic and automatic rifles. Semiautomatic rifles do not fire a continuous stream of bullets, they fire a single shot and keep firing as fast as one can pull the trigger, then there are those few, (known as assault rifles) that fire a burst of three shots at a time. Automatic means just as it sounds, pull the trigger once and the gun continuously fires until it runs out of ammunition. Crime, such a small and powerful word that is the main reason behind the laws, without these crimes committed with firearms there might not be any need for gun control. To bad that is not the way it is, all over the globe each and every [Word use: these two words are redundant (one is either the same as the other or contained in it); eliminate the first with no change in meaning.] country is going through this same problem. There is some decline to crimes committed with firearms in some areas; however the overall crime rates globally are not dropping. Here in the United States for every 100,000 people there are 2.97 homicides committed each year with firearms, the overall rate is estimated to be at 7.52 homicides a year. However, we are one of the few countries with the least amount of gun control. On the other side of things Mexico has some of the strictest laws pertaining to gun control around. The only rifles their citizens can legally own are .22 caliber rifles. Anything bigger will result in their arrest which can consist of years in jail if not life. The statistics for Mexico are out of every 100,000 people there are 3.6622 homicides committed each year with firearms, there overall rate however is 17.7735 homicides a year. There are a number of other countries where the crime rate is even higher. In some parts where guns are removed completely from the citizens the crime rate is still very high however, they have replaced firearms with other weapons such as knives. What everyone needs to try and [Word choice. The correct usage for this term is “try to”.] remember is that rifles are not the true problem; it is the people who have committed crimes with these firearms that are the problem. Taking away the people’s right to bear arms might stop crimes committed with firearms but it [Runon sentence. Place a comma before the conjunction.] will not stop crimes altogether. People are innovative and will find new methods for committing crimes that were usually committed with firearms. If the United States continues to pass gun control laws to the extent of eliminating the private owner, there could very well be another civil war right on your [Do not use second person in academic writing.] door step. Just a little something to think about before we join lobbyist to try and [Word choice use try to.] pass more laws controlling the way we own guns.
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