COMM151- Relational Communication
COMM151- Relational Communication
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This 26 page Reader was uploaded by Hanna Dijkstra on Wednesday January 29, 2014. The Reader belongs to a course at a university taught by a professor in Fall. Since its upload, it has received 323 views.
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Date Created: 01/29/14
Changing Relationships 12914 720 PM Turning Points and Dialectics Turning points Any event or occurrence that is associated with change in a relationship 0 Relatively large important events In contrast to stage approaches turning point approach depicts relationship development as largely non inear Studies show that around 5060 of close relationships follow a non linear developmental path Types of turning points 0 Communicationbased Quality communication rather than just talking a lot Talking about more intense deep topics o Activities and special occasions Holiday rituals o Passion and romance Romantic relationship transition 2 Going from friends or task based into romantic 0 Commitment and exclusivity External competition 2 Mate poachers Serious commitment 0 Changes in families and social networks Changes in family membership Interference from a romantic partner or third party o Proximity and distance Separations and reunions Distanceindependence from parents Becoming roommates moving in together Moving out 0 Crisis and Conflict Conflict and disengagements Crisis situations support and sacrifice Making up o Perceptual changes Positive illusion positive perception of your partner 2 Can be negative see everything they do as bad Pos or negative psychic change Dialectical Perspective Relationships are dynamic rather than static entities In healthy relationships people adapt to one another s changing needs by managing dialectical tensions These tensions are communicated discursively Baxter39s Typology of Dialectical Tensions 0 Internal Integration connection autonomy 2 Messages about wanting to be close to one s partner 2 But balanced with also wanting personal freedom Uncertainty predictability novelty 2 Importance of routine and consistency 2 But also spontaneity and novelty Expression openness cosedness 2 Communication can be open in some respect but not others I tell you almost everything 0 External Integration incusion seclusion 2 Messages about wanting to spend time as a couple within social networks 2 But also alone as a couple Uncertainty Conventionaity uniqueness 2 Couples communicate ways that adhere to social norms 2 But also in ways that allow them to be seen as special and unique Expression reveation conceament 2 Communication allows people to share information with their social networks while also keeping some information private Managing the Dialectical Tensions 0 Selection deciding to value one side of dialectic more than the other 0 Separation favoring different sides of the dialectic at different times Cyclic alternation cycling back and forth Topical segmentation emphasizing different sides based on topic or context 0 Neutralization avoiding full engagement of either side of the dialectic Moderation reach a midpoint Disqualify be so ambiguous so neither side is engaged o Reframing adjusting perceptions so the dialectics are viewed as complementary rather than contradictory Cell Phone Use 0 Partners experience and manage autonomy connection through texts and calls Rawin s Dialectical Tensions in Friendships o Independent dependent Expressive protection Judgment acceptance Affection instrumentality Pubic private Idealreal OOOOOO 12914 720 PM 12914 720 PM Chapter 3 Drawing People Together 12914 719 PM Forces of social attraction Types of attraction Attraction a motivational state in which an individual is predisposed to think feel or behave in a positive manner towards another person Physical about physical appearance Social desire to be around and hang out with Task desire to work with someone to fulfill an instrumental goal Sexual desire to engage in sexual activity with someone Framework for Studying Attraction Aspects 0 Personal qualities and preferences Perceptions of reward value 2 What we look for in others based on personal preferences 2 What the person can offer you in the relationship 2 Reward potential or value Expectations 2 What we expect other people to be like sometimes based on stereotypes or past expenences Biological effects 2 Levels of hormones like oxytocin dopamine Demographic differences 2 Sex and gender differences 2 Age 2 Sexual orientation Personality differences 2 Attachment style 0 Relationships with primary caregivers when young impact relationships you form in your adult life 2 Relationships beliefs How we think relationships are supposed to work 2 Sef esteem 2 Narcissism o Qualities of of the other Physical appearance 2 Personal and cultural preferences Coloring Weight Height 2 Universay hed preferences Facial and body symmetry Body proportionality and the golden ratio Waist to hip ratio The Halo effect 2 The perception that what is beautiful is good Interaction appearance theory 2 People appear more physically attractive when they have warm communication styles Assimilation Effect 2 People benefit by being associated with physically attractive others Interpersonal communication skills 2 Warmth sociability and competence 2 Dominance versus altruistic behavior 2 The oss gain effect people can start out being really attracted to someone can lose the attraction over time because of behaviors Or opposite can happen The hard to get phenomenon o Qualities of the pair Do bird of a feather really flock together 2 In attitudes reinforcement effect People who agree with us 2 In communication skills Playing hard to get 2 In physical appearance matching hypothesis 2 Implicit egotism people are attracted to others for very arbitrary reasons Smiles birthdays astrological signs etc Can opposites attract 2 Complementarity Someone speaks a lot someone listens 2 Fatal attractions 0 What you love initially is what ruins it in the end 0 And Qualities of the physical or social environment Physical environment 2 Reinforcement affect model Physical environment can affect your mood Excitation transfer Take an extreme negative emotion and transfer into an extreme positive onto another person Bungee jump and meet someone new you like them Go to a scary movie Physical proximity Nearness Features of social networking sites Social environment Approval from family and friends The Romeo and Juliet Effect These aspects interact to delineate attraction El El El El 12914 719 PM 12914 719 PM Conceptualizing Relational Comm 12914 719 PM Interpersonal comm two parties in an ongoing process intention to send a message Relational communication subset of IPC closer relationship Close relationships vs other interpersonal relationships 0 Fulfillment Emotional attachment Needs fulfilled by close relationships Affection o Adults who regularly give and receive affection report more psychological and physical health as well as better relationships Floyd affection exchange Social inclusion o Feeling included is crucial to social development bc it enables successful interactions and associations with other people Behavioral control o Need to feel control of your own life and share control in relationships Characteristics of different relationship types Voluntary versus involuntary Biologically related versus nonrelated Sexual versus platonic Romantic versus nonromantic o More about intimacy and commitment Biological versus social differences o Having the biological gender compared to how a relationship is socially constructed o Male and female compared to masculine and feminine Goals of Interactions People use interpersonal communication to fulfill goals o Sef presentationa goals Deals with the image of ourselves we are trying to convey Presenting yourself to others o Relational goals Relate to how we feel about other including type of relationship we desire 3 primary sets of goals 2 activity doing something with someone else 2 relationship defining the relationship beginning maintaining or ending I advice giving advice 0 Instrumental goals Relate to accomplishing tasks seeking advice and achieving tasks Can be sneaky manipulative Principles of Relational Communication Relationships emerge across ongoing interactions 0 Without communication relationships can39t exist 0 Turning points Every message contains both a content and relational meaning 0 Context and the relationship are critical to understanding the messages Burgoon amp Hale39s fundamental relational themes o Dominance submission Control or be controlled Intimacy or affiliation Similarity or differences Task socia orientation Formaity informality Social composure o Emotional arousal and activation Communication is dynamic 0 Just as relationships change so do communications 0 Dialectical theory highlights the dynamic nature of relational communication Relational communication follows both linear and nonlinear patterns 0 Degree of closeness is communicated as the relationship moves from being casual to close linear OOOOO o Upsdowns and turning points impact closeness and communication nonlinear 12914 719 PM 12914 719 PM Information Regulation 12914 720 PM Ideology of intimacy Usually only think of the dark side of secrets and avoidance Popular culture and scholarly writings tend to dominated by an ideology of openness Several scholars have questioned this ideology 0 Some truthful things are hurtful Self Disclosure Definition communication that reveals something about the self to others Disclosure and liking o Poorly timed disclosures can lead to dislike Post coita disclosures pillow talk 0 Equity reciprocity We like people who reciprocate the same deepness or level of disclosure 0 The channel Online disclosure produces an intensification effect 0 Distinctiveness Disclosure unique to the relationship Secrets 0 Gender differences Women are more intimate in disclosures and more disclosure over time than men Men are more up front Benefits of Disclosure 0 Roots in clinical psychology jourard Reduce distress Cathartic o Probem soving coping more effective than prolonged uses of avoidant coping 0 Social support as buffer against stress 0 Personality traits High disclosers higher self esteem life satisfaction and positive affect than concealers 0 Need to examine the purpose of disclosure If only for catharsis does not have much impact Could have negative effect depending upon reception of disclosing Positive impact if gain a sense of 1 closure or 2 sense making 2 Ex traumatic life events Risks associated with selfdisclosure 0 Fear of rejection Fear of abandonment or isolation 0 Fear of retaliation or negative responses Confrontation or attacks 0 Fear of loss of control Impacts our ability to influence others Indicating a sign of weakness 0 Fear of losing one s individuality Losing uniqueness and mysteriousness Common in marriage Lost individual identities Communication Privacy management Theory CPM Basic assumptions 0 Opposing forces of openness and closedness dialectics o Revealing information is risk vulnerability Expose self potentially hurt relationship Protection reasons sef protection relationship protection prevent conflict provide a sense of control in a time of uncertainty 0 Boundary structures ebb and flow depending on risk Control risks people create boundaries around themselves in order to control risk of feeling vulnerable Signal ownership of information 392 Withholding information Boundaries occur across levels of people 2 Couple boundary around family around individuals Permeability of boundary 2 Less the degree of risk more open or permeable 0 Rule management systems Boundary rules 2 What information will be revealed to whom and when 2 Based on cultural personal relational gender and motivational issues Boundary coordination 2 Process by which people manage communicatively or negotiate their privacy boundaries Boundary turbulence 2 Complications in boundary coordination When one person decides not to follow the rules Distinguishing among avoidance secrets and related concepts How are secrets avoidance and privacy linked Differences between avoidance and secrets 0 Topic avoidance you know the topic the info is there but you don39t bring it up because it may cause a fight or hurt feeHngs 0 Secrets the other person doesn39t know Intentional by nature Not all private information is a secret Are all secrets deceptive o Motives false impressions vs other motives like privacy Reasons for avoiding and secret keeping 0 People often have good reasons for avoidance and secrets Self protection Relationship protection Social inappropriateness Lack of responsiveness 2 Men don39t care about certain things Lack of coseness or to foster close bonds Communication efficacy Consequences of Revealing Secrets Positives o Reduces psychological or physical problems o Helps to deter rumination o Leads to resolution of secret Negatives o Disapproval or negative reaction from recipient o Erodes personal privacy boundary 0 Betrayal and loss of trust 12914 720 PM 12914 720 PM Making Sense of Our World 12914 719 PM Managing Uncertainty and Expectation Violations Uncertainty High Uncertainty is feeling unsure or insecure about your ability to predict or explain someone s attitudes and behaviors Low Uncertainty is feeling confident in ability to predict and explain behavior Types of relational uncertainty URT Self uncertainty uncertainty about your own feelings and how involved you want to be in a relationship Partner uncertainty about partner39s feelings and intentions if they reciprocate your feelings Relational uncertainty about general state of your relationship Issues and challenges Are people always motivated to reduce uncertainty Uncertainty management theory seek to know and manage not necessarily reduce all Relational dialectics theory push and pull of tensions in a relationship are healthy 0 Certainty vs novelty Cultural differences in uncertainty tolerance Does information always reduce uncertainty UR Strategies Passive people watch Active using 3 parties or manipulating the environment Interactive direct verbal andor nonverbal communication Extractive non interactive online information seeking strategies Secret tests 0 Asking third parties Getting feedback Similar to active o Directness tests Asking questions Least frequently used 0 Triangle tests Fidelity checks 2 Checking how faithful the party is Jealousy tests 2 Making the partner jealous and see what happens Used a lot 0 Separation tests Physical separation or no contact Second most common 0 Endurance tests Testing relationship limits 0 Public presentation tests Relational labels or actions 0 Indirect suggestion tests Hinting or joking about topic to check partner39s reaction Predicted Outcome Value Theory Outcome values predictions about how rewarding or unrewarding future interactions with a particular person would be We initially reduce uncertainty as a way of finding out how we feel about a person or an interaction Once uncertainty is reduced outcome values predict information seeking such that 0 Positive outcomes will lead to liking and therefore more information seeking 0 Negative outcomes decreased communication Expectancy Violations Theory EV occurs whenever a person39s behavior is different than expected 0 Predictive expectancies what people expect in a given situation based on what normally occurs with that person or that type of relationship 0 Prescriptive expectancies what people expect based on general norms and rules of appropriateness Expectations 0 Expectations develop Communicator characteristics Relationship characteristics Context 0 Positive violations the behavior is better than the expected behavior Responses to expectancy violations depend on O 0 Positive or negative interpretation of behavior Reward potential of person who violated the expectancies Types of expectancy violations in close relationships OOOOOO Criticism or accusations Relationship escalation or de escaation Uncharacteristic relational or social behavior Transgressions Acts of devotion or disregard Gestures of inclusion 12914 719 PM 12914 719 PM
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