CMN 230, Week 2 notes
CMN 230, Week 2 notes CMN 230
Popular in Intro to Interpersonal Comm
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This 4 page Class Notes was uploaded by Naqia Haideri on Thursday January 28, 2016. The Class Notes belongs to CMN 230 at University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign taught by Abendschein, B in Spring 2016. Since its upload, it has received 63 views. For similar materials see Intro to Interpersonal Comm in Communication Studies at University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.
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Date Created: 01/28/16
1/25/16 Defining interpersonal communication Fundamental features of interpersonal communication one on one frequency reciprocity nonverbal Definition: interpersonal cmn is verbal and nonverbal interaction (facetoface or mediated) between two i nterdependent people (DeVito, 2008) Interaction: eye contact, facing one another, body language Interdependence: a relationship without interdependence is not a relationship (Tony Stark and Pepper Potts, roles are dependent on each other) Principles of interpersonal cmn 1. Purposeful ➔ role could be serious or trivial ➔ Both people have their own goals ➔ Patterned, structured, and is purposedriven ➔ People talk to each other for a reason 2. Transactional ➔ give and receive ➔ Reciprocity (listening and talking) ➔ Talk differently and about different things with people depending on your relationship with them (family, friends, coworkers) 3. Relational ➔ relationshipdriven ➔ vulnerability, people have the ability to change your opinions ➔ The way you talk to people defines and affects the relationship (defines: sappy talk defines romantic relationships, affects: it can change the relationship, change the way you interact in that relationship) ➔ interpersonal cmn is the foundation and an outcome of a relationship 4. Irreversible ➔ cannot be unheard, no do overs, or starting over ➔ “your sweater is ugly” 5. Can be synchronous or asynchronous ➔ Synchronous: happening in realtime ◆ Phone calls, texting (can be both), skype, facetoface ➔ Asynchronous: not in realtime, happening across time ◆ email, snapchat, letters, artwork (could be, but not necessarily), twitter 1/27/16 How do people communicate differently in new relationships versus established relationships? Staircase Model of Relationship Development Stages of Coming Together 1. Initiating ➔ Two goals: (1) want to show we are interested in meeting the person, (2) want them to know you are interesting to meet too ➔ Questions: (1) how do I meet this person, (2) is this person even interested in meeting me ➔ Comm at this stage is brief and very formal ➔ Most relationships never get past this stage ➔ First encounter, have to go through this stage to move to the next one 2. Experimenting ➔ Getting to know each other, small talk ➔ (1) finding common ground/ interests to bind us together ➔ (2) auditioning the individual to see if there could be a friendship ➔ How much do I have to risk to be friends with this person (costs vs rewards) 3. Intensifying ➔ Move on from superficial questioning ➔ Integrate our lives/ routines a little bit more ➔ Increasing selfdisclosure, giving nicknames, showing affection ➔ Verbal shortcuts, finishing each other’s sentences 4. Integrating ➔ Two individuals merge into this single shared identity ➔ Integrating our lives/ routines, becoming a couple ➔ Social networks merge (my friends and your friends vs. our friends) ➔ Start to mimic one another sharing gestures, jokes ➔ Rehash memories together (go on trips together, breaks together) ➔ Start to feel an obligation to your partner, even if you incur costs for it 5. Bonding ➔ Final stage ➔ Formalized relationship, declaring commitment, share jewellery ➔ Publicly and legally bound ➔ Changes the nature of the relationship Stages of Coming Apart 5. Differentiating ➔ Using less pronouns (us, we vs me, my) ➔ Start to think about costs and rewards and keep track of them 4. Circumscribing ➔ Quality and quantity of communication decreases ➔ Nothing important to talk about and nothing much to talk about either 3. Stagnating ➔ Going through the motions ➔ No sense of excitement, but all hope is not lost ➔ Do something to intensify the relationship or make it interesting ➔ Perfectly normal, relationships just need to be reinvigorated, but most people don’t do that and move on instead ➔ Increasingly distant 2. Avoiding ➔ People drop the pretense and admit they don’t like it anymore ➔ Move out, avoid the other person ➔ Start to move on with your lives 1. Terminating ➔ Have a chance of maintaining some type of relationship if you have gone through all the stages properly ➔ The better the coming together is, the easier it is for the downhill slope to be better Note about the middle sections of the staircase (Stabilizing) people might stay at a certain step Three Principles of Relational Development 1. Movement is systematic andsequential Incredibly rare to skip steps Partially because of what each step gives us Works for some people to skip steps 2. Movement can be forward,ackward or within stages different types of ways you can do things in each stage 3. Movement is always to a new place movement is always new because we are changing, partner is changing and context is changing too (relationships are dynamic) even if it is with same person, it is still new you can never just pick up where you left off
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