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CMN 230, Week 2 notes

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by: Naqia Haideri

CMN 230, Week 2 notes CMN 230

Naqia Haideri
GPA 3.7
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About this Document

These notes cover the Monday and Wednesday lectures (1/25 and 1/27)
Intro to Interpersonal Comm
Abendschein, B
Class Notes
communication, CMN 230, CMN, Communications, 230




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"No all-nighter needed with these notes...Thank you!!!"
Maximillian Hermann

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This 4 page Class Notes was uploaded by Naqia Haideri on Thursday January 28, 2016. The Class Notes belongs to CMN 230 at University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign taught by Abendschein, B in Spring 2016. Since its upload, it has received 63 views. For similar materials see Intro to Interpersonal Comm in Communication Studies at University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.


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Date Created: 01/28/16
1/25/16  Defining interpersonal communication    Fundamental features of interpersonal communication  ­ one on one  ­ frequency  ­ reciprocity  ­ nonverbal    Definition:​ interpersonal cmn is verbal and nonverbal ​interaction (face­to­face or mediated)  between two i nterdependent​  people (DeVito, 2008)    Interaction: eye contact, facing one another, body language  Interdependence: a relationship without interdependence is not a relationship (Tony Stark and  Pepper Potts, roles are dependent on each other)    Principles of interpersonal cmn    1. Purposeful  ➔ role could be serious or trivial  ➔ Both people have their own goals  ➔ Patterned, structured, and is purpose­driven  ➔ People talk to each other for a reason  2. Transactional  ➔ give and receive  ➔ Reciprocity (listening and talking)  ➔ Talk differently and about different things with people depending on your  relationship with them (family, friends, co­workers)  3. Relational  ➔ relationship­driven  ➔ vulnerability, people have the ability to change your opinions  ➔ The way you talk to people ​ defines and affects the relationship (defines: sappy  talk defines romantic relationships, affects: it can change the relationship, change  the way you interact in that relationship)  ➔ interpersonal cmn is the foundation and an outcome of a relationship  4. Irreversible   ➔ cannot be unheard, no do overs, or starting over  ➔ “your sweater is ugly”  5. Can be synchronous or asynchronous  ➔ Synchronous: happening in real­time  ◆ Phone calls, texting (can be both), skype, face­to­face  ➔ Asynchronous: not in real­time, happening across time  ◆ email, snapchat, letters, artwork (could be, but not necessarily), twitter    1/27/16    How do people communicate differently in new relationships versus established relationships?    Staircase Model of Relationship Development    Stages of Coming Together    1. Initiating   ➔ Two goals: (1) want to show we are interested in meeting the person, (2) want them to  know you are interesting to meet too  ➔ Questions: (1) how do I meet this person, (2) is this person even interested in meeting me  ➔ Comm at this stage is brief and very formal  ➔ Most relationships never get past this stage  ➔ First encounter, have to go through this stage to move to the next one    2. Experimenting  ➔ Getting to know each other, small talk  ➔ (1) finding common ground/ interests to bind us together  ➔ (2) auditioning the individual to see if there could be a friendship  ➔ How much do I have to risk to be friends with this person (costs vs rewards)    3. Intensifying  ➔ Move on from superficial questioning  ➔ Integrate our lives/ routines a little bit more  ➔ Increasing self­disclosure, giving nicknames, showing affection  ➔ Verbal shortcuts, finishing each other’s sentences    4. Integrating  ➔ Two individuals merge into this single shared identity  ➔ Integrating our lives/ routines, becoming a couple  ➔ Social networks merge (my friends and your friends vs. our friends)  ➔ Start to mimic one another ­ sharing gestures, jokes  ➔ Rehash memories together (go on trips together, breaks together)  ➔ Start to feel an obligation to your partner, even if you incur costs for it    5. Bonding  ➔ Final stage  ➔ Formalized relationship, declaring commitment, share jewellery  ➔ Publicly and legally bound  ➔ Changes the nature of the relationship    Stages of Coming Apart    5. Differentiating  ➔ Using less pronouns (us, we vs me, my)  ➔ Start to think about costs and rewards and keep track of them    4. Circumscribing  ➔ Quality and quantity of communication decreases  ➔ Nothing important to talk about and nothing much to talk about either    3. Stagnating  ➔ Going through the motions  ➔ No sense of excitement, but all hope is not lost  ➔ Do something to intensify the relationship or make it interesting  ➔ Perfectly normal, relationships just need to be reinvigorated, but most people don’t do  that and move on instead  ➔ Increasingly distant     2. Avoiding  ➔ People drop the pretense and admit they don’t like it anymore  ➔ Move out, avoid the other person  ➔ Start to move on with your lives    1. Terminating  ➔ Have a chance of maintaining some type of relationship if you have gone through all the  stages properly  ➔ The better the coming together is, the easier it is for the downhill slope to be better    Note about the middle sections of the staircase (Stabilizing)  ­ people might stay at a certain step    Three Principles of Relational Development  1. Movement is ​systematic andsequential   ­ Incredibly rare to skip steps  ­ Partially because of what each step gives us  ­ Works for some people to skip steps    2. Movement can be f​orward,​​ackward ​or within stages  ­ different types of ways you can do things in each stage    3. Movement is always to a new place  ­ movement is always new because we are changing, partner is changing and context is  changing too (relationships are dynamic)  ­ even if it is with same person, it is still new  ­ you can never just pick up where you left off 


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