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by: Colleen McCurry

Communications COM 314

Colleen McCurry
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first set of notes
Dark Side of Interpersonal Communications
Dr. Adam Parrish
Class Notes
Dark Side of Interpersonal Communications




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This 3 page Class Notes was uploaded by Colleen McCurry on Sunday January 31, 2016. The Class Notes belongs to COM 314 at University of Kentucky taught by Dr. Adam Parrish in Winter 2016. Since its upload, it has received 15 views. For similar materials see Dark Side of Interpersonal Communications in Communication at University of Kentucky.


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Date Created: 01/31/16
Friends with Benefits and Jealousy  COM 314   Definition: when 2 people become involved with each other  sexually but do not desire to move into a relationship   Benefits: sex without responsibilities and no commitment   This defies the assumption that sex can co­exist in a  friendship without further leading to more intimacy in a  relationship together   Motives for a FWB relationship:  o Relationship avoidance, not wanting one o Getting sex  o Wanting a simple relationship  o Intimacy  o Being curious   The kinds of LOVE  o Storgic­ evolves from friendship  o Agapic­ selfless and all giving  o Manic­ Obsessive  o Pragmatic­ Practical  o Ludic­ “lets play a love game” (best for FWB)  o Erotic­ all about romance   Boundaries o Sex rules­ no this no that  o Communication rules o Secrecy rules­ who do we tell  o Permanence rules­ how long for  o Emotional rules o Friendship rules  Most people agree that setting rules are important but rarely  do people in the relationship actually set any… this is a  problem.   Four reasons why this happens:  o Conversation defeats the purpose o Nobody wants to seem clingy, especially the women o People don’t want to seem emotional  o When one partner wants to talk the other doesn’t  JEALOUSY   Definition­ a negative emotion that masks some inner  insecurities, it can often mimic anger; there are many  positive and negative consequences.   We like for others to feel jealous over us, but hate feeling  jealousy ourselves.  When jealousy is good and there is partner enhancing: o Renegotiation of rules and boundaries  o Expressing and sharing the jealous feelings  o Getting and asking for explanations  o Increases nonverbal communication and intimacy   When jealousy is bad and there is partner attacking  o  Blaming one another  o Complaining  o Threats  o Sarcasm that can be misunderstood  o Revenge  o Guilt o Throwing an object at the other  o The silent treatment  o Verbal/ Physical Aggression   6 interactive responses to jealousy o Active distancing  o Negative Expressions shown on the face  o Violence either in communication or physical   o Integrative Communication where you can reach an  understanding  o Cursing and Arguing… (Distributive Communication)  o Denial and Avoidance   The positive consequences of jealousy:  o Can show love and affection  o May increase attraction for one another  o Increase pursuit o Can inspire passionate feelings  o May reiterate how much one values his or her partner  o Increase appreciation for one another  o Increase commitment for one another   The negative consequences of jealousy: o Relational dissatisfaction  o Breaking up  o Violence  o Feeling of fear, frustration, sadness, anger, guilt… 


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