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Week 3 notes

by: Becca Hanel

Week 3 notes COMM 1210100-127:Perspectives on Human Communication

Becca Hanel
GPA 3.8

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notes from lecture between 1/25/2016 and 1/27/2016
COMM 1210100-127:Perspectives on Human Communication
dr. ruth hickerson
Class Notes
COMM 1210-100
25 ?




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This 6 page Class Notes was uploaded by Becca Hanel on Monday February 1, 2016. The Class Notes belongs to COMM 1210100-127:Perspectives on Human Communication at University of Colorado taught by dr. ruth hickerson in Fall 2015. Since its upload, it has received 45 views. For similar materials see COMM 1210100-127:Perspectives on Human Communication in Art at University of Colorado.


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Date Created: 02/01/16
COMM 1210­100 Week 3 Notes 1/25/2016 Sending and Receiving Messages cont. > Metamessages  rather than messages themselves, metamessages are often the source of  interpersonal conflicts or perceived conflicts > Body language and Paralanguage  body language= gestures, movements etc. → nonverbal and non vocalized   paralanguage= something you do with your voice to add to verbal communication without the use of actual words → nonverbal but vocalized  > kinds of nonverbal communication  spontaneous: sender’s nonvoluntary display of inner emotional states and a  receiver's direct and immediate sensory awareness  > Understanding nonverbal cues  understand through socialization and interacting with others  > Power of nonverbal codes  more trusted than verbal communication   more emotionally powerful (talking in person is more emotional vs. texting  because unable to see the person and pick up how they are really feeling though  nonverbal cues)  culturally influenced, but express more universal meaning   continuous and natural → difficult to turn nonverbal cues off because most of  them are involuntary  > 3 functions of nonverbal cues  1. express meaning → express how people feel about others and their relationships  with them  3 dimensions: liking, status, responsiveness            2. modify verbal meaning      ­ complementing a message: nonverbal elaboration (greeting somebody with  an extended hand → implies a handshake)      ­ accenting: nonverbals that focus attention on a word       ­ repeating: nonverbal repetition of a message ( saying “no” while shaking  your head)      ­ substituting: nonverbal replacement for verbal message (shaking your head  to convey the word “no” without saying it)        ­ contradicting: nonverbals that contradict verbal message (saying you're  listening when attention is else where)  3. regulate flow of interaction  turn­taking cues: look at someone to cue that you're looking for a response to  what you just said  leave­taking cues: begin zipping up jacket/packing up belongings to cue that  you’re ready to leave > Autism → shows the importance of nonverbal comm  cause difficulties in social interactions, nonverbal and verbal communication (but  still highly functional and intelligent)   explicitly learn about the world → need to be taught how to interact with people  and taught nonverbal cues in order to understand how to express emotions and  to understand the emotions of others (not as good as implicitly learning)  * implicitly learning about the world → learn social cues overtime through socialization  (people who are not autistic) > Nonverbal message systems  visual communication:  o proxemics: how people use or adjust to change in spatial environment   arousal and non arousal (what makes you feel safe in an  environment)   dominance and submissiveness ( judge sits higher than  everybody else in court to convey dominance and power)   pleasure and displeasure ( is you're upset with somebody and you distance yourself from them)       ­ personal space      ­ 4 zones:  intimate (0­18”)  personal (18”­4’)  social (4­12’)  public (12­25’)  haptics: the use of touch o comfort o bonds o relationships o rapport (research shows that the person with more power in a relationship initiates touch more often i.e. a boss patting an employee on the back vs.  employee patting boss on the back)  *touch is the most fundamental and intimate ways we communicate.  its also one of the first ways we learn to communicate as babies  kinesics: body movement, gestures, posture etc. o body movements:  can reveal status, emotional state and interest  often occurs intuitively and without intent  facial expression:  universal expressions= happiness, sadness, surprise, fear, anger  and disgust   may differ throughout cultures based on the level of comfort or  freedom to express these emotions  physical appearance  clothing and adornment  shows marital status (wearing a wedding ring or not)   economic status (wearing expensive brands)   social status/ membership  personality  Chronemic and Olfactives o chronemic:  interpreting messages associated with time  related to status, judgments of people, cultural differences (if  you're late you are giving off the impression that you don't care *  in the US)     ­     olfactive: messages attached to smells      ­   realtors bake cookies during open houses to make the  house come off as “homey” > Auditory communication  paralanguage=vocal (characteristics of the voice *not what is said but how it's  said)   o pitch (up and down) o resonance (deep/low voice= confidence/strength) o articulation (enunciation= confidence/educated) o tempo (fast=excited or nervous) o volume (loud=confident) o rhythm ( emphasis on a particular word *You are late vs. You are late)  > Cybernetic Theory of Relationships ( 1950s)  developed by G. Bateson  applied metamessages to chimps  when chimps play do they know it's playful and not aggressive? o they’re communicating something beyond what we (as humans) on the  surface→ they use metamessages to let the other chimp know that they  are just playing and not actually trying to harm them.   metamessage between chimps is understood by them within the  context of this act & their relationship  > The pragmatics of communication ­ extension of Bateson’s theory to couples and  family communication and therapy  5 Axioms of communication o one cannot not communicate­­ constantly communicating things about  you even when not talking o communication has a context and a relationship aspect  context= what is said  relationship=what is said in context of relationship (example:  seeing your friend in the classroom vs. seeing your friend in a  bar→ will lead to different behavior towards your friend)   the nature of a relationship depends on how both parties punctuate the  communication sequence  human beings communicate both digitally and analogically o digital codes: what the person says/ message o analogical codes: the nonverbals that accompany the verbal message  (harsh, loud voice, red face etc. → a type of metamessage) o example: saying “I’m fine” (digital code) but red face indicates anger  (analogical code)  all communication is either symmetrical or complementary o symmetrical: equal relationship, mirror each other’s behavior (may  escalate competitively) → when you’re around somebody all the time you  start to act in the same ,manner as them e.g. mannerisms   o complementary: unequal relationship, behaviors interlock (may become  rigid)  REVIEW ON WHAT A METAMESSAGE IS: type of message that refers to other messages (a message about a message) both verbal and nonverbal messages can be metacommunicational ex. verbal= “do you understand what I’m saying” ex. nonverbal= wink to communicate that you’re joking  example metamessage: “I was on time” → implies that you were late *there is meaning beyond the literal meaning of a metamessage  1/27/2016 > Assertiveness vs. Aggressiveness vs. Passiveness → is learned through social  interaction and is context­based  Assertive style: o make direct statements about your thoughts and feelings o stand up  for yourself while taking the rights of others into consideration o listen attentively and let others know you heard them o convey confidence as well as empathy   Aggressive style:  o state personal feelings at the expense of others’ feelings o put others down and use sarcasm to humiliate others o attack when you don’t get your way o use absolute terms (e.g. always or never) → don’t take into consideration  what others might think o convey superiority and strength  Passive style:  o doesn’t directly express thoughts or feelings o may use indirect strategies (e.g. crying, muttering, frowning) o listen more than talk (does not voice opinions) o includes lots of disclaimers (e.g. “I don’t know if this is a good idea but…”) o does not convey confidence > Making Assertive Statements: 3 parts 1. state perspective of the situation 2. state feelings about situation 3. state your needs in terms of the situation  example: I think our relationship is taking time away from my studies.  I enjoy  our time together but I have begun to worry about my grades.  I need to figure  out how to balance our relationship while always maintaining my grades. > Assertive Listening as a Skill:  prepare → listen without getting defensive  listen → give the other person your full attention when it's their turn to talk  o ask for clarification if needed so there is no confusion on what either of  you are saying  acknowledge → make it clear to the other person that you have heard and  understand what they were saying o understanding doesn’t necessarily mean you agree with them  *assertive style is not always the most productive means of communicating, but is  needed for a healthy relationship (don’t have to be assertive all the time) >Validation  communicating to another person that you understand their experience in that  moment  does not mean that you agree (though you can), but that you can see things  from their perspective   AND that you understand why they feel the way they do  can encompass everything from a simple nonverbal message to a complete  verbal message  Why validation works in difficult interactions: o it disarms the other person and decreases their defensiveness (when you are not defensive and validate the other person's feelings, they are more  likely to calm down and have a real conversation rather than a screaming  match) o it opens the way for communication that focuses on solutions to the  problems rather than the problem itself o it soothes negative arousal (e.g. increased heart rate, rapid breathing,  anxiety etc.) and calms the other person → leads to  more rational  conversation o it builds trust that problems will not lead to the end of the relationship →  can work together to fix a problem and move past it  o it enhances your own self­respect and reduces regret for your own  behavior ( you won’t become defensive and say things you don’t really  mean)


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