HDFS 1070 Week 5 Notes (Exam 2)
HDFS 1070 Week 5 Notes (Exam 2) HDFS 1070
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This 4 page Class Notes was uploaded by Victoria Tabacchini on Wednesday February 17, 2016. The Class Notes belongs to HDFS 1070 at University of Connecticut taught by Ronald Sabatelli in Spring 2016. Since its upload, it has received 55 views. For similar materials see Individual and Family Development in Human Development at University of Connecticut.
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Date Created: 02/17/16
Ch 11: The Transition to Parenthood 2/17/16 Lecture Notes During the transition to parenthood: Parenthood <> Parenting (these influence one another) How is parenthood structured and experienced? How is parenting structured and experienced? Parenting is how you execute the tasks of being a parent Everyone experiences and structures parenthood in their own unique way Identities are transformed o Work out a whole range of identity issues that have implications on how your child develops and experiences their environment New roles are assumed o Mother or father role Family system rules require adjustment o The change in roles elicit a change in the family system Family System Transitions (Transitions, Stress, Adaptability, and Coping) Key Concepts – Transitions = System Stress o Family system stress: when you say you are personally stressed, you are feeling anxious and distressed in ways that make you feel uncomfortable, which is a bad thing. When you are stressed as a family, it is neither good nor bad. Family system stress is pressure placed on the system that alters how it executes its tasks. There is some event that is occurring inside or outside the family that requires the family to alter its strategies, rules, and customs. There are two types of family system stress: Horizontal stressors Events that happen over time—these include normative and non normative events. Over the course of a family system’s history, the family system experiences normative and nonnormative events. Pileup: at any moment in time you have a certain amount of horizontal stressors that are piled up on top of you at the same time. Ex. Birth of a child and catastrophic event at the same point in time o Normative: birth, divorce o Nonnormative: unexpected events and take by surprise, always defy our expectations... ex. Hurricane Vertical Stressors Stressors that result in families at any point in time from the historical legacy of that family which comes from the way the family member has gotten along over time. It is the “emotional baggage” that exists in families. Ex. When pregnant and becoming a mom, your family has a whole history that interacts with what your history is as you make transition into parenthood. Becoming a mother is different for someone who has always had parents get along in family history than someone who didn’t have that pattern in their family history. A pregnant woman who has a good relationship with her own mother will have an entirely different experience than a pregnant woman cut off from her mom would. o Coping Resources Families and individuals have different resources to deal with events. Resources = refer to knowledge, social support, quality of job environment (if give you time off or not, offer daycare) Tools that enable us to deal with different stressful events Ex. Coping resource could be your own parents Reflected in external boundaries as to whether you can look outside the family for support or only inside o Coping efficacy Adaptability of the system (the measures and countermeasures that the family takes to adjust to the demands of both horizontal and vertical stressors) Adaptations could be good or bad in a sense that they either decrease or increase the stress Ex. Parent takes more hours at work to make more money for their new child creates stress for the mother, so it is considered a bad adaptation How system stress and adaptation apply to the transition to parenthood Pregnancy and parenthood are example of horizontal stressors, which interact with vertical stressors How these horizontal stressors are managed comes from coping resources Becoming a parent has a significant impact on identity tasks, external boundaries, internal boundaries, maintenance tasks, and how the emotional climate is managed Identity Tasks: o Shifting family themes Once you are pregnant, there needs to be shifts in the family theme to a more familyfocused theme (how the family uses their time, money, and resources). It is expected that all of these will be devoted to the baby. It would be worrisome if a mother didn’t make a space in the home for the baby close to their due date. o Taking on the identity of “mom” and “dad” Embrace the transition into becoming a mother or father These transformations are easier if one looks forward to these transitions and has positive adaptations A parent who didn’t want the child in the first place would be more likely not to embrace the new identity than one that planned their pregnancy External Boundaries: stresses the boundaries you have with your parents and extended family if pregnant these can amplify conflict o External boundaries change the environment of the child Ex. If grandparents are not connected, then the child doesn’t have grandparents in his or her life o Where are the sources of support coming from? Adjusting connections to family members o Reworking ties with friends Socialize differently with friends when pregnant in hope that they are supportive of you or find yourself gravitate towards friends who have babies and away from the ones who don’t For men: when him and his partner are pregnant, it is expected that they start preparing themselves to become a dad don’t go out anymore because preparing to not go out all the time when the baby is born. This is hard for men because there are a set of pressures from society that believe “real” men don’t care about their wives and children: “whipped.” This is a negative identity, so men still go out even though they should be home. There is a tendency for women to seek out support in a network, while for men it’s different. o Seeking out information and support Want to be surrounded by a network of friends and family that are supporting of you and your pregnancy Internal boundaries o Couples needing to rework patterns of separateness and connectedness o Have times when they are together and apart When you have babies and children, there is a pressure to be together more and to do everything together, which can cause tension. Ex. Shopping for a crib, set up the crib Maintenance tasks o The “traditionalizing effect” of babies on couples! Tends to result in more traditional housework and housekeeping patterns that were not there before the child was born. Ex. Mothers do more “mom” tasks while fathers are out of the house more Have a belief that if the mother is home with the children, she has more time to do housework, which is not true because so preoccupied with the baby. Causes longterm conflicts about housework symbolic of caring for one another. If one feels that their husband or wife isn’t helping enough, they get upset because they feel like they don’t care. Maintaining the Emotional Climate (ordinary difficulties become problems when you mismanage or ignore them) o Anxiety, stress, emotional support and empathic responsiveness Decentering: requires an commitment to be supportive to another person in an act of selflessness (parents need to take turns decentering) When both moms and dads are stressed they tend to be less responsive to one another and become more needy end up believing there is no support in their relationship o The relationship between expectations and complaints Violation of expectations and complaints When women have babies, they expect their partner to be more supportive and help out more around the house—if their partner doesn’t deliver, their expectations are violated, which then leads to complaints and dissatisfaction o Reworking the sexual relationship Symbolic activity: symbolizes a special connection and bond you have created with someone Across pregnancy and the transition to parenthood, there are challenges that are presented in the sexual relationship Many couples believe they need to change their sexual relationship because they are pregnant, which is not true When the baby is born, there is fatigue, which changes sex for couples o New patterns of recreation and companionship Many men think that they should be able to maintain what they did for recreation prior to their baby and that their partner should be content watching them, which is not entirely true. Sabatelli, Ronald. “Transition to Parenthood.” HDFS 1070. University of Connecticut, Storrs. 17 February 2016. Lecture.
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