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by: Colleen McCurry

Communication COM 313

Colleen McCurry

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About this Document

one week of notes
Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships
Dr. Kelly McAninch
Class Notes
COM 313
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This 4 page Class Notes was uploaded by Colleen McCurry on Thursday February 18, 2016. The Class Notes belongs to COM 313 at University of Kentucky taught by Dr. Kelly McAninch in Winter 2016. Since its upload, it has received 11 views. For similar materials see Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships in Communication at University of Kentucky.


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Date Created: 02/18/16
Communicating Identity and Attraction  COM 313 ID is the person you think you are and the person you  communicate to everyone else.   Why are we studying ID in a close relationship class?  o Your ID is a relational which means that it is based on  relationships   The Communication Theory of ID   Personal Frame­ when we have the power  over our ID   Enactment Frame­ the ID that is constructed  with interactions with other people   Relational Frame­ what we get with repeated interactions in a relationships that builds an  ID over time  Communal Frame­ the ID that is influenced  by cultural norms   Self Expansion Theory: we grow and expand our  ID with our close relationships with others, a  visual example is to think of merging   You communicate your ID all the time!   Self­Presentation involves the things that you do to help  portray a certain image that you want of yourself, like when  you maximize your strengths and minimize your weaknesses. o Self Monitoring­ High vs. Low  o Online Self Presentation:   Broadcasters   Interactors  Spies  o Politeness Theory: the theory of ID management and us wanting to protect our and others ID or face   Positive Face­ image of being likeable, valued   Negative Face­ image of being in control of life,  independent  Remember that positive and negative does  not mean good and bad!  o Sometimes people threaten each others faces   Face Threatening Acts: this is when someone says or does something that calls into question  someone’s likeability or independence   Politeness Strategies to help minimize offending some others  o Reinforce the persons likeability and value to minimize  you looking mean­ positive politeness  o Give the persons option to minimize you looking bossy­ negative politeness  o Hint around at the idea that is threatening­ off record  o Shit your mouth and do not say anything and get over it o Be direct and risk offending someone­ bald on record  Corrective FaceWork­ repairing the image  o Avoid it and hope no one notices o Use humor to try and lighten the current situation  o Apologize  o Try to excuse your behavior­ account  o Do something to make up for it­ reparation  o Damage someone else’s image in return­ aggression  Attraction   Pheromones: Chemical Signals that indicate reproductive and  genetic readiness.  What happens to your body’s chemistry during a first kiss? Your  body goes into its fight or flight response.    Types of Attraction:  o Physical­ appearances  o Task­ They are useful for something that they can do for you o Social­ we like who they seem to be to us   What predicts attraction?  o Similarity’s – this breeds attraction   With this we are attracted to others who…   Have similar attitudes to us   Reinforcement model­ they reinforce our attitudes  Share our same communication skills with the  differential importance explanation of more or  less   Match us in physical attractiveness­ the matching  hypothesis, wanting someone the same number as  us  o Complementarity­ meaning opposites attract   We want someone with different behaviors and  resources but not beliefs and values.  This relationship works better with casual relationships.  Fatal Attraction: the same qualities that draw us in are the same  ones to make us leave.  o This is most likely to happen when:   They are completely opposite   Personality is extreme   The person is a narcissist  o Why does fatal attraction happen?   They cast their positive qualities more than their  negative ones   People usually hide or ignore their negative qualities o Guidelines for boosting attraction:  Always play up your rewarding aspects   Violate peoples expectations, but in a good way   Communicate warmth, sociability, strength, and other  things but only if you are willing to keep up with it   Be the person you want to attract  


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