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Chapter 13 Uncoupling

by: AmberNicole

Chapter 13 Uncoupling CDFR 1103


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About this Document

This explains all of the notes covered in lecture on uncoupling.
Marriage and the Family
Dr. Alan C. Taylor
Class Notes
Child, development, family, relations, child development, family relations, Child Development and Family Relations, Taylor, dr. alan taylor, Dr. Taylor, uncoupling, complex, divorce, trends, high, low, Men, Women, Stats, socioeconomic, status, socioeconom
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This 6 page Class Notes was uploaded by AmberNicole on Tuesday April 12, 2016. The Class Notes belongs to CDFR 1103 at East Carolina University taught by Dr. Alan C. Taylor in Winter 2016. Since its upload, it has received 19 views. For similar materials see Marriage and the Family in Child Development at East Carolina University.


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Date Created: 04/12/16
Chapter 13: Uncoupling  Uncoupling is complex o There is no one size fits all when it comes to dissolution of a relationship  Divorce is not an isolated event o It involves a series of transitions that includes both emotional and legal processes Today’s Divorce Trends  Highest Rates o Men under the age of 45 o Women under the age of 45  Lowest Rates o Men 60 and older o Women 60 and older  Approximately 1/3 of marriages among young adults (those in their 20’s) will end in divorce within 10 years, and 43% within 15 years Why are couples divorcing?  Socioeconomic status and life course characteristics at the time of marriage can play an important role in the probability of a marriage ending in divorce  Age at marriage – Married at a younger age has a higher divorce rate – Older marriage age has less divorce rates  Premarital pregnancy – Leads to an early marriage, which increases the risk of divorce due to the age at marriage principle mentioned previously  Parental separation – More likely for a child to have divorce when they are old if the parents separated when they were a child  Cohabitation before marriage – Living together before marriage tends to increase the chance of a divorce occurring in the future.  Religiosity of the couple – Some couples do not get divorces due to their religious beliefs that say divorce is wrong.  Fewer moral, social, and legal constraints to motivate couples to stay together.  What certain landmarks in history do you believe may have influenced the way we view divorce today? Stages of Divorce 1. Emotional divorce  Determined that you want to end the marriage, but have not followed through with the divorce 2. Legal divorce  Official legal act of a divorce  The beginning of the legal process 3. Economic divorce  Who gets the house, cars, kids, ect. 4. Co-parenting divorce  What to do with kids after divorce and how much time is allowed to spend with kids 5. Community divorce  Friends of the partner – do you stay friends or no? 6. Psychic divorce  Individual divorce  You are able to get over it  Takes 1-3 years for most people to officially move on from a divorce.  What makes divorce hard is the relationships that tie to the marriage whether it be friends, family, or children. His and Her Divorce  Both ex-spouses are victims.  One may be more hurt than the other, but it still affects both partners.  The first year after divorce is stressful for both ex-spouses.  If economic discrimination faced by women and gender role expectations faced by men were eliminated, the difficulties could be alleviated.  Females also make less than males (by about 80 cents to every dollar), making it harder after divorce. That why child-support payments are used to help the women when she does not make as much money. Her Divorce  Women who were married a long time lose the identity associated with their husband’s status.  The women may no longer go to school and lose her career, as opposed to the man going to medical school and becoming a doctor.  Older women have few opportunities for career development.  Divorced mothers must provide financial and day-to-day support for their children.  Custodial mothers struggle with money, scheduling and discipline problems. His Divorce  Anger, grief and loneliness may be aggravated by the male gender role, which discourages them from sharing feelings with other men.  Non-custodial fathers retain the financial obligations of fatherhood while experiencing fewer of its joys.  Pays child-support, but does not get to experience the joys of being a father, thereby not sustaining a close relationship with the child  Visitation is often awkward and superficial.  30 years ago, 90% of the time women would get full custody of child because women are seen as beter capable of raising child. However, we are beginning to see a shift of more men taking custody of children nowadays. Reactions to Divorce  Girls are most likely to experience depression.  Girls are more likely to have stronger relationships with mother, and all of a sudden the mother is gone due to the divorce  Boys are more likely to have conduct problems and become depressed if father is absent.  Built stronger relationship with father, and then all of a sudden, the father is gone. Why are Couples Divorcing  Loss of income increases the risk of divorce.  Couples don’t divorce to keep a steady income flow from both spouses  More likely to have divorce if money decreases  Job loss  Marriage has been redefined as a nonpermanent union.  Spouses may enter the union with reservations and behave as if their marriage could end.  Bad intentions of future marriage  If parents divorced when there is a child, that child is more likely to have a divorce in the future  Fewer social, legal and moral constraints.  Having divorced parents increases the likelihood of divorce. Factors Associated with Divorce  Remarried mates  3X more likely to divorce than the first time marriage  But you know what to do and what not to do, which could be seen as a better outcome on the next marriage.  Cohabitation before marriage  Religious views  Some religions do not allow couples to live together before marriage or have pre-marital sex.  Premarital pregnancy and child rearing  Couples often decide to marry because of a pregnancy, and when it is correlated with younger age, there is a higher risk factor of divorce.  Remaining child-free  If in marriage you do not have children, risk of divorce is much higher than couples with children  Children tie family together Other Demographic Factors  Lower status job = higher chance of divorce  Wife's employment = higher chance of divorce  She has resource options, thereby does not need to be with the husband  Higher family income = lower the chance of divorce  More money  Higher wife’s income = higher the chance of divorce  More money and more options Higher the education = lower the chance of divorce  Allows for more career options and oportunites, thereby making more money  If there are resources available, money, support, system, people get more divorces. However, when there are less resources available, there is a less chance of a divorce. More Factors  Younger the age at marriage = Greater chance of divorce  Greater the religious attendance = Lower the divorce  Divorce is contrary to their religious beliefs Perspectives: Negative Effects of Divorce on Children  Life stress - accumulation of stressors results in problems for children of divorce.  Unless there is violence and abuse, children want the parents to typically stay together. This puts a lot of stress on the children to do.  Parental loss - assumes both parents in the same house is best for children.  After divorce, the child will spend less time with one of their parents, emotionally affecting the child.  Parental adjustment - quality of parenting is important in children’s adjustment to divorce.  3 different parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive  Could change after divorce.  Authoritarian Parenting Style  Parents have high expectations of their children  Have very strict rules that they expect to be followed unconditionally.  Authoritative Parenting Style  Not as controlling as authoritarian parents  Allows child to explore more freely, thus having the child make his or her own decsions based upon their own reasoning  Often produce children who are more independent and self-reliant Reasons for Negative Effects of Divorce on Children  Economic hardship  Assumes the economic hardship caused is responsible for problems faced by children with divorced parents.  Even if child support is paid, it is still hard because that has to go to food, clothes, etc, and not fun activities.  Interparental conflict  Conflict between parents is responsible for the lowered well-being of children of divorce. Custody Issues  Sole Custody  After a divorce, and the judge says you have sole custody of these 3 kids. This means the person has legal and decision making powers (such as health care) over child. However, the child is still allowed to see other parent  Joint Custody (Legal and/or Physical)  After a separation, parents share in custody physically in living with the child or legal decisions for the child  Joint custody shares child  Split Custody  Kids are split up between the family (one goes to mother, while the other goes to father) Age of Children at Divorce: How children react differently  Younger children (3 - 5 years old) “Where did my parent do –will my other parent leave?”  School age (6 – 12 years old) “Was it my fault” – puts blame on self  They are not looking to blame parents, they are looking to blame themselves  Adolescents (13 - 18 years old) Tend to blame one parent instead of themselves, which are seen in school age children. These children usually understand more of what is going on in the fights, such as a parent cheating, thereby putting the blame on that parent.


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