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This 5 page Class Notes was uploaded by Anna Shaw on Wednesday April 20, 2016. The Class Notes belongs to COMM 1500-005 at Clemson University taught by Marianne H. Glaser in Fall 2015. Since its upload, it has received 9 views.
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Date Created: 04/20/16
Chapter 14: Developing and Maintaining Relationships: From Formation to Dissolution Relationship Formation Interpersonal Attraction—the desire to interact with someone based on a number of factors o Physical attributes: 1 impressions (assumptions, stereotypes) Instantly a fondness or dislike Look for similarities often or people that are very different o Communication and attraction The argument in book: we are fear rejection and b/c of that we chose to communicate with people who have a similar level or attractability If you’re an “8”, and someone who is a 10 came by, you may not communicate with them b/c you fear rejection b/c they're out of your league People like similar attractiveness level o Chemistry or physical attraction st It is important (attraction at 1 sight) It can develop (attractiveness to them) o Meeting online Meeting someone online à today there is less of an endpoint More challenging to move on without meeting face to face Relationships: Initiation or Coming together Initiating Knapp: believed that in order for relationships to move on they must go through theses satges of growth Don’t’ have to stay in each level for the same amount of time 1 15 secs. When ppl meet there’s a brief exchange of words Start to form impressions Would I like to experiment? o Experimenting Small talk, awkward My name is…, im from…, my major is… Kinda like an audition There are many that can stay in this stage (doesnt have to get deeper) Intensifying Close friends Increasing shared amount of information You may recognize you’re here (start to making nicknames) Can be platonic or nickname; can use plural pronouns (ours, us,we) Towards the end: direct expression of committment o Integrating tight sense of togetherness Deepening amount of personal information Relationship has higher priority onding Public announcement Engagement, wedding Definite deepening b/c if you break up, you got to let everyone know 5 Relationship Maintenance Strategies Positivity o Communicative behaviors that make others feel good o Friendly, cheerful, polite, patient o Pleasant to be around o Want relationship to build? à be positive Openness o Willing to selfdisclose and talk about the relationship o Need to talk about the relationship (not all the time) o Be open and share feelings o Balance o Longdistance: don’t always talk about the negative all the time (I miss you days), encourgae to have good positive relationship Assurances o Verbal and nonverbal that demostrate a commitment o Holding hands, gifts, saying it Blending Social Networks o Friends come together and support the relationship o Encouragement Sharing tasks o Fair share Relationship Disolution Signs That Relationships Are in Trouble Aggressive Behavior Aiming to hurt the other party o Not always extreme: can be meanness o “zingers”, sassiness/snarkieness Lies o Deceives another by not telling the truth o Not telling the full truth o Are there secrets? Betrayal o Extramarital affairs, gossip, and harmful criticism o Deception and betrayal are similar. The difference is that betrayal violates a confidence and an agreed on expectation. Could end relationship Relationships: Coming Apart Stage Differentiating o The differences are now annoying o Things that were ours are now singular o tolerating Circumscribing o Information exchange is reduced o Conversations are not dialogues à lead to arguments à so you stop talking/communicating in general Stagnating o Both verbal and nonverbal communication is planned out (don’t want to cause an argument) Avoiding o Physical and emotional Terminating o The antibonding stage o Make it official that y’all are done o Each person goes to the friends and justifies Duck’s Phases of Dissolution The Intrapsychic Phase o Analyzing the state of the relationship The Dyadic Phase o B/t the 2 of you, you talk about the stage of relationship Nice and not nice The Social Phase The GraveDressing Phase o Explain why it happened Interpersonal Conflict According to Wilmot and Hocker conflict is: o “an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from others in achieving their goals.” Causes Faulty Communication o Could more happen likely online Faulty attribution errors Faulty perceptions o Our way isn’t necessarily right or best o “Put yourself in their shoes” Personality traits o Differences in characteristics Both Sides of Conflict Destructive o Winner vs. loser o Too aggressive behaviors, withdrawal, withholding feelings o Prevents work or feeling good about ourselves o Forces us to do things we do not want to do o Outcome more important than the relationship o Form of bullying Beneficial o Bring out problems that need solving o Bring people together to clarify goals and explore new ideas o Eliminate resentments and help in understanding o Bring out creativity o Produce acceptable solutions o Pay attention to other points of view o Bring new life into a relationship Strategies for conflict management How did you react? Situational Withdrawing o Avoidance (physically and emotionally) Accommodating o Satisfying other person needs and neglecting your own needs o Sometimes we need to choose our battles Forcing o Satisfying your own needs with no concern for others o Good: an intervention Negotiating/Compromising o Satisfying both parties (trying to) o Neither are completely satisfied Collaboration o View it as a issue where you both decide to come to a solution together Improve Communication Competence Address issues clearly o Be clear; leave no room for error/misinterpretation Treat others with respect Know that praise will most likely produce desired responses o Praise in public. Punish in private (shows respect) Establish Supportive and Caring Relationships Nurture a Supportive Environment o Caring, open, flexible, receptive Invite More Communication o Listen and ask for more
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