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Lecture 22 - Attraction & Relationships Pt. 2

by: Leslie Ogu

Lecture 22 - Attraction & Relationships Pt. 2 PSYC 2012

Marketplace > George Washington University > Psychlogy > PSYC 2012 > Lecture 22 Attraction Relationships Pt 2
Leslie Ogu
GPA 3.01

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About this Document

We conclude our talk about attraction and relationships. In this lecture, we go over the different types and forms of love. We also discuss gender differences when it comes to what people look for ...
Social Psychology
Stock, M
Class Notes
social, Psychology, attraction, Relationships, love, Styles, types, eros, agape, mania, pragma, ludus, storge, Obsessive, consummate, fatuous, companionate, Romantic, empty, infatuation, liking, commitment, long-term, short-term, Intimacy, passion, sternberg, Gender, differences, Women, Men, Physical, resources, reproduce, jealousy, promiscuity, mate, selection, picky, partners
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This 4 page Class Notes was uploaded by Leslie Ogu on Thursday April 21, 2016. The Class Notes belongs to PSYC 2012 at George Washington University taught by Stock, M in Fall 2015. Since its upload, it has received 9 views. For similar materials see Social Psychology in Psychlogy at George Washington University.


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Date Created: 04/21/16
Leslie Ogu PSYC 2012  04/20/2016 ­ Attraction & Relationships Pt. 2    Attraction & Relationships  ➢ Triangular Theory of Love (Sternberg)  ○ Intimacy:​ feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness  ○ Passion:​  drive towards intense emotions  ■ Sexual attraction  ■ Intense longing, physiological arousal, heart pounding  ○ Commitment  ■ Short­Term: decision to love someone  ■ Long­Term: decision to maintain love  ➢ Types of Love  ○ Liking (intimacy alone)  ■ Bondedness, warmth, and closeness  ■ friends  ○ Infatuation (passion alone)  ■ Love at first sight, can be obsessive and great sadness when love  is not reciprocated; intense longing for a person coupled with  physiological arousal  ○ Empty Love (commitment alone)  ■ Beginnings of an arranged marriage  ■ No emotion or physical relationship  ○ Romantic Love (intimacy + passion)  ■ Physical attraction and sharing of emotions  ■ Not long term  ● Like a summer fling  ○ Companionate Love (intimacy + commitment)  ■ Family relationships; long­term, deep friendships  ■ Intimacy, affection, and deep caring, but no passion or arousal  ○ Fatuous Love (passion + commitment)  ■ Whirlwind courtship and marriage in which commitment is  motivated by passion without intimacy  ○ Consummate Love (intimacy + passion + commitment)  ■ Ultimate, ideal love; combinesal components  ➢ Love Styles  ○ Romantic partners tend to have similar love styles **  ○ Eros: ​passionate love  ■ Love at first sight  ■ Men typically have higher ratings **  ■ Sample Question: My lover and I were attracted to each other  immediately after we first met.  ○ Agape:​  selfless love  ■ Putting one’s lover above one’s self  ■ Highly correlated with religiosity **  ■ Sample Question: I would rather suffer than let my lover suffer. I  would endure all things for the sake of my lover.  ○ Mania:​  possessive love  ■ Feeling of ownership over lover  ■ Women typically have higher ratings **  ■ Sample Questions: I cannot relax if I suspect that my lover is with  somebody else. When my lover doesn’t pay attention to me, I feel  sick all over.  ○ Pragma:  ​logical love  ■ Cognitive appreciation for other’s quality  ■ Women typically have higher ratings **  ■ Sample Question: It is best to love somebody with a similar  background.  ○ Ludus:​  game playing love  ■ Flirtatious and not committed  ■ Men typically have higher ratings **  ■ Sample Question: I have sometimes had to keep my two lovers  from finding out about each other.  ○ Storge:​  friendship love  ■ Very close friendship becomes love  ■ 66% of subjects in a study rate “high” on this scale  ■ Women typically have higher ratings **  ■ Sample Question: Love is really a deep friendship, not a  mysterious, mystical emotion.    Love: Evolutionary Theory  ➢ Both men and women want kids who will survive adulthood and have their own  kids.  ○ But, they have different strategies:  ■ Men: It’s easy to reproduce. So, have as much sex with healthy  women as possible!  ■ Women: It takes 9 months. So, be picky, choose a man who will  stick around to help and provide resources to you and your baby.  ➢ This theory can provide an explanation for current gender differences in three  specific things: **  ○ Mate selection  ○ Jealousy  ○ Promiscuity  ➢ Questions ***  ○ When selecting a mate, which of the following are most important?  ■ Physical Attractiveness (Men scored higher)  ■ Ambition and industriousness (Women scored higher)  ■ Exciting personality (Men scored higher)  ■ Good financial prospects (Women scored higher)  ■ Good looks (Men scored higher)  ■ Caring and responsible personality (Women scored higher)  ○ Would you prefer a younger or older mate?  ■ Men wanted younger; Women wanted older  ➢ Why gender differences?  ○ One possibility is that man and women have ​ evolved​ different preferences  ○ Mate Selection  ■ Men and women have different mate preferences due to their  differences in reproductive ability  ■ Men “prefer” women who can reproduce  ● Youthfulness / fit = reproductive capabilities  ● Attractiveness = reproductive health  ■ Women “prefer” men who have resources for self & child (want  stability)  ● Older men = more resources  ● Money and status = more resources  ■ Women’s desire for mates with resources and men’s desire for  youth found in 37 cultures  ■ Both motivated to display what is desired (appearance v.  resources)  ■ Derogation of competitors  ● Women: Physical  ● Men: Resources  ○ Jealousy  ■ Men tended to be more jealous if a partner cheated for physical  reasons and were not emotionally attached; Women tended to be  more jealous if their partner was deeply in love with someone but  wasn’t physically intimate with them  ■ Men  ● Paternity uncertainty  ● Never sure if kid is theirs  ● Don’t want to waste resources if not  ■ Women  ● “Need man” to stick around after impregnated to give his  resources  ● Don’t want resources given to other women  ○ Promiscuity  ■ Men are predicted to be more so (easy to reproduce)  ■ Women have limited supply of eggs, time, and resources; thus  must be choosier & less promiscuous  ■ Evidence? Clark & Hatfield (1990)  ● Had attractive assistants approach students of opposite sex  on a campus and ask questions (Go on a date? Go back to  my apartment tonight? Have sex with me?)  ● Men were more likely to agree to all (women were pretty  close when it came to dates)  ■ Casual Sex  ● Men = ideally have 18 partners  ● Women = desire 4­5 in lifetime  ● 94% of women said they would feel guilt after a one­night  stand **; 50% of men report the same  ■ Is long­term commitment necessary for sexual activity to take  place?  ● 1­5 scale (higher numbers = commitment is necessary)  ● Men = 2.5  ● Women = 3.7 


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