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HDFS 3400 Chapter 7

by: Caroline Bacevice

HDFS 3400 Chapter 7 3440

Caroline Bacevice
GPA 3.608
Human Sexuality
Katye Miller

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Human Sexuality
Katye Miller
Class Notes
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This 6 page Class Notes was uploaded by Caroline Bacevice on Friday February 27, 2015. The Class Notes belongs to 3440 at Ohio State University taught by Katye Miller in Spring2015. Since its upload, it has received 109 views. For similar materials see Human Sexuality in Human Development at Ohio State University.

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Date Created: 02/27/15
Human Sexuality Chapters 7 What is Love It s hard to define love In the last 60 years 30 different measures of love have been developed TypesofLove Passionate Love 0 Passionate Love state of extreme absorption in another person also known as romantic love 0 Intense feelings of tenderness elation anxiety sexual desire and ecstasy Accompanied by physiological arousal o For some intense passionate love is short lived and when it dies the relationship withers 0 However in a study correlates of longterm intense love included positive thoughts about the partner affectionate behavior shared activities frequent sexual activity and general life happiness Compassionate Love 0 Compassionate Love A type of love characterized by friendly affection and deep attachment based on extensive familiarity with the loved one 0 Less intense than passionate love 0 Often encompasses a tolerance for another s shortcomings along with a desire to overcome difficulties and con icts in a relationship 0 Sexual pleasure enhanced by communication strengthens the overall bond of a compassionate relationship Sternber s Triangular Theory of Love 0 Passion the motivational component of Sternberg s triangular love theory 0 Intimacy The emotional component of Sternberg s triangular love theory 0 Commitment The thinking component of Sternberg s triangular love theory 0 These three can vary in degrees in different relationships but these three components make up love Lee s Styles of Loving 0 Romantic style eros emphasis on physical and visual love 0 Gameplaying style ludus many sexual conquests with little or no commitment o Possessive style mania often characterized by turmoil and jealousy o Compassionate style storge slow to develop affection and commitment but tend to experience relationships that endure Altruistic style agape sel ess and caring desire to give with the expectation of reciprocity Pragmatic style pragma select lovers based on rational practical criteria Approach love in a business like fashion Falling in Love Why and With Whom The Chemistry of Love 0 0 That elated quothighquot feeling is a result of norepinephrine dopamine and especially phenylethlamine PEA 6 neurotransmitters Typically this does not last we develop a tolerance to PEA and related neurotransmitters Endorphins occurs from the progression from infatuation to the deep attachment characteristic of long term loving relationships Dopamine and oxytocin contribute as well Proximity 0 0 Proximity the geographic nearness of one person to another which is an important factor in interpersonal attraction Mere Exposure Effect A phenomenon in which repeated exposure to novel stimuli tends to increase an individuals liking for stimuli Similarity the similarity of beliefs interests and values which is a factor in attracting people to one another Similarity O O Similarity the similarity of beliefs interests and values is a factor in attracting people to one another Referred to as homophily Reciprocity O Reciprocity the principle that when we were recipients of expressions of liking or loving we tend to respond in kind Physical Attractiveness O 0 Physical Attractiveness physical beauty which is a powerful factor in attracting lovers to each other Many people apparently believe that beautiful people have more to offer in terms of desirable personal qualities than those who are less attractive Cross cultural study provided that men worldwide place a greater value than women do Worldwide women place greater value on a potential mate who is somewhat older had good financial prospects were dependable and industrious Love and Style of Attachment Attachment Intense emotional tie between two individuals such as an infant and a parent or adult lovers Attachment Styles O Securely Attached used their mothers as a safe base for happily exploring the new environment and playing with toys in the room Anxiousambivalent attachment infants manifesting extreme separation anxiety when their mothers left Avoidant attachment infants seeming to want close bodily contact with their mothers but to be reluctant to seek this Adult Intimate Relationships as an Attachment Process 0 O 0 Social scientists have conceptualized adults close or romantic relationships as an attachment process They are categorized in three types Securely Attached find it easy to get close to others and feel comfortable with others being close to them They feel secure in a relationship and do not fear being abandoned Anxious Ambivalent often have a poor self image and feel insecure and dissatisfied with their romantic relationships Avoidant may be less resistant to temptations for infidelity due to lower levels of commitment in romantic relationshipsquot often distrusting their partner Issues in Loving Relationships What is the Relationship between Love and Sex 0 O O Hookups Short term loveless sexual liaisons that occur during a brief interval Friends with Benefits sexual interactions between friends who do not define their relationship as romantic I FWBs are quite common on college campuses ranging from 51 617 Does Sexual Intimacy Deepen a Love Relationship I Sometimes people attempt to justify their sexual behavior by deciding they are in love It is likely some couples enter into premature commitments Do Men and Women View Sex and Love Differently I Men are more likely than women to define being in love and to assess the quality of the romantic involvement in terms of sexual satisfaction I It is easier for men to have sex for pleasure and physical release without an emotional commitment I The difference is probably a re ection of cultural factors I These differences tend to diminish with age older women are more likely than younger women to list desire for physical pleasure as an important motivation for sex Do Heterosexuals Gay Men and Lesbians View Love and Sex Differently I Homosexuals generally seek out loving trusting caring relationships that embrace many dimensions of sharing in addition to sexual intimacy I Lesbians and gay men differ in the degree which they associate emotional closeness or love with sex consistent with overall differences between men and women and their views of sex and love I Love plays a prominent role in the lives of homosexual people as a nexus for establishing a selfimposed identity as either a lesbian or gay man Iealousy in Relationships 0 Iealousy an aversive emotional reaction evoked by a real or imagined relationship involving one s partner and a third person 0 More related to injured pride or people s fear of losing what they want to control or possess than to love 0 The Sexes Differing Experiences of jealousy I Women are more likely than men to acknowledge feeling jealous I Women s jealousy tends to focus on her partner s emotional involvement with another person whereas a man s jealousy tends to focus on his partner s sexual involvement with another I Women often blame themselves when a con ict over jealousy arises men typically attribute their jealousy to a third party or to their partner s behavior I Women are more likely to want to cause jealousy Maintaining Relationship Satisfaction Ingredients in a Lasting Love Relationship 0 Self acceptance acceptance by one s partner appreciation of one another commitment good communication realistic expectations shared interests equality in decision making and the ability to face con ict effectively Sexual Variety An Important Ingredient 0 Not every couple feels the need for sexual variety but if you prefer to develop more variety in your sexual relationship communication is key The Importance of Sexual Communication Mutual empathy The underlying knowledge that each partner in a relationship cares for the other and knows that the care is reciprocated Talking Getting Started Talking About Talking Reading and Discussing 0 Many find it easier to read about sex rather than to talk about it Sharing Sexual Histories Listening and Feedback Be and Active Listener actively communicating that you are both listening to and are genuinely interested in what your partner is saying Maintain Eye Contact shows our partner that we care about what they have to say Provide Feedback Support Your Partner s Communication Efforts Express Unconditional Positive Regard Discovering Your Partner s Needs Asking Questions 0 Yes no Questions this provides little opportunity for discussing an issue 0 OpenEnded Question allows a respondent to share any feeling or information she or he thinks is relevant 0 Either or Question allows a statement of preference Self Disclosure 0 Internet Relationships some look for relationships online some want to explore their sexual fantasies They can be anonymous or out right which can be an advantage for someone who s shy or a disadvantage because of the possibility of lies Discussing Sexual Preferences Giving Permission providing reassurance to one s partner that it is okay to talk about specific feelings or needs Learning to Make Requests Taking Responsibility for Our Own Pleasure Making Requests Specific Using 1 Language Expressing and Receiving Complaints Constructive Strategies for Expressing Complaints 0 Choosing the Right time and Place 0 Temper Complaints with Praise 0 Avoid Why Questions 0 Express Negative Emotions Appropriately 0 Limit Complaints to One per Discussion Receiving Complaints 0 Acknowledge a Complaint and Find something to Agree With 0 Ask Clarifying Questions 0 Express your feelings 0 Focus on Future Changes You Can Make Saying No A ThreeStep Approach to Saying No 0 Express appreciation for the invitation 0 Say no in a clear unequivocal fashion 0 Offer an alternative if applicable Avoid Sending Mixed Messages Nonverbal Sexual Communication Facial Expressions Interpersonal Distance Touching Sounds Communication Patters in Successful and Unsuccessful Relationships Gottman s Constructive Communication Tactics 0 Leveling and Editing I Leveling involves stating our thoughts and feelings clearly simply and honestly I Editing means that we do not say things that we know would be hurtful to our partners and we limit our comments to information relevant to the issue at hand 0 Validating telling out partners that we can understand why they think or feel the way they do 0 Volatile Dialogue Gottman s Destructive Communication Tactics 0 Criticism expression of contempt and denigration can harm a relationship 0 Contempt degrades communication to an even more intense level of negativity by adding insults sarcasm and even name calling 0 Defensiveness o Stonewalling occurs when a person concludes that any response to a partner s criticism or complaint will not be helpful or productive and therefore decides not to respond at all 0 Belligerence entails a purposely provoking style or interaction intended to diminish or challenge a partners right to in uence patterns of interaction in the relationship


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