Notes for weeks 1-2
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This 3 page Class Notes was uploaded by Kirsten Notetaker on Monday September 12, 2016. The Class Notes belongs to at Lewis University taught by Ms. Rzeszutko in Fall 2016. Since its upload, it has received 4 views.
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Date Created: 09/12/16
Grief - our emotional response to loss, our emotions are inside of us, the inward expression of loss, you may not be able to tell how a person is grieving until you talk to them, crying is more related to the behavioral reaction to loss Morning - our outward ability to experience a loss, also what we do to experience that loss, we associate mourning with our customs and rituals - like funerals, different funeral practices, this depends on how mourning takes place Bereavement - bereavement can be time off that you are given from work, also the timeframe while dealing with loss, both the inner and outward reactions to loss All three are about time, you need to know the difference in order to better help people who are dealing with a loss, sometimes outward expression to not match inner expressions, helps with assessment to know the difference "Death ends a life not a relationship." What is loss? - the absence of a possession or even the possibly of the absence of a future possession, a miscarriage, not making a team, ending a friendship Every loss has the potential to have a grief reaction Loss if objective, you cannot minimize someone's loss or feelings What is a loss for you may not be a loss for someone else o Tangible - a person, animal, or a thing, like if you lost something o Intangible - relationships, substance abuse, diseases like dementia Normal reactions to loss o Cognitive - disorganized thought patterns, inquisitive thoughts, trying to understand the reasoning, obsessive thoughts, memories and flashbacks, dreams or re-occurring dreams, sense of the presence of the deceased person, search for the meaning of life and death, thinking that is was your fault, idealization of the deceased, confusion, rationalization, intellectualization o Emotional - anger, denial, loneliness, depression, sadness, lethargy, numb, relief, guilt, survivors guilt, regret, hopeless, ambivalence, abandonment, loss of ability to have pleasure, shock, loss of control o Behavioral - do things to avoid places or people that remind you of your loss, isolation, lack of hygiene, alcohol and drug abuse, personality change, self harm, re-locating, re-decorating, keeping things in the house the same, risky behaviors, suicidal tendencies, aggressiveness, impaired work performance, absenteeism, carry around the deceased person's possessions o Physical - weight gain or loss, appetite change, change in sleeping patterns, vomiting, diarrhea, menstruation, libido changes, loss of hair, tremors, somatic responses (back ache, headache, etc.), vulnerable to illness, sensitivity to noise Abnormal reactions to loss Complicated grief: intense, painful reactions to a loss - much more severe than grief reactions o Some reasons why complicated grief happens: unexpected death, violence, homicide, suicide, multiple losses, unresolved grief, the traumatic experience of loss, prior loss, mental illness, substance abuse and use, small support system o Chronic - ongoing, prolonged Normal grief reactions should last about a year o Delayed - suppressed, postponed - conscious/unconscious o Exaggerated - self destructive behaviors, cannot stop thinking about the loss, obsessively o Masked - not aware that behaviors/reactions influence functioning o Disenfranchised - loss that cannot be openly expressed An affair ends, miscarriage, homosexual insecurity, grief is complicated here because you cannot talk about it Kubler Ross o Pioneer of grief studies o Psychiatrist who worked with cancer patients - worked with them and their families Stages of grief o Denial - we do not believe it, ask for a second opinion, it is a buffer for an individual to be able to start to cope with it o Anger - pain turned outward, not dealing with the pain o Bargaining - you decide to do things in hopes to get a second chance, many times people turn to God o Depression - sullen, sad, uninterested in things in life, we realize that the loss is inevitable or that the loss is not coming back, you've been through the other stages o Acceptance - it happened, what can we learn from this, there is no turning back, there is no more denying and you can move on now Parkes '87 o Alarm - crisis mode o Searching - trying to think and understanding what you're feeling, also searing and grasping for anyone to help, searching for the meaning of life, grasping o Mitigation - the bringing together of forces, the difference of opinions of other people, we combine all opinions in hopes to come up with a solution to the problem, similar to bargaining, how should I move on from here? o Anger/guilt - angry at the fact that the loss happened, and now guilty about what you did or did not to o Gaining a new identity - accepting the loss, not letting it take control of you, saying "okay, I am dying" or "okay, he died" helps you to talk to others about it, "I am a dying person, who wants to live my life until I die.", being able to learn how to live with the loss Bowlby '80 o Numbing - you don't know how to feel, sometimes people are unable to talk or react o Searching/longing - same as Parkes' second stage searing o Disorganization - nothing is what it was before, could literally be disorganized, cognitive thought process, makes you feel off balance o Re-organization - our bodies and our minds, pick us back up, along with support systems, in a way his own version of acceptance Worden's Tasks o Accept loss - usually the last stage, thinks that you have to accept the loss first, in order to deal with it o Experience grief - have to accept the grief and hit it head on, acknowledging your feelings, dealing with your feelings o Adjust to new environment - adjusting to the new environment without that person or thing that you loss, takes time o Withdrawal emotional investment - you know that you're going to be okay with the loss, the pit in your stomach starts to go away, need to stop putting so much stock in the loss, and start to move on, you can re-fill the piece of your heart that was taken away from the loss Rando '93 o Recognize, react, and experience the separation - kind of like accepting the loss and experiencing the grief, realizing that you have a loss o Reminisce - thinking about the good memories, sayings, your feelings toward the lost person, helps to keep the person alive and still with us in our minds, there is nothing wrong with that, "death ends a life, not a relationship", great stage o Relinquish old attachments - decide to now be attached to the loss, does not mean you are forgetting the lost, you're just more withdrawing your emotional investment o Readjust/adapt new roles while maintain memories - adjusting and getting that person to realize they can still have those memories and honoring and respecting that that was a part of your life, a big part or a long time in your life, and making an effort to take on new or other roles, like "I am no longer a spouse, I am a single person", and working to accept that new role o Reinvest - enjoying their time left (if someone is dying), after some introspection when you're ready to let people back in and decide to want to be around people again… happens a lot when someone is dying
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