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FAD 2230 Week 4 Notes

by: Lauren Carstens

FAD 2230 Week 4 Notes FAD2230

Marketplace > Florida State University > FAD2230 > FAD 2230 Week 4 Notes
Lauren Carstens
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About this Document

This week we continued talking about relationships and began on sexuality in chapter 8.
Family Relationships: A lifespan development approach
Dr. Mallory Greer
Class Notes
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This 6 page Class Notes was uploaded by Lauren Carstens on Friday October 7, 2016. The Class Notes belongs to FAD2230 at Florida State University taught by Dr. Mallory Greer in Fall 2016. Since its upload, it has received 3 views.


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Date Created: 10/07/16
Chapter 8: Love and Loving Relationships  Love is o An enduring bond between two or more people o Based on mutual affection o Includes a feeling of obligation toward another  Obligation is not the right word  Love Languages (Gary Chapman) o A= Words of Affirmation o B= Acts of Service  Attending to your needs o C= Receiving Gifts o D= Quality Time o E= Physical Touch o What does this mean for our relationship?  We need to be attentive to how our partner receives/ feels love  Attachment Theory st o Learn about love early in life (maybe it’s the very 1 thing)  Brand new babies require love all the time because they can’t do anything themselves o Ainsworth’s Strange Situation  Means to measure “attachment style” in kids o Attachment: having someone as a ‘secure base’  Secure Attachment: Confident the secure base will always be there for me  When the mother returns to the room, the child calms down and is able to focus on playing again o Not immediate, but the child uses the parent as a way to calm down and then does calm down  70% of children  Insecurely attached: lacking confidence that the secure base will always be there  When the mother returns to the room, the child does not calm down and remains resistant and/or angry/upset  Anxious-Ambivalent: 15% o When the mom came back, the child could not calm down  Anxious-Avoidant: 15% o Looked down and kept themselves separate from mom when she came back  Disorganized/ fearful: Very few o Behaviors that don’t make a lot of sense o Sometimes might not need to be comforted  Why this is such a small number o Childhood Attachment Style  Influence adult romantic relationships  Other Perspectives on love o Biological  Sociobiological: Instinct to pass on genes  Biochemical perspective  Humans are attracted to certain people o The brain releases natural chemicals (dopamine and norepinephrine)  Then, the brain releases natural chemicals  Gives a rush as we experience attraction  Dopamine and Oxytocin  Dopamine: Natural stimulant produced in brains; acts upon the pleasure center o When people are newly in love, they tend to have higher levels of dopamine (craving and motivation) Oxytocin: The “love” or “cuddle” hormone o Related to feelings of deep friendship, trust, sexuality, love, bonding and commitment o Facilitates nurturing behaviors o Naturally produced  After sex  After giving birth o Macro-level  Cultures have different “rules” about love  Do Americans generally marry their cousins?  Does your family prepare (or receive) a dowry for (or from) your future in-laws?  We buy a big ring, the male asks permission, who pays for the wedding, etc o Micro-level  Theory of love (Sternberg)  Triangle o Passion: Physical attraction, romance sexual arousal  FWB, one-night stand  Quickest to develop and quickest to fade o Intimacy: Closeness and bonding (self- disclosure, respect, trust, warmth)  Friendship  Develops more slowly  Determining if it’s worth it to open up o Commitment: Determination to develop the relationship; expecting to ‘stick through it’ (expecting the “good” and the “bad”)  Develops gradually/ slowest  Understanding the loving relationships between two people  These three components develop at different times  These three equal consummate love  Relationships change over time o Liking: Intimacy o Companionate Love: Commitment and Intimacy o Infatuated Love: Passion o Empty Love: Commitment o Romantic Love: Passion and Intimacy o Fatuous Love: Commitment and Passion  Styles of love (Lee)  Table in the book  Eros: Passionate, strong physical attraction  Storge: Companionate, mutual love, respect  Pragma: Practical, sensible  Ludus: Playful, carefree, casual  Agape: Altruistic, kind, patient  Mania: Obsessive, possessive, intense  Theory of love development (Reiss)  Wheel: continuous, not linear and ending o It doesn’t stop, you have to continue revealing new things  1. Rapport: sharing interests and activities  2. Self-revelation: Sharing intimate info  3. Mutual dependency: depend on partner  4. Personality need fulfillment- lives intertwined****  Men are both more likely to be looking for a relationship and report falling in love sooner o Feminization of love o Not the first to say I’m in love, but the first to think they can see the relationship moving forward  Do men and women care differently? o Not really, but o Men tend to be more ludic (carefree) o Women tend toward storge (comfortable) and pragma (rational)  Both value psychic and sexual intimacy  Theory of Uncoupling o Unrequited love (One person is showing love and the other does not want it)  There is a turning point  Initiator: knows it is over and has time to process the breakup  Uncoupling: Complete when being partners is no longer a major source of identity  Keeping Love (John Gottman) o 5 to 1 ratio  For every 5 positive/healthy interactions there will be one negative interaction  Unhealthy couples are less balanced o Turn towards one another  When a fight happens, turn towards each other to talk about what’s happening  Early detection of trouble/ negatives o Enhance your love map  That other person is who you want to know more about (little and big things)  Continuous process of ‘do I know my partner?’ o Soft start up  Can you go into the conversation calm and move up? o Let your partner influence you  Think of things your partner enjoys doing o Solve your solvable problems  Don’t let things build up  Same Sex Relationships o Similar trends  People have a need to be close  Relationships can be fulfilling o Challenges: handling stress from outside the relationship  Discrimination  Others less accepting of PDA  Friends with benefits o 7 kinds  Sex and sexuality are pervasive in our culture o Universal human experience  Influences  1. How relationships are formed  2. Their trajectory o How do we talk about sex in the US?  Myths  Stereotypes  Sexual scripts  Sex and Sexual Identity o Sex refers to the biological characteristics of a person’s body  Male, female, intersex o Gender Expression  Feminine, masculine, neutral or a combination o Gender Identity  Cis-gender: the gender they were assigned to at birth  Transgender: gender other than what they were assigned to at birth o Sex  How individuals view and interpret themselves o Sexual Attraction  Who are you attracted to o Sexual Practice  The ways in which individuals sexuality expresses themselves  Fetishes, number of partners, frequency of sex o Romantic Attraction  Which gender individuals are romantically attracted to  Aromantic: don’t have romantic feelings towards other people o Sexual Attraction  Which gender individuals are sexually attracted to  Asexual: don’t have sexual attraction to other people o If someone “comes out” to you:  Don’t:  Say you already knew  Tell everyone  Act like they are a different person  Ask probing questions  Make assumptions  Do:  Know this is a sign of trust  Check in on the level of confidentiality  Show interest  Ask them how you can be supportive  Studying sex o Freud (1856-1939)  People are born with biological sex drives and these have to be channeled constantly o Alfred Kinsey (1894-1956)  Asked to teach a course on sexuality and there was no information  Did a bunch of surveys  N= 11,000 surveys  Sexual identity and behavior are not the same construct o William Masters and Virginia Johnson (1960s)  N=700 observational research  Couples would come live in an apartment for a month willingly  This sample is weird  Learned about the Sexual Response Cycles  Excitement Phase  Plateau Phase o Everything intensifies from excitement o Sustained feeling about to orgasm  Orgasm Phase o Climax o Shortest phase (few seconds) o Release of sexual tension  Resolution o Arousal goes up over time until resolution o Body returns to normal function  Do you think this cycle looks the same for men and women? o Yes, but the timing is different o Guys require a resolution before another climax o Terminology  Coitus/intercourse  Oral Sex: mouth to sexual organ  Cunnilingus: given to women  Fellatio: given to men o Cohabiters report higher frequency and more physical pleasure, but married persons report HIGHER levels of satisfaction with their sexual relationship  Sexual Satisfaction is highly correlated with relationship satisfaction  Sexual satisfaction is inextricably related to relationship satisfaction  Women’s sexual satisfaction increases after increased relationship satisfaction o Men are the opposite


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