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COMM 3200 Week 7 Notes

by: Liana Sandell

COMM 3200 Week 7 Notes COMM 3200

Liana Sandell

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About this Document

Notes cover what will be on exam two
Interpersonal Communication
Dr. Amanda Denes
Class Notes
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This 7 page Class Notes was uploaded by Liana Sandell on Friday October 14, 2016. The Class Notes belongs to COMM 3200 at University of Connecticut taught by Dr. Amanda Denes in Fall 2016. Since its upload, it has received 7 views. For similar materials see Interpersonal Communication in Communications at University of Connecticut.


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Date Created: 10/14/16
Class Notes October 10, 2016 Clip in class: How to loose a guy in 10 days Expectancy Violations 1. behaviors that deviate from expectations are likely to increase a persons motivation to reduce uncertainty 2. predictive vs. prescriptive expectations 1. predictive: if your friend is always late 2. prescriptive: in general we have a sense of how the world works 3. positive vs. negative violations 1. when someone violates our expectations or does something that we would not expect (positive would be if teacher cancels the class, negative may be that we have a redo of the exam) 4. partner rewardingness 1. how rewarding is the person 2. research has shown if individual is non rewarding partner, it is best if they just stick to the norms (we tend not to like it if they deviate from the norm) 3. for people with high reward value, when they do something that deviates from the norm we like it (you like someone, don't think they like you and then they ask you out) Relational initiation and development 1. self-disclosure 2. relational dialectics 1. about the struggles that we face in relationships today Baxters Theory of Dialectics 1. dialectical tensions: relationships are never completely stable, but are constantly changing 1. tensions are natural and always present 2. people want two things that are both important (but opposite) 3. internal manifestation vs. external manifestation (each of the three tensions can be felt internally and externally) 1. internal: experience between relational partners 2. external: tensions between the relational partners and society 4. three major dialectical tensions: we can feel them in ourselves or feel them in our relationships 1. integration—separation 1. autonomy/connection (internal): desire to be close to relational partner and desire to be independent 2. inclusion/seclusion (external): amount of time spent with social network and amount of time spent doing things with one another 2. stability—change 1. predictability/novelty (internal): want to feel secure and know partner will be there for you and want the newness, excitement and spontaneity 2. conventionality/uniqueness (external): way to conform to societal standard and be accepted by society with conventional ways and want to be special and unique but do so by acting in unconventional ways (don’t believe in marriage) 3. expression—privacy 1. openness/closedness (internal): how much do partners tell one another. need to tell partner everything and need to keep somethings private and away from judgement 2. revelation/concealment (external): how much do partners tell others about their relationships Dealing with dialectical tensions (in order with the better techniques) 1. strategies for avoiding the tension (bad idea don't do this) 1. deny the tension exists (least effective strategy) 2. disorientation: become overwhelmed by the tension 2. strategies for addressing the tension 1. selection: chose most important side of the tension (not the best strategies because in some ways it is just like denial because there will be things that you do not want to come up) 2. separation: favor one side at different times 1. cyclic alternation: more from one side of tension to other in cyclical fashion 1. this is when you cycle through tensions in a circle pattern 2. ex. on weekends we do the same things but once every month you do something that breaks that general rule (go to a concert or do something special) 2. topical segmentation: use one extreme in different circumstances 3. works well with openness and closeness (lets be open about everything but…) 3. neutralization: avoid fully engaging either side 1. moderation: find a middle ground 2. disqualification: being ambiguous 1. you avoid addressing attention by being vague or changing the subject 4. change perspective with one of the following strategies: 1. reframing: view tension as struggle, not difference 2. reaffirmation: recognize tension without letting it be a threat Self Disclosure (chapter 6) 1. self disclosure occurs when people reveal something about themselves 2. some is superficial while other pieces of information are personal 3. increases in self disclosure occur when relationships develop Class Notes October 12, 2016 Social penetration theory 1. communication, particularly self-disclosure, is the only way to move toward intimacy in relationships 2. disclosures are characterized by 1. depth: intimacy level of the topic 2. breadth: range of topics discussed 3. frequency: the amount of self disclosure 4. valence: positive or negative charge 5. duration: length of particular disclosure 3. three levels 1. superficial 2. social 3. intimate Stages of social penetration 1. orientation 1. low levels of depth and breadth 1. not sharing heavy personal information 2. positive valence 3. superficial 4. 1st few meetings 2. exploratory affective exchange (most relationships stay at this stage) 1. acquaintances and casual dates 2. increasing breadth (range of topics) and frequency 3. still low in depth 4. valence is positive 5. explore likes and dislikes 3. affective exchange 1. good friends, family, partners 2. sense of closeness and connectedness 3. valence and duration change— negative valence is utilized 4. honeymoon has ended (conflict increases) 5. depth and breadth increases (high) 4. stable exchange (there are 2-4 people like this in your life) 1. every topic open 2. complete disclosure 3. innermost thoughts and feelings Self disclosure and liking 1. disclose-liking and liking-disclosure hypothesis 1. self-disclosure typically increases gradually as people get to know, like and trust one another 2. liking leads to self-disclosure (you tell the people you like, that you like them) 3. self-disclosure can lead to liking 4. is this always true? 1. as long as it follows the norms of self-disclosure 2. When does it leads to disliking? 1. TMI (too much information) 1. when people think that you disclose personal information to everyone 2. we like disclosure that is unique to us 2. Chilling effect: when disclosure is responded to negatively 1. if you receive a negative reaction from disclosing, you probably won’t disclose to them again 3. reciprocity 1. we tend to disclose at the same level of intensity 2. dyadic effect says that the reciprocity of self-disclosure is the vehicle to which people build relationships Fears associated with self-disclosure 1. fear of exposure 1. if we share a lot of informaiton, we may start showing our negative qualities 2. fear of rejection 1. if we share some things, the person may not like you anymore 3. fear of angry attacks 1. if we disclose, the other person may become mad or retaliate against us 2. sometimes we have to disclose really hard thins that the other person may not want to hear 4. fear of loss of control 1. if we disclose certain information, someone else now has that information and you no longer have control of it 5. fear of losing individuality 1. if we disclose information, it may become too much of the “we” and less of the “me” Communication closeness (chapter 7) 1. Types of closeness 1. physical 1. spatial proximity and physical contact 2. emotional 1. sense of shared experiences, trust, enjoyment, concern and caring 3. relational 1. interdependance in resources, thoughts, behaviors, emotions and needs 2. three types of closeness can overlap 3. sometimes we communicate with all three, other times its only one or two 4. you can see closeness communicated in three types of communication 1. affectionate communication 2. immediacy behavior 3. social support 5. affectionate communication 1. affection is a need and an emotion 2. want to feel accepted and cared for 3. rooted in feelings of fondness, caring and positive regard for someone developed over time Discussion Notes October 14, 2016 Comfort and social support Kinds of comfort and social support 1. invisible support 1. benefits of unnoticed support: feel independent, but know support is there 2. practical support 1. concrete advice 3. emotional support 1. making person feel better without necessarily trying to problem solve Comfort and social support 1. support is especially effective when it is perceived as responsive 1. shows understanding, caring and validation of feelings 2. person-centered messages 1. acknowledge elaborate on, and validate feelings and concerns of the stressed person 2. high PCM: help person gain new perspective 3. moderate PCM: acknowledge feelings but do not help situation 4. lower PCM: deny legitimacy of feelings or blame person for situation 3. feel best when high PCM message and high nonverbal immediacy 4. things to consider 1. what are the persons standards for support? 1. ex. how much support do they want? 2. what type of message does the person need in that context? 1. will certain messages promote or prevent further rumination? 5. sex differences in friendships 1. females are more likely to have expressive friendships 1. emotionally charged, focus on verbal communication, verbal affection and relationship talk 2. males tend to have agentic friendships 1. focus on companionship and shared activities 3. these finding change in cross-sex friendships 1. closes the gap between sex differences in friendships


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