CJ 105: Week 5 - Interpersonal Communication
CJ 105: Week 5 - Interpersonal Communication CJ 105
Popular in Communication in Contemporary Society
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This 7 page Class Notes was uploaded by Natalie Brock on Tuesday October 18, 2016. The Class Notes belongs to CJ 105 at University of Wisconsin - Eau Claire taught by Dr. Bob Brown in Fall 2016. Since its upload, it has received 37 views. For similar materials see Communication in Contemporary Society in Communication and Journalism at University of Wisconsin - Eau Claire.
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Date Created: 10/18/16
Week 5/ Interpersonal Communication Interpersonal Communication – originally coined to refer to two-person, face-to-face interaction (however,all communication is interpersonal because all communication occurs between people) Characteristics of Interpersonal Relationships Dyadic Communication – face-to-face verbal between two people o Directness Can’t let others speak for us o Immediacy Instant feedback o Spontaneity Rarely rehearsed o Personal (how personal?) Cultural-level rules Apply to all members Sociological-level rules Apply to members of cultural sub-groups Psychological-level rules Apply only within a close relationship Developmental Approach – something special must occur to turn ordinary, impersonal, dyadic interaction into interpersonal communication; people who take a developmental approach believe that dyadic and interpersonal communication are not the same thing Communicating about relationships o All verbal statements contain two kinds of messages: Content Messages – communicate information about subject being discussed Relational Messages – communicate information about how people feel about each other (usually done nonverbally: paralanguage, facial expression, touch, etc) Affection, respect, suspicion, anger, etc Often unnoticed when they match expectations Can create conflict even when content of message is not in dispute o Message delivered in sarcastic, condescending, threatening, abusive tone Metacommunication – communication about communication o Messages (usually relational) that refer to other messages: “Wow, you sound excited about that” “I appreciate your candor (honesty)” “That wasn’t funny, that was offensive” o Can help resolve conflict in a constructive manner by shifting discussion from content of message to underlying relationship issue “Why are you getting so upset about toothpaste?” “What’s the big deal about who has the remote?” o Shows others the behaviors you value o Increases oddsthose behaviors will be repeated “I appreciate that” “I love it when you say that” “Thank you” Managing Interpersonal Communication Expressive-protective dialectic – finding a balance between the need to share personal information and the need to maintain privacy Autonomy-togetherness dialectic – friends and couples decide how interdependent they want to be Novelty-predictability dialectic – an example of a tension manifested by partners simultaneously desiring predictability and spontaneity in their relationships Face – the “conception of self that each person displays in particular interactions with others”; the person we try to be when we are with other people Disconfirmations – rejecting messages that leave recipients with a diminished self- respect o Impervious response – “you are not worthnoticing” o Interruptingresponse – “you are not worthlistening to” o Irrelevantresponse – conversations changing o Tangential response – an individual brieflyacknowledges the topic but then goes on to discuss his or her own interests o Impersonal responses – stilted, formal, distant language; “I feel uncomfortable being close to you” o Incoherent response – when someone seems embarrassed and tongue-tied; “I feel uncomfortable with you” o Incongruous responses – messages wherein the verbal and nonverbal cues don’t match One-up role – dominant role One-down role – submissive role Complementary pattern – one partner takes the one-up position and the other takes the one-down Symmetrical pattern – competitive symmetry (both people in a relationship fight to be the dominant one) and submissive symmetry (both people in a relationship struggle to relinquish control) Paradoxes– contradictory messages Double bind – a particularly strong and enduring paradoxical communication wherein the receiver is simultaneously given two opposing messages but is prohibited from resolving them Spiral – one partner’s behavior intensifies that of the other o Progressivespiral – the partner’s behaviors lead to increasing levels of involvement and satisfaction o Regressive spiral– when misunderstanding leads to more misunderstanding, eventually damaging a relationship Interpersonal self-fulfilling prophecy - a prediction that directly or indirectly causes itself to become true, by the very terms of the prophecy itself, due to positive feedback between belief and behavior Relational Development: Stages in Intimate Dyads Relational development stages – the stages in which a relationship goes through o Initiatingstage – partners workto create a favorable initial impression; observe cues about personality, attitudes, and willingness to engage infurther interactions; and look for ways to open communication channels o Experimenting stage – partners searchfor common ground on which to begin to build their relationship; communication at this stage consists primarilyof small talk o Intensifyingstage – individuals make initial moves towardgreater involvement; self-disclosure increases, and the use of nicknames and terms of endearment becomes more common; pronouns such as “we” and “us” begin to be used o Integratingstage – the individuals become a couple both in their own and others’ eyes; attitudes and interests are shared, and social circlesmerge o Bonding stage – consists of public ritual to legitimize the relationship; marriage or commitment Intimacy trophies – common property Secret tests – used to measure the other’s commitment o Indirectsuggestion – flirting and joking about the seriousness of the relationship; let partners observe each other’s response o Separation tests– let individuals see how their partners feel about being apart o Endurance tests– involve making demands on the time or energy of one’s partner; they show individuals just how far a partner is willingto go to maintain the relationship o Triangle tests– to see whether or not their partners are prone to jealousy Relational breadth – beliefs and feelings about various topics Relational depth – surface beliefs and feelings Relational dissolution stages – stages if relationships fall apart o Differentiatingstage– a couple begins to notice and comment on previouslyoverlooked disparities o Circumscribing stage – members carefully restrict their communication; certaintopics are placed off limits because they are too painful o Stagnating stage – this stage is characterized by silence and inactivity; communication is infrequent, and when it occurs, it is stylized, rigid, and awkward o Avoiding stage – partners separate either physically or emotionally o Terminating stage – when individuals come to terms with the fact that the relationship is over Filtering theory – we use a series of filters to judge how close to others we want to become o Sociologicalor incidentalcues – proximity, frequency of interaction o Preinteractioncues – physical beauty, artifacts, nonverbal behavior o Interactioncues – social rewards,conversational management o Cognitive cues – attitude similarity, need complementarity, shared values Increasing Relational Skills Relationships are constantly changing o Stress is inevitable; deterioration is not inevitable o Relationship repair is possible when people confront their concerns and negotiate solutions o Growth can result o Communication is key Dialectical Perspective – o Alternative to stage-related model to explain interaction in relationships o Based on principle that every idea generates its opposite Thesis vs. antithesis o Constant challenge to resolve conflict created by these opposites Search for synthesis o People seek important but incompatible goals in every relationship, whether relationship is brand new or years old o Struggle to achieve these goals creates dialectical tensions (conflicts that arise when two opposing wants/needs exist simultaneously) 3 Powerful Dialectical Tensions o Connection vs. Autonomy (freedom/independence) Like “differentiating” stage in Knapp’s model Levels of connection/ autonomy change over time “hold me tight” “put me down” “leave me alone” o Predictability vs. Novelty o Openness vs. Privacy Relational Maintenance Strategies – the behaviors people use to keep their relationships at a desired level Positive Relational Maintenance Behaviors o Positivity o Openness o Assurance o Networks o Task sharing o Conflict management o Advice sharing/offering Negative Relational Maintenance Behaviors o Jealousy induction o Avoidance o Spying o Infidelity o Destructive conflict o Allowing control Self-Disclosure – occurs when we reveal information to others that they are unlikely to discover on their own; when we voluntarily open up to them o Self-disclosure is not appropriate in all relationships o Consider the effect your disclosures will have on others o Choose the right time and place for your disclosures o Disclosures should also be related to what is happening in the “here and now” o Disclosure should be gradual o Disclosures should be reciprocal Qualities of self-disclosure: must be deliberate, must be significant, must involve information not known by the other person Reasons for self-disclosure: to strengthen relationships, impression formation 2 dimensions that define the depth of self-disclosure: significance and privacy You can create a different Social Penetration Model for every relationship in your life Self-disclosure on both sides is necessary for development in an interpersonal relationship A relationship is limited by the person who is self-disclosed the least Characteristics of effective self-disclosure: o Influenced by culture o Usually occurs in dyads o Usually occurs incrementally o Usually symmetrical/balanced o Relatively scarce o Safer in positive relationships Guidelines for effective self-disclosure: o Is the other person important to you? o Is the disclosure reciprocated? o Are the risks reasonable? o Will the effect be constructive? Disclosure response categories – give advice, analyze your friend’s problem, offer reassurance and support, ask questions, or help your friend clarify his thinking by paraphrasing his statement o Advising and evaluatingresponse – if your response is to tell your friend what to do o Analyzing and interpretingresponse – if your response is to analyze the causes of his dilemma o Reassuring and supporting response – offering sympathy o Questioning and probing response – immediate reaction is to gather more information o Paraphrasing and understandingresponse – if your response is paraphrasing your friend’s words/situation Conflict – occurs whenever two people have incompatible goals Conflict Styles o Withdrawing – walk away or change subject o Forcing – put aside the other’s needs and go all out to win o Accommodating – give in immediately o Compromising – each party gives up part of what he or she wants o Problem solving – negotiating until you come up with a new, creative solution that satisfies both parties Position – a concrete solution to a problem Interest – the overall goal we want to achieve Gunnysacking – we store up all of our grievances and carry them around until the burden gets too heavy and we explode in anger Feedback– information that helps individuals to control and adjust their behavior o Own your own message o Avoid apologizingfor your feelings o Make your message specificand behavioral o Verbal and nonverbal behaviors should support one another o Avoid evaluatingand interpretingyour partner unless he or she specificallyasks you todo so New Media, New Relationships Hyper personal Theory – a model of interpersonal communication that suggests computer-mediated communication (CMC) can become hyper personal because it "exceeds [face-to-face] interaction", thus affording message senders a host of communicative advantages over traditional face-to-face (FtF) interaction Becoming a More Responsible Communicator Public scrutiny test – consists of three questions: o Am I personally proud of this action? o Am I comfortable with this decision? o Would I feel uncomfortable or embarrassed if this decision were known to my colleagues, friends, spouse or children? Four-way test – comprises the following fourquestions: o Is it the truth? o It is fair to all concerened? o Will it build goodwill and better friendships? o Will it be beneficial to all concerned?