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CDFS-3320 Week 4 Ch. 5

by: Enrique Pantoja

CDFS-3320 Week 4 Ch. 5 CDFS-3320

Enrique Pantoja
GPA 3.0

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About this Document

Lamanna, M.A. & Reidmann, A. (2012). Marriages and families: Making choices in a diverse society (11th ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth. Professor Samantha Weir.
Family Relations
Samantha Weir
Class Notes
child development, CDFS, 3320, week 4, Ch. 5, Professor Weir
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This 5 page Class Notes was uploaded by Enrique Pantoja on Monday February 29, 2016. The Class Notes belongs to CDFS-3320 at Middle Tennessee State University taught by Samantha Weir in Winter 2016. Since its upload, it has received 38 views. For similar materials see Family Relations in Child and Family Studies at Middle Tennessee State University.

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Date Created: 02/29/16
Day 4 Chapter 5 Love and Choosing a Life Partner Outline: Love and Commitment, Mate Selection: The Process of Selecting a Committed Partner, The Marriage Market, Assortative Mating: A Filtering Out Process, Heterogamy in Relationships, Meandering Toward Marriages I. Love and Commitment: A. Love is viewed as the primary reason for getting and staying married B. Loving involves the acceptance of partners for themselves C. Loving requires empathy and commitment D. Commitment is characterized by a willingness to work through problems and conflicts as opposed to calling it quits when problems arise; it involves consciously investing in the relationship E. Trust, Selflessness, Caring, Happiness, Passion, Compassion, Faithful, Unconditional, Loyal, Accepting II. Defining Love A. Committed Lovers have fun together; they also share tedious times B. They express themselves Freely. They do not see problems as indication that their relationship is over. C. They work to maintain the relationship. D. Commitment is characterized by a willingness to work through problems III. Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love: A. Intimacy – close, connected feelings B. Passion – drives that lead to romance, physical attraction and sexual communication. Passion is the quickest to arrive and fade. C. Commitment – the decision to love someone and maintain that love D. Elements are present and often changing during the relationship. IV. Consummate Love – Love composed of all three components. V. Attachment Theory and Loving Relationships A. A secure attachment style is associated with better prospects for a committed relationship. B. An insecure/anxious attachment style entails “fear of abandonment” with possible consequences such as jealousy or trying to control one’s partner C. An avoidant attachment style leads one to pass up or shun closeness or intimacy VI. Three Things Love Isn’t A. Martyrs - may be reluctant to suggest what they want. They allow others to be constantly late and never protest. B. Manipulators - may ask others to do something that they could simply do themselves. Assume that others will happily do whatever they choose. Be consistently late. Want others to help them develop their talents but seldom think of reciprocating. C. Limerance - is characterized by little, if any concern for the well-being of the limerent object. Limerance can turn into genuine love, but more often then not it does not. People in limerence fantasize about being with a limerent object. VII. Mate Selection: and Marital Stability A. Positive attitudes about the relationship, coupled with realistically positive assessments of a spouses’ personality traits are important to marital stability. VIII. Minimizing Mate Selection Risk A. Selecting a partner wisely involves balancing any insistence on perfection against the need to be mindful of one’s real needs and desires. Working things out requires both parties. Common Love Myths: 1. The right person will meet all my needs. 2. I can change my partner 3. Love will conquer all 4. Love is a feeling 5. We’ll live happily ever after IX. Arranged Marriages A. Not uncommon in less westernized parts of Europe, Asia and Africa B. Couples in arranged marriages are expected to develop a loving relationship after the marriage. C. A study that compared marital satisfaction among arranged marriages found X. Free-Choice Culture A. The United States is an example of Free-Choice Culture B. People choose their own mates, education, ect XI. Social Exchange A. Individuals pick the relationship that is most rewarding or least costly. In romantic relationships individuals have resources, beauty, personality, status, skills, maturity, ect XII. The Traditional Exchange A. Women trade their ability to bear children and perform domestic duties, along with sexual accessibility and attractiveness, for a man’s protection and wealth. XIII. Bargaining in a Changing Society A. Research that looked at mate preference in the US over the past sixty years showed that men and women have increased the importance that they put on a potential financial status XIV. Assortative Mating – A Filtering Process A. Individuals gradually filter those whom they think would not make the best spouse. Use sexual selection to find a partner with the same geno/phenotypes XV. Homogamy: Narrowing the Pool of Eligibles A. People tend to marry people of similar race, age, education, religious background and social class. B. Endogamy – marrying within one’s social group C. Exogamy – marrying outside one’s social group D. Heterogamy – marrying someone dissimilar in race, age, education, religion or social glass XVI. Reasons for Homogamy XVII. Heterogamy: Interfaith Marriages in the US XVIII. Interracial/Interethnic Marriages in the US. A. Interracial Marriages include unions between partners outside their own race. B. In June 1967 the US Supreme Court declared that interracial marriages are legally valid in all states C. Interethnic marriages are unions between people of different ethnic background (Hispanic and Asian) XIX. Measures of Success A. Stability – whether or how long the union lasts B. The Happiness of the Partners C. Some unhappy spouses remain married and some separate. Social scientists find that marriages that are homogamous in age, education, religion, and race are the most stable Developing the Relationship and Moving Toward Commitment Q: What first brings people together? A: Similar Interests, personality, whether or not they can hold a conversation, attractiveness, social interests, chemistry, sense of humor Q: What keeps them together? A: Personality, mindset, communication, honesty, consistency, commitment XX. Meandering Toward Marriage and First Meetings A. Young people today “meander” toward marriage feeling that they’ll be ready to marry when they reach their late twenties or so. Young adults express the need to explore their options and keep them open. B. Physical attractiveness increased as a value over the past century and is especially important upon the first meeting XXI. Four Stages of Love A. Rapport – rests on mutual trust and respect B. Self-revelation – sharing intimate information C. Mutual dependency – developing interdependence D. Needs fulfillment – emotional exchange and support Issues for Thought: Date or Acquaintance Rape What can you do to help prevent date rape? A: Self-awareness, don’t get in vehicles with people you don’t know, don’t accept open drinks, education, parental discussion, buddy system XXII. Dating Violence – A Serious Sign of trouble A. Dating violence begins with verbal or psychological abuse and tends to occur over jealousy, with a refusal of sexual, after illegal drug use, or excessive drinking, or disagreement about drinking behavior B. A study of 28 female undergraduates found that some of the women felt “stuck” with their partner Indicators of Dating Violence 1. Handles ordinary disagreements with inappropriate anger or rage 2. Struggles to regain self-control when a minor issue triggers anger XXIII. Breaking Up A. According to the exchange perspective, couples choose to stay committed or to break up by weighing the rewards of their relationship against its costs. When costs outweigh rewards, it’s easier to walk away Nurturing Loving and Committed Relationships Find out your Love Language! 1. Words of affirmation 2. Quality Time 3. Receiving Gifts 4. Acts of Service 5. Physical Touch Love Language Quiz Review One of the things love isn’t is, ______ which involves maintaining relationships by consistently minimizing one’s own needs while trying to satisfy hose of a partner. (A). Martyring Which of the following is NOT one of the three components of psychologist Robert Sternberg’s theory of love? (A). Sexuality Adults with a(n) attachment style are inclined to trust that their relationships will provide an ongoing emotional support (D). Secure In much of the world, particularly, parts of Asia and Africa, parents have traditionally ____ their children’s marriages (A). Arranged


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