soc 128 on love
soc 128 on love SOC 128
Popular in Sociology of Emotions
verified elite notetaker
Popular in Sociology
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This 3 page Class Notes was uploaded by Freddie816 on Tuesday March 1, 2016. The Class Notes belongs to SOC 128 at University of California - Los Angeles taught by anderson in Fall 2016. Since its upload, it has received 40 views. For similar materials see Sociology of Emotions in Sociology at University of California - Los Angeles.
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Date Created: 03/01/16
● what is love? ○ According to Solomon, love is not an innate emotional experience that just hits us unexpectedly, it is not a transient experience, it is not a feeling and it is not a passion. Rather love is an emotional process that takes time but also reaches into the future and build its own foundation. ○ In order to understand love, we must understand the theory of self. The self is a social construct mutually defined with and through other people. And if this is so, love is not a mysterious “union” of two otherwise separate and isolated selves but rather a special instance of the mutually defined creation of the selves. ■ In other words, love is the creation of a shared self between two individuals. Thus love is “the experience of reconceiving of oneself with and through another. ○ Back to last week’s lecture, love is: an act, a process, a matter of ideas, reconceiving of one’s self with and through another, love is reciprocal, a product of our culture ○ features ■ sexual in origin and motivation ■ spontaneous and voluntary (we choose it/is a matter of will) ■ an emotion appropriate only bw equals ○ what love is not ■ a feeling ■ a relationship ■ love story/fantasy ■ not everything ■ only for young ● what is culture ○ the sum of attitudes, customs and beliefs that distinguishes one group of people from another ● In this lecture, we continuously argue that our culture and our interactions within that culture, continuously shape and redefine our idea of love; it is our culture that then becomes the root of the problem for why we “live in a society dead on love” ○ individualisttherefore isolated and lonely ■ today’s society, emphasizes the importance of the individual/that we must care and look out for ourselves than for anyone else, but where does this leave room for love? If the emphasis on the self is valued and relationships with others are simultaneously brushed off, where will this lead us to? ● We cannot just look for happiness on our own, isolation and loneliness, are the root for the growth of depression. ● As humans, we need others in order to find true happiness ○ when less emphasis on the self was valued years ago, divorce rates were lower ○ narcissistic ■ again, our society teaches us to care more about ourselves than that of others ● this sprouts the growth for the inability to feel empathy for others ○ materialistic (115) ■ oriented towards consumption and greed ● Our culture teaches us to care for physical things over everything else ○ this leads to happiness ○ relationships are undervalued ○ allows for alienation of others ■ trained to keep this going ○ lil kimpursuit for money, will make up for everything else that is lacking in our lives ○ patriarchal (78) ■ Live in a society geared towards the domination of men over other men and over women ● taught through cultural emphasis which through this image, we learn to deny half of our self ○ men cannot cry, men are not weak, men must show their dominating power over women by doing everything they can to keep that domination i.eby subordinating women ○ social structure of society gives men and women each a cultural script that they must live up to ■ women are socialized to be weaklie ■ we shut off half of ourself to fit into our cultural values ● no one gets too be real ○ promotes dishonesty and manipulation ■ we live in a culture that emphasizes manipulation through lying such as by changing our identity to live up to the cultural values that we believe others will value too (like us) ● if we are not sharing our true self with someone else, then there is no love ● lying all the time, alienates from self ● living up to cultural values, alienates us ○ we are bombarded with lies by the media ○ violence ■ we live in a society dominated by violence/taught to believe that violence is ok ● all forms of violence are glamorized by the medi ○ makes it fine for an individual to dominate another ○ we get used to this, makes it ok ○ workaholic ■ we work constantly (162) hooks ○ cynical ■ we are hurt so much that love seems nonexistent ■ taught by the media false images of love ● expectations are fantasized/tragic ● what do we believe about love then? ○ it is hugely important to us ■ our culture emphasizes this in movies, music etc. ○ inevitable ■ no matter our circumstances, love will be ours ○ passive and effortless ■ we lack choice and will in love ■ from to love someone is not just a strong feeling, it is a will ○ fantasy of simple and easy ○ led by sexuality ■ lead to believe that love is about sex ■ good sex=good love ○ blind and intuitive ■ we are taught that love is more exciting when we don’t know the other individual (the little mermaid) ● “illusion”passion and love are two different things ○ evidence ■ films ● the notebook ○ love is led by sexuality ■ books ● romances ○ teach that women must be sweet and romantic, pretty and a lil bit stupid ● self help books ○ written by men who don’t consider gender roles or our patriarchal society ■ teach us to work for and honor our gender roles ○ the rules ■ told women to lie ● songs ○ justin bieber ○ the weekend
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