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soc 128 on love

by: Freddie816

soc 128 on love SOC 128

GPA 3.3

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About this Document

lecture on love and popular culture
Sociology of Emotions
Class Notes
25 ?




Popular in Sociology of Emotions

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This 3 page Class Notes was uploaded by Freddie816 on Tuesday March 1, 2016. The Class Notes belongs to SOC 128 at University of California - Los Angeles taught by anderson in Fall 2016. Since its upload, it has received 40 views. For similar materials see Sociology of Emotions in Sociology at University of California - Los Angeles.


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Date Created: 03/01/16
● what is love?  ○ According to Solomon, love is not an innate emotional experience that just hits us  unexpectedly, it is not a transient experience, it is not a feeling and it is not a  passion. Rather  love is an emotional process that takes time but also reaches  into the future and build its own foundation.   ○ In order to understand love, we must understand the theory of self. The self is a  social construct mutually defined with and through other people. And if this is so,  love is not a mysterious “union” of two otherwise separate and isolated selves but  rather a special instance of the mutually defined creation of the selves.  ■  In other words, love is the creation of a shared self between two  individuals. Thus love is “the experience of reconceiving of oneself with  and through another.   ○ Back to last week’s lecture, love is: an act, a process, a matter of ideas,  reconceiving of one’s self with and through another, love is reciprocal, a product  of our culture  ○ features  ■ sexual in origin and motivation  ■ spontaneous and voluntary (we choose it/is a matter of will)  ■ an emotion appropriate only bw equals   ○ what love is not   ■ a feeling  ■ a relationship  ■ love story/fantasy  ■ not everything  ■ only for young   ● what is culture  ○ the sum of attitudes, customs and beliefs that distinguishes one group of people  from another  ● In this lecture, we continuously argue that our culture and our interactions within that  culture, continuously shape and redefine our idea of love; it is our culture that then  becomes the root of the problem for why we “live in a society dead on love”  ○ individualist­therefore isolated and lonely  ■ today’s society, emphasizes the importance of the individual/that we must  care and look out for ourselves than for anyone else, but where does this  leave room for love? If the emphasis on the self is valued and relationships  with others are simultaneously brushed off, where will this lead us to?  ● We cannot just look for happiness on our own, isolation and  loneliness, are the root for the growth of depression.  ● As humans, we need others in order to find true happiness  ○ when less emphasis on the  self was valued years ago,  divorce rates were lower  ○ narcissistic  ■ again, our society teaches us to care more about ourselves than that of  others  ● this sprouts the growth for the inability to feel empathy for others   ○ materialistic (115)   ■ oriented towards consumption and greed   ● Our culture teaches us to care for physical things over everything  else  ○ this leads to happiness  ○ relationships are undervalued  ○ allows for alienation of others   ■ trained to keep this going  ○ lil kim­pursuit for money, will make up for everything else  that is lacking in our lives  ○ patriarchal (7­8)  ■ Live in a society geared towards the domination of men over other men  and over women  ● taught through cultural emphasis which through this image, we  learn to deny half of our self  ○ men cannot cry, men are not weak, men must show their  dominating power over women by doing everything they  can to keep that domination i.e­by subordinating women  ○ social structure of society gives men and women each a  cultural script that they must live up to   ■ women are socialized to be weak­lie  ■ we shut off half of ourself to fit into our cultural  values  ● no one gets too be real  ○ promotes dishonesty and manipulation  ■ we live in a culture that emphasizes manipulation through lying such as by  changing our identity to live up to the cultural values that we believe others  will value too (like us)   ● if we are not sharing our true self with someone else, then there is  no love  ● lying all the time, alienates from self  ● living up to cultural values, alienates us   ○ we are bombarded with lies by the media  ○ violence  ■ we live in a society dominated by violence/taught to believe that violence is  ok   ● all forms of violence are glamorized by the medi  ○ makes it fine for an individual to dominate another  ○ we get used to this, makes it ok  ○ workaholic  ■ we work constantly (162) hooks  ○ cynical  ■ we are hurt so much that love seems non­existent  ■ taught by the media false images of love  ● expectations are fantasized/tragic   ● what do we believe about love then?  ○ it is hugely important to us  ■ our culture emphasizes this in movies, music etc.  ○ inevitable  ■ no matter our circumstances, love will be ours  ○ passive and effortless  ■ we lack choice and will in love  ■ from­ to love someone is not just a strong feeling, it is a will   ○ fantasy of simple and easy   ○ led by sexuality   ■ lead to believe that love is about sex  ■ good sex=good love  ○ blind and intuitive   ■ we are taught that love is more exciting when we don’t know the other  individual (the little mermaid)   ● “illusion”­passion and love are two different things   ○ evidence  ■ films  ● the notebook  ○ love is led by sexuality   ■ books  ● romances  ○ teach that women must be sweet and romantic, pretty and  a lil bit stupid  ● self help books  ○ written by men who don’t consider gender roles or our  patriarchal society   ■ teach us to work for and honor our gender roles   ○ the rules  ■ told women to lie   ● songs  ○ justin bieber  ○ the weekend    


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