FAM RELSHP LIFE DEV
FAM RELSHP LIFE DEV FAD 2230
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Date Created: 09/17/15
Study Guide Exam Chapter 10 Kinds of power 0 Social 0 Personal Examples of personal and social power 0 Personal Power Power exercised over oneself autonomy Important for selfdevelopment 0 Social Power Ability of people to exercise their wills over the wills of others example Intimate Partner Power refers to unmarried couples or to unmarried and married couples Marital Power Married such as husband and wife and Parental Power such as parentchild Parental power 0 Type of social power that operates between parents and children Marital conjugal power 0 Type of Social Power to describe power in couples such as husbands and wives 3 components of marital power 0 Decision making Where to eat for dinner Where to live Where to spend leisure time 0 Division of labor Who does more work around the house Who earns money Allocation of M oney Where does the money go 0 Partners Sense of Empowerment Feeling like you are free to talk about the relationship and who does what in the relationship Difference between objective measures of power and subjective measures of fairness 0 Objective measures of power Who actually makes moreormore important decisions etc Someone outside of the relationship chart etc o Subjective measures of fairness What feels fair isn t always equally divided Perception of Fairness 0 Which is more important Whatever you feel is fairer How fairness is related to marital satisfaction 0 Both objective measures of actual equality and partner s perceptions of fairness in uence marital satisfaction marital commitment and the risk of disruption but the perception of fairness is generally more powerful 0 When partners perceive themselves reciprocally respected listened to and supported by the other they are more apt to define themselves as equal partners And are also less depressed generally happier and more satisfied with their marriage Sources of Social Power Coercive Power Willingness to punish your partner psychologically or physically Example Silent treatment withholding sex hitting slapping spanking etc Reward Power Your ability to give a gift to get somebody to do what you want them to do Example Getting paid for good grades affections saying I love you ExpertPower The person who has superior judgment knowledge or power using that as a way to make someone do what you want them to Example Saving and Investment decisions shaped by the partner with more education or experience in nancial matters Informational Power The person who knows more information regarding something such as facts about smoking to make the other person to stop smoking Or saying that women who swallow semen are healthier for sex or persuading other parent about most effective mode of child discipline by citing expert books ReferentPower Emotional identi cation with partner Doing something to make your partner happy Individual power based on a high level of identification with admiration of or respect for the power holder Partner agrees to buy a house or make travel plans preferred by the other because shehe wants to make partner happy Legitimate Power Society and culture authorize the power of one or the other partner or both Dominate individual s ability to demonstrate their power In traditional marriage husband has final authority as head of household Resource Hypothesis The spouse with more resources has more power in marriage Resources include education and earnings good judgment as enhanced by education and experience Explains marital power only when there is no overriding egalitarian or patriarchal norm The effect of resources on marital power depends on the cultural context In atraditional society norms of patriarchal authority may override personal resources In a fully egalitarian society a norm of intimate partner and marital equality may override personal resources It is in a transitional society that the resource hypothesis is most likely to shape marital power relations How gender affects marital power Feminist Perspective resources amp gender Working for a wage and out earning a husband does not necessarily give a wife full status as an equal power Even though a working wife is in theory less obliged to defer to her husband and has greater authority in making family decisions she does not necessarily participate equally in decision making and is still unequally burdened with housekeeping and child rearing Resource Theory does not necessarily explain marital power How culture affects marital power 0 Resources in cultural context egalitarian VS patriarchal norm Egalitarian Husbandwife relationships are more exible and negotiated and socioeconomic achievements become the basis for negotiation within the family Most sought a er mode Lesbian couples where resources brought into relationship do not affect the other person s power Egalitarian Norm of marital power The norm cultural rule that husband and wife should have equal power in a marria e Patriarchal Norm of marital power The norm cultural rule that the man should be dominant in a marital Husband39s resources are greater Yes No Husband mingnr among American couples Idea attained from The culture glves husbands absolute legitimate power relationship I Patriarchal In a traditional society male authority is legitimate power Principle of least interest n any relationship the person who has the least interest in continuing the relationship ie has the best walkaway strategy has the greatest power The person with the least emotional attachment has more power and control in the relationship If I aru thinking vaguely about selling my house and the buyer is desperately keen on buying it I have no need at all to reduce my price I could even invent 39another mterested person39 to help crank the price up The partner with the least interest in continuing a relationship has the most power in it If you don t do it my way I m leaving Relative Love and Need Theory The person gaining the most from the relationship is the most dependent Each partner brings resources to the marriage and receives rewards from the other partner One partner may be gaining more from the marriage This partner is more likely to comply with the others preferences The Relative love and need theory does not predict whether husbands or wives will generally be more powerful 1974 Child Abuse Prevention amp Treatment Act 0 The Act de nes child abuse and neglect as the physical or mental injury sexual abuse or negligent treatment of a childunder the age of l 8 by aperson who is responsible fo the child s welfare under circumstances that indicate that the child s health or welfare is harmed or threatened Types of Child Abuse 0 Abuse Overt acts of 39 39 verbal J quot emotional child abuse or physical child abuse such as beating whipping punching kicking hitting with a heavy object burning or scalding or threatening with or using a knife or gun Spanking or hitting with a hairbrushpaddleetc is not abuse as American standards but are in other countries such as Sweden 0 Neglect Acts of omission failing to provide adequate physical or emotional care Examples Malnutrition Lack of Immunization Lack of proper clothing Irregular attendance at school Need medical attention for poor eyesight or bad teeth Often due to parents or guardians economic problems 0 Emotional abuse or neglect Involves a parent s often being overly harsh and critical failing to provide guidance or being uninterested in a child s needs Might also include allowing children to witness violence between parents guardians 0 Sexual abuse A child s being forced tricked or coerced into sexual behavior exposure unwanted kissing fondling of sexual organs intercourse rape incest with an older person 8 of children of all ages report being sexually abused o Incest Involves sexual relations between related individuals Most common forms are father daughter incest and incest involving a girl and her stepfather or older brother Which type of family Violence is the most pervasive o Sibling Violence as seen by the National Family Violence Survey Which type of child abuse is the most common 0 63 Neglect o 17 Physical Abuse 0 9 Sexual Abuse 0 7 Psychological Mistreatment o 2 Medical Neglect o 50 Malnutrition were white 25 African American 17 Hispanic 2 American IndianAlaska Native 1 AsianPacific Islander When size is taken into account African American American Indian and Paci c Islander had the highest victimization rates Hispanics and Whites had moderate levels of victimization and Asian American had low rates Who is more likely to be sexually abused boys 01 girls 0 Girls Risk factors for child abuse 0 A belief in physical punishment iSpanking swatting You have control over your child 0 Parents may have unrealistic expectations about what the child is capable of Parents often lack awareness and knowledge of the child s physical and emotional needs and abilities Example Slapping a toddler to make them stop crying Too early toilet training 0 Parents who abuse were often abused or neglected as chilalren Violent parents are likely to have experienced and thereby learned violence as children 0 Parental stress anal feelings of helplessness Economic Adversity and worries about money pervade the typical violent home Or other family problems tend to stress parents out which may lead to child abuse Another form of stress is children s misbehavior changing lifestyles and standards of living Isolation or being cut off from social supportParents are alone with children shut off from the watch ll eyes and sharp tongues that regulate parentchild relations in other cultures In social networks and community related environments child abuse and neglect are more likely to be noticed reported and stopped Other factors age of parent marital problems child behavior problems Younger parents are at greater risk Types of Relationship Violence 0 Sexual o Emotional 0 Physical 0 Types of safety 0 Physical physical damage 0 Emotional be self share express feelingsviews 0 Commitment feeling partner will be there for you and trust re faithfulness Reasons for not leaving abusive relationships 0 Love 0 Fear of being harmed even more for trying to leave 0 Emotional dependency and a poor sense of self 0 The man is the father of one or more children and she thinks it would be bad for them to leave their father have him leave The woman cannot financially support herself at present without a man A belief that he is going to change and that only she understands him No clear plan of how to move out of the relationship safely Cycle of Violence Phase One Tension Building Batterer experiences increased tension Victim minimizes Phase 0118 Phase TWO Tension Abusive problems Batterer increases threats Victims Building Incident withdraws Batterer controls more Tension becoming intolerable Victim feels like they are walking on eggshells Poor Communication Phase Two Batterer unpredictable believes he is losing control Victim is helpless feels trapped Batterer highly abusive incident occurs Victim traumatized Batterer blames victim Phase Three Batterer is loving apologetic and attentive Victim has mixed feelings Batterer is manipulative Victim feels guilty and responsible Batterer promises change Victim considers reconciliation Victim often recantsminimizes abuse Domestic violence increases in frequency and severity It is never an isolated incident or a onetime occurrence Phase Three HoneyMoon Period How to help someone who is in an abusive relationship 0 Shelters Provide women and her children with temporary housing food and clothing to alleviate the problems of economic dependency and physical safety Also provide counseling and guidance in obtaining employment Domestic Violence Programs These programs are in many communities around the country and can provide counseling and support groups information about legal options the criminal justice system and social services shelter attorney referrals vocational counseling safety planning and case advocacy Programs will assist victims regardless of their decision to stay in or leave the relationship Ways to stop relationship Violence 0 Counseling and Group Therapy Group therapy reduces stigma and provides a setting in which abusers learn moreconstructive ways of both coping with anger and balancing autonomy and intimacy Criminal Justice System Arrests for domestic violence have become more feasible Then leading to shelters etc Marital Rape A husband s forcing a wife to submit to sexual contact that she does not want or that she nds offensive Early indicators that dating partner will become violent She s scared ofher partner She feels afraid in the relationship He tries to control her He keeps her from working or makes her dependent on him He keeps her from going back to school He tracks who she talks to He makes direct or indirect threats against her or her children He threatens to kill her or the children if she leaves He is hyperjealous He is hostile toward women in general His abusive behavior is followed by expressions of remorse and sorrow promises to change but alas no change He may force her to have sex Also between the ages of 1830 unemployed user of illicit drugs or abusers of alcohol high school dropouts Why Men people Abuse 0 Attempt to compensate for feelings of powerlessness or inadequacy in their jobs marriages or both 0 Powerlessness may stem from inability to earn a salary that keeps up with in ation and the family s standard of living or from stress of a high pressure occupation 0 Men use physical expressions of supremacy to compensate for their lack of occupational success prestige or satisfaction 0 Cultural image and socialization processes encourage men to appear strong and self sufficient o Attempt to maintain control over partners trying to become independent of the relationship Results in psychoemotional and physical violencePat1iarchal Terrorism Power and control wheel from the book Adapted From Domestic Abuse Intern enti on Project Duluth MN 21322 4134 USING PRIVILEGE Trtoling he Making andor carrying ooi ihreals Io do wmeihing lo hurl Fulln9 her down making her Ich bod anou herse l Culll g hm names mokmg rcrihunk she39s mad playing mend game humdzm her mokvng her lccl guilty USING ISOLATION Controlling what she dots we and xoi u to r Ike 0 quotwon using ocltltu i oharan at he lhrcozcning lolokc lhe children 0W7 39ibility e39or ebuzivc bohavuour I 3 ms She wused ix h 0 81c 41 10 VIOLENCE 5 Relationship between childhood abuse and later intimate partner abuse Childhood abuse is associated with increased risk for intimate partner abuse Battered Woman Syndrome Describes a pattern of psychological and behavioral symptoms found in women living in battering relationships Woman cannot see a way out of her situation There are four general characteristics of the syndrome 0 The woman believes that the violence was her fault The woman has an inability to place the responsibility for the violence elsewhere The woman fears for her life and or her children39s lives The woman has an irrational belief that the abuser is omnipresent and omniscient OOO Patriarchal terrorism intimate partner violence vs common couple Violence situational violence 0 Patriarchal Terrorism A man39s systematic use of verbal or physical violence to gain or maintain control over his female partner through fear and intimidation Occurs more in marriages than cohabitation Not intended to focus on a speci c matter of dispute between partners but is intended to establish a general pattern of dominance in the relationship Common Couple Violence Mutual violence between partners in conjunction with a speci c argument Involves fewer instances is not likely to escalate and tends to be less severe in terms of injuries Appears to be perpetrated by women as well as men and may be more common than patriarchal terrorism by producing genderbalanced rates 0 Types of I ntimate Partner Violence 0 Arguments that get physical situational or common couple violence I Women just as likely to hit as men I Female still more likely even when sole hitter to experience negative longterm effects on health 0 Battering intimatepatriarchal terrorism I Virtually always man hurting woman What is the organization on campus that can help with relationship Violence 0 FSU Victim Advocate Program How do you contact this organization 0 httpwwwfsueduvicadv 0 Office hours 850 6447161 After hours 850 6441234 Chapter 11 Family cohesion That intangible emotional quality that holds groups together and gives members a sense of common identity Emotional bonding of family members Communicate appreciation for one another Arrange personal schedules so they can do things together Have a high degree of commitment to promoting one another s happiness and welfare Have some spiritual orientation Deal with crises by pulling together Have positive communication pattems Saying thank you I love you etc You need 5 positives to make up for 1 negative Keys to Active Listening 0 Keep an open mind 0 O O O O 0 Focus on the speaker s ideas not on the delivery Give the speaker your full attention Resist forming an opinion until you ve heard the entire lecture Don t let the speaker s quirks mannerisms speech patterns personality or appearance get in the way of listening to the message Stay focused on the central ideas being communicated Listen for the signi cance of the message 0 Ignore distractions O O O O O O 0 Be fully present Make sure your phone is silenced or turned off Everyone can hear a vibrating phone Tune out any chatter around you or politely tell the talkers that you re having trouble listening Better yet sit up front Face away from windows if you can to avoid outside distractions Set aside all emotional issues you brought with you to the classroom Know your own hot buttons and don t allow yourself to respond emotionally to issues being presented 0 Participate 0 Make eye contact with the speaker o Nod to show understanding 0 Ask claryifying questions 0 Maintain body language that shows you are interested 0 Avoid slouching in your chair and looking bored 0 Take notes but continue to stay focused on the speaker looking up often Giving Feedback 0 Points out downsides O I suppose it s good news 0 Partner responds enthusiastically 0 That s wonderful 0 Less Enthusiastic o Hmmm that s nice o Seem uninterested 0 Did you see the score of the Yankee game 9 The correct reaction the response that s correlated with intimacy satisfaction trust and continued commitment is the first response the enthusiastic active one Checking It Out Checking it out means asking questions to clarify if you understand what someone else is saying It is similar to focused listening Using I Statements 0 Using I statements decreasestakes away blame and judgment in partners during discussions arguments etc Softened StaIt Up 41 Horsem O Negative and O Softened StartUp Attitude of listening itself shows love affection concern respect etc Let your partner know how you are feeling Be consistent verbally and nonverbally Choose carefully where and when to fight Recognize the hidden issues Use communication skills Time out focused listening XYZ statements SpeakerListener technique en 0f the Apocalypse Contempt A feeling that one s spouse is inferior or undesirable Criticism Making disapproving judgments or evaluations of one s partner Mocking in front of other people Rolling your eyes is basically saying You are full of crap I don t have time for this etc Defensiveness Preparing to protect yourself from what you think is an attack from your partner Not physical Trying to establish that you are worthwhile Best way to make your partner defensive is by pointing at them Not a good idea Starting conversations with you is not good Stonewalling Resistance refusing to listen to your partner especially their complaints Belligerence Behavior that is provocative and challenges your spouse spartner s power and authority Refusal to accept in uence Harsh start up Failed repair attempts Gunnysacking Positive Affect Negative A ect Anger sadness whining disgust tension and fear belligerence contempt or defensiveness 0 High Intensity Negative A ect Belligerence contempt and defensiveness 3 of Gottman s indicators of impending divorce 0 Low Intensity Negative Affect Anger Sadness Whining etc Positive Affect Responding to each other warmly with interest affection or shared not mean or contemptuous humor 0 Positive Affect typically deescalated con ict Refusing to Accept In uence 0 One partner s first negative expression was reciprocated with an escalation of the negativity o The spouse on the receiving end of the other s complaint refuses to consider it and instead escalates the ght 0 She whined he grew belligerent or he expressed anger and she became defensive Gender Differences in Communication 0 Report talk vs rapport talk 0 Femaledemandmalewithdraw communication pattern Report vs rapport talk 0 Report Talk Conversation aimed mainly at conveying information Men typically engage in this type of talk 0 Rapport Talk Speaking to gain or reinforce rapport or intimacy Women typically engage in this type of talk Female demandmale withdraw pattern 0 When faced with a complaint from their partner men tend to withdraw emotionally while women appear confrontational and demand to quottalkquot about things emotional Ways that husbands wives and couples can make communication better 0 Wives using positive affect such as shared humor and expressions of affection to deescalate negativity 0 Partners wives need to try to be gentler when they raise complaints 0 Partners wives can help soothe their spouse by communicating care amp affection 0 Partners husbands can learn selfsoothing techniques 0 Partners husbands need to be willing to accept in uence from their wives 0 Both partners need to do what they can do to deescalate the argument Avoiding the 41 Horsemen o Supportive Communication 0 Speaker Listener Technique 0 Time Out Technique 0 Active Listening 0 XYZ Statements 0 Stable Unions Stonewalling 0 Resistance Refusing to listen to one s partner particularly to complaint Refusing to engage in partner s initiatives Stonewallers fear con ict and hesitate to except their own and other s hostile or angry emotions Example Avoiding or evading a fight 1 Leave the house or the scene when a fight threatens 2 Turning sullen and refusing to argue or talk 3 Derailing potential arguments by saying I can t take it when you yell at me 11 o 4 Using the hit and run tactic of ling a complaint then leaving no time for an answer or a resolution 0 5 Saying Ok you win giving in verbally maybe even promising to do better next time but without meaning it Gunnysacking 0 Keeping one s grievances secret while tossing them into an imaginary gunnysack that grows heavier and heavier over time 10 Guidelines to Bonding Fighting 0 Bond F ightz39ng Kind of ghting that brings people closer rather than pushing them apart 0 1 Level with each other 0 Leveling Being transparent authentic and explicit about how one feels especially concerning more con ictive or hurtful aspects of an intimate relationship Self disclosure in action 0 2 To avoid attacks use Istatements when you can 0 The receiver perceives Istatements as an attempt to recognize and communicate feelings but youandwhy statements are more likely perceived as attacks whether or not they are intended as such 0 Must be used positively o 3 Avoid mixed or double messages 0 Simultaneous messages that contradict each other Can be verbal or nonverbal 0 Example Of course I love you as they pick a peck of dirt of your shirt and seem indifferent 0 Example Listening while doing chores send a nonverbal message that what is being said is not important 0 Example Silent Treatment when angry 4 Choose the time and place carefullv 0 Partners should try to negotiate gripe hours by pinning down atime and place for a ght 0 Advantages I A Complainants can organize their thoughts and feelings more calmly and deliberately increasing the likelihood that their arguments will be persuasive I B Recipients of complaints have time before the ght to prepare themselves for criticism 5 Focus anger onlv on speci c issues 0 Constructive ghting aims at resolving SPECIFIC problems that are happening NOW not at gunnysacking 6 Ask for a speci c change but be open to o Complainants should be ready to propose at least one solution to the problem and recipients might also come up with solutions 0 Keep proposed solutions pertinent to the issue at hand and therefore partners are able to bargain and negotiate alternatives 7 Be willing to change yourself 0 Partners need to be willing to change themselves to be changed by others and to be in uenced by their partner s feelings and rational arguments 0 Every intimate relationship involves negotiation and mutual compromise partners who refuse to change or insist they cannot are in effect refusing to engage in an intimate relationship 8 Don t I to win 0 If one partner must win then it lessens the other s selfesteem and increases resentment and strain on the relationship 0 Both lose if they engage in destructive con ict 0 Both win if they become closer and settle or at least understand their differences 0 Be willing to negotiate rather than win 9 Remember to end the argument 0 When partners get too hurt or frightened to continue they need to stop arguing before they reach a solution 0 Either terminate the argument or interrupt it for some time 10 Be willing to forgive o Forgiveness is the idea of a change whereby one becomes less motivated to think feel and behave negatively o Forgiveness is granted often a process that takes time rather than one specific decision or act of the will 0 Being able to forgive has been associated with marital satisfaction lessened ambivalence toward a partner con ict resolution enhanced commitment and greater empathy Intergenerational transmission of communication problems Suzanne Steinmetz s research showed that families assume consistent patterns or habits for facing con ict and these patterns are passed from one generation to the next Young men also tend to rebel against their parents marital style Men also married women with a different con ict style from their mother However couples can change through knowledgeable decisions Myth of con ict free relationship Con ict itself cannot be free of con ict Even the fairest fighters hit below the belt once in a while and just about all the fighting involves some degree of frustration and hurt feelings Passive aggression Expressing anger being upset and frustration through indirect waysLike nagging when are you going to pay that bill I would really appreciate it if you did something in the house Nitpicking when someone is doing the dishes and you are complaining cause they are not doing it righ And sarcasm Procrastination Way of jabbing your partner without doing it verbally Withholding a ection Any form of affection kiss on the cheek hugging etc Sabotage when you spoil or undermine something that your partner wants to do to show them how angry you are Displacement Finding a scapegoat for your anger finding someone else to release your anger with Indi erence Common arguments in rst and second marriages First Marriages 00000 0 Second OOOOOO Money 349 Children 144 Chores 27 Communication 23 lnLaws 25 WorkJobCareers 22 Marriages Children 322 Communication 28 LnLaws 17 WorkJobCareers 17 Issues and events model Events important and deeper issues inyour relationship Events can be anything that happens in life such as a bounced check or a misse Issues tend to be the larger areas of married life that we all have to cope with The three major issues that most married couples say cause p communication Other co in laws o en trigger feelings about the more ISSUES AND EVENTS 3 aw d appointment roblems are money sex an mmon issues are children recreation alcohol religion sex careers and housework Big Ten Hidden Issues Repair attempt o Caring Power Control Recognition Integrity Acceptance s in communication Training Programs in couple empathy and communication have proven quite effective in helping people change past behaviors PREP Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program Aim to strengthen marriages and preventing divorce 14 0 Marriage Encounter and similar organizations offer weekend workshops designed for mostly satis ed couples who want to improve their relationship Setting realistic expectations about the relationship Use guidelines for bonding fighting Videotape ght and play it back later in order for each spouse to look at themselves objectively Common ways of complaining o Ineffective ways of complaining 0 Mind reading 0 Name calling 0 You always or you never 0 Blaming 0 Communication danger signs 0 Escalation 0 Put downsInvalidation o Avoidance Withdrawal Time out 0 When an argument gets too heated a timeout is needed to cool down 0 Between 20 minutes but less than 24 hours Speaker Listener Technique 0 Speaker 0 Speak for yourself Don t mind read 0 Keep Statements brief Don t go on and on 0 Stop to let the Listener paraphrase o Listener o Paraphrase what you hear 0 Focus on the Speaker s message Don t rebut 0 Both 0 The speaker has the oor 0 Speaker keeps the oor while Listener paraphrases 0 Share the oor 0 Keys to Focus Listening 0 Non Verbal I Let the Speaker finish without interrupting I Concentrate on what they are saying and stay in present moment I Look the person directly in the eyes 0 Verbal I Ask openended or classifying questions I Use paraphrasing re ect back what you hear in a genuine manner I Listen for the purpose of understanding Do not rebut Escalation 0 When an argument rise and rises slowly and gradually becomes bigger as it goes on Chapter 13 Total Fertility Rate TFR The number of births a typical woman will have over her lifetime TFR has dropped sharply from a high of more than 35 at the peak of the baby boom Post World War II spurt in fertility to the lowest level ever recorded 1738 in 1976 Recent fertility trends in the USz TFR has uctuated around 20 On average American women are now having around two children each Fertility levels have dropped childbearing has increasingly shifted to later ages In uences on fertility in the USz Teen birthrates have declined Married women are waiting longer to have their rst babies Multiple birthrates twins triplets and higher order births is also higher as more use is made of technolo Childlessness is higher for women now than in recent past Replacement level 21 is the level of fertility needed Taml lmllky me Total fenility rate Vear 1990 Year for a society to replenish its population The US fertility rates have never dropped as low as some European and Asian countries The US tends to have strong fertility norm encouraging at least two children and discouraging childlessness and onechild families Sliding vs Deciding and parenting 0 To Parent or Not to Parent Pronatalist bias 0 0 00000000 How many children Financially Ready I No Credit Cards I Budget set for 0 Food 0 Groceries 0 Medical 0 Daycare How to discipline I Techniues ideas books etc Mentally Ready Emotionally Ready When the relationship is ready should you have kids If so how many Should you have kids What if you couldn t have kids What if you re not married and you want a baby What if I want to have a child but I can t What about adoption 0 Social pressures to have children 0 Strong norms against childlessness persist 0 Having children is taken for granted whereas not having children seems to need a justi cation Structural Antinatalism o Insuf ciently supportive of parents and children 0 US has become slanted against having children or at least not doing all it can to support parents and their children 0 Our values laws employment policies and culture are inimical to children and disastrous to committed parents Social pressures relating to having children 0 Pronatalist Bias 0 Having children is taken for granted whereas not having children seems to need justi cation 83 of American women say being or becoming a mother is important to their identity Negative stereotypes of the voluntarily childfree were apparent at least through the 1970 s 0 Pronatal pressures are becoming stronger now that the countercultural trends of the 1960 s and 1970 s have been replaced by family values 0 Negative views on childlessness are changing nowadays instead of childless it is being called childfree o Expectations for married couples to have children are much less pronounced than in the past 0 Friends are having kids therefore you need kids as well 0 Age Biological clock is ticking Bene ts of having children 0 Meaning Purpose Satisfaction in family life Emotional base Value of children Social capital perspectives Living piece of you Connection with partner Love Meaning of life Exciting Life Ful lling Creates memories Traditions Creating life with partner Cons of having children Financial burdens Opportunity costs Adds tensionwork Restricts spontaneity amp freedom Strains marital relationships No sleep Expensive Stressful No Privacy Consider different types of kids Down Syndrome ADD Autistic etc Live revolves around child gtAlthough couples are happiest before children and tend to become dissatis ed after children the stability of the marriage increases after children Value of Children Perspective Idea that children bring unique benefits to parents Motivation for parenthood because of the rewards including symbolic rewards which children bring to parents Family allows an opportunity to exercise a kind of authority and in uence that one might not have at work Children are capable of bringing profound meaning and purpose into people s lives Social 0 Opportunity 0 Capital Perspective Motivation for parenthood in anticipation of the links parenthood provides to social networks and their resources Resources that can be used to one s bene t such as social ties Brings about exchange between family members neighbors and community members creating extensive and supportive networks Motivation for married and unmarried prospective parents More nonmarital conceptions occur for women who anticipate social capital bene ts from children Costs The economic opportunities for wage earning and investments that parents forgo when rearing children More like opportunity losses which bring about more costs and strain in family and standards of living Costs are more often felt by mothers Women s career advancement may suffer due to motherhood especially in a society that does not provide adequate day care nor exible workplaces There is a heavy financial penalty on anyone who chooses to spend any serious amount of time with children The rewards of being a parent are worth it despite the cost and work it takes How children affect marital happiness and stability Marital strain is considered a common cost of having children Young children stabilize a marriage parents are less likely to divorce Till the age of 1012 then marital dissatisfaction peaks But a stable marriage is not necessarily a happy one Children have the tendency to increase stability in a marriage while decreasing its quality Parents report lower marital satisfaction than nonparents due to differences in parenting etc The more children there are the lower the marital satisfaction Parents are more likely to experience depression than nonparents Spouses report a decline in marital satisfaction over time but increases with the arrival of children along with the strains of work identity and domestic responsibilities 38 of mothers report marital satisfaction whereas 62 of childless report marital satisfaction Drop in marital satisfaction is less for couples who were happy before the birth and planned for the infant Voluntary vs involuntary childlessness Voluntary Childlessness o The deliberate choice not to become a parent 0 The choice reported by 6 of American women 0 Decision to remain childfree and experience freedom from child care responsibilities and greater opportunity for selffulfillment and spontaneous mobility o Often chosen to lrther career become stable in marriage greater income higher education etc 0 Greater ability to control fertility 0 Greater participation of women in paid employment 0 Concern about over population and the environment 19 0 Usually urban less traditional in gender roles less likely to have a religious affiliation and less conventional with their counterparts o Ideological rejection of the traditional family 0 Higher marital satisfaction Involuntary Childlessness o The result of infertility or other adverse circumstances 0 Being involuntary childless can profoundly affect your sense of identity and create deep seated grief o A wall of silence surrounds and isolates most women and men regardless of the reason for th eir involuntary childlessness 0 Approximately 25 of Americans are childless not by choice and 10 to 15 of the reproductive age group are infertile Early vs Late parenthood Early 0 Pros o C ons Late 0 Pros o Cons the pros and cons of each More certainty of having children Mothers tend to be more maternal Greater freedom later Less of a generational gap Better health for both parents Parents can seek help of their parents with their children May have to forgo some education and get a slower start up on the career ladder Can create a strain on the breadwinner to support the family causing little time to spend at home Young parents can lack the maturity needed to cope with family responsibility Start late in saving for college and retirement and must work harder to meet family needs if they have low incomes More confidence in their ability to manage their changed lives due to the organizational skills they have developed in their work More money with which to arrange support services More confident in their ability as parents Maturity Patience Good parenting skills Men express a greater joy in parenthood Period of personal development Financial and emotional stability Combining established careers with parenting created unforeseen problems May not live to see grandchildren Children experience anxiety due to parents health and mortality Elderly care on younger children 20 One Child Families 17 of women ages 4044 had just one child Is growing due to 0 Women s increasing career opportunities and aspirations in a context of inadequate domestic support 0 High cost of raising a child through college 0 Peer support Mixed emotions about being an only child such as that only children will be less interpersonal more distressed more selfcentered and less cooperative whereas others believe they will be more intelligent and mature with more leadership skills and better health and life satisfaction Pros 0 Parents can enjoy parenthood without being overwhelmed and tied down More free time Better off nancially Share decisions more equally and could afford to do more things together Parents with only children have higher expectations academically and have more money saved for college Lack of opportunity to experience sibling relationships Siblings provide social support exchanges assistance etc Only children may face more pressure from parents Sometimes under an uncomfortable amount of parental scrutiny As a adults no help to care for elderly parents For parents the fear that their only child might get hurt or die Pregnancy outside ofmarriage the types Cohabitants o Fertility during cohabitation accounts for almost all of the recent nonmarital childbearing o 40 of births are to heterosexual cohabiting women 0 Birthrates are similar to those of married women 0 Fragile Families inonmarried couple who have children where the father is involved in the beginning and gradually becomes less involved Singles 0 Increase in childbearing by single women in their 30 s is a white phenomenon 0 Black rates have declined 0 Hispanic rates have increased but not nearly as much as whites o The economic situation of older single mothers is closer to that of teen mothers than that of married childbearers the same age Adolescents o Birthrates rose in the 1960 s as sexual behavior liberalized Declines in adolescent birthrates have been large for young black women Teens have begun to use contraception more and sexual activity has leveled off Teen pregnancies are at a historic low for the nation But the US still has the highest teen pregnancy abortion and birthrates of any industrialized country 0 Teenage parents face a bleak educational future limited job prospects and a higher chance of living in poverty OOOO 0 Children of teen parents tend to have a low academic achievement level and tendency to repeat the cycle of teen pregnancy 0 Nonmarital births have increased and are at an alltime high 0 Childbearing in marriages has declined Single mothers by choice 0 Women who plan to become mothers although they are not married or with a partner They are typically older with economic and educational resources that enable them to be selfsupporting Older single mothers who are better off than normal single mothers Older woman with an education established job and economic resources who has made a choice to become a single mother Does not have a stable life partner but wants to parent and makes this choice as she sees her biological clock running out Through accidental biological pregnancy arti cial insemination by known or unknown donor or adoption Traditional family Stepfamilies and having children 0 Second spousepartner is more likely to want a child if there were no stepchildren of either partner Desire for another child was lower for cohabiting couples than for married ones If both partners want a child the intention is low with one exception Parents often want to integrate the stepfamily around a new child who is biologically related to all family members Also known as the cement child Induced abortion 0 30 of American women have had an induced abortion in their lifetimes The scientific term for what is commonly termed abortion The removal of the fetus from the uterus is inducedD that is it requires a deliberate surgical or pharmaceutical act Option to end an unwanted pregnancy Some married couples may decide to abort because they cannot financially support the child anymore or feel that they have already completed their family 40 of unwanted pregnancies are aborted Option for couples that after prenatal diagnosis find out about serious defects in the child Reasons for abortion include but are not limited to interfering with the women s education work or ability to care for said baby not wanting to be a single mother or having relationship problems completed childbearing and wants no more children or are not ready for a child It is the woman s choice not the parents partner s or husband Natural Abortion 0 Miscarriage o The women s body rejects the embryo due to chromosomal miX matches Safety politics attitudes and impact of abortion 0 Roe vs Wade 1973 0 Abortion was illegal until 1973 0 Social attitudes include Abortion is okay if a woman s life is in danger in this case 85 of people agree it should be legal What about pregnancy by rape or incest As abortion becomes more due to choice it becomes less accepting Abortion later on in pregnancy is also less accepting There is no evidence for long term psychological or medical issues Higher tendency for short term issues 0 00000 Involuntary infertility Situation of a couple or individual who would like to have a baby but cannot Involuntary infertility is medically diagnosed when a woman has tried for twelve months to become pregnant without success Inability to conceive or carry pregnancy 1 in 8 chance you either know someone with infertility or you are experiencing it yourself wwwresolveorg Many psychological social ethical issues Related concept is impaired fertility describes the situation of a woman or couple who has a physical barrier to pregnancy or who has not been able to carry the pregnancy for full term Seeking infertility services 0 Insemination o Eggsperm donors 0 I W orART o IVFIn Vitro Fertilization I Creating a child by taking an egg and sperm combining them in a petri dish letting them fertilize and then inseminating them into the woman I Between 15000 to 30000 for first treatment 0 ART Assisted Reproductive Technologies I Advanced reproductive technology such as artificial insemination in vitro fertilization or embryo transplantation that enables infertile couples or individuals including gay and lesbian couples to have children 0 Insurance does not cover costs 0 Embryo adoption Social and ethical issues in treating infertility o Commercialization ofReproduction Prospective parents and their bodies are treated as products and are thereby dehumanized 0 Selling eggs or sperm forprofit fertility clinics 0 Marketing of sperm or eggs with certain donor characteristics such as intelligence physical attractiveness and athletic ability Reports of fraud overstatement of positive outcomes failure to warn about the risk of multiple births and other violations make it clear that the person seeking treatment is a consumer and should interview the doctor to investigate the facility 0 O 23 0 Little to no attempt to regulate ART as adoption is 0 Federal government does not require annual reports of procedures and success rates but no license is required 0 Inequality in access to reproductive technology 0 Raise social class and other inequality issues 0 ART is usually not affordable by those with low incomes o Confusing and ambiguous parent child relationships 0 Some men and at least one woman has become a parent after death I Such as frozen eggs embryos sperm etc due to war or other circumstances 0 Surrogacy I Child might have three mothers genetic mother gestational mother and the social mother I Two fathers Genetic father and social father I In this situation how do courts define real parents 0 Sperm donors begin to want contact with kids in their adolescence o The potential to create a child with certain traits expands Adoption types etc o 2 of all children are adopted 0 Public vs Private 0 Public I Using an agency created solely for adoptions 0 Private I Broker makes a deal with the adoptive parents and seller 0 Open vs Closed 0 Open I Available to see and interact with children throughout their lives 0 Closed I No communication between parties whatsoever 0 Cross culturalracial adoptions o 15 of adopted children are of a different race than one or both parents 0 6 differs as to Hispanic ethnicity 0 At rst looked down upon due to cultural genocide identity problems with children and loss of children from their community 0 The Multiethnic Placement Act 1994 and the Adoption and Safe Families Act 1997 prohibit delay or denial of adoption based on race color or national origin of the prospective adoptive parents 0 Adoption of olderdisabled children 0 Lesbians and gay men or older couples often adopt these hardtoplace children because law or adoption agency policy denies them the ability to adopt other children 0 Gay men often adopt children with HIVAIDS o 2 of adoption are disrupted adoptions where the child is returned to the agency before the adoption is final or dissolved adoptions where the child is returned after the adoption is final 0 40 of children adopted between the ages of 1217 are disrupted or dissolved 0 Some children are emotionally damaged or developmentally impaired due to drug or alcohol addicted biological parents from physical abuse from biological or foster parents or broken attachments due to moving so much Some develop attachment disorder which is defensively shutting off the willingness or ability to make future attachments 0 International adoption 0 About 18000 children are from other countries such as 50 from Asia especially Korea and China 18 from Latin America and the Caribbean 31 from Europe primarily Russia and Rumania 1 from Africa 0 Expensive to travel to another country and trouble to get time off work to go to the child s country of origin Difficulty negotiating and paperwork in foreign languages Rely on translators and brokers Uncertainty about being able to choose child Unexpected expansion of adoption fees or charitable contributions Ambivalence and reluctance of a nation to place its children abroad And possible failure to bring child home Mother s consent is an issue oversea because it is difficult to know that the mother really did put child up for adoption 0000000 0 Romania placed a moratorium on adoptions fearing corruption of their entire system 0 Russia has placed temporary moratorium on adoption applications 0 Guatemala is revising its process to comply with the Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption 0 China is imposing new rules on adoptions such as establishing age requirement for adoptive parents under 50 and stable marriage specifications and ruling out obese parents 0 Poses same and similar problems to regular adoption will child adapt Etc Parenting styles by Baumrind o Neglectful 0 Low nurture and low parental discipline and control 0 Laissez Faire Permissive 0 High nurture and low parental discipline and control 0 Authoritarian seen more in blacks and Hispanics 0 Low nurture and high parental discipline and control 0 Authoritative Better adjusted as adults 0 High nurture and high parental discipline and control 0 These were studies done on white middle class families Research ndings on parenting styles 0 Each type of parenting style differs in each racial ethnic group Multi partnered feltility 0 Having children in more than one marriage or relationship Chapter 14 Types of divorce rates 0 Number of divorces per year 0 Ratio of current marriages to current divorces Lifetime records ofmarriage and divorce 0 Crude divorce rate of divorces per 1000 in population 0 Includes portions of the population children and the unmarried who are not at risk for divorce 0 Used for comparisons over time o Declined almost 30 since 1979 and has not been so low since around 1970 Re ned divorce rate9 o of divorces per 1000 marriedwomen o Compares the ofdivorces to the of women at risk of divorce 0 More valid indicator of the rate at which marriages are dissolvedthan crude divorce rate 0 Declined throughout the 1990 s 0 Peaked in 1979 Divorces pa 1 000 populanun US Divorce Rates 4050 oflst marriages will end in divorce 0 Crude divorce rate has declined 28 since 1979 0 Most divorces occur earlier in marriage Divorces for those married 20 has increased longer lifespan Emerging trend of redivorce U S has among the highest rates in the world Divorce Divide Divorce rates vary by social category Factors related to divorce conomic factors social class amp women in the labor force 0 High expectations 0 Marriage has been rede ned as a nonperrnanent union Selfful lling prophecy Fewer social legal and moral constraints 0 Having divorced parents increases the likelihood of divorce intergenerational transmission Remarried mates are more likely to divorce Premarital sex and cohabitation before marriage increase the likelihood of divorce only when these take place with someone other than the future marital er Premarital pregnancy and childbearing increase the risk 26 o Remaining childfree young children stabilize a marriage 0 RaceEthnicity differences 0 Study in 1996 found that AfricanAmericans had the highest cumulative divorce percentage 48 with nonHispanic whites and Hispanics at about 40 and AsianPacific Islanders at 24 Independence effect 0 Employment might contribute to divorce by giving an unhappily married woman the economic power increased independence and selfconfidence to help her decide to divorce Income effect 0 Among a low income couple the wife s earnings may actually help to hold the marriage together by counteracting the negative effects of poverty and economic insecurity on marital stability Redivorce 0 An emerging trend in US society Redivorces take place more rapidly than first divorces so that many who divorce and their children can expect several rapid and emotionally significant transitions in lifestyle and family unit Divorcing more than once Divorcing becomes easier with each marriage Intergenerational transmission of divorce 0 Having divorced parents increases the likelihood of divorce Marital complaints given by divorced Also same as factors related to divorce Thinking about Divorce 0 Assessing the rewards of marriage 0 Love respect friendship physicalemotional health 0 Determining the alternatives 0 Would I be happier Can it be saved Separation Stable unhappy marriages o Barriers to divorce 0 Social pressure religious beliefs common friendships economic investmentslack of financial resources children 0 Levinger s model of divorce decisions I This model derived from exchange theory presents a decision to divorce as involving a calculus of the barriers to divorce eg concerns about children and nances religious prohibitions the rewards of the marriage and alternatives to the marriage e g can the divorced person anticipate a new relationship career development or a single life that will be more rewarding and less stressful than the marriage Types of divorce emotional legal community psychic o The Emotional Divorce 0 Replacing positive emotions with alienating actions amp words Such as small and large betrayals and responding with blame o The Legal Divorce 0 Dissolution of marriage by state through a court order terminating the marriage 0 Nofault divorce amp divorce mediation o The Community Divorce 0 Ruptures of relationships extended family amp changes in social networks that come as result of divorce 0 The Psychic Divorce 0 Regaining of psychological independence through emotional separation No fault divorce 0 Revision of divorce law was intended to reduce the hostility of the partners and to permit an individual to end a failed marriage readily 0 Different than fault divorce where one must find grounds for divorce such as adultery mental cruelty or desertion o Unilateral divorce because one partner can secure the divorce even if the other wants to continue the marriage Divorce mediation 0 Alternative nonadversarial means of dispute resolution by which a couple with assistance of a mediator or mediators negotiate the terms of their settlement of custody support property and visitation issues Financial effects of divorce 0 Divorce is related to a woman s and sometimes a man s lowered economic status 0 Divorce carries economic costs 0 Lower income affects children Economic divorce 0 Couple becomes distinct economic units each with its own property income control of expenditures and responsibility for taxes debts and so on 0 Economic decline for women is consistent o Spousal support amp child support 0 Guaranteed child support amp children s allowance Effects of divorce on women nancial 0 Women and children experience declines in family income between 27 to 51 o Incometoneeds ratio 0 How well an income meets financial needs 0 Women and their children experience a decline of 20 to 36 in their incometoneeds ratio 0 Women with children only have about 56 of the incomerelativetoneeds that noncustodial fathers had 0 Due to men and women s unequal wages and different work patterns 28 0 Women who are custodial parents depend on child support to meet their family expenses 0 Typical division of property in divorce is not always fair or equal Spousal support 0 Dependent spouses are awarded maintenance in form of rehabilitation alimony in which the ex husband pays the exwife maintenance for a few years while she prepares to reenter the job market 0 Although helpful usually not enough to allow the wife to reestablish herself financially Custodial vs non custodial parent 0 Custodial o The parent who has legal responsibility for a child after parents divorce or separate In sole custody the child resides with the custodial parent In joint custody the child may reside primarily with one parent or may live part of the time with each 0 Non Custodial o The visiting parent Child support 0 Money paid by the noncustodial parent to the custodial parent to financially support children of a former marital cohabiting or sexual relationship Guaranteed child support 0 Type of child support provided in France and Sweden for example in which the government sends to the custodial parent the full amount of support awarded to the child and assumes responsibility for collecting what is owed by the noncustodial parent Children s allowance 0 A type of child support that provides a government grant to all familiesimarried or single parent regardless of incomeibased on the number of children they have Reasons for negative effects of divorce on children 0 Life Stress Perspective 0 Accumulation of stressors results in problems for children of divorce 0 Divorce involves the same stress for children as for adults Divorce is not one single event but a process of stressful eventsimoving changing schools and so on Parental Loss Perspective 0 Assumes both parents in the same house is best for children 0 Divorce involves the absence of a parent from the household which deprives children of the optimal environment for their emotional practical and social support Parental Adjustment Perspective 0 Quality of parenting is important in children s adjustment to divorce 0 Parent s childraising skills are impaired as a result of the divorce with probable negative consequences for the children Economic Hardship Perspective 0 Assumes the economic hardship caused is responsible for problems faced by children with divorced parents Interparental Con ict Perspective 0 Con ict between parents is responsible for the lowered wellbeing of children of divorce 29 More than 12 of all divorces involves children under eighteen Outcomes of divorce depend of circumstances before amp after divorce Children in highcon ict marriages bene t from divorce When divorce occurs in lowcon ict marriages children have poorer outcomes Most difficult time tends to be within one year of the divorce depression guilt and anxiety Sleeper effect Children of divorce tend to have lower outcomes in academic success conduct psychological adjustment social competence selfconcept amp have more troubled marriages amp weaker ties to parents Custody issues after divorce Extension a er traditional gender roles Divorced father typically have legal responsibility for financial support Divorced mothers tend to take care of their children on a daily basis 83 of custodial parents are mothers 17 are fathers Nowadays both mother and father have equal opportunity to retain custody Preference tends to be to mothers When both parents seek custody father custody are slightly higher when the children are older Child snatching Child abduction Occurs when a parent is not happy with custody agreements Also includes international abduction Is frightening and confusing for the child and may be I J 39 quotJ 39 and Y J hinder the child s development Uniform ChildCustody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act and Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act stop biological parents from taking children from other parent II39II Joint custody o A situation in which both divorced parents continue to take equal responsibility for important decisions regarding their child s general upbringing The good divorce amp Binuclear family study 0 Binuclear family study Ahrons o Amicable relations I Perfect Pals 12 0 May confuse kids I Cooperative Colleagues 38 o Con ictual relations I Angry Associates 25 I Fiery Foes 25 0 Want to hurt partner 0 Fighting divorce 0 Hold grudges o Create a binuclear family 0 Some days with mom dad but parent switches home not child 30 0 New family type that includes members of 2 or more families that existed before the divorce and remarriage 0 Do not place children in the middle 0 Coparenting 0 Shared decision making and parental supervision in such areas as discipline and schoolwork or shared holidays and recreation Chapter 15 Remarriage o Marriages in which one partner had been divorced or widowed Basic Trends o Remarriages make up 12 of all marriages o l in 3 Americans are stepparents stepchildren stepsiblings or living in stepfamilies o Remarriage rose during WW2 decreased in 50 s amp peaked in 1975 0 Recent decline is due to increased 39 39 quot quot amp 39 39 that quot from remarrying 0 Today majority of remarrieds are due to divorce Reasons for lack of statistics on remarriage 0 US Census Bureau stopped compiling remarriage statistics in 1988 0 Now we rely on random samples from national surveys Various types of living arrangements for remarrieds o Remarriage with no children 0 Stepfather amp biological mother 0 Stepfather has previous children 0 Biological mother has previous children 0 Couple has cemen child joint biologicalstep o Stepmother amp biological father 0 Stepmother has previous children 0 Biological father has previous children 0 Couple has cemen child joint biologicalstep o Cohabiting stepfamilies 0 Same as previous two Choosing New Partners Important to resolve previous divorce issues rst psychic divorce Courtship occurs more rapidly with earlier more open sexual component Dating is different home activities EXwives more likely to gain financially through remarriage Two factors that prevent women from remarrying 0 Age 0 Kids 0 Remarriages are less homogenous and more heterogamous Advantages for men in remarriage 0 Does not have custody of children and therefore easier to find a new partner 0 Man is older mature and financially stable Homogamy in remarriage o Remarriages become less homogenous o More heterogamous
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