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Individual and Family Development

by: Chase Davis

Individual and Family Development HDFS 1070

Chase Davis
GPA 3.89

Ronald Sabatelli

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Ronald Sabatelli
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This 54 page Class Notes was uploaded by Chase Davis on Thursday September 17, 2015. The Class Notes belongs to HDFS 1070 at University of Connecticut taught by Ronald Sabatelli in Fall. Since its upload, it has received 97 views. For similar materials see /class/205791/hdfs-1070-university-of-connecticut in Human Dev And Family Sciences at University of Connecticut.

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Date Created: 09/17/15
11 8 Earl Adulthood 0 Middle to late 20 s but it varies 0 Work of adulthood developmental tasks 0 Knowing yourself maturity gaining ego resources to take on adult roles make assumption that people have acquired sufficient degree of maturity 0 Commitment 0 life s work career 0 Shaping your dreams mapping vision for future ex family lifestyle issues marriage 0 Find mentors people that can help you achieve your goalsdreamsvisions provide guidance help you 0 Assumption Identity work leads to maturity maturity is necessary to take on adult rolesresponsibilities 0 Identity is foundation for successful transition to adulthood results in sufficient maturity to take on roles o What is Maturity Robert White 0 Stabilizing of identity settled into a working model of yourself stable 0 Freeing from personal relationships free from excessive anxieties of disapproval o Deepening of interests what we valueis important 0 Expansion of caring less egocentric o Psychological tensioanrisis developing a capacity for lifelong intimacy 0 Each stage has tensionsdemands that become anxiety 0 Intimacy forming lifelong partnerships capacity to live intimately with another 0 Erikson s Crisis Intimacy vs Isolation o Intimacy ability to experience an open supportive tender relationship with another without fear of losing one s own identity in the process I Characterized by several different abilities o Mutuality ability and willingness to regulate one s need in order to respond to the needs of one s partner 0 Empathy skill enabling us to connect with others that allows us to respond to others ie if you have a problem it becomes their problem 0 Trust ability to be in a relationship and know they differentiate and meet your needs belief that other person won t take advantage of you 0 Person with high degree of intimacy is responsive trusting bc it enhances hisher life trusts that needs will be met trust they will be enriched by partnership I Intimacy is experienced when we are able to experience closeness with another without having to compromise who we are in the process built upon ability to forge connections wo fear of losing yourself 0 Manifestations of Isolation I Fusion Fuse to others and compromise ourselvesdemand partners to compromise themselves for the sake of the relationships Doesn t build intimacy but fosters anxiety I Chronic Loniiness Being in or not being in relationships both possible Vulnerable about identity 0 Focus is on working models of others and relationships working models of self 0 Well D39quot 39 399 39 quot 39 39 39 39 39 g 9 Identity lt9 Capacity for intimacy o Poorly Differentiated 9 Individuation Inhibiting 9 Identity confusion gt Isolation 0 Relationship between Love and Intimacy 0 Love is a secondary emotion Joy is the primary emotion Love is what we experience when we are experiencing a high degree of arousal in the presence of someone else arousal attraction Love is either grounded in Joy Anxiety or both 0 0 Joy based Love I Sterberg s Triangular Theory of Love 0 Passion ltgt Intimacy ltgt Commitment 0 Passion response when we are aroused sexually emotionally by someone Important in meeting our needs Intimacy heightened degree of interdependence spending a 0 lot of time in close contact with someone while you re aroused 0 Commitment When you feel dedicated to the future of the relationship dedicated to maintain it I Dr Ron s Version 0 Passion ltgt JOY ltgt commitment 0 Anxiety based love I Passion ltgt FEARS ltgt Commitment I Manifestations of Fear 0 Afraid of being alone 0 Afraid of losing one s identity 0 Afraid of not mattering 1110 Lifetime Partnerships o Filtering the pool of eligible s o Distinguishing features of a lifetime partnership 0 Intent to live our life with that person 0 Expect the relationship to last through our adult years 0 Good faith effort to be sexually faithful to each other 0 Enduring and exclusive relationship expectations 0 Interpersonal Attraction thought of as being a foundation for selecting a lifetime partner Relationships provide us with opportunities to provide us rewards but accompanied by costs add them up and we re attracted to relationships with outcomes are high 0 Rewards vary persontoperson What each person sees as a reward is a function of what we experienced in our family origin our experiences Pleasing to you Ex level of physical attractiveness humor fun you have with them 0 Costs Ex Jealousy differences in religious beliefs their job 0 Outcomes Ratio of rewards to costs 0 Comparison Levels CLs Realistically expect what they feel they deserve some feel they deserve different things than others What s salient what you think is importantreligious vs money vs sense of humor 0 Comparison LevelsforAlternatives CLalt Outcomes available in alternatives either another person or being single Costsbarriers to leaving 0 What influences Comparison Levels 0 Cultural orientations norms of physical attractions cultural normsdetermine what we think is important in each other 0 Family oforigin experiences attachment history level of anxieties you have about yourselfand relationships 0 Lived experiences and observations in and around relationships working model 0 What defines Commitment 0 Dedication to the partner and relationship 0 Absence of monitoring of alternatives not paying attention 0 Basis of Commitment 0 High levels of attraction o Perception of reciprocity I quotI might be attracted to you but for me to get a higher level of commitment I have to perceive that you are also attracted to mequot believe someone is as invested in you as you are in them I Secret Tasks tests that we create to measure someone s involvement in a relationship frameinterpret that they re involvedattracted to us 0 Often partners don t know what s going on 0 Basis of Trust 0 High levels of attraction 0 Commitment o Reciprocity o Equityfairness Trust is important because 0 When you believe that your needs will be met by somebody and they won t exploit you then trust gets us past the times when people disappointlet us down 0 Trust is the foundation for forgiveness Love is a secondary emotion o In the presence of attraction arousal commitment reciprocity emerging trust we label the heighten emotion state love 0 When experiencing this feeling w someone it leads us to feel that overwhelming sense of wellbeing makes us conclude that we are in love 0 Love reduction of fears and anxieties However partner selection is not all about attraction and love Dependence Has to do with comparison level for alternatives If someone is dependent on a relationship Even when attraction goes down if the alternatives are not worth it people won t leave Outcomes relative to Alternatives Sliding versus Dependence o More young people are sliding into long term partnerships rather than deciding o Sliding choosing to be in relationships because they don t really have alternatives expensive to live need to incomes etc Start out committed to cohabiting to each other because it is convenient just continues to slide along that way No better alt Importance of Dependence 0 Related to Power 0 Related to Relationship Stability I Us gt CL and gt CLaIt I Us gt CL and lt CLaIt I O s lt CL and gt CLaIt I O s lt CL and lt CLaIt Reciprocity typically present when we commit to lifetime partnerships o Reciprocal attraction commitment trust dependence 11 12Settin u the LifeTime relationshi s stem Cohabitation versus Lifetime Partnerships o Sliding versus Deciding Sliding feel comfortableconvenient Slide into a long term partnership wo actively making a decision that it is the best relationship for them Tasks for newly partnered system 0 Identity Tasks I Conjugal Themes Married couples themes Themes are important because they direct our use of resources provide framework for meaning Negotiation process 0 Resources how they are used time energy money Conjugal Identities One becomes the activepassivefrugaletc one They get assigned Sets up a patternprocess organizes relationship Become enduring parts of who we are in those systems May not be fair Themes what you agree upon as a couple where you put your resources External Boundary Tasks Very few are going to be happy living our life with someone if their primary loyalty is not to us boundary issue 0 Family versus Partner Primary loyalties and Triangulation primary loyalty has to be your partner not your friends re neg with friends Men have harder time re negotiating quotwhippedquot when gives us friendships Make couple friends Friends versus Partner re negotiations Internal Boundaries balancing separateness versus connectedness 0 Need time to be alone when with someone routinescustoms where they need to do things together Patternsprocesses that reinforce view of being a couple but also enables you to do your own thing Has to be managed Maintenance Tasks o Housework roles women look for gestureexpression that they want to sharecommitted to minimizing the burden for them 0 Symbolic Significance of Household Roles Roles and counter roles 0 Role housework prescription for behavior associated with a particular identity or status and all roles exist in reciprocal pairs Impossible to enter a relationship wo having role expectations for how they should be carried out Roles and Identity Nurturance Tasks want to feel like you love and matter Communication and Intimacy 0 Management of Conflict manage it to promote intimacy o Dyadic sexual scripts 5 W s sex is both a physicalsymbolic activity Who Why making love versus having sex balance erotic aspect with intimate aspect What Everyone is going to be as sexual accommodating as we are ever going to be in the early stages of our bonding then shift Change when comfortable When frequency always goes down in relationships controlled by the one who is least interested in sex Where 11115 Communication and Intimacy Taskfor couples Establish communication to promote intimacy and manage conflict Communication Exchange of information in the form of messages Information is contained in symbols words and transactional patterns behavior Critical Questions 0 Does communication lead to intimacy Intention to comm to partner that you care for them conveyed through transactional patterns and words 0 Does intimacy inform the communication process Form follows function Form of communicationthe process follows what functions we have in mind when we re interacting with someone Goals can inform the process Intentional communication as opposed to ongoing exchange of messages Intentional communication is very important Axioms of Communication Axioms things we take as givens truths wo dispute 0 One cannot NOT communicate o All behavior is communication 0 All communication provides info about self others and relationship Content Message Words conveyed in communication quotI like your hatquot Meta Message Information conveyed through behavior and transactional processes 0 Qualifying meta messages qualify the content provide us with the info on how to takeunderstand the content messages tone of voice inflection 0 Identity meta messages 0 Relationship meta messages Framing what we contribute to the behavior meaning making process goes on in our heads Subjective Meaning attributed to behavior Misunderstandings possible Metacommunication ability to talk about the communication process Uniquely human Feedback If all communication conveys info about selfotherrelationship then it provides people with feedback about themselvestheir relationshipsetc 0 Confirmation conveys information that you value and respect someone o Rejection quotI don t like you I don t value youquot 0 Disconfirmation quotYou don t exist as far as I m concernedquot Patterns that promote Intimacy 0 Self Disclosures revealing personal information Rule of reciprocity 0 Transaction Management Regulate ourselves in a way that persistentlyconsistently conveys positive confirming feedback I Situational adaptability have to pick certain placestimes to talk about things 0 Conflict Management Patterns that undermine Intimacy o Misunderstandings A communication error that occurs at the interface bt meta messages and framing When misunderstood your partner contributes meaning to something you didn t intend I Typical Errors 0 Connection versus Control quotSo you re home latewhat s going onquot Creates anxiety anger confusion emotion Conversation styles driven by gender orientations feminine styles are less direct more inclusive more about connection more interested in prolonging process Masculine styles are about literalness answering questions being seen as independent smart etc I How to constructively manage misunderstandings Meta Communication quotWait there s a miss comm because I meant thisquot Owning up that the process is a pattern that may have miscommunication Have to accept the possibility that you re not right 11117 Conflict in Close Relationships It is not the conflict but how it is managed not necessarily damaging to relationships only damaging if managed poorly Conflict can t be avoided and presence of conflict does not mean the absence of satisfaction 0 O O O O O O O O O O Dyadic O 0 What couples fight about vs Why they fight They can fight about all kinds of issues that may not seem significant They give the socially acceptable answers when asked housework money children vs best way to cook hot dog best PB Underlying reasonsmotivations for conflict Role ConflithIdentity disruption role conflicts exist whenever idv have different expectations about how basic role tasks that must be managed in a relationship when they have different expectations as how they should be carried out I Disagreement w people having dif expectations on who should be carrying out tasks Becomes source of conflict when emotion gets interjected into a fight about the right way to do things Ex best way to clean a bathroom SeperatenessZConnectedness everyone has needs for companionship in close relationships expectations on howhow much we should get connected Also needs for seperateness time to do things we want alone Need balance Difficult to resolve these fights bc people get caught up in needsexpectations and compromises Justice IssuesZFairness and eguality Everyone has a subjective sense of what s fair your benefitsmy benefits Equity is the balance of benefits We expect both to benefit from relationship and they should be comparable No one should be overunder benefited Conflict is to restore equity How conflict is managed Focus on goals Form follows function Avoidance placatedenydistract some people just don t want to have conflicts made anxious Act in predictable way in conflict situations try to avoid placate agree Other feels like you re not listeningfrustratednot being heard Winning coercion and control to make sure your partner agrees with you and gives into you Strategic in what you say try to raise other s anxiety about themselves so they will give in you re fat unlovable ugly Winning is about exerting powercontrolling someone Intimacy confirmation and containment confirm relationship in midst offight Try to contain conflict to the issues at hand Ultimately get around to talking about what s important Typologies AvoidAvoid pseudomutuality Basically just consumed with anxiety about what would happen when you have conflict with one another Pseudomutuality appears mutual but it s fake just anxious AvoidWin complementary patterns one person avoiding other out to win common Complementary pattern one asserts a POV other gives in Person who wants to win often times gets more aggravatedagitated with the one who s avoided o AvoidIntimacy or PursueDistance One person takes a position in an effort to win other takes a counter position in order to win Each mirrors the other and escalates the conflict to win Someone has to stop for someone to win storming out slamming door Char by high possibility of escalating to violence 0 WinningIntimacy Also pursuingdistancing reslationsihp Person who is interested in winning is doing the pursuing intimate is saying things like quotI don t want to talk w you yelling at me until you calm downquot 0 IntimacyIntimacy Couples are not always perfect but when there are goals there tends to be containing and a reasonably high ration of positive to negative interactions Ultimately get around to acknowledging that there are issues 0 Martial Violence conflict management strategy 0 Factors associated with Martial Violence I Cultural norms changing digression on cultural norms and not gender norms I Personal characteristics feelings of inadequacy loss of control and viewing violence as an acceptable way to be dominant and powerful I Situational stress drugsalcohol work issues etc relationship with impulse control I Relational dynamics symmetrical and complementary variations 11119 Gottman Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse a consistent characteristic of distressed couples 0 Criticism vs conflict character attacksglobal complaints Begin conflict with direct criticism of partner I Criticism direct attack on the character of the person quotyou are quot that puts the person on the defensive I Complaint talking about an expectation on your part that has been violated Talks about how your partner has violated some expectation I ex someone is home late from work criticism quotyou re always late and complaint quotexplain to me whyquot I quotyou re a slobquot vs quotI think it would be nice on your part if you would pick up after yourself I you statements Contempt Defensiveness withdrawal Stonewalling withdrawal and apparent indifference towards the partner 0 15 1 bad conflict for every 5 interactions is OK Emotional disengagement a lack of positive affect Demonstrate little interest affection humor and concern for one another 0 Disengagement occurs with couples who end up failing other times 0 Parallel lives without much emotional engagement with one another Very little concern for one another Toxic breakup Flooding emotionally and physically overwhelmed physiological basis for this way 000 more common in men Emergency state during conflict Emotionalflooding feeling so emotionally and physiologically overwhelmed by the conflict you have with your partner Can t thinktalk rationally want to escape o More common in men gender socialization taught not to brace femininity Negative Reciprocity negativity per se is not as damaging as is symmetrical escalations 0 Successful couples resist the temptation to respond to negativity with a symmetrical level of negativity Conflict styles of happy couples 0 Validators confirmation and respect emphasize quotwequot over quotmequot Characterized by emotional disengagement missing real contact and connection 0 Volatile heated emotional express pos and neg emotions passionate warm affectionate to counter negativity AND rarely do their arguments contain the 4 horsemen o Avoiders emphasize the positive aspects of their relationship ignore negativity and if necessary agree to disagree Lots of conflict Intimacy v pseudo intimacy Solvable vs Unsolvable problems happy couples are not necessarily able to sole all disagreements OO o Unsolvable problems arise from fundamental personality cultural religious differences or essential needs of each partner Accepting influence describe EACH partner s willing to yield even a little during an argument in order for the relationship to win Yielding to win is not the same as compromising oneselffor the sake of another Turning toward emotional bids and the partners response to them 0 Turning towards quotoh that s coolquot quottell me about your day Turning away not really respondind quotuh yeah uhquot Turning against toxic quotstop bothering mequot Microexchanges contain within them as quotemotional bids bid to have partner acknowledge you and that you matter Rewriting the Past story you tell about how you metgot together has themes in it Couples re write it on how they feel now Unhappy couples negativity towards partner chaotic perceptions of relationship disappointmentdisillusionment Happy couples fondness and admiration awareness or love maps glorifying the struggle we ness OOO 11129 Middle Adulthood 4060 u Chronological versus Psychological Age 0 Psychological What age you feel you are psychologically speaking Influences how people live their lives spend energy contribute to society 0 Chronological actual biological age where you are in life 21 57 48 Physiological changes Psychological Ada ptions 9 Trajectory of Middle Adulthood 0 Figure out what s going on with them physiologically what s going on with body how their life is unfolding at this time Stage Specific sources ofanxiety mid life polarities Levinson Sheehy Erikson impact a persons development Polarity One Young vs Old 0 Behavioral slowing not able to do things you were once able to aware of changes 0 Women and changes in markers of youthfemininity menopause 0 Men and changes in markers of youthfemininity question youth Polarity Two Masculine vs Feminine 0 Gender convergence rejecting some of the traditions of masculinity and embracing some of femininity nurturing caring o Feminine women missing challenges want to be competitive 0 Both become more androgynous in their identity Polarity Three Attachment vs Separation 0 Attachment thinking about what you want to do with the rest of your life continue following path or deviate Costbenefits 0 Separation mid life divorce reaction to unhappiness compounded by feeling urgency of ticking clock mid life crisis mid life corrections feeling like they re back in control I quotat risk for crisis identity foreclosure at odds w themselves identity disruption Polarity Four erikson s psychosocial crisis Generativity versus Stagnation o Generativity making a commitment to the betterment of those you care about little league coach serve in group Find way to be 0 Stagnation people that are committed to themselves only narcissistic Central Process Person X s Environment and Creativity has to figure out how to be creative in the environment to be generative based on resources What Influences Generativity Cohort influences personal health financial well being personal circumstances of one s life health stress injustices brought forward from one s family of origin 12 1 Middle Adulthood Famil Tasks One of the most stressful periods ofthe family life cycle changes with child leaving coming back marriage re marriage children grand children aging parents death Family stage with the greatest number of exits and entrances stress and quotdevelopment stackingquot 0 quotDevelopment Stackingquot requires us to think about what is happening in all generations and how what is happening in one generation lines upstacks up with others Older gen require assistance 9 Stacks up on middle adult generation to take care ofthem ParentChild Issues 0 Parenting ofAdolescents managing individuation process Most stressful adolescents want more independence requires parents to give up authority 0 Launching of children less predictable filled with ambiguities quotempty nest syndrome heightened depressionmourning period when kids are launched 0 Managing parentchild relationships in post parenting years rework relationship with child transform personal authority with one another Requires parents to give up need to be parent children to give up need to be childparented Timing different by gender more quickly for males to individuate o Re nested child launched and came back More common today Why finances divorce medicalhealth issues having childrenbeing divorce Marital issues 0 Maintaining a vital relationship over time parents gt partners 0 Mid life extra martial relationship 0 Mid life divorce launching of children removes one of the major barriers to divorce factors that impact of stability re partnering patterns Intergenerational Issues 0 Grandparenthood occurs in mid life wide variety in structure Positive connections over time create opp for intergenerational connectionssupportgenerativity Negative connections over time increase likelihood of cross generational coalitions triangling and splits o Generational Squeeze Middle adult generation within a family squeezed between needs of aging members of family and needs of their own childrengrandchildren Women more than men I Our cohort will have very old parents and young children same time 1213 Later Adulthood and Very Old Age Later Adulthood 60 75 Very Old Age 75 until Death Age is a poor guide for understanding the unique developmental issues of people as they get older Development tasks re negotiate certain family roles new roles retired find meaningful activities to replace old time employment Aging Well physical health more than 80 of older adults have chronic condition psychological outlook more important Ageism stereotypicalprejudicia outlook of elderly Tend to be negative Age discrimination Group profiling old people the same annoying nagging age segregation different places for young old 0 Research shows that older women are viewed more positively than older men Women tend to have more positive attitudes towards elderly 0 Exists bc of lack of meaningful contact bt generations 0 Not cross cultural and not a dominant view in ALL places in US Views of elderly slow dangerous drivers isolated depressed irritable frail asexual physically unattractive annoying narrow minded Individuation Development Transitions o Behavioral Slowing Distinct from frailty implies some level of difficulty with activities of daily living 0 Frailty an identity disruption old not young no longer self sufficient Styles of Adjustment to Aging 0 Reorganizers substitute new activities for older ones well adjusted Focused limited to a few things and when they can t do those despair Disengaged withdraw from activities become sedentary 75 of people in those threequotquotquotquot Holding on push themselves to do what they did before admired from afar Constricted limit social activity to very narrow range ofthings become preoccupied with aging anxious try to protect from getting old Retirement 0 Financial preparation 0 Income 0 Choice identity disruption v choice voluntary or involuntary Life review 0 Preparing for death understanding it is inevitable reviewreflect on life personal meaning make most of time Erikson s Psychological Crisis Later Adulthood o Integrity vs Despair I Integrity ability to accept one s life without fear of death I Despair sense of regret life wrapped up w thinking aboutallowing it to get the best of you all of your failures you ve accumulated 0 Central process Introspection deliberate self evaluation Psychological Crisis Very old age OOOOO o Immortality vs Extinction I Immortality because we have made an impact on others and our communities we symbolically continue to live on I Extinction with death comes extinction because of not having made a difference 0 Central process social support being involved with a network of people encourages us to believe that we are caredloved for 12 6 Famil in Later Life Martial Issues 0 Re balancing boundary bt family and work in retirement Women live longer than men Work was a distance regulator now with someone all the time o Coping with the physical changes of aging behavioral slowing May need assistance in daily living Frailty lower reaction times 0 Frailty within marital system marital legacies and management of frailty Conjugal individuals and role counter role distinction I Caregiver care receiver Identity transformation Factors influencing role transitions knowledge of the role whether or not the role is desired or wanted social support available clarity of the role Intergenerational Issues in Later years 0 Managing the frailty of one s parents most cared for by family more care by spouses than children More often daughters than sons socialized to be nurturing warm supportive also daughter in laws more likely than sons Sons are more coordinators coordinate finances mechanicals Daughters are hands on Caregivers are stressedburdened but also rewarded o StructureExperiences of Caregivers looked at from a family development pers I Legacy of relationship bt fail elderly and childrenbirth gtdeath of parent I Holmes Typology 0 Mutual Relationship when history of rel char by mutual respectsupport parents transform relationship role overload work hard to meet everyone s needs feel burdened Hierarchalpassive relationship elderly parents still hierarchal parents are powerparent figure kids still children Kids seem comfortableaccepting of positions Hierarchalrebellious relationship parent try to assert authority over child not willing to give up being dominant parent Rebellious kid try to rebel in adolescent way fight with parent High conflict anger resentment distancing Not willing to be caregivers Orchestratemanage when caregivers not hands on 1218 Dissolution As a Trajectory Altering Event 0 National divorce rate hovers near 40 for new marriages for almost 20 yrs 0 As many as 40 of all children will experience divorce of their parents and spend an average of 5 yrs in single parent household before their custodial parent remarries Divorce begins a series of events 75 of divorced women and 80 of divorced men remarry Women remarry at a much slower pace 90 of divorced men remarry about 2 years after splitting up Factors mediating the decision to leave 0 Satisfaction versus distress conflict does not mean dissatisfaction Presence of extreme distressunhappiness doesn t always result in divorce 0 Dependence Relationship Distress Negative sentiment over ride fed up with someone that it doesn t matter what they do you frame it negatively no hope no future Relationship Dependence 0 Alternatives if you believe you have alternatives and are distressed in marriage you will separate If you think no alt you ll stay inc single as an alternative Barriers costs of dissolution financial emotional financial considerations moralreligious convictions Catholic divorce as a sin obligations to children family and social network considerations not just unhappiness Reason for rapid increase in divorce rates since 1970 0 Changes in women s economic status changes in wives dependence on their husbands individual progresses women get more access to resources education changes in women s educational achievements widespread availability and improvements in contraception ability to limit family size Impacts on Adults of dissolution of lifetime partnerships o For some there is relief for many others there is separation distress widespread generalized anxiety that people are overwhelmed with a result ofa breakup and disruption of their lives Factors contributing to separation distress 0 Loss of attachments erosion of trust greater for those who had been cheated on or deceptive relationships identity disruptions quot married to quot rework anxiety associated with family system reorganizations redefinereorganize boundaries stabilize family s emotional environment re establish strategies for management and finances custody issues co parent relationship Indicators of successful adaption with adults 0 Acceptance that the marriage has ended takes time impact of reorganization Ability to make peace with ex never ready to move on if you still talk about ex Establish a realistic appraisal of one s own contribution to the break up never just other person s fault look objectively Examine one s reasons for originally choosing mate Accept one s contributions to the dysfunctional interaction patterns 00 O OO 0 Explore how one s FoO experiences may have played a role in the marital struggles look for support you didn t get as a child 0 What keeps ex s from continuing conflict or making peace 0 Gender issues 0 Holes in development 12110 Death the Final Frontier o Kubler Ross Emotional Stages orderpredictable O O O Denial defense mechanism that allows us to function in the face of anxiety provoking experience youth and health are factors in degree of denial short term Anger quotwhy mequot feeling like you re robbed of chance to experience life energizing emotion as long as they don t just concentrate on ganger comes from loss of control Bargaining religious and spiritual try to bargain with supreme being to get back their life attempt to hang on to hope quotIf I get thru thus I ll quot Depression Comes from the feeling of hopelessness Acceptance Not everyone gets the acceptance more likely to get to acceptance if were generative and have integrity Debatable if everyone goes thru these reactions in sequence Reasonable to expect a large percentage does 0 Genstalt Perspective All co exist just one is visible or in foreground any point 0 The reactions of Individuals to the death ofanother O Grief an experience ofan individual who lost someone they were close to When someone is grieving there is a variety of emotions that is possible for them to be experiencing simultaneously anger relief despair sadness I Universal and even apparently experienced by animals I Provides one with an opp to come to terms with their sense of loss I Many often contradictory emotions experienced by the grieving depression sadness anger joy I Takes time to work through I Why feel grief anxiety death disrupts our illusion of control over life forces us to think of our own mortality 0 Family System Responses reverberates thru family system 0 Factors influencing how family system reacts O O O O O FamilyculturaIreligious context levels of social support that provide support while dealing with the death of a person ethnic tradition it matters that people show up for you Nature ofdeath how and suddenness natural v accident unsanctioned death stress family more drug overdose suicide miscarriage HIV no support I Easier if it s expected 9 opportunity to anticipate event sanctioned die from natural causes uncontrollable circumstances naturally feel sorry don t judge families vs unsanctioned death reflects behavior of person who died perhaps judge family overdose suicide Positionclarity dif functional roles of dif people how central person is to family usually moms are center History oflosses quotpile up sometimes losses come in bunches creates more pressure Look timing between deaths how previous deaths were managed Timing where in family cycle generational position of deceased 0 Timing illustrations Young children unexpected guilt 80 of couple s divorce High percent of parents of young children that if young child dies go get divorced becomes barrier to experience intimacy Adolescence natural or unexpected top accident homicide suicide illness impacts on other children problem children Murder 1 Adult in prime different reorganization based on gender aso need to consider impact on children most profound for younger the children Motherswomen set up much more stable of living when loss of partner Men remarryrepartner very quickly Elderly less stressful more expected Women live into 60 s and 80 lose husbands spend rest of life alone don t repartner When men are widowed much less frequent among elderly 90 or so remarry as fast as 1 2 years pool of eligibles HDFS FINAL EXAM REVIEW MAIN IDEAS Early Adulthood o Intimacy love Vs Isolation I Central Process 9 Mutuality o In a relationship you don t picture partner to change them and you don t change yourself Joy based love is based on passion and happiness Anxiety based love is based on fear Middle adulthood 0 4060 0 Generatively concerned with others future vs Stagmation narcissistic9most adults Comparison level comparing ex bf with current bf and having alternatives bf o If alternative seem better than what I have then u break up and go with them 0 A relationship is not based on alternatives Cohabitation a test of seeing if the can live together and have a kid preparation for marriage Identity tasks for partner 0 Congical theme is what is important to the and it includes how they are going to spend timemoney I Congical identity no caring about who is going to take care of the money 0 Boundary tasks I A limit that separates on thing from a another usually information I Like if the get into a fight are they going to tell people about 0 This is to prevent family issues I Internal boundary for couples is separateness and togetherness 0 Figure how much time they are going to spend together or apart 0 Avoid neglecting each other As couples age they replace their single friends with couples Depends on how fights are managed The person least interested in sex will control the frequency Communication and intimacy are bidirectional o If u r not intimate u don t communicate and vice versa Communication is no just verbal there is tone and body language Metarnessage o How a message is expressed 0 Framing is going to be how u tilt that message Self disclosure 0 Couples tell each other personal thing about each other 0 If one partner isn t sharing as much the other is going to feel under appreciated Control versus misunderstanding Three goals of con ict management 0 Win 0 Avoid 0 Intimacy Avoid avoid 0 They don t talk about it and they think everything is ne when it is not Winwin 0 They don t stop arguing until one person gives up Winavoid 0 When one wins but the other still feels anxious Intimacyintimacy 0 End of the day they are dedicated to talking about underlining issues Four horseman of the apocalypse I When these four things happen then the relationship is doomed o Criticism I When the person attacks the person not the issues 0 Complain I Person attacks the issue not the person 0 Contempt I When criticism leads to this the person won t be able to stand the person 0 Stonewallingwithdrawal I They ignore the person and they act like the person doesn t matter Emotional disengagement Happens after the four horsemen of the apocalypse Man are more likely to ood because they are not as open to their emotions as women are 0 Successful relationship allows that break Negative reciprocity o Couple continue to chaopp at each other by sayin negative thing Symetrical escalation o Continues to top eeach other 0 She calls him stupid he calls her a hoe She slaps hin he punches her she takes the kids and leave Cronicalgical age 0 What u really are Psychological age 0 What u fell u r LATE ADULTHOOD l Integritty face death without fear life made a difference vs Despair regret about life a Central prpcess introspection reminiscing about life familyfriends really impoartant 0 They feel old and go through thing that changes their body 0 More divorce when older because barriers for staying are gone 0 The kids r goine o The women has enough money to leave 0 The tendency for the middle age men and women to opposite gender 0 Fraility vs behavior slowing o Frailty 9when u cant do things for ur self 0 It is seen as negative when old people need help 0 Three styles to adjusting to old age 0 Focusing I If they cant play anymore they tennis anymore they r not going to do anything 0 Reorganizes I Understands what level they r at and they substisutes activities 0 Holding on I In denial and will continue doing activity even if they cant do it they r going to try 0 Introspection o A life review 0 Person sitting down and thinking about their life 0 Grandparents telling stories about their life 0 Wives spouses care for the frailold o If not they r put into elderly homes 0 Home typology o Hierarchacal passive I A daughter is her mothers caregiver and she is going out of her way to still please her mother I They put all other obligations aside just to care for their parent 0 Hierarchacal rebellious I Make kid feel like teenage I They care recieverstil wants to feel autonomous o Mutualal I There is a respectful relationship I Even tough they r burdend they get reward Very Old Age 85 Death Immortalty Vs Extinction so does person feel they will symbollically live on Central process social support I Ron would say that th elderly ar NOT receiving this Go through the stages in different patterens Cant predict how someone is going to react when they are told they have cancer Difference bewteen unsanctioned death and sanctioned death Sanctioned o Seen as a real death I Aids Unsanctione Not seen as a real death 0 Miscarriage Key to successful grieVing 0 Social support HDFS 1070 Exam 1 Notes 82093 Theory an explanation for something we observe happening with some regularity Life Span Development Theory Explain how individuals grow the way they do analyze the individual and how they develop How to understand the trajectory of individual development over time 0 Learn it to learn how to intervene when needed 0 Need a working understanding of how a person develops psychologically and socially to know when to intervene Nature Genetics things you are born with Nurture Environment 0 Both nature and nurture are important influence one another through development 0 Mutual Influence what is genetic changes the environment and the environment changes how the child develops ex 12 year old 6 h grade girl matures faster gets 36c cups changes environment because she is different than other girls Central Tendencies what typically happens Developmentalcontextual perspective on lifespan development Bronfenbrenner Lerner Assumptions of DevelopmentalContextual Perspective 0 Potential for growth exists at all stages of life 0 Continuity and change Epigenetic Principle predetermined vs probabilistic I Always a certain degree of continuity in how people s lifespan evolves I Early developments that occur in a person s life serve as a platformfoundation for later development but they are no guarantee that later development is going to occur how we think I Developments at earlier stages are likely to result in developments of a certain course at later stages but other factors might intervene that results in a shift in that trajectory 0 Importance of Context I Environment I Everything from political values in country school systems neighborhoods family friends all are a part of the environment that shapeinfluence us 0 Context is Grounded in time I History and time is important I Time what is going on in history as it interacts with how old we arewhere we are in developmental stages Basic Model Overview 0 Individual contributions Genetics individual traits characteristics temperamental predispositions quotconstructions of reality Metacognition thinking about thinking about things 0 EnvironmentalConditions 93 Bronfenbrenner s Ecological Systems 0 Macro System Referring to cultural value orientations I Different culture because of the values they embrace influence how we develop because we live within the culture so we are influenced by the broader values in that culture I Example Differences in quotIndividualism vs Collectivism continuum some cultures are individualistic some collectivistic results in dif policiespractices collectivistic collecting wealth for common good etc Egalitarianism vs Hierarchy how power and authority is distributed within a society 0 ExoSystem Influences I PoliciesPractices within the major institutions of society schools government church healthcare etc I Ex school has policy that teachers teach abstinence only as education this is your knowledge and info you get from school 0 MesoSystem Influences I Relationships among the different systems of influence wind up influencing your trajectory of developmentyour environment I Ex Your parents dislike the school system and your teacher thinks you need remedial math help parents dismiss it because they can t stand the teacher so the student doesn t get the remedial help Influenced by the relationship between parent and teacher TimeChronosystem 0 Historical events that occur over time and events we experience personally over time both have impact on trajectory of development 0 Cohort group of people who experience a similar history born in similar range of time Q Normative historygraded event have a profound effect on all of society depression world war economic collapse I For our cohort September 11 changed political factors first black president hurricane Katrina 0 Normative sociocultural graded event shifts in formal laws and policies that changed the policiespractices in the major institutions of life civil rights act 98 Defining features of a family shared sense of history some degree of emotional bonding strategies for meeting the needs of family members managing tasks etc 0 Needs family responsible for meeting needs across all domains of development physical cognitive socialmoral biological emotionalpsychological Structure ofa Family 0 Composition I Form nuclear hybrid single family blended etc I Family of origin influences you the most I Pay attention to but limit our understanding of why the family is unique 0 Rules governing how tasks are managed I Patterns and dynamics you find within a family influence you I Rulesstrategiesrituals about things like dinner time where to sit what to talk about how it goes who cleans up etc I How members interact are way more important than who makes up the family Tasks 0 Family is a taskperforming group 0 Every interaction with family members is related to some task that family is executing What accounts for diversity 0 Divorceremarriage rates divorce changes in family reorganization 0 Out of wedlock birth rates may or may not have biological parents in lives last year 40 born out of wedlock of that 20 to teenagers o Cohabitation rates High pattern of cohabiting in US before marriage 0 Cultural acknowledgment of gaylesbian acknowledged in courts that represent social trendthen assimilated into mainstream culture Structural properties of families 0 Wholeness whole is greater than the sum of the parts defined by the relationships among the different members Relationships over time are important to pay attention to 0 Organizational complexity family is made up of subsystems each is uniqueinfluences the whole Subsystems husbandwife parentchild sibling grandparent o Interdependence what happens in one member of the family system reverberates through the whole family system ex birth of child changes relationships in family 0 Strategies rules customs how the family divides its strategies establishes rules devises customs for executing certain tasks 0 Tasks Two types of family system tasks 0 Firstorder tasks Identity tasks boundary tasks maintenance tasks managing the emotional climate 0 Secondorder tasks Constellation of identity tasks O 0 Family themes resources and themes time energy moneyhow they are used makes the family unique perfection working hard competition race ethnicity religion Critical personal images Family myths sometimes they decide identities aren t true myth creates a developmental dilemma for the individuals within the family subjected to those myths limit what you can doexpose you to other things pressure I You get assigned images smart one baby responsible athlete musical destined to succeed idiot everyone agrees on who you are in the family becomes your early identity Biosocial tasks Socialization to sex gender etc carried out in family through patterns within a family I Gender understanding of how you are supposed to act as boygirl I Sexuality understanding of your sexual person how you re supposed to act as malefemale 910 Boundary Tasks Regulating Connections 0 External Boundaries open versus closed open free flow of information closed communicates an image of not trusting outsiders not believing what they have is valuable to you needs to be a distinction between who is in the family and who isn t 0 Internal boundaries thought of being as a continuum enmeshed ltgt disengaged Tolerance for autonomy for differentness Think of your family as having a tolerance level for how much autonomy you are allowed I Enmeshed very little tolerance for autonomyindividuality everybody involved in your businessconcerned about regulating your life I Disengaged parents don t care what s happeningaren t involvedaren t connected Sending message that you don t matter we don t care about you Maintenance Tasks 0 Housekeeping Flexibility underorganized overorganized o Finances symbolic significance of money 0 Pay attention to what is communicated through the strategies that are adopted for the execution of these tasks Managing the Emotional Climate o Nurturance conveyed through patterns of communication and behavior at meta level how people interact with each other I All behavior in communication messages and metacommunication I Framing our subjective interpretation of what someone has communicated to use through their behavior Interpretation of someone else s metacommunication 0 Connection If there is disconnect then miscommunication creates tension in relationship can result in individuals not feeling nurtured 0 Control lots of misunderstanding when an attempt to connect is taken as an attempt to control ex where are you going after school Who Etc 0 Communication is exchange of information in form of messages I MetaMessage conveyed through how we communicate with someone 0 Conflict can promote connection if managed right but can raise anxiety Certain customs to reduceamplify anxieties in families I Contained versus uncontained Contained stays between people who have the conflict uncontained is when they go to someone else and complains puts pressure to take sides manifests triangulation 913 Family Functioning class broad issues and concerns that must be addressed by all modelsviews on family functioning 0 Must address I What we will take as evidence that the family has problems I Why someone individuals are impacted more than others I How patterns of functioning are transmitted over time I Must account in some way for different types and degrees of developmental impairment The Functional Continuum optimal midrange impaired 0 Bowen and lIILCIU 39 39r r 39 offamily U I Anxiety that affects you comes from within family mostly how families process either support developmental of individuals that minimizes anxiety or how they result in a buildup ofanxiety in people I 3 basic sources of anxiety trust competence mattering whether we matter or not I Family system differentiation property of family systems exists on a continuum tolerantdifferentness tolerant for difference that exists in a family patterns and processes related to the tolerance of difference 0 Well differentiated well functioning 0 Poor differentiated poor functioning o Differentiation Continuum reflected in how boundary nurturance conflict management and identity development processes are managed within the family I Boundary processes within well versus poorly differentiated systems 0 Well differentiated present but not intrusive o Boundaries are structured where individual differences are tolerated but they do not necessarily intrusive where they let you be an individual 0 Poorly Differentiated extremes of enmeshmentfusion or disengagement 0 quotSo whatquot extreme of noninvolvement raises anxiety about where you matter 0 When boundaries are overly fused anxiety levels about competence are up I Nurturance Customs within well versus poorly differentiated systems 0 Nurturance and empathic responsiveness keys to being empathically responsive 0 Everyone acts nonempathically some of the time Well differentiated tendency toward Poorly differentiated no one responds OOO Inverse relationship between anxiety and empathy 0 Parents with high anxiety produce children w high anxiety I Conflict Management in well vs poorly differentiated systems 0 Conflict s a pathway to understanding and empathy o Crossgenerational coalitions and triangulation you re left wondering about things like what people think of you 0 When conflict is well managed stays between those with conflict I Identity customs in well vs poorly differentiated systems 0 Parental anxiety and how identity issues are managed o Parent s anxiety about competency gets caught up in them micromanaged kid s lives tendency to fuseproject what they think they should be doingthinkingacting 0 Respect individuality ageappropriate individualism fuse or cut off Multigenerational transmission process partner selection processes and unfulfilled needs parenting process we re anxiousless likely to be empathicproject more on kids Parental Projection Process 0 Overly protect child that makes parent feel anxious o Overly reject child that raises parents anxiety 0 Vicariously live through child 915 Epigentic principle refers to the fact that developments at one stage in life serve as a foundation for development in later stages of life Genetic code of the individual and hisher trajectory of development established at conception Mutual regulation genetics influence your traits and characteristics you regulate the environment and the environment regulates you Gene portion of DNA that codes for one heredity characteristic occupies specific place on chromosome Genotype all your genes together established at conception Phenotype Physical manifestation of underlying genes observable inherited eye color etc Sex genetically coded born male or female Gender socially acceptable behaviors associated with a certain sex ideas and expectations Individual Traits Body type hair color eye color height Birth Anomalies 35 0 Miscarriages more fetuses genetically altereddamaged than born with anomalies people who lost them are mourning lost of idealized baby when early in pregnancy not viable because of a genetic issue Temperament vague idea that we are born with certain behavioral and emotional pre dispositions 0 Activity level rhythmicity biological patters hunger sleep etc approachwithdrawal sociabilityshyness intensity to reaction of r 39 quot39 Goodness of fit between temperament and caregiver s expectations Kaiserpermanent study 0 Teaching parents about temperament helps them understand uniequness 0 Study of thousands parentschildren 2 groups 1 taught about temperament 1 not found parents with knowledge felt better about themselvesmore competent 917 Optimal age for having babies 1835 Age of parent 0 Teen moms 1 million babies each year 95 out of wedlock 0 Older moms fertility treatments one gen ago all women done by 27 probability of Downs child goes up Prenatal Care supervise your care nutrition weight gain exercise minimize exposure to toxins Nutrition Weight gain 2030 need more calories Teratogens toxin to fetus timing concept of critical periods amount genetic vulnerability protective strategies ta ken o Nicotine alcohol psychoactive drugs etc Maternal Stress mothers who are highly stressed throughout pregnancy changes brain chemistry impacts on complications of labor and delivery 920 infancy birth Developmental tasks skills and competencies expected during infancy necessary for later development sequentially platform for later development Physical Domain 0 Physically primed to socially interact with caregivers elicit responses from them 0 At risk for not eliciting caregivers babies born addicted to drugs brain damage premature physically different Emotional Domain 0 Anxiety nervous tension hungry frightened etc develop range of emotions in response to primary anxiety 0 Joy comforting touchfednurtured manifests in contentmentpleasureexcitement Emotions are key for communication between childcaretaker o Understandreduce anxieties expressed in different vocalizationsnon verballyphysicallyverbally Cognitive Domain 0 Piaget s Theory of Cognitive Development I Genetic epistemology development of study of knowledge interested in how knowledge develops how cognitive abilities develop Organismic model physical maturation experiences that stimulate cognition hypothesizes that physical development and experiences with the environment are necessary to produce development 0 Biological maturation experiences cognitive adaptations Cognitive Adaptations gradual modifications of existing structures of knowledge Process of Adaption assimilation fit reality into basic understanding disequilibrium assume bc we don t understand a kids brain accommodation understanding Stages of cognitive development characterized by acquisition of distinct mental schemes 0 Sensorimotor adaptations basic idea that sensory and motor experiences provide cognitive stimulation needed to acquire mental schemes preoperational thought concrete operations formal operations SchemesPrimary Mental Concepts 0 Primary Causality foundation of all logiccause and effect relationships egocentric think they cause everything 0 Object permanence classification abilities once they understand mom and dad are permanent objects prefer them 68 months 0 Acquired in infancy not present at birth 922 social developments in infancy Infant Attachment form social attachments to caretakers preference for certain one reduction in anxiety 0 Mastered object permanence Dad exists when not present 610 mons Know object permanence is occurring 0 Stranger anxiety get anxious when not their attached individual 0 Separation distress 0 Social referencing get mobile crawling they reference back to individual visual checking in Types of Attachment Bowlby Ainsworth o Continuum from secure to insecure 0 Secure I Able to calm themselves when left more comfortable movie out of environmentaway from attached people less stress able to selfsooth ex I can go out there and trust that the person is going to be back 0 Insecure I AnxiousAvoidant indifferent to their person leaving angry at being left tend to not plwy well with others after they re left agitated disruptive kid runs away when momdad come back or runsmack them I Anxiousresistant resisting separation clinging extremely distressed cry and upset when left can t soothe themselves tacklecling to mom when she s back I Disorganized 39 dll5l 39 clingy 39 jump on momsometimes kick her when separated social functioning is disrupted not able to playconcentrate 0 Factors Influencing Attachments I Parental sensitivity parental bonding 0 Quality of interaction gender of baby disabilities planned or not family constellation I Cultural factors I Caregivers Personal Histories o How they were raised maturity mental health careers expectations I InfantCharacteristics I Contextual Sources of supportstress 0 Ex dad lost job grandma got sick Importance of Attachment can change expect some consistency Shaver and Hazan Adult Attachment Styles 0 Preoccupied Exaggerated desire for closeness dependence on others concerned with being rejected clingy O Dismissing independent selfreliance low in trust deny they need relationships 0 Fearful desire closeness fear of being rejected avoid intimacy distance themselves 924 psychosocial theory Personality orientations different emotional wellbeing and contentment Big 5 Personality Traits o Openness vivid imagination full of ideas contemplative o Conscientiousness Like order always prepared follow a schedule 0 Extroversion comfortable around people talkative center of attn o Agreeableness sympathetic take time for others 0 Neuroticism easily disturbed worry easily anticipateexpect worst Peoples sense of well being life satisfaction contentment experiences of joy Erikson s Psychosocial Theory 0 Theory explanation for something we observe observe people have dif personality traits o Psychosocial development is influenced by the anxiety that results from the unique interaction between inner biological needs and social expectations and demands AND how anxiety is managed how manifests in personality dispositions source ofanxiety is social expectationsdemands o Psychosocial stages I At critical points in life we need to develop psychological resources personality dispositions that impact subsequent development need to develop certain psychological resources earlier stages are bases for later stages 0 Psychosocial crisis I Conflict between stage specific social quot quot and r 39 39 g39 39 needs create anxiety problems if not managed well ex skills you need to master as an adolescent llwhat are you doing with your lifequot identity pressure 0 Central Processes for Resolving the crisis I Certain things that need to be in place to help individual manage crisis well 0 Coping Behavior I Ability to gainprocess new information maintain control over one s emotional state move freely within one s environment vs anxiety about self excessive fears I You accumulateacquire different coping behaviors that manifest in your personality I Two basic forms 0 Primeadaptive ego qualities 0 Influence with how you managecope with stress good coping behaviorsresources help us cope well through life 0 Core Pathologies 0 Become barriers to successful management of life stresses coping behaviors that interfere with ability to cope disruptive Psychosocial Crisis of Infancy 0 Trust versus Mistrust manifested when crying placing a demand on babies that they learn to trust that their needs will be met Central Process 0 Mutuality with Caregivers I Understand needsmanage them for baby if persistentlyconsistently then baby gets a trusting disposition if not baby develops things that undermine later development I Coordination first part I Mismatch no pair of infantcaregivers are perfect I Communication repairs Coping behaviors 0 Successful coping with the crisis leads to the development of Prime Adaptive of Ego Qualities I Hope develop hopefully outlook on life when basic needs are met 0 Unsuccessful coping leads to development of Core Pathologies I Withdrawal from challenges pessimist 0 Degrees of hope and withdrawal 927 transition to parenthood During transition identities transformed new roles assumed family system rules adjusted Family system transitions coupe has to rework patterns or recreation and companionship seperateness v connectedness Familysystem stress events in their lives that raise their anxiety levels pressure placed on family system to alter its rules and strategies always associated with an event 0 Horizontal stressors events that occur over time that families experience some normative birth ofa childschoolmarriage stacked upon nonnormative ex hurricane car accident 0 Vertical stressorshistorical legacy of familyresults in various patterns of emotional cnnt results in various historical tensions andor supports being present within family I Refers to the business of the family throughout generations that factor into how the family manages the horizontal stressor events that are occurring Coping resources ex knowledgeinformation historical patterns of supportconnection socially supportive network Adaptations of coping o Morphostasis process of adjusting by keeping the existing rules in place results in no change tends to add stress ex family plans sex for 8pm thurs regardless of baby 0 Morphogenesis rules and customs transformed Pregnancy and Parenthood vertical stressors how they are managed is some function of the coping resources available within the family as they interact with vertical stressors present Identity tasks shifting family themes taking on identity of quotmomquot and quotdadquot External boundaries 0 adjusting connections to family members opportunities for grandparents to step into their role changing relationships with sistersbrothersextended kin o reworking ties with friends need to be more focused on child than social life meet commitment to childfamily o seeking out information and support more complicated manage tension about sources Internal boundaries 0 Reworking patterns of separateness amp connectedness can t do thing on ur own as much Maintenance Tasks quottraditionalizing effectquot of babies housework patterns tend to fall into more traditional gendered ways Maintaining emotional culture 0 Anxiety stress emotional support and empathic responsiveness inverse relationship between personal stress and empathic responsiveness 0 Relationships between expectations and complaints change our expectations of how we want partners to act complaint when a person s behavior fails to match your expectation o Reworking sexual relationship not just physicality but about connection as a couple reworked across pregnancy and parenthood 0 New patterns of recreation and companionship 929 taking on parenting roles Role prescription for behavior associated with a particular status expectations for behavior 0 Reciprocal roles for every role there is a counter role understanding how the other expects us to act and how we expect the other to act NurturanceResponsiveness parents need to figure out how they are going to nurture their kids how responsive they are going to be Controldemandingness control regulatrion of behavior Determinants of parenting styles Belskey of how parents enact their role as being a parent 0 Cultural Context cultural differencestraditions that track back to ethnic origins I Ex good or bad idea to let baby sleep in bed babies in US sleep 2 less hours 0 Cohort and historical era I Cohort people grouped together by when they were borngoing on in history I Ex in 50 s practically no one breastfed bc thought formula was better or fed baby on schedules 0 Developmental history of parent how you were parented affects how you parent I Destined to parent your children in reaction to how you were parented use same strategies or change 0 Characteristics of child ex temperament activity level sex of child physical characteristics when they mature o Contextual source of stress stress and empathic responsiveness is inverse familymarriagejobcommunity gets in way of them being responsive or using good judgment 0 Contextual sources of support not always family don t have a commitment to put supports in place of others ways Qualitative differences between mother and father 0 CareSupervision versus playstimulation mothers provide caresupervisionoversight fathers provide more stimulationplay 0 Consequences of gender norms child looks at mom and dad differently Factors influencing father involvement 0 Mediation rule of father involvement mediated through the relationship that father has with mother mother s involvement is mediated through the relationship 0 Maternal gatekeeping llthis is how you do itquot lldon t do it that way do it this dayquot dad doesn t like being looked over shoulder distance themselves because mom s assume they are more competant HDFS 1070 Exam 2 Guide Toddler Years 24 p I 39TasksrI 39 39 of39 symbolically language development social control control bodies fantasy and play think Dominant themes in toddlerhood self assertion and mastery Locomotion needed for self assertion and mastery Fantasy thinking symbolically o Semiotic Thinking use of mental symbols wordsobjects to stand for something else DVD as steering wheel chairs as trains cave with blankets o Scaffolding building on what toddler provides you kid wants landing strip in back yard quotoh is there room for helicoptersquot Play facilitates development of cognitive and social skills Cognitive play symbolic 0 Social progressions From parallel to social with others around to cooperating learn social skills cooperation deal with conflictjealousyleaders Parents engage in two types of play Sociable girls and Active boys LAD Language Acquisition Device Born with ability to abstract out of environment the meaning of words and rules for the use of language 0 One word utterances around 1 year meaning depends on context used repeatedly 0 Two word sentences 1820 mos Telegraphic speech around small of consistently used words 0 Age three rapid expansion of competenceperformance use of structural rules overgeneralization quotgoedquot Basic points Onset is maturational cognitivephysical linguistic competence precedes linguistic performance lang rich environments promotes both competence and performance scaffolding prompting 1016 Toddlerhood Cont Dominant theme vs Social control Psychosocial Crisis Erikson s Characterization of this crisis kids are too little to be taught the skills they need to acquire them on their own through imitation Crisis Autonomy vs ShameDoubt o Autonomy want to do it themselves o If successfully managed kids develop a comfortconfidence with being autonomous If not they develop anxieties about their abilities to do things feel shamedoubt o Doubt feel anxious about their confidence 0 Shame see themselves as a failure in the eyes of other believe we are a failure Central process Imitation Kids need to acquire skills on their own model it and let them imiate Prime Adaptive Ego Quality Will Inner determination persistence nLi r L y A to act new tasksmu iCLy 7 Parenting Toddiers Two primary tasks 0 Deveiopment of Individuation Enhancing Styie of Parenting Promotes autonomy 4 J J v v A maintain 39 V V VJ I s W v V autonomymastery baiance presenceintrusiveness ex teach kids to ride bike hoid baiance heip guide iet go o Deveiop strategies for discipiine o Individuation Inhibiting Styies of Parenting 39 Expeiiing promotes anxiety about mattering ex quothere s a bike Go do it 39 Binding promotes anxiety about competence overiy present and intrusive ex not trusting kid to ride bike Kidstry to push parents away 7 Discipiine teaching kidsto behave appropriateiy iearn rightwrong r Baumrind39s Styie of Discipiine two dimensions of parenting o Responsiveness high pay attn to you communicate that you matter encourage you to matter responsive to needs iow don t care what needs are on your own 0 Demandingness high do it this way I need you to do it I set the ruies iow no expectations for you and don39t care if you meet them 7 ParentingDiscipiineStyies o Authoritarian high in demandingness iow in responsiveness physicai i i J i u i i u i they teii you to do tend to use physicai assertions o nduigent high in responsiveness iow in demandingness want kids to iove us and don39t want to reguiatecontroi them kids grow up wo iimits o Uninvoived iow in 39 iow in 39 39 39 39 aquot do whateverthey want don39t respond to emotionai needsfeeiings o Authoritative high in 39 hi h in i i A i W discipie promote emotionai inteiiigence expiain rightwrongseparate behavior from chiid judicious quotI iove you but that was wrong quothere are my expectationsconsequences if you don39t foiiow You have the choice 7 Goals of Discipline 1018 Child Abuse Judgments of Abuse and Values Intersubjectivity establishes the cultural norms at any given point in time Incidences 5 kids killedday by parental figures guess more than 3mil kids abusedneglected each year a lot is silentcovered up Types ofabuse physical emotional neglect sexual abuse all on a continuum No one cause for child abuse derives from many causes Societal factors societal comfort with aggression and violence societal comfort with use of force and coercion our society is private leave fam issues at home Child factors bidirectional relationship bt char of children and parenting strategies ex difficult temperaments disabilitiesspecial needs aggressiveness Children misbehave in attempt to solve one of their problems Parental factors history of mental illness unrealistic expectations history of abuse concurrent problems drugalcohol stress and impulse control workfinancialmarital stress Family System factors high levels of marital conflict patterns of conflict management that promotes scapegoating detouringattacking triangles Child is scapegoatblamed conflict bt parents or parentsgrandparents is detoured to scapegoating child Consequences of Abuse 0 10 11 Earl Resilient Children possess temperaments that elicit positive responses from others may have special intereststalents can compensate for what parents are doing intelligent and have good problem solving skills someone to connect to T I 39 quot 39 quot quot quot quot 4quot quot39 deficits in social behavior deficits in prosocial behavior emotional difficulties Compensators appear to be doing well externally but internally have high levels of anxiety that manifest in shame internalize shame driven to prove that they are not lovableworthy always imagining that others are seeing them as unlovable School Years 58 rou hl Developmental Tasks Gender ID Self TheorySelf Esteem Early Moral Development Peer Play Gender DSchema Aware of biological sex at 4 years old intrigued O O 0 Gender ID understanding of how we re supposed to act as a boygirl Sociological learn through symbolicsocial interactions w significant others Sexual Orientation has to do with orientation towards sexual partners Gendered Expectations Attitudes expectations values that might be taught O O O quotquot quot 39 Active39 persistent Femininity emotional helpful sensitive caring socialoriented Androgyny high in masculinity and femininity Acquisition Process differences bt males and females are due to social not biological factors Each culture has its own traits it expects from malesfemales Social Learning Theory repeat behaviors that are positively reinforced get rid of negatively reinforced behaviors o Reinforcement as shaper of learning I Schedules of reinforcement intermittent is good enoughpersistent 0 Social approval as reinforcement overtly quotgood boygirl that s the way to do itquot covertly might pick out to wear ways of affection learn how you should behave o ObservationImitation Vicarious reinforcement driven by desire to obtain approval SocializationRadius of Significant others 0 Parents Motherfathering communicate mothering caring nurturing fathering problemsolving o Housework patterns and gender narrower activities for boys 0 Peers worst thing for boy is quotyou re acting like a girl 0 Teachers treat boys and girl differently 0 Toys girlboy aisle messages of approvaldisapproval 0 Media LifeSpan Trajectory Implications 0 Educational boys more mathematical women are more caretaking Career implications women caretaking teaching men business math Economic professors of chemistry engineering math make more than English etc SocialPsychological boysmen and anger primary anxiety secondary emotion anger Boysmen more anxious towards homosexuals 0000 Girls and objectification body image issues 10 13 Earl Childhood and Self Theo Self Esteem evaluation emotional judgment you place on yourself Self Efficacy belief in your ability to master tasks overall sense of competence Self Esteem Continuum o Relatively high SE likingloving oneself respecting oneself think they re worthy of respectlove trust can be successful relationships are source of joy 0 Relatively low SE negative internal dialogue revolves around putting themselves down negative expectations for themselves and others self criticalloathing Developmental shapers of self esteem 0 Messages of lovesupportapproval from significant others focus on what SO s do not necessarily say comm Through behavior on meta level confirmation enhances sense of self rejection necessary to correct behavior reject child s behaviors disconfirmation sending message you wish they didn t exit ignoring promoting neg view of self 0 Success experiences not all competencies equally valued parentsteachers need to provide ageapp opportunitiesguidance s o Favorable social comparison reference themselves to others result of how they compare themselves to others they identify with Self Efficacy Coninuum o Relatively High Self Efficacy trust capacity to perform and produce desired results o Relatively low Self Efficacy anxious about capacities to perform doubt capacity Global self efficacy global belief Domains different areas of competencies high in sports low in math Shapers of Self Efficacy o Mastery experiences most important more you master it more competent o Vicarious experiences provided by social models we comm Through our own anxiety about our own competenceincompetence that the kids vicariously identify with 0 Social persuasion quotyou have what it takes to succeedquot bolster confidence Trajectory implications 0 Conceive of self esteem and self efficacy as quotdevelopmental assets 0 Increase probably of success but don t guarantee it 10 15 Transformin from Earl to Middle childhood PeerTeam play children become less egocentric don t see themselves as center become more aware of normsconformitypeer pressure CliquesPeer groups 0 Clique Peer group that is particularly meaningful for an individual peers you associate with valuesnorms of clique become important to you dif cliques promote dif normsexpectations Functions of cliquespeer groups 0 Peersgender schemas ideas of how you re supposed to act self esteem approval success experience favorable social comparison identity identity issues peers primarily pressure you about identity values parents want kids to hang out with kids that have valuesaspirations they approve of sexual scripts influencing understanding of how you re supposed to act in sexual situations prosocial development basic social skills manage competition learn cooperation deal with envyjealousyconflict moral development learning about rightwrong what s appropriate Kohlberg s Theory of Moral Development 0 Level 1 PreConventional Toddlerearly school years most basic rightwrong Based on whether behavior is rewarded or punished kids believe punishment means it s wrong but if they don t get caught it s OK based on whether consequences result in benefits 0 Level 2 Conventional based on whether quotauthoritiesquot approve or disapprove of it conventional view of rightwrong based on whether the behavior upholdsviolates societies laws shapes our behavior but society depends on parentsauth figures to encourage kids to internalize standards of behavior 0 Level 3 Post Conventional based on preserving social contracts grounded in cooperation and collaboration based on ethical principles have to be exposed to moral dilemmas to force them to think of rightwrong on their own terms force you to make decisions based on what you decide is rightwrong peers can t get you on this level Psychological crisis of early childhood and middle childhood 0 Stage specific sources of ANXIETY I Infancy anxiety about trust vs mistrust toddler years anxiety about autonomy vs shamedoubt early childhood anxiety about initiative vs guilt 0 Dominant tension do things on your owntake responsibility quotInitiativequot take responsibility Guilt when you feel like you ve failed to live up to your own standards Central process Identification learning what you should do assimilating valuesexp for behavior I Middle childhood anxiety about industry vs inferiority 0 Industry developing a good attitude about work liking workaccomplishmentwant to succeed Central process education bc kids needs tools to succeed Prime Adaptive Ego Quality Competence Core Pathology Inertia 10118 Sexual Script Development 1 1 Sexual script addresses 5 w questions difference among people Certain developmental conditions body chem hormones prenatally result in ppl being predisposed to be attracted to the same sex or opposite sex individual 5 quotWquot Questions 0 Who you have sex with matter of sexual identity who you re excited by sexual orientation personal qualities that stimulate interest 0 Why you have sex motives Culturally quotendorsedquot motives traditional religious script for procreation in marriage romantic script sex ok if committed recreational script quothooking upquot or having sex for fun utilitarian script ok to use sex to achieve something elsebenefit yourself 0 What you do in sexual situations what you re comfortable with 0 When do you have sex when and where in liferelationship 0 Where do you have sex Shapers of the Scripts 0 Parents most opt out of an active direct shaper of kids sexual identity disqualify themselves as objective shapers not open to talk about it 0 Media shows sex as being enjoyablepleasurable important to who you are 0 Schools sex education starts early anatomyphyspregchildbirth 0 Peers Peer Socialization regarding sex takes place in samesex groupings Boys teach boys sex and status sex as marker of status importance of scoring objectify females collection of boy parts quotgreat boobs nice ass push for sex girls are quotgatekeepersquot girls more likely to open gates if you re committed ok to pretend Girls teach girls you are the object bodybody parts you are gatekeepers there are consequences identity consequences for being too loose labeled a slut shouldn t be active unless guy is committed guys will lie Two types of experiences 0 Autoerotic Experiences Jocelyn Elders Surgeon Gen Office masturbation should be taught to prevent AIDS 1020 Kids and Sexual Scripts Changed since 1950 s age of initiation into sexual activity down 1213 now more percent sexually active now closing gender gap changes in gatekeeping standards women more committed to idea of no sex wo commitment Changesinculturalvalues more 39 r of quot uuticviewofsex Elkind s concept of the hurried child emphasis on early maturity creates introduces kids to sexual behavior at earlier stage combined w less supervision Consequences and changes o STDS over 3 mil kids diag with STD last year over 50 of new cases of HIV among teens 0 Teen pregnancy rates since early 1990s going down rates over last 2 years back up Teen birth rate of babies born1000 teens counted as 1519 yr old Teen abortion rate of abortions1000 teens 1519 Teen pregnancy rate birth abortion rates adjusted slightly upward for miscarriages US Rates Teen birth rates 49 teen birth1000 teens 0 African America 851000 Latina 931000 0 Teen abortion rates 391000 0 Estimated teen pregnancy rate 491000391000 881000 I 1 in every 12 teens experienced a pregnancy last year Rates are different by social class standing 0 CT 401000 VT 271000 MISS 741000 Washington DC 1221000 Contraceptive risk taking is common programs to help protect teens not working Adolescent egocentrism kids being risk takers not understanding consequences believing they are invincible 0 Results in kids seeing themselves as unique and invulnerable to risk 0 Personal fable see themselves as dif than others destined for famefortune Lack of education in US about sex don t talk about important topics Unavailability of contraception 1022 Adolescence Adolescence conventionally defined as a transition period between childhood and early adulthood 0 Early 1318 later 1925 Requirements for adulthood are more complex economic factors inflation economic downward mobility Pressures in Adolescence revolve around IDENTITY DEVELOPMENT 0 Stagespecific sources revolve around figuring out identity Defining Identity The identity triangle 0 Life style how do you want to live your life married kids house 0 Occupation life work for money 0 Ideology values expectations what s important to use Psychosocial tensionssocial expectations and demands comes from parents teachers peers everyone In early adolescence tensions revolve more around lifestyle and ideology around occupation In later adolescence occupation becomes prominent Early Adolescence as kids become less egocentric they become more aware of the norms of conformity and value of fitting in First step in establishing a separate identity involves exploring who one is within various social systems and groups provide info about acceptable norms values group identity identity process initially joining group but expanding out Crisis Group identities vs Alienation o Committing to an identity that is based on valuesideology of groups one is connected to ex high school years groups about expectations of dress behavior Alienation negative form of involvement w social systems believe that your goals and systems goal are not compatible Occurs when you feel that your goals are not compatible with goals of the systems around you Way of collecting info what is not true about us Central process Peer pressure compels us to consider how amp to what degree we are connected to or alienated from various social systems Peers become important in school Around group identity issues quotjoin us dress like usquot Alienation reflected in the degree to which one feels that one can achieve ones goals by participation in various social systems continuum Attitudinal Manifestations of Degrees of alienation normlessness meaningless powerlessness social isolation purposelessness Reactive systems family school systemsteachers peers Hypothesis more one is alienated from family school and neighborhood systems more the connections to peers become important 0 The more one is alienated from family school neighborhood systems more likely one will find a group to connect with that is also alienated from these systems 0 Peer groups that share high degrees of collective alienation from family school and neighborhood systems are likely also to be alienated from other peer systems 0 The more identity is based on relative alienation from family school neighborhood and peer systems the greater the likelihood modes of adaption the more likely in other words one s identity is likely to lead them to act in maladaptive ways Modes of Adaption to Alienation what does a person do when heshe is negatively involved with a broad array of social systems 0 Rebellion attempt to change the systems to bring about a better fit between self and other systems more likely to be used when degree of alienation is not so extreme attempting to change systems they re alienated from 0 Self Estrangement accept the alienation as a defining feature of oneself o Conformity change yourself to better fit with broader systems degree to which one gives up on the expression of a unique and personally fulfilling identity in order to better with other systems express yourself and your identity by conforming w what others think you should feel and think Retreat Abandon any hope of connection to broader systems retreat into a world of 0 relationships based upon a shared disregard for the values and attitudes of these broader systems retreat into own little worlds 1025 Later Adolescence 11825 Identity triangle 0 Occupation career decision making process clarification that directs your behavior use your time money to accomplish goals 0 Lifestyle reflected in choices we make about how we live our lives 0 Values Get reflected in choices we make how we use resources Sources of psychosocial tension shift over time from external to internal sources 0 Adult yrs require us to make concreteserious decisions on how to live lfie o Neugarten s Concept of llsocial clockquot I Influencing factors norms in how we grew up societal normsexpectations familial normsexpectations I quotsocial clockquot is our understanding of what we should have accomplishedachieved by a certain stage of life Psychosocial crisis Identity vs Identity confusion o Pressured to work out some fairly clear articulated working model of occupation lifestyle values or be confused about it tension about identity issues Central Process Role experimentation young people need opportunities to experiment with different identities to collect info about themselves Psychosocial moratorium need a psychosocial break from all the tension and pressure Identity foreclosure when anxiety gets too great they ll manage it by making premature identity commitments foreclosing on an identity making choices and decisions before you ve done enough experimentation Individuation from both peersfamily be able to act in ageapp ways being ageapp autonomy being able to be emotionally connected to others in ageapp ways Indicators of Individuation balance autonomy and connection in ageapp awys Reworking patterns of quotdependenciesquot when you re dependent others options mean more 0 Financial dependencies harder to live financiallyfree and support yourself when young 0 Functional dependencies ability to manage your daytoday care manage cars repairs insurance laundry food money 0 Emotional dependencies how much other s approval and disapproval matters Individuation can be conceived of as both a requirement for identity development and an outcome of identity development o Individuation from peers as foundation for quotindividual identityquot 0 Individuation from family as foundation for quotindividual identityquot 0 Individual identity as a foundation for individuation from peers 10 27 Famil Tasks for the Famil with Adolescents Needs to provide quotsupportquot for identity and individuation o Reworking boundaries to enable adolescents to experiment w identity to act w age app autonomy over themselves dom family system issue in adolescent o Renegotiating patterns of authority need to give up authority as kids get more independent and have more authority over their own lives ParentAdolescent conflict is inevitable and necessary to promote changes in boundarieauth Renegotiation of patterns of auth when a child accepts parent s auth as legit the auth isn t a barrier to intimacy Key to reworking is going forward into adult years Powerauth legitimacy continuum o Legitimate expressions of parental power youth view parents as having legit power leads to the experience of intimacy II n o NonLegitimate r 39 youth feel 39 39 leads to escalation of conflict erodes foundation of intimacy Necessary for youth to push for greater autonomy and authority but parents require quotevidencequot of responsibility so they re comfortable AuthorityResponsibility Dance lying bc you re not sure if the truth will be okay avoid a topic parents pick and choose which lies to make conflict over Parents are anxious about shifting authority to their kids afraid for them Individuation Enhancing Patterns Parents remain present but not intrusive empathically responsive to the tensions experienced by both requires decentering and selfsooth Individuation Inhibiting Patterns Undermine individuation process and create conflict 0 Expelling hurrying children out feel like you don t matter 0 Binding parents don t trust kids competence overmonitoring blocks opp to experiment 0 Delegating delegating the identity to the kid quotyou need to be a doctorquot parents want to use child s achievements to minimize their own anxiety 10 29 Problems of Youth Gangs Runaways Substance Abuses drugs alcohol food bulimia anorexia sex Anxiety disorders depression not uncommon narcissism suicide Not a single cause or explanation or solution Problems of youth must see youth as residing within a developmental niche that includes family and a radius of sig others responsive to us as individualsmeet needs if niche is a constructive environment it is developmentally enhancing Niche generates anxiety trust competence mattering We are receptive to anxiety and it spills into other emotions Reactivity when faced with quotemotionevokingquot situations within familypeer the tendency is for individuals to react in ways that subverts their own development source of anxiety is important 0 Reflected in what you think cognitions what youth feel emotions what youth do behaviors Emotionevoking experiences of youth 0 Youth alienation from families schools 0 Expelling dynamics within families comm That they don t care 0 Binding dynamics results in them feeling that they re not competenttrusted o Delegating dynamics Note how much controlsupport it takes not to give in to powerful feelings of rejection engulfment abandonment powerlessness Legacy of angermistrust of authorities need for connectioncloseness reactive responses 0 Gangs solution that becomes part of problem developmental sources of anxiety has compelled them to feeling the only way to deal w anxiety and mistrust is find group 0 Cults charismatic leader unique identity it offers individuals serves same developmental function for those who join provides sense of belonging helps them feel like they matter 0 Fusing with girlboyfriend and joining their family same process as gangs and cults creates codependency lose sense of self 0 Antisocialuttitudcsquot 39 II39 p st ust of others attitude and reactivity to others becomes problem replicates dynamic where they feel rejected Binding hovering over kids anxious about whether they can do it three basic solutions to this developmental dilemma o Fuse and give in anxiety Depression Suicide 0 Cutoff rebel reject notion that I m incompetent resent that they feel incompetent want to be free anxiety about competence manifests itself in anger to people that communicated that they are incompent o Pseudoindividuate certain kinds of sub abuse problems excercising control over themselves by remaining dependent and in childlike position with family 0 Binded individuals may look independent but the ind efforts are resulting in them remaining dependent Delegating youth s reactivity to parents excessive need to control developmental trajectory of youth 0 Some parents attach their identities to their kids live vicariously through them delegating pattern 0 Narcissism believe they are center of everything only they matter 0 Suicide 1111 How Divorce Impacts on Children llDivorce Transitions Stages in divorce process transition periods Ahrons O O 0 Individual cognition ind partner in marr achieves a high enough degree of disgress where they begin to think the marriage will end start looking at alternatives can be years or months Family metacognition family becomes aware that a divorce is likely Separation very stressful time for everytone involves making changes beginning with process of changing where youpartner lives alternating finances precedes divorce by a number of months most stressful of periods Family reorganization will take time before family settles back into a stable pattern or process of organization The most of what we call problems reflect a child s attempt to reduce the anxiety they are experiencing anxiety should go away afterwards if parents are childfocused transitions create anxiety as primary emotion likely see manifestations of anxiety in behavior Sources of anxiety 0 Loss of attachments or disrupted attachments makes kids anxious not just with parents house schools social networks Fears of abandonment kids at all ages go thru some fears about whether their parents will remain present in their lives System reorganization dev trajectories of families inaround divorce process and how each of these introduces a certain but distinct level of uncertainty into lives of kids The greater the uncertainty combined with the prolonged exposure to it greater likelihood kids will be adversely affected AdultFocused System generates problems 0 young children regression aggression dependency anxiety and anger problem behavior to try and refocus focus on themselves Middle school kidsearly ado heightened dependency authority struggles with parents behavior problems fights w friends shoplifting etc school prob depression Older adolescents individuation difficulties resulting in either greater dependency that is app for age or reactive distancing Note each problem is strategically designed to shift focus back to child change to child focused system Characteristics of a sufficiently childfocused family system acceptance and the comm of acceptance empathy sovereignty parental value or belief that children which sees them as being and valued for this uniqueness contrast w children seen as burden Find in a sufficiently childfocused fam system inaround divorce ability of parents to draw distinctions between their own needs and needs of children 0 O O Reasonable level of parental cooperation Visitation arrangements that take child s needswants into consideration The ability of parents to set limits on their children and discuss expectationsrules


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