Indiv Marriage & the Family
Indiv Marriage & the Family HDFS 145
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Date Created: 09/19/15
Functions of the Family Tuesday September 06 2011 830 AM Homework None None Today39s To pics I I Important Points Lecture Topic During the lecture take notes here Insert a subpage for each lecture topic I Functions of the family Activities that are expected of families in all cultures I Reproduction Socialization I babies aren t born knowing language They must learn I Families always teach right and wrong I Family is primary teacher of culture This is socializing the child I Ex Family teaches how to use the toilet silverware wash hands after bathroom say please and thank you I Families teach the child how to be accepted into society Now schools and daycare television teach kids socializationHow to teach kids how to be a member of society I Regulation of sexual behavior I Some cultures females cant go out the house without a male This is a regulation of sexual behavior Teenage girls cant have sex with a certain age I Cant have sexual relations with siblings This is incest I Each society chooses the regulation Sexual regulation reinforce social order sex education I Economic cooperation I families are expected to take care of the family ie Food clothing grocery shopping etc I There are also gender specific tasks Things specific to each gender What does it mean to be a male and female in this culture I Assignment of status and social roles I What class you are born into Your parents place in society is your place in society I Some class are not moveable but our class is You can work to get better or worse I Sometimes it hard to live up to the expections Ex Pastors doctors etc Some social roles you will always have is you will always be the sondaughter of your mother Always sister of sister and brother and brother You will always be your mothers child Roles in families change in some ways and not in other ways Social roles of a mother is different depending on the time you become a mother I Ex 16year old will be different that a 23 year old Families teaches religion Teaches culture Intimacy I Emotional support I Strongest and more emotional connection Home should be the one place you feel love and protection Intimacy Is a primary human need People with intimacy are healthier Some people rely on pets for intimacy needs Especially older people They need someone who love them unconditionally Pets also children to take care of someone lower than them Native American Families widely dispersed Extended family Own types of foods own kinds of housing Their life revolved around their environment Most practice monogamous tho some were polygamy all married young Women were 1215 Because life span wasn t long and just because of society Rules of decent I patrilineal and matrilineal I Their were a high mortality Children died younger Smaller families because of disease and because of breast feeding Breast feeding were a type of contraception Mothers would breast feed for years and not have sex while breast feeding Discipline was not harsh because children was always with parents They were always busy European introduced guns to the native Americans They also faught over land This made it hard for native Americans to stick to their culture because they had to adapt to their environment who were kicked off their land Colonical families The first families that came here They were the first immigrants They needed women so they imported women They weren t really women you would want to bring home to you parents Family organization was patriarchal Land gave power Older son was powerful They kid everything from the father if he passed Many were economically dependent on the father If you inherit land soon then marry it goes to the husband Division of labor Depending on male and female Dadhusband was the boss He educated the children took care of the money harvested transmitting religion values were all in the family I Wives and daughter cooked sewed knitted preserved food Boys of the family chopped wood The family was a broad social unit meaning if someone was sick they family took care of them The family also educated the family The family taught religion Most colonies were settled by religious groups I The family had to produce everything that they needed Couldn t go to the stores and buy food I Colonial children I christian religiondoctrine Ways to discipline children They believe children were born in sin and you have to beat it out of them I disciplineparents were very strict no period of adolescence Considered small adults Usually by the age of 15 or 16 I children would die young I apprenticeship happened very young Around 8 Other daughters can apprentice other mothers I singleparents families and step families More than now Adults didn t live to be very old so their were lots of single parent homes American Slave families I no legal marriage but they had ceremonies like lljumping the broom they would try to run away together Families were often separated by owners I sexual equality I Childbearing were in their teens Most slave children didn t live to be 10 u by 7 or 8 they would be moved with the other young unmarried slaves taught their children religion I illegal to teach slave how to read in some cultures I strong kin network Be respectful of all adults Call adults aunt and uncle freed slaves after the civil war or sold the slaves their freedom I most freed slaves were female MexicanAmericans I Annexation and citizenship Nasty anglos Strong reliance on extended kin Help raise children Called coparents large multigeneration households children were proof that the family was strong and powerful I wives were expected to stay at home and menhusband were suppose to protect and be quotmachoquot rigid division of labor I seasonal work I 19th century families I industrialization Factories I move to cities purchase rather than produce I changed farm family life Farmers left and went to work in city I division of labor roles of men and women became separate They are no longer working alongside Mother and wives became housewives men became bread winners Mothers are 032714 How a Marriage Relationship Ends Separation The couple starts living apart usually an informal arrangement The couple is still legally married This is a time for reassessment of the relationshipthey might get back together or they might not Legal Separation The couple goes to court and requests legal rules to cover economic matters who pays for what child custody visitation rights counseling or therapy a set time during which these rules are enforced etc The couple is still legally married Some states require a legal separation before a couple can file for divorce Desertion one spouse abandons the marriage and children often without warning more men than women there is often financial hardship courts can t help the remaining spouse for years determined by each state the situation is very uncertain and unsettled for the spouse and children who left Annulment two typesknow the difference Religious annulment The Roman Catholic Church determines that this marriage at the time it took place did not meet the standards the church requires The church therefore does not recognize that the marriage never happened Civil annulmentA court can determine that legally this marriage never existed because at the time this couple married one or the other person did not meet the legal requirements to marry in this state underage already married one of them lied or the couple has never had sex After a civil annulment both persons are considered single Death of a spouse Historically most marital relationships ended when a spouse died people died younger living conditions were harsh culture discouraged divorce more children lived in single parented families in Colonial times than now because one of their parents died Most marital relationships now however end because of divorce Divorce Predictors risk factors for divorce cohabitation with someone else age a marriage under 20 over 35 divorce of close family members or friends marrying before you know each other well marrying because you think you should being nonreligious money problems Bad communicationdestructive fighting Some states when a couple files for divorce require them to meet with a mediator for a certain number of hours or sessions The couple will be expected to reach decisions about the terms of their divorce If you have an arbitrary divorce You have no say so so its better to have a divorce using a mediator than Judge divisions of assets and property child custody support visitation Mediation is much less expensive than paying lawyers to argue before a judge Mediation the couple decides Arbitration the judge decides There are 6 Stations of Divorce under The Multiple Realities of Divorcequot on page 475 and 476 Know the difference between these Consequences of Divorce Freedom from daily conflict and stress from responsibilities especially for fathers whose wives have custody of their children to make your own decisions to be more independent Social readjustments dating again sense of excitement self worth new and different sex fun guilt how will your kids feel about you dating Change in relationships with others former inlaws couple friends neighbors one of you lives in a new place one of you may or may not stay in the family home Financial readjustments Man s household income goes up about 40 typically Woman s household income goes down about 70 typically Harder on womenthey usually have custody of the children and must now care for children only about 55 of women are awarded child support and less than half of that 55 actually receive payments When a couple divorces the probability that their children will live in poverty rises by about 80 Poor families are hurt financially much more than other families Personal growth learning to do things you haven t done before cooking changing the oil in the car filling out income tax forms etc being on your own self confidence Health Changes Psychological some good some bad for example depression suicidal thoughts Physical mostly bad most likely to get sick catch cold etc Types of Child Custody about half of all divorces involve children Sole one parent is responsible for physically caring for the children and for making all decisions concerning them most traditional type usually goes to the mother going to fathers more now visitation might be generous or not so generousup to the court Joint Joint legal Custodychildren live with one parent but both parents share in decisions Joint Physical Custodychildren live with each parent about equal time parents make decisions together Joint custody of either kind does not work unless both parents cooperate Split Custody used much more in the past when couples had more children children are divided between the parents typically girls or younger kids to the Mother boys or older kids to the Father harmful to siblings because you are divorcing the children also Also 65 of the time custody goes to mothers traditional expected mothers nearly always want custody fathers usually don t want custody Perception in our culture that children need their mothers more than their fathers More than half of kids who are in the custody of their mothers have had no contact with their fathers in the past year Only 1 child in 5 sees hisher non custodial parent as often as once a week You may divorce each other but you do not divorce your kids If it were up to children there wouldn t be divorces There is no evidence that divorce is better for children than living with parents who don t get along Historically marraigesecurity for kids Often now the importance to children of marital permanence is ignored Sometime before reaching adulthood about half of todays kids will experience divorce of their parents and most of those kids will live in a single parent home for at least 5 years A majority of those kids will also experience living in a step family Research tells us that only about 15 of marriages involve high levels of conflict In most marriages that end in divorce there are no huge disagreements ot violence that would warp a kids s childhood The majority of marital breakups are driven by the search of greener grass There is a common perception that if parents are happy their children will be happy Research finds that this is absolutely not true Children adjust when their parents divorce but are those adjustments are healthy National Survey of Children Divorce is the single largest cause of childhood depression 30 of children who parents divorce eventually need some kind of therapy over 80 of adolescents in mental hospitals are children of divorce 60 of children treated in psychiatric clinics are of children of divorce What is being treated is not a shortterm reaction Treatment takes place on average moe The effects of divorce on children and how long these effects last depend on the age of the children when the parents split researchers believe that the younger a child is the less harmful divorce is to himher The nature of the marriage before the divorce how much time the family spent together and how involved the parents were with their kids The nastiness and anger between the parents before during and after the divorce The more conflict the worst for the kids The role of the father in his kid s lives after the divorce The more time he spends the better Most children experience divorce as negative Many children go through a period of mourning and grief feeling insecure and sometimes blaming themselves Many children become angry and disrespectful towards one or both parents lmportant points Families in History Thursday September 08 2011 832 Aivl Homework Email Notes to instructor Today39s Topics I Families back in time Family strengths Important Points Lecture Topic During the lecture take notes here Insert a subpage for each lecture topic The Great Depression I Consequences I Lost jobs I Homeless Share living space I Couples delayed getting married and having children I Increased desertion Particularly by fathers Left and tried to find work World war 2 I Consequences I MarriageMarriage and birth rate went up Tired to hurry and created a family before the men went off to the military I Women and teens went to work at factories that supported the war I Airplanes weapons etc Consequences after the war I Menfather wanted thing the way they were before Wanted women to quit working I Wivesmothers likes and wanted the independence They liked earning their own money I Housing was a problem Shortage of housing Boom of house construction I Divorce rate went up fast There were change and now disagreement amongst families I 195039s Life was good Economy was stable and jobs was available and with benefits GI bill quottraditionalquot quotidealquot familiesDad worked and mom stayed home with the kids most families owned their own home Lots of denial superficial idea violence Unconventional peoplewasn t following sexual norm and if they were discrimination Poverty amongst older americans Unmarried child birthing but didn t keep the baby Troubled youth were encouraged to drop out of school Handicapped kids were sent away or kept in the house away from the world Child abuse was normal Doctors didn t question bruises and broken bones Spousal abuse and spousal rape was not taking serious Sexually transmitted disease were found in children and they didn t care how they got them Didn t believe kids when they said they were sexually abused Many stresses in life I Family Strengths Commitment I Patients I Ability to compromise I Support and promote Respect and trust I Not taking for granted I Show and telling appreciation I Respect other39s things I Keeping promise Positive communication I Strongest predictor of I Fight fair I Get you point across but not be hurtful I Willingness to compromise I Make decision that is fair to everybody Morality and honesty I Parents teach a moral code I Learn from parents rather is by action or told I Taking responsibility Ritual and tradition I How you celebrate holidays I Routine and rituals are important to children to teach them to trust Adaptability I How you handle situations help strengthen the family I Need to able to adapt to different situations Ability to seek help I THIS IS A STRENGTH Time together I Help build communication skills and strengthen rituals I More timestronger family A wellness orientation I You want everyone to be healthy I Move the family forward in wellness I Encourage kids to volunteer helping people helps the family too Meeting each other needs I Interaction between people in the home I Bring stability and harmony to the home Diversity and Alternative Family Lifestyles Diverse households I Samesex couples 40 are raising children I Interfaith couplesFs and Interracialinterethnic coupleFs Use to very uncommon to date marry or even hang out I This is more common now I Tend to be more accepting but need to teach kids how to accept others opinions Kids learn religious and racial tolerance I 1967 law was shot down that prohibited interracial marriages I 1972 only 1 of marriagewere interracial I Cohabiting couplesFs I Over 12 of couples that marry together have lived together before I Single parent Fs Half of divorcing couples have children I 40 of children are born to married mothers and half of those are cohabiting this cause problems for children and legal problems I Singles living alone n 14 of single people are living alone I Older people are now living alone thanks to pensions social security etc Ethnicity I Melting potfondue I Tossed salad or symphonythe US is more of a mixture and together we are great Culture I Transmitted from one generalization to the next I The transmition of this culture is socialization What is culture I Things we can touch I Types of housing Foods people eat I Clothing I Things we cant touch I Rules and expectationsplease and thank you I Social rolesmasculine and feminine How expected to act I Social status and powerwhat kind of role is expected I Beliefs and values I Language Gender expectations I Educational level I Religion Relationship of people I Consanguineous relationshiprelated by blood I Conjugal relationshiprelated by marriage Extended kinshipeither of the aboveinlaws family on the other side I Affiliated kinshipnonrelatives we love and consider family Different Groups I Ethnic Group I Cultural group Racial group I Classified by physical characteristic Minority group I Numerical or power places one group at a disadvantages and the other at a advantage Prejudiceemotion attitude I Usually to to misunderstanding Discriminition I illegal I is a behavior I Doing something to show that your prejudice Stereotype I idea I Rigid overgeneralization European Americanswhite Maintain culture I Emphasis on selfdetermination and achievement I Encourage exellence Maintain family ties African Americans I Flexible gender roles I Strong kinship bonds Strong work ethnic I Strong motivation to achieve I Strong faith Childcentered Latin39Hispanic Americans I Fastest growing and largest ethnic group in the US I High birth rate over half of families have 5 or more children See family with a lot of kids as a very strong family I Marry younger 040314 About one of every 5 kids in the US today is a step child More than 9 out of every 10 stepchildren live Step children do worse on all measures of well being than kids in two married parent families even adjusting for household income level Stepchildren are more likely to Repeat a gradedrop out of school become a teen parent be abused Stepchildren are less likely to graduate from high school go to college be helped with college expenses by a parent or stepparent Research shows that stepchildren just do about as well as kids raised by single parents On the surface a step family would seem like a good substitute Researchers find that stepchildren are typically not involved with the children and are not as concerned as children s natural parents The remarriage of a parent adds to rather than diminishes the stresses on a child A parent s remarriage forms a triangle of childparentstepparent Research shows the failure of remarriages with children is the highest in the first 2 years after remarriage Research that it takes 37 yrs for stepparents to figure out everyones place in the family and to become successful Becoming a Successful Stepfamily Dont think you can be like a nuclear family Decide what the kids will call the stepparentnot MOM or Dad because they already have one of each The Step Parent shouldn t try to discipline the kids as if heshe was their parent Work on your couple relationshipit must be strong to handle the stresses on the the family Don t be impatient remember 37 years Define the roles in your familyease in slowly you are not the boss of the household you are the outsider to avoid making waves Decide who will be responsible for what Work on a dyad relationship between two people in the family Each dyad must work well for full family functioning Legal Issues in Stepfamilies In most states a step parent has no legal standing and no rights if the life of hisher stepchild If a remarried couple divorces the former stepparent has no legal right to custody or visitation without legal judgement Schools and any other organizations do not and can not recognize stepparents as a legal parent Stepparents cannot sign permission slips report cardsor information forms A step parent cannot legally take a child to the doctor and approve treatment A stepparent has no legal rights to the children StepFamilies Can Be Strong Families V th all family strengths we talked about at the beginning of the semester PLUS More companionship and love for everyone Fresh insights and opportunities for everyone teaching new hobbies Multiple role models for the kids The model of an adult couple in love Gender and Sex Tuesday September 13 2011 834 AM Homework Today39s Topics I Gender and sex Important Points Lecture Topic During the lecture take notes here Insert a subpage for each lecture topic I Gender SexPhysical I Chromosomal and hormonal GenderSocial Group of traits and ideas based on sex I Masculinity I Femininity Traditional gender roles I Learned as part of socialization Masculinedominance I Femininesubmissive Gender role stereotype I Overgeneralization Gender role socialization I We socialize kids into gender roles and stays with us as we grow up I Kinds of ideas you have for yourself because you are male or female I It starts before the baby is even born I Buy pink clothes for a girl blue for a boy I Parents teach these roles to their children I Differences in communication relationships decisions family responsibilities are influence gender associations XX is female XY is male I X is present in both so the Y is what determine is to be a male 68 weeks You cant tell if the fetus is a male or female Androgens hormones I Testosterone is what turns the fetus into a male I Testosterone in male fetus is the same as in a grown man 032014 Communication There are several ways to communicate Speech Writing Physical Gender differences in communication Women Use more qualifiers Use more descriptive language Are more polite Use more tag questionsquot Touch more Are socialized to use words to express our feelings but we also suppress our feelings sometimes Men Less is expected from boys and men Often aren t socialized to expressed their needs Communicate straight to the point Use fewer descriptive words Reveal less personal information Try not to show their feelings This culture encourages boys to be independent competitive and assertive These traits may be good for the world of business but they are not in intimate relationships 2 kinds of communication Verbal about 35 Nonverbal about 65 For a message to be most effective verbal and nonverbal components should be in agreement Remember you deserve to be heard You deserve to respected for your opinions You deserve to receive love and affection if you are giving them Sources of power in communication and conflict in our culture 1 Age or legitimacy 2 Sex 3 Money 4Love 5 Physical strength For effective communication Negotiate don t manipulate Focus on the issue Focus on the behavior not the person Evaluate your own reaction Timing Avoid always and never statements Use I statements rather than you statements Offer alternatives rather than giving advice Learn to love the other person s 10 Treat your partner like you treat your best friend 11 Avoid anger 12 Use humor to deescalate conflict 13 Learn conflict resolution skills NP WPF N How to disagree Destructive conflict Unresolved unproductive can be abusive Constructive conflict Leads to understanding compromise more closeness Things to remember about conflict Every relationship has conflict Conflict doesn t have to be antagonistic Conflict doesn t have to negatively affect a relationship John Gottman University of Washington he and his wife both retired professors of psychology They research and write about couple communication 1970 s and 80 s Over 650 couples involved in their research Predicted in over 95 accuracy how many of them would get together in 5 years by the way they communicated Anger is not the most destructive thing in a relationshipit s the way they fight Unequal power in a relationship can also be deadlyinstead share the power compromise Couples whose relationships work relate to each other positively and they make repair attemptsquot to stay connected There is reciprocity in their relationships The quality of friendship with their spouses is the most important factor in their satisfaction with their relationships Friendship is the backbone of a long lasting relationship Gottman39s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypsequot 1 Criticism 2 Contempt trying to make your partner feel like crap 3 Defensiveness 4 Stonewalling 5 Belligerence pushing the button you know that s going to set them off Constructive Fighting Listening actually hearing what your partner is trying to say Leveling being honest putting it out there Stay on topic V nWin Compromise REMEMBERnot all problems can be solved by good communication Stress Stress involves change Stress and change can be positive or negative Homeostasis Crisis vs Crises Strong families are more successful at adapting to and coping with stress and crises than other families Newlywed and young families work and money Families with young children money and time Families with adolescents money time control vs independence Emptynesters energy work satisfaction heath Retirees health money death of spouse being alone Communication Thursday September 15 2011 832 Aivl Homework Readstudy for EXAM Today39s Topics I Exam Overview Communication I Stress and Crisis Lecture Topic During the lecture take notes here Insert a subpage for each lecture topic Communication The first form of communication is touching I Gender differences I Women Use more qualifiers Explain what we mean I Use more descriptive words I More polite Less forceful words I quottagquot questions I Say quotDon t you agree What you agreequot draw out opinion I Socialized to express feelings Touch more To the point Fewer descriptive words I Reveal less personal info I Protect their feelings Think it s a sign of weakness Encourage from children to be independent competitive assertive I Kinds of Communication I Verbal I The words we use I 35 is verbal I Nonverbal I How we use those words I Attitude I Body language Eye contact I 65 in non verbal I Sources of power in communication I Age I Tips for John Go I I I John Go I Older more than younger Legitimacy I Mother over child Sex I Male more than female Money I More money more power I Way of controlling Love I Coerce someone Ex If you love me you wouldwouldn t do this or that Abuse them because they love you Physical strength I Parents are bigger than kids Abusive relationships More Effective Communication Negotiate Be brief I Focus on the issue at hand Don t pull in all the issues you had with this problem Focus on the behavior not the person Look at yourself first I Look at your reaction You cant control the others person actions but you can control your reaction Timing I When the other person is willing and ready to discussion Cant expect too much right away Avoid quotalwaysquot and quotneverquot Use quotIquot statements I Tell them how you feel Its not pointing the finger but taking responsibility too Offer alternative I Instead of telling them what you wanted to do Love the other person39s quirks Treat you partner like you treat your friend Avoid anger I Anger is the inability to control yourself Use humor Learn conflict resolution skills I Agree to disagree ttman Anger is NOT the most destructive theme in a relationship but the way couples fight Unequal power is deadly Repair attempts FRIENDSHIP is the backbone ofa lasting relationship ttman39s Four horsemen of the Apocalypse Contempt I Call the other person names belittling the other person I Criticism I Attacking the person personality I Defensiveness I Need to hear what your partner sa I Don t say quotit not my faultquot it turns you into the victum Stonewalling I Walking away from the argument without saying something I Refuse to listen to your partner by leaving Belligerence I Challenging the other person by using power I Ex Threaten to leave and take the kids I Making the other person feel powerless I Constructive fighting I Listen I Hearing other point of view I Sets an example for your partner I Don t interrupt Maybe use time Ex Give each person 3 min I Level I Being honest and able to put into words about how you feel I Repeat I Repeat what they said in your own words I Lets the person know you were listening I Stay on topic I Be brief I Don t bring up old problems I Solve one problem at a time I WinWin I Strive for a winwin outcome I Both come out satisfied and come out winning I Doesn t have to be a loser I Compromise I Stress and Crisis in Families I Stress I Your reaction to the demands of life Stressor I What causes the stress I Change I Caused by stress and stressor I Positive or negative I Homeostasis I Balanced I Family will come to a balance even tho there are stress I Family stress I Affects the entire family Types of Stressors of Crisis 041014 Families are Multigenerational History together important of siblings in later life This is the longest relationship you ll have in your lifetime They can be good role models Social well being Later Life Couples Marital satisfaction and quality usually stay the same or improve as a couple lives together over a long time If a couple is happy together when they re young they usually be happy when they re old Absence of the stresses of childrearing helps couples U shaped curves of marital satisfaction Transitions in later life Children grow up and leave home retirement moving to a smaller home a one level a warmer climate grandchildren health problems needing help The grandparent generation The parent generation The sandwich generation The child generation Grandparents raising grandchildren 68 ofall children in the US Kids of all ages and races Grandparents are raising these kids for these reasons substance abuse by parents over 40 child abuse neglect abandonment 30 Teen pregnancy 10 death of parents divorce of parents jobless of parents health of parents each 45 Challenges these grandparents face legal parental consent governmental assistance guardianship adoption Social respite care emotional support financial food clothing shelteradequate affordable appropriate access to insurance or medical services energy physical and mental health Retirement ldea new during the Age of Industrializationbefore then you worked until couldn39t anymore More than half of people over age 65 still work at least part time for the social contact for something to do for money The Elderly This is the fastest growing segment of the population and this shift affects public polices taxes social service programs etc With more older citizens there will be fewer people working to pay into Social Security and more people receiving benefits using human service programs senior center etc Life expectancy in 1900 was 50 In 1910 less than 1 of people born would live to age 100 Today experts speculate that as many as half of the baby girls today could live to age 100 Today women live 57 years on average longer than men who are born the same year as them Why do women typically live longer now fewer dies of childbirth and childbed fewer than before medical advances Protective benefits of female hormones for most of their lives Less dangerous jobs than men s Females from conception to death are more hardy than males Longevity is a blessing Richer more meaningful life opportunity to share in socialization of new generations Longevity is also a curse hea h living alone money Where are all these old people Most live in their own homes either alone or with their spouses In 2010 27 of households contained only one person living alone At any given time less than 10 of the elderly are in nursing homespeople in nursing homes are primarily the very elderly and the infirm who cannot take care of themselves Aging in place Stay where you are when you get olf Accessiblehousinghome modifications lmportant because adult age 65 and older fall each year and 30 of them injured seriously enough that their lives are forever changes WHat does Accessible housing mean everything is on all one floor no stairs gradual incline ramps wide doorways and hallways non slippery floors even floor surfaces walkin showers instead of bathtubs Tempered glass or non glass shower higher toilets with grab bars close by levers instead of door knobs brightermore lighting no throw rugs hand rails and grab bars where needed Human Services for the Elderly Family Care Meals on Wheels 041714 Typical feelings about death none of these feelings are abnormal Welcoming people who are religious alone older etc Denial use different words to cope with death Bewilderment Fear Normal processes of grief Shock comes first and can last from hours to months numbness disbelief not knowing what to do inability to function etc Other process of grief happen in no particular order and often happen all at once lntense suffering Anger Guilt Gradual reawakening of interest in life It helps to have a support system within which you can express your grief How to help someone who is grieving Let the person talk and be willing to just BE THERE Don t avoid mentioning the deceased Help with the household work visit often even after the funeral Don t judge another person s grief Be aware of holidays birthdays anniversaries When death occurs Before Birth Miscarriage death during first trimester highest rates during first pregnancy 25 of confirmed pregnancies end in miscarriage The older or the younger a mother is the more likely she is to miscarry Most miscarriages are due to something wrong with the fetus Other things that can cause miscarriage Mother s immune response that disrupts implantation of a fertilized egg Blood clotting issues abnormality of the uterus or cervix Mother s infection or illness Lyme Disease listeriosis exposure to measles etc uncontrolled diabetes lupus thyroid disease smoking alcohol etc A normal pregnancy will not miscarry if the mother participates in normal physical activities or has a minor accident 90 of women who miscarry will go on and have a normal pregnancy the next time Chances of successful pregnancy however become less with each successive miscarriage What happens when a women is having a miscarriage Spotting Cramping A recognizable fetus maybe expelled or only bloody stuff resembling the skin on the inside of your mouth If the fetus is not expelled labor may be induced DampC risk of infection only 1 or 2 of pregnancies end after the first trimester Once a mother reaches her second trimester the chance of miscarriage is very low When it does happen the mother goes through labor birth and the same hormonal changes as a woman who have a live normal birth Stillbirthdeathloss of the baby after viability Laborbirth 39 39gmilk 39 39 etc Sense of failure inadequacy Autopsy may determine why Neonatal death at birth or soon after Most often happens because of LBW prematurity or another prebirth problem Resuscitate or notwhose decision is it SleepRelated Infant Death Suffocation A baby can die if tangled or caught in something in his bed A baby should never sleep with anyone else A baby should sleep only in a crib with a tightfitting mattress No toys stuffed animals blankets or pillows should be in the bed with the baby The risk of suffocation is 40 times higher for infants sleeping in adult beds babies should sleep with their heads uncovered SIDS sudden infant death syndrome Most typically happens to babies between two and six months old Has been reduced by more than 50 since Back to Sleepquot campaign Research shows a high incidence of e pylori bacteria in SIDS babies This bacteria is transmitted Sleep Related Death Risk Reduction Replacement Pregnancy Not a good ideashould wait 612 months to try to get pregnant again A woman might be physically ready but not emotionally ready before 612 months Death of a Child Strikes both parents at once Takes away each partner s strongest support Parents grieve differently If there are other children in the home Do children understand death It depends on their age 2 is when they understand death It depends on how the adults around the child talk about the death Use words the child can understand Explain only as much as the child can handle Adults must emphasize the seriousness When a child himselfherself is dying Child should be told as much as heshe can understand Be honest about pain and discomfort Establish connections with other kids who are sick Death of Spuse At every age there are more widows than widowers Problems that Widows Lost of identity Change in financial situation Change in social activities One advantagethere are lots of other widows to support a new widow Problems that Widowers unprepared for self care loss of intimacy Feeling of uselessness lncreased rates of mental and physical illnesses suicide and his own death V dowers are more likely to remarry than other widows Getting through the death of a spouse Involvement in activities and with other people eases the grief Family becomes more important HDFS 145 Lecture 12 February 20 2014 BabyAppearance o Umbilicalcord 0 Clips 0 Stump dries up and falls off 0 Belly button 0 Baby s face 0 Puffy o Nose flat 0 Eyelids swollen o Baby s head 0 Often misshapen 0 Soft spots fontanels sections of the baby s skull closes within a year or more 0 Head disproportionately large for body head is onefourth of baby s length compare to onetwelfth of an adult s heightlength o Circumference of a head compared to circumference of chest should be within 4 cm 0 Baby s skin 0 Slippery goopy vernixbloodmucus o Blotchy o Wrinkly o Fragile o Lanugo very fine hair all over body 0 Ba by s temperature 0 Baby s genitals and breasts 0 Swollen and red Steps After Birth 0 Parents 0 Mom will be fingerprinted 0 Hospital bracelets will be put on mom baby dad they stay on until all are discharged 0 Baby will be weighed and measured Newborn Reflexes 0 About 70 reflexes are present in a normal newborn baby 0 Lack of any of these reflexes or abnormal reflexes or reflexes lasting too long are indicative of problems 0 Some of these go away as baby develops 0 Some reflexes are permanent 0 Breathing 0 Eye blink o Pupillary 0 Some reflexes are permanent but are modified by experience 0 Sucking o Swallowing Page 1 AttachmentBonding After baby is weighed and measured he has had eye dropsshots etc and now it is bonding time Normal for mom to feelnot feel attachment Baby can see only 1012 inches not farther Within 24 hours of birth baby will have a complete physical by your pediatrician Before baby goes home it will be weighed and measured again and it will also have tests for hearing and lung function blood tests 0 Newborn screening can test for more than 30 conditions and disorders PKU sickle cell anemia etc List of things to watch for jaundice dehydration umbilical cordbelly button healing Early Brain Development Brain development starts at conception The sequence and timing of the formation of brain cells during pregnancy can be affected by substance abuse poor nutrition radiation and other teratogens Because of the rapidity of brain development a fetus brain exposed on the 13 h day of development will be different than a fetus exposed on the 14 h day of development 0 Therefore it is important that women who are pregnant do not drink breath or expose themselves that could be harmful to the baby s development 90 of brain development happens between conception and child s 5 h birthday Within two weeks of conception the brain and spinal cord start as a flat structure called the neural plate The neural plate lengthens and starts forming a groove It closes into a tube around three weeks after conception At the time the tube is closing the top part forms the brain The lower part of the tube becomes the spinal cord The Bvitamin Folic acid has been proven to prevent up to 60 of neural tube defects Synapses connections between brain cells start five weeks after conception By the tenth week after conception the fetus is moving its arms and legs stretching sucking swallowing and grasping The brain continues forming neurons and synapses throughout the rest of pregnancy and continue long after birth A newborn has about 100 million neurons brain cells but not many are connected At birth the brain is about 25 of its eventual adult weight Synapses form very rapidly after birth By age two a child s brin is 75 of its eventual adult weight By age three a child s brain has twice as many connections about 1000 trillion and is two and a half times as active as an adult s brain and it continues with that many connections until about age 10 As infants grow their 1 quot I social and emotional environments Babies and children actively participate in their own brain development by signaling their needs to caregivers and by responding to the care given Opportunities and risks are greatest during the first years of life although learning takes place throughout the life cycle In the first ten years a child s brain forms trillions of synapsesconnections n genetic I are 39 by their physical Page 2 Each brain cell neuron may be connected to as many as 15000 other neurons Synapses survive that are used repeatedly in a child s life they are reinforced and become a permanent part of the brain s wiring quotuse it or lose itquot Then there is a gradual decline in synapses through late adolescence Teratogens Substances which distort prenatal development environmental agents that cause damage to a child before birth The fetus undergoes different types of development during each of the three trimesters although the brain is ALWAYS developing First trimester 0 Body and major organ systems develop 0 All teratogens cause problems at this time Second trimester 0 Organ systems are maturing Third trimester o All organs and structures are formed baby is mostly just growing Common teratogens 0 Alcohol Smoking mothersecondhand Radiation Household chemicals bleachammoniapaint Industrial chemicals Prescription medications Illegal drugs 0 Cat and bird feces toxoplasmosis Problems caused by teratogens o Miscarriage Stillbirth Prematurity LBW connected to smoking Withdrawal symptoms Physical abnormalities OOOOOO Tremors and seizures Greater chance of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome SIDS Hypersensitivity distractibility o Abnormal behaviors Alcohol 0 the one teratogen that can cause problems at any stage of pregnancy 0 alcohol is the leading cause of birth defects and mental retardation in the US 0 a single drinking binge by a pregnant woman can be enough to permanently damage a OOOOOOOOOO baby Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is totally preventable 0 There is no safe level of alcohol for a pregnant woman 0 About 1 in 1000 babies in the US are affected by FAS Page 3 040114 if the child is a preschooler and attends a highquality daycare If the child is schoolage and stays in one school in one neighborhood and has several good friends even better if these friends are doing well in single parent homessupport for kids and their single parent if the parent has a job The opposites of these things are likely to be harmful to children in single parent familes Remarriage Remarriage courtships are shorter than first marriage courtships 75 of divorced people marry divorced men are more likely to remarry sooner most marry women younger than their first wives divorces women wait longer Why do divorced women wait longer they usually have custody of the children they have less free time for dating they have less money for a social life they may be too busytoo tired for a social life most women have stronger support networks than men do and they turn to those people for intimacy and support rather than dating partners Strengths of Remarriages The people are older hopefully wiser and know what they re doing There are developmental differences in people in their 20 s first marriages and in their 30 s and beyond remarriages The people are ready to move on with their lives and be happy There is great hope for correcting mistakes and getting it right this time There is evidence that remarried husbands contribute more to housework than first married husbands Weakness of Remarriage Remarried couples have more problems than first marriage couples money more expenses in remarriagesespecially child support going both in and out of the budget HDFS 145 Lecture 11 February 18 2014 Immediately after Birth 0 Emotions Breastfeeding Stitching of episiotomytears Hormone in IV or shot Involution starts I 6week process I Uterus returning to prebirth size 0 Nurses will check mom every 15 minutes 0 Mom will need a long nap and so will dadpartnercoach Recovery 0 Mom and baby will stay in the hospital for about 24 hours after birth unless there have been complications 0 List of things to watch for or be aware of Problems mother 0 Excessive bleeding 0 Abnormal bleeding blood clots 0 Infection 0 Hemorrhoids o Breastfeeding difficulties Problems baby 0 Feeding difficulties 0 Jaundice 0 Infection Mom needs help 0 Fixing meals 0 Laundry 0 Cleaning quotAfterbirth painsquot 0 Similar to Braxton Hicks contractions during the last months of pregnancy Lochia 0 Discharge as inside of uterus heaIs 0 Last from several days to several weeks 0 Starts out bright red immediately after birth changes to pink or brown and then coIorIess and goes away 0 Most moms who breastfeed have heavier Iochia during feeding times less row or none in between Perineum discomfort o Stretched skin episiotomy stretches 0 Ice packs warm baths TernoI o KegeI exercises o Constipation Breast tenderness whether or not mom is breastfeeding Page 1 OOO Wear a supportive bra Take Tylenol Warm showers Infection mastitis 0 Weight loss after birth Mom s skin stretch marks 0 Return of menstrual periods 0 Sixweek checkup O O O Breastfeeding General physical Weight loss Counseling about contraception o Mothers that Do 0 O O 0 Over 34 of moms start out breastfeeding After six weeks however only about half of them have continued llFirst milk Colostrum I Clear yellowish very sweet tiny lumps I Contains antibodies to protect baby llRegular milk I Starts 2 to 4 days after birth I Looks more like cow s milk but is not at all similar 0 Successful breastfeeding O O O 0 Mother needs to drink plenty of liquids juice skim milk water Mom should continue to take prenatal vitamins Mom needs lots of rest Mom needs to eat well Moms whose babies want to nurse all the time are probably not producing enough milk 0 o llBreast is best 0 O O 00 For both mother and baby The longer a mother breastfeeds the better her child s health will be forever Breastfeeding reduces illnesses and deaths in children from diarrhea childhood diseases respiratory infections and other health problems Mom s body gets back to normal faster if she breastfeeds I It s easier to lose weight because her body needs up to 500 extra calories a day to make milk I Breastfeeding causes hormonal stimulation of the uterus involution I Breastfeeding can be used as contraception called LAM lactational amenorrhea method if 85 of baby s feedings are by breast as long as mom has not started menstruating as long as baby is under 6 months old Breast milk is I Always handy I Always the right temperature I Always sterile Breast milk changes over time it s always exactly what the baby needs Other advantages I Baby s diapers don t stink as bad Page 2 I Baby s clothing is not stained I Baby body smells a lot better than a formulafed baby I Baby is less likely to have feeding problems I Baby s eyes develop more normally 0 The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding exclusively for 6 months I Breast milk is the perfect food for baby until age 1 year but at 6 moths they need different kinds of food also I Baby s digestive system is not ready for solid foods until about 6 moths I Baby s mouth and tongue control to move and swallow solid foods isn t there until about 6 months 0 Quitting Breastfeeding o No need for special formula after age one but feed only whole milk o If before baby is one year old switch to formula Mcow s milk I Cow s milk is harder to digest has different protein low iron low Vitamin C different fat I Cow s milk must be processed diluted modified and enriched to turn it into formula 0 Most of baby s calories need to come from fat during the first year because of continued brain development 0 Brain cell connections are covered with a layer of fat myelin to maintain those connections 0 if not enough fat those connections let loose After Birth 0 PostPartum Depression PPD 0 quotPostquot means after 0 quotPartumquot means birth o Is sometimes called the baby blues and it happens in a mild form to most new moms in the first 3 up to 6 months after giving birth About 10 of moms have severe PPD and need some form of medical treatment Moms who are more likely to have PPD I Moms who had health problems during pregnancy I Moms who had difficult laborsbirths ie emergency cesareans I Moms who are teens or have lower levels of education 0 Causes of PPD I Chemicalhormonalcauses o Drastic change in hormones o Betaendorphins drop after birth I Physical causes 0 Pain 00 o Anemia from blood loss 0 Dehydration 0 Fatigue I Mentalpsychologicalcauses 0 Feeling ugly o Worry about baby 0 Worry about being a good mother Page 3 In conti Prostat Cancer nuation from last class e Problems Enlargementhappens to all men More common in men as they age 90 of men over 90 have it Most types of prostate cancer are very slow growing only 3 of men die from it even with no treatment PSA Prostate Specific Antigen tests are no longer recommended routinely Treatments for prostate cancer Nothing Estrogen shots counterbalance testosterone which encourages prostate growth causes hot flashes radiation insertion of radioactive seeds Surgery Specifically in Ageing women Menopause Symptoms irregular periods heavier or less heavy flow sleep problems hot flashes forgetfulness depression migraine headaches skin of vaginaand perineum thins intercourse uncomfortable decreased sex drive increased sex drive no more worry about pregnancy higher risk of heart disease body and skin changes How to treat Menopause live with it 040314 75 of chronic diseases and 50 of all deaths are behavior related especially smoking poor nutrition lack of exercise stress but also alcohol not getting enough sleeprest not using seat beltschild safety seats Children Wellbaby checks are very important time where they look for reflexes and general well being checkups at 2 4 6 etc months and around each birthday to confirm normal development steady gains in height and weight showing skills ontime catch problems early To give immunizations as recommended see chart on Angel Immunizations are much less dangerous than the diseases they protect against Serious complications from diseases in nonimmunized children are more than 1000 more serious than the risk of serious side effects from vaccines No legitimate research that links immunization to autism Slight reactions to immunizations are normal redness warmth at immunization site slight swelling slight fever fussiness discomfort Give a dose of Liquid Tylenol before a child s appointment for immunizations Culture is transmitted from one generation to the next Parents teach their children how to become members of society What is culture Things we see and touch and things we cannot see and touch woven baskets gender religion etc American Families differ in ethnicitycultural racephysical minority statusnumber or power all of these have to do with the socialization of the people in a culture DIVERSITY AND ALTERNATIVE FAMILY LIFESTYLES The traditional family is NOT the most typical family anymore In about 25 of families now Father and motherare married Raising children Both parents work for pay outside the home DIVERSE HOUSEHOLDS One form of Diverse families are Interfaith Couples and Families More socially acceptable Strengths of interfaith families 1 Children learn more than one religious viewpoint 2 Children learn interpersonal and religious tolerance 3 Children experience different religious rituals Challenges for Interfaith Families 1 Interfaith marriages have higher divorce rates than samefaith marriages 2 Parents have to decide which faith is dominate in child rearing 3 Parents have to explain differences and possible conflicts of two faiths Interracial families One of every seven marriages in the US in interracial Until 1967 16 states still had laws against interracial marriages couples meet at work at college in the military Strengths of interracial families 1 marriages are likely to be based on strong personal feelings 2 Children have enriched knowledge and enjoyment of ethnic heritages Challenges 1 Getting along with or ignoring people who do not approve ofthem and are prejudiced against them 2 Parents have to teach their children to be tolerant of people who are not tolerant ofthem Cohabiting Couples and Families More than half of couples who marry today are already living together Single Parent Families Now the highest percentage of nontraditional families in the US Most are formed by unmarried childbirth not divorce discuss this more later Singles Living Alone About 25 of all US households today In 1960 only 12 most commonly spouse had died Increase is due to Societal attitudes and economics SameSex Couples with or without Families 1415 are raising children Most same sex couples who have children have them from heterosexual relationships and or adoption Lack of medical insurance and other benefits cause difficulties for these couples and families ATTITUDES about Samesex Families Raising Children quotHot buttonquot issuecurrent court case in Michigan Research finds that quality of parenting not sex of parents is most significant for normal child development Review Topics for Exam 2 Deciding to have children Costs of Parenthood Couples who conceive accidentally compared to couples who plan to have a child Couples who concieve accidentally have higher costmore struggles stress not as good as parents lnfertitlityFertility Fertility rates of couples in their 2039s and 3039s Causes of infertility in female most commonly blocked Fallopian tubes in male various causes eg tight pants drugs etc Pregnacy Note which trimester those events occur Italicized amp underlined information on Pregnancy calender Teratogens and their effects things that distort the development of the fetus worst time is during the 1st Trimester Prematurity and LBWSee notes Premature babies are higher risked to die Multiples compared to singles Babies who are born in multiples have more heath problems LBW and premature the more of them there are the higher the chances PreLabor Labor and Birth BraxtonHicks contractions Three stages of labor and birth How does the baby move How does baby react monitoring fetal heartbeat Medical Interventions in Labor and Birth Monitoring Anesthesia Induction Cesarean Why is it necessary How is the mother prepared Episiotomy surgical cut in the women39s vaginato make birth easier Instrumentassisted birth tongs to wiggle baby39s head around to help pull out the baby After Birth recovery For baby APGAR test Reflexes Jaundice For Mother Involution Process of the uterus going back to normal size takes about 6 weeks and the normal size is a fist Breastfeeding Advantages for the mother Advantages for the baby antibodies perfect food for babies protein Changes in mother39s milk over time body makes different kind of milk PostPardum Depression Who has it Is it common Symptoms fatigued indecisiveness depression being unhappy with self
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