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Date Created: 09/12/14
Iemolal Elyse Iemola CFS 388 M002 Ioseph Fanelli Week 1 828 5 perspectives of sexuality psychological medical biological historical cultural anthropological The A ective dimension touch tenderness intimacy caring emotional relationship The Genital dimension biological physical ie oral sex toys etc you can one without the other but when they are well integrated you get passionate intimate sex The past in uences the present and the future everyone begins their sexual journey right when you39re born genitally and affectively Week 2 94 Overview notes affective genital important for tests Re ection paper due on November 13th is a re ection paper on your on feelings and thoughts via the material covered thusfar 2 pages No grade for it but credit for completion Variables that in uence being a great lover time to figure out BE TOLD partners wants wishes needs desires work real life experiences Iemola2 patience time to figure out what their like appreciate differences awareness about how the past in uences the present One of the most common reasons we choose the wrong partner is that we do not know who we are or what we really want Self re ection emotional awareness understanding how our past in uences our present Everyone has a sexual backpack full of experiences you39ve had ie first love breakup how you feel as your sex etc these make you filter how you see things Something to think about how does how my parents treated me affect who I am now Incompetent Never good enough On my own Had to push for someone to treat me well What does my family or origin have to do with how I feel about relationships presently how did I learn about sec from my family who taught me how to love Why we love who we love the real reasons why we choose that special someone Love maps a group of messages encoded in our brains that describe our likes and dislikes in our early years of life we create our mental schemas for what we find attractive comfortable desirable etc visual auditory olfactory chemicallyall the senses in short we fall for and pursue those people who most clearly fit our love map By age 8 the pattern for our ideal has already been formed Sexuality is a part of our life from the moment we39re born look at your childhood to get who you are in relationships fetuses have erections as early as 612 months self sooth rubbing genitals genital Iemola3 also lots of affective experiences holding cradling etc helps make you feel worthwhileness You39re teaching that child how to love that he she is worth loving they can give love back etc Attitudes are caugm not wugm family atmosphere is so important is the world a good place Is it consistant PARENTS are the primary sex educatiors of their won children askable parents teachable moments are they overt or covert what will you be Children who are loved grow into adults who have the capacity to love themselves and to love others worthwhileness9I have what it takes to love and be loved energy to want to be in a relationship and love someone else shame9when you don39t have it Confusion I don39t know if I know what love is or if I can love Attachment styles Attachment theory Secure9 trust that other will provide love and support Parents will be there and love you and fulfill your needs This gives you the resources now as young adults to feel independent and dependent as appropriate confident etc Anxiousambivalent fear abandonment fear their needs might not be met Parents were overwhelmed or helicopter helicopter well do I ned to be watched this much Whats wrong with me overwhelmed lack consistency makes you look for someone to take care of you or you39re very needy and asking if everything s ok do you love me etc never satisfied and never sure they love you enough Avoidant9 defensively detaches withdraws form others Iemola4 unavailable parents individual who doesn39t like relationships because growing up it didn39t go well Man39s world vs woman39s world gender and roles Stereotype a fixed over simplified and often distorted idea about a group of people Gender role are stereotypes in that they evoke fixed conventional expectation Men are taught to apologize for their weakness and women for their strength Stereotypical messages still encourage boys to deny their hurt and for girls to confirm their weakness Parents tend to reinforce in their children what they consider appropriate gender role behavior Women say they hate when he orders dinner for you calls triple AAA even though you can fix the at INSISTS on opening the door expects you cant hold liquor stranger the day after expects you to do his laundry if you39re upset it must be your period etc Men say they hate when you order dinner she orders salad he gets the check she expects you to initiate assumes youre hitting on them wants honestly till they get it etc Concrete operations children think in concrete terms very matter of fact and literal Consider what draws you to another person and what is your love map