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Week 9 of Notes

by: Katie Warren

Week 9 of Notes Psyc 3221

Katie Warren
GPA 3.48

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About this Document

Chapter 8
Social Psychology
Kendell Thornton
Class Notes
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This 6 page Class Notes was uploaded by Katie Warren on Friday March 18, 2016. The Class Notes belongs to Psyc 3221 at East Carolina University taught by Kendell Thornton in Winter 2016. Since its upload, it has received 23 views. For similar materials see Social Psychology in Psychlogy at East Carolina University.


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Date Created: 03/18/16
Social Psychology 3/14/16 Answer options: 1. Strongly Disagree 2. Disagree 3. Neutral 4. Agree 5. Strongly Agree Questions for the class: 1. I believe in each relationship that each partner should expect to make personal sacrifices for the sake of the relationship 2. I am confident that given significant time effort and patients that most problems can be worked out between relationship partners 3. I think that when two people truly love each other that a close relationship could last a lifetime 4. I am not the kind of person that believes in one night stands 5. I couldn’t imagine going to a dating service or placing a personal add to find a partner 6. Before I become physically intimate with someone I would need to get to know that person really well on an emotional level 7. When it comes to personal relationships that in order to find the right person you have to be the right person 8. In my opinion any threat to monogamy represents a threat to a stability of a romantic relationships 9. My significant other is the single most important person in my life 10. I am certain that within the context of loving supportive relationships that partners mature in ways they never thought possible This exercise was to Measure the romanticism scale and how ideal you are. CLASS DISCUSSION: Research suggests that men are more romantic than women.  Men tend to fall in love quicker than women and tend to have the romantic expectations to bring flowers and stuff. Most women are more likely to live up to the ideas but men are the ones who have to follow through and do it. Men are more romantic in their minds than in actions.  Women are taught at a young age to have boundaries, have a reality check and have consequences right at the forefront of their minds.  Women have sex with the men that they love, they need to emotional connection and men love the women who have sex with them. o Conditioning process: wanting to get him to like you by having sex with you.  Why is he cheating, because he can, probably has nothing to do with you. Misattribution of love and arousal.  Arron Dune study done bridge study with the two different bridges. o With arousal the man felt more for the interviewer than on the cement bridge. Came up with the two factor theory of love. o Two Factor Theory of Love:  First factor suggests that there is a general physical arousal.  The second factor then attributed to that person in the environment.  In a new relationship there is general physical arousal and this is attributed to the other person when you are just excited about getting to know this person and they are so new. This is the misattribution of arousal. The person just went with you on these fun events and “dates.” The thrill dies and the excitement goes away. People rationalize afterwards that the person is just not enough anymore and they have to get someone new. Arousal-Facilitation Theory:  Finding that general arousal will enhance any ongoing cognitive processing that is going on. If you are already fearful of the situation then arousal makes it worse or if you are in a good mood arousal makes you into a better mood! Ongoing process and we are commonly misattributing the arousal to that person who is closest to you. o More common when you live with them and you think it is all them and blame it all on them or give the good mood credit to them. Self-Fulfilling Prophecy:  From above statement. We develop the idea that they are always going to be like this and it is just who they are. Thinking they are something that they might not be. You created the ideas in your own little mind. You are the more responsible for the subjective reality and cognitive framework and beliefs are what create your reality more than the external objective reality. Cognitive reality effects your emotion more than the truth. It is the experience that is great. Not him or her. He/she just happened to be in the space with you when you had the experience.  When you look at it you discover that they were NEVER the cause of your great feeling. It never really had to do with the other person. They just helped you allow yourself to experience the feelings you feel when in love. When you are born you are a bundle of love and then conditioned out of that. When you meet someone the romantic relationship allows you to put yourself back into that situation of being love again. It is a burden to know this stuff because it is really you and your responsibility to make yourself happy. You can’t blame your boyfriend or girlfriend because you will wear them down if you do. They cannot really fulfill you! You are not taking the responsibility of your own emotions and feelings. It is your responsibility to help yourself be happy. Question in class: you trying to be better for the other person and by doing that you are a better person overall Michelangelo effect: Women see their boyfriend as a work in progress and how you can always help them be better. Literally you can interact in a manner that allows and individual to come into their own. You are there to give them fearlessness and helping them inhabit what they want to be without fear. Your partner should help you be fearless. The individual should not worry about losing you and this helps them grow. There are cons to this also. Not always good to try to shape someone and you need to watch out for what you want because you might get it and that is so not good. Class Notes: Wednesday 3/16/18 Class was canceled Class Notes 3/18/16 Equality:  The world is not fair. Nothing is equal and you will not be paying more if you are making more. If the woman makes less and you don’t have shared accounts then she is paying a higher percentage of her income and that is not equality. In relationships it is important that they are equal as possible. Exchange:  With a friend you keep score and you help each other out when needed. But you keep up with what the other has done and paid.  Works best in a love relationship when the couple is still in the early stages of the relationship. They feel like they are equal and putting into the relationship an equal amount. Not always the case but often works well in the beginning of the relationship. Communal: situation by having a relationship of giving all you have and then taking what you need.  Stuff is equitable, the relationship has more than just money so they split other activities too. Like cooking and planning activities. This makes the relationship feel equal, even though it isn’t exactly, it is equitable. If both of you think your winning then there is no problem. It is only a problem when one feels cheated and slighted, imbalanced.  There may always be an exchange in the relationship even if it is communal, since no one is keeping score!  If you have strong feelings about something you should just do it because they will feel strong about others can do those things. o Professor relationship: His relationship with wife and a fight they had. His wife wanted a fuzzy toilet seat and he didn’t want it. This was a deal breaker for him. He said that his wife is usually right so they do not argue that much about stuff.  There is a difference between your needs and wants. Don’t pursue the wants as if they are needs because there will be violence in the relationship. This goes back to the wave thing, and all of our ups and downs and correlations and bringing each other out of needs and wants. Desire is the crucks of the biscuit. You create a problem when you think you need something that you just want. When you remember who you are and they forget you can help them and vice versa!  Bottom line: figure it out, you don’t really need anything from your partner. They are just like, the world is a bowl of ice-cream. Ice cream is perfect, you got your ice cream. With whip cream on top makes it better even though you don’t need it. Your partner is like the whip cream, they are a bonus in life and they are not necessary.  They mythology and media tells us that we need it and it is nottt true. We are social and need relationships to be okay, but we don’t need that one person. We obsess over them like they are a need even though they are not. We feel like we need them even though we really might not. It is okay to be alone.  Pheromones and attractiveness, reproduction are all factors. Doesn’t have to be the ONE.  Fear of not having someone happens with getting obsessed with people.  Prenuptial: planning for it to not work. Exit strategy. True love, genuine relationship you would want the best for them even if you are not with them. With your partner in crime you really are in that relationship. Are you in it for them or for you? Would support them if they left you in a state of forgetting themselves. You don’t need the pre-nump if you have a relationship where you support each other. There is real respect in your relationship and you will stay committed even if they are lost so you don’t need a relationship like that. o Jealousy: you want to force them to be with you! It is a manipulation and a form of forcefulness. You want them to spend more time with you and it is controlling them. You shame and blame and that is jealousy.  With forcing them you ruin the whole week and your whole “thing” for a while. You will be mad at each other. You train people how to treat you. So you need to make a point of how you want to be treated and follow through that way. Women should not allow the man to control her and act like it is okay. Needs to be fair and equal.  You need to find what it is that makes the relationship equitable and everything needs to be negotiable and able to be communicated. You need to be able to grow, change and it is on-going. Need to be willing to revisit, renegotiate, re-deal the relationship. When you give all you got then the person cannot expect anything more. When you both do all you can do then that either will be okay with your partner or not and that’s when you know if they are for you or not. You have to be willing to help each other in life. You both need to want the relationship and want to both stick around with each other.  If you think something then that’s what you think, probably won’t change.  You will learn the truth and reality about that person and you know they don’t need NEED you. You are extra in their lives. Don’t take the relationship for granted because you are just fluff for each other and make life better for each other. There is a constant reevaluation and making the other persons time worth it to stay with you.  Jealousy is normal and it probably served us well in the past way back but now we don’t really need it since there is so much variety in finding people now. Jealousy does not make since anymore and it is not a good thing to act on that anymore. It will cause problems with you partner. Control and power wars are terrible in a relationship. Relationships are for positive time and there is no need for competition and arguing.


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