Chapter 5 H_D_FS 1610 - 01
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Date Created: 10/06/15
Chapter 5 Attraction and Mate Selection Attraction The Basis for Liking Someone We de ne attraction as the experience of evaluating another individual positively The Basis of Attraction is the aspect of a person that tends to make him or her appealing to others Personality What Do We Like About Others Personality the relatively stable and distinctive qualities that characterize and individual that have some coherence or internal organization to them and that in uence how the person behaves in and adapts to the world 0 We as people prefer good people over quotfunquot people 0 Research shows the people who have better personalities were found more attractive The Pratfall Effect is the tendency for a few endearing aws to make an otherwise wonderful person even more attractive Others feel more human which boosts our con dence to approach theminterest with them Proximity Liking People Who Are Near Us If people are not likely to see each other on a normal basis they are less likely to develop an intimate relationship 0 Proximity may signal familiarity and similarity Similarity Liking People Who Are Like Us A sense of similarity is responsible for the Pratfall effect We like to think of ourselves as perfect with a few small aws Phantom Other Technique is a research procedure in which participants are asked to make judgments about a person believed to be real but is in fact a ction constructed by the researchers Complementarity is the idea that people are attracted to those who possess traits that they themselves lack Generally people do not report being more attracted to individuals who they think have personality traits that they lack themselves People are more attracted to those with values and backgrounds that are similar to their own Similarity matters less when it comes to personality Similarity becomes threatening when others are in painsuffering Familiarity Liking What We Know Humans and other animals tend to prefer stimuli that they have been exposed to over stimuli they have never experienced o The Mere Exposure Effect is a preference for a stimulus that is familiar and experienced often over stimulus that is unfamiliar All else being equal we are more attracted to people who are familiar that is people to whom we have previously been exposed and who have thus proven themselves to be harmless Reciprocity Liking People Who Like Us We are more likely to like people who like us We are attracted to people who we know are already attracted to us especially those who have shown themselves to be selective Balance Theory is when people desire consistency among their thoughts social relationships and feelings Better looking people are more desirable but ourjudgments of how likely it is that someone will like us in return matters for their overall appeaL A Potential His Her HisHer Partner s Physical X Probability of Desirabilit Attractivene Accepting you Romantic and Sexual Attraction Romantic Attraction is the experience of nding someone desirable as a potential intimate partner this is also called sexual attraction This is different then a general attraction Physical Appearance How Much Does It Matter It is often the rst clue of interest People especially men like others who are more attractive Most powerful predict of a second date How ever people worry about being rejected 0 The Matching Phenomenon is the tendency for partners in intimate relationships to be similar in physical attractiveness People tend to have a quotWhat is beautiful is goodquot stereotype aka The Halo Effect 0 People tend to think that people that are attractive are smarter friendlier and nicer overall 0 Attractive people are slightly happier than their less attractive peers People who are considered more attractive may very well be nicer and friendlier 0 They are treated as if they were nicer and friendlier o This prompts them to be nicer and friendlier What Makes Someone Attractive People tend to agree who is attractive People like people who have symmetrical faces Attractive Features by sex Females quotBaby Facedquot large eyes small nose small chin full lips Males quotStrong and dominatequot strong jaws Broad foreheads some babyfaced features signal warmth and friendliness What females nd attractive depends on their menstrual cycle Romantic Attraction in LongTerm vs Short Term Relationships Some would argue that nding someone physically appealing is by itself not a strong foundation for a longterm relationship There is a positive correlation between men s attractiveness and time spent interacting with women When asked students who had shortterm ings said that physical attractiveness was extremely important In longterm relationships women and men agree that they were attracted to their personality Strategic Pluralism is the idea that humans have developed the capacity to pursue longterm relationships or shortterm relationships as their circumstances warrant Sexual strategies theory is an evolutionary perspective on attraction and mate selection that tires to explain that qualities men and women look for when they pursue longterm versus shortterm relationships Romantic Attraction in Different Contexts Misattribution of arousal is the tendency to mistakenly believe that physical arousal stemming form one cause is actually the result of another cause a source of situational effects on romantic and sexual attraction A similar phenomenon takes place in singles bars as it gets closing time Individuals that we would not nd attractive in daylight start to look better and better This is known as the beer goggles affect Males standards tend to be lower for short term relationships vs females tend to be higher for shortterm relationships Women devote more energy to longterm relationships while short term are often pursued for resources or status Unrequited Love Unrequited love is a romantic attraction that is not reciprocated by the object of the attraction People could possibly receive bene ts from these partners 0 People are often optimistic about the potential for reciprocity in these relationships 0 Being in love is rewarding Taking into account the potential of rewards of being attracted to someone may help explain the phenomenon of stalking Stalking is unwanted and distributing attention from someone seeking to start or resume a romantic relationship Mate Selection From Chemistry to Connection Mate selection is the process through which a committed relationship if formed We see a poor relationship between male preference and mate selection 0 Speed dating is an arranged social event where unacquainted people talk brie y with every potential romantic partner each person identi es which others he or she whishes to see again if that wish reciprocated a date can be scheduled Proximity Making Interaction Possible Proximity is the nearness or physical closeness a factor that can promote interpersonal contact and relationship formation We are most likely to form a relationship with someone who we are physically close to because these are the people with whom we are most likely to interact with First Moves Signaling Availability and lnterest Men are more likely to initiate interactions but women are more likely to send nonverbal gestures We look for nonromantic excuses to interact Behavioral Synchrony is the tendency for partners who are mutually involved and attracted to mimic each other s movements unconsciously Proceptivity is the receptiveness or a nonverbal signal shown by one person to another indicating that it would be acceptable to initiate a conversation SelfDisclosure Knowing and Being Known The Social penetration theory is a framework outlining how the breadth of personal disclosures exchanged by two people affect the development of the relationship between them Disclosure reciprocity is responding to someone s personal disclosure by immediately revealing something equally personal 0 This increases people s feelings of closeness and intimacy Too much disclosure too fast makes people uncomfortable People who are seen as indiscriminately disclosing tend to be liked less Some topics are consistently avoided Some disclosures may never be appropriate quotStanger on a plane phenomenonquot Courtship Developing Commitment Stage theory is any theory of relationship formation that describes relationships as developing through a speci c sequence of steps Conclusion and Main Points Mate selection is strongly affected by the proximity of different types of partners and people generally for friendships and relationships with people who live nearby Research on the behavioral exchanges that lead to mate selection ma have more potential for predicting which couples might stay together and which ones will not to the extent that an exchange of behaviors may lead to changes over time 0 Because forming a lasting relationship involves both selecting a mate and being selected relationship formation requires that partners have attractive qualities and that they interact in a certain way