Weekly Notes: Week 2 CMN 134 - Interpersonal Communication by Professor Puckering
Weekly Notes: Week 2 CMN 134 - Interpersonal Communication by Professor Puckering CMN 134
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This 9 page Class Notes was uploaded by Brittney Bui on Monday October 12, 2015. The Class Notes belongs to CMN 134 at University of California - Davis taught by Professor Puckering in Summer 2015. Since its upload, it has received 30 views. For similar materials see Interpersonal Communication in Communication Studies at University of California - Davis.
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Date Created: 10/12/15
Lecture 3 Tues 106 C Puckering CMN 134 SelfPresentation Communicating Identity Identity the person we think we are and communicate to others Impression Manadement an individual s conscious attempt to exercise control over selected behaviors in order to make a desirable impression My do we engage in selfpresentation 1 SelfEsteem 2 Identity Development 0 Who am I What do I like and dislike 3 Social and Material Awards 0 Ex Asking someone out job interview 4 Social Approval 0 Validation from people How do we engage in selfpresentation 1 Nonverbal 10x more important than nonverbal cues 2 Verbal Life is DRAMA Dramaturdv Ervind Goffman Purpose To examine the elements good communicators use 1 Actor the roles you play 0 You play so many roles with the many people you interact with on a daily basis You play the roommate role the daughter role the student role the employee role etc But what s important to consider is that these roles are still ALL YOU 0 The role you are playing depends on the situation and whom you are talking to 0 Sometimes you can be playing more than one role Ex Coworker and gh end 2 Audience the characters to whom you play 0 Ex A teacher talking to students 3 Stage context of the drama 0 Where you are influences the choices you make although you are still talking about the same thing 0 Ex The audience and actor could have a conversation in a classroom coffee shop or living room The stage can change which makes the interaction different too 4 Script event schemata that exists in your head 0 What you anticipate will happen 0 Expectations for what to say and how to act 0 The script is NOT what you actually say 5 Performance skill in performing what actually takes place 0 Memorize script 6 Audience Reactions feedback from those around us 0 How well are we performing Front Stade vs Back Stage Front Stage where we enact our impression management performances for an audience We present our best self make positive first impressions and hide the negative traits We cannot be front stage 247 because it would be exhausting But that does NOT mean we are being fake Back Stage when we let our guard down and do not have to work as hard to stay in character Ex being yourself with your best friends lt s important to know WHEN it s appropriate to be front amp back stage Strategies lngratiation using strategies to help you appear likable 1 ComplimentinCl 0 Be sincere Do not compliment only to get what you want 0 Be accurate and realistic Ex You should totally be a Victoria s Secret model not accurate and subjective 2 Opinion Conformitv o Intermittent agreement is best but be careful not to overdo it 3 Renderind Favors o Favor is valued by the recipient o lnvolves a sacrifice for the giver o No perceived ulterior motives I SelfPromotion the goal is to be seen as competent 0 We are afraid to selfpromote because we don t want to come off as bragging or be wrong 0 But you cannot rely on other people to promote for you 0 Characteristics of Braddind o Emphasizing a personal and chronic quality of power status or wealth o Exaggerating emphasizing or elaborating how you accomplished the achievement with no effort or how much the achievement benefited others 0 Emphasizing the ways in which you are better than others at a skill or a task 0 Know the difference between Bragging VS Effective selfpromotion Perceptions of Bradders o Competent but less likable Ex Donald Trump Your goal is to be both competent AND likable o Masculine c When females brag to males males do NOT perceive them as more competent When females brag to females they seem more competent When males brag to males they seem more competent Tactics for creating CREDIBLE claims of competence i Accomplishments made known by a 3rd person ii Draw attention to impediments that have been overcome Ex Overcoming a death in the family iii Engage in selfhandicapping Create an explanation for potential failure Do it in moderation If you overuse it it starts becoming excuses Ex I have an exam on Tuesday that I am not ready for I stress about all the things I have to do that week But it s okay I m going to allow myself to fail this test because it s not worth that much If I get a C I ll be okay with it Attraction not all romantic attraction Attraction Theory 1 Task Attraction someone who does something really well and are drawn to them 0 Ex Someone you want to do a group project with 2 Physical Attraction 0 Ex Wow you re hot 3 Social Attraction someone fun to hang out and socialize with 4 Relational Attraction someone who has relationship potential longterm connection emotions are involved 5 Fatal Attraction the thing that draws you towards something is the thing that breaks you up 0 Ex The Bad Boy Phenomenon o This talks about breakup rather than attraction 6 Supportiveness good support system give advice shoulder to cry on 7 Character Attraction attracted to a person s values morals ethics and personality Reationships can be based on more than one of these Predictors of Attraction 1 Similarity O O O O O Perceived VS Actual Perceived It seems like we have a lot in common Actual We do have a lot in common Both strong predictors of attraction but ACTUAL attraction is even stronger Ex Dating sites match people who have common interests with you 2 Complementarity O O 0 Do opposites attract YES people are attracted to narcissists Ex Fatal attraction Stay together l BEHAVIORS RESOURCES Neat vs Sloppy Rich vs Poor Break up l ATTITUDES VALUES Religion vs Atheist Values Trust vs Doesn t Value Trust 3 Proximity STRONGEST O O O 0 Can outweigh similarity as a basis for attraction You build relationships with people you cross paths with Conversation is based on proximity We talk to the people who are near to us and not necessarily who we have similar interests with Lecture 3 Thurs 108 C Puckering CMN 134 Predictors of Attraction Cont 4 Communication Skills 1 Warmth and Kindness o We are drawn to people who make us feel good 2 Sociabilitv o We are drawn to extroverts and expressive people 3 Communication Competence o Composure amp knowledge people who know what good communication looks like Successful communicatively competent people actually have these skills NOT people who think they have these skills but really don t What determines if you re a good communicator or not is if the other person understands and reacts well to you Power amp Dominance VS Warmth amp Kindness The Bad Boy Phenomenon Power amp Dominance women are drawn to power amp dominance but only for so long If there is no warmth amp kindness attraction levels go down Warmth amp Kindness if a man is only warm amp kind and NOT powerful amp dominant then the man appears weak Powerfu Combination Warmth amp Kindness WITH powerful amp dominant traits Relational Develooment Relational maintenane Banning Differentiating Integrating Cireumeerlbing Gaming Gaming tagethelr lntensifying I Stagnatan apart Experimenting Avaiding Initiating Terminating Initiation 0 Some level of attraction 0 Brief 0 Impression management partners try to create favorable impressions by using small talk breaking the ice and making sure there s no baggage in conversation 0 Carefully observe each other for cues regarding personality attitudes and attraction 2 Experimenting o Throwing pieces of personal information to see how the other person reacts start to reveal personality 0 Engage in small talk 0 Uncovers topics for further communication start to make predictions about each other 0 Usually relaxed uncritical and noncommittal helps people get rid of nerves 0 Helps people reduce uncertainty about each other 0 Still concerned with image management 3 lntensifying o Forming a relationship with someone o Satisfaction and excitement are high 0 Who you really are is exposed o Enough experiences with the other person to have shortcuts to communicate like inside jokes use more informal forms of address 0 Directly expressing commitment to each other like I don t know what I d do without you 0 More frequent use of we and our 4 Integrating 0 Mutual sharing of similar attitudes tastes and interests developed because of relationship ex Liking the same music as your partner 0 Social circles will start to merge We are one I doing life together What happens to me happens to you 0 Exchange of intimacy trophies Ex Friendship bracelets matching tattoos I know you re going to love this gift 0 5 Bonding 0 Relationship is defined by a performance of a public ritual that announces a formally contracted commitment and legitimizes the relationship 0 Ex Godparent Best ManMade of Honor 0 Some people will never experience this more move back down 6 Differentiation o Conflicts arise o Yours and mine 0 Possible to go from Integrating l Differentiating may skip bonding 0 Normal happens often in relationships 7 Circumscribing 0 Restricted communication 0 Some topics become offlimits and you stop talking about it 0 Do not want to stay at this stage for too long If you do it will lead to Stagnating 8 8 Stagnating 0 Communication is infrequent rigid and formal You may revert to using small talk and having businesslike interactions 0 No more intimacy o If it continues it will lead to Avoiding 9 9 Avoiding 0 Now you don t even want to engage in small talk or see them 0 Very little communication or interaction o If you stay here too long it will lead to Termination 10 10 Termination 0 Closure Announce the upcoming separation Summarize what has occurred during the relationship Determine the future of the relationship 0 It s possible to go back to bonding but after 810 it s VERY difficult because of all the trust that has been violated Movement Throuqh Stages 0 Generally systematic and sequential May be forward OR backward Occurs within stages ls always to a new place Uncertaintv Reduction Theorv Basic Principles 1 We dislike uncertainty and are motivated to reduce it 2 We communicate to get information and reduce uncertainty We don t like the unknown because it makes us comfortable Small talk makes you more certain about interactions with each other and makes it more predictable for future interactions Sometimes we gather information about our partner from a third party to deal with uncertain situations But sometimes gathering information can make it worse Stranger Uncertainty l don t even know you SelfUncertainty ls this a relationship that I want 0 Partner Uncertainty How is my partner feeling about me 0 Relationship Uncertainty What is the state of our relationship Especially after this big fight Experimenting 2 to Integrating 4 motivation to learn more about each other lnformation can INCREASE uncertainty 0 Competind Relationships partner wants to spend time with someone else 0 Unexplained loss of intimacv all of a sudden they emotionally check out partner and relationship uncertainty 0 Sexual Behavior sexual infidelity specific to romantic relationship Deception lies Why Relationship uncertainty 0 Change in personalitvvalue extrovert to introvert Betravind confidences telling your secrets to others You need to resolve these issues or else it will be problematic and lead to termination