INTERPERSNL COMMNCTN CMST 2010
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This 29 page Class Notes was uploaded by Gaetano Price on Tuesday October 13, 2015. The Class Notes belongs to CMST 2010 at Louisiana State University taught by S. Pride-Shaw in Fall. Since its upload, it has received 17 views. For similar materials see /class/222684/cmst-2010-louisiana-state-university in Communication Studies at Louisiana State University.
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Date Created: 10/13/15
0 Relationships 0 Any sort of social connection that we have 0 Apprehension I Don t like speaking in public I Some people don t like talking to others shy I State 0 Underlying feeling for talking to another person 0 Shy I Trait 0 Deals with situations 0 Can talk to best friend all day nervous about asking someone out 0 Types of interpersonal relationships I Circumstance o Entered into with no control over 0 Family parent s friend s child assigned roommate I Choice 0 We decide thru our own choices to enter in relationships 0 What we look for in relationships 0 Similarities o Attraction appearance 0 Proximity 0 Friendly smile telling a joke group of people around them 0 If they want to be your friend 0 Feeling lonely 0 Why we start relationships I Attraction o What motivates us to talk to that person 0 Can have short term attraction 0 Don t last long I They say two words and the attraction is gone 0 Long term attraction 0 Attractions last a long time All have different attractions 0 Don t have to act on attraction o In committed relationships see someone else don t act on it o 1 Physical attraction 0 We all have different types 0 Not long term 0 2 Charisma credibility competence 0 Suggest certain traits we look for I Friendly funny exciting to be around I Reputation 7 look for positive reputation I Does this person communicate in a way that is competent 3 Proximity 0 Become friends with neighbors because they are around a lot 0 People we sit next to in class 4 Similarities 0 We look for things we have in common 0 From same area studying same thing work at same job 5 Complementary 0 Not do opposites attract but do they complement each other 0 One more outgoing one more shy I Outgoing rubs off on shy 6 Relational potential 0 Does this person have potential to meet our needs 0 Don t want to be lonely need someone to talk to 0 Need notes for a test 0 Not a negative thing 7 Reciprocating liking 0 Someone appears they want to be our friend 0 We are attracted to people who like us Can not physically build all attractions Attraction starts relationship does not maintain 0 Need trust commitment investment 0 Commitment is not a feeling we are committed for long time 0 Put forth effort time money feelings and emotions o 10 stages of relationships Was trying to understand what stage people are in in their relationships by looking at communication Important to know what stage you re in to know what to say whether to disclose or not 0 Relational dialectics Tensions we have in relationships 1 Autonomyconnectedness Sometimes we want to do things or having others involved 2 Noveltypredictability New things in relationships or predictable things 3 Opennessclosedness Whether to disclose or not Four ways to handle tensions l Neutralization 0 Talk about and negotiate relationship 2 Selection 0 We can chose to let the tension happen 3 Separation 0 When we allow attention 0 Doctor can t talk about patients to his wife 0 4 Reframing 0 Change the way you look at that tension 0 Predictable life when you do something different it s exciting o Friendships and romantic relationships 0 Both very important in our lives voluntary choice We decide who we want to be friends with o Friendship Learn a lot from them First relationships we form on our own 0 Stages of friendships 1 Role limited interaction 0 First stage awareness 0 Follow society roles on how to talk and act 2 Friendly relations 0 Starting to share disclosures 0 Find out if you know the same people similarities 0 Can sometimes realize that there is nothing to build relationships on 3 Moving towards friendship 0 Starting to share more about ourselves 0 Make plans together 0 Every Saturday watch football games go to the movies every Thursday watch Grey s Anatomy 4 Nascent friendship 0 We ve become friends communication becomes more intimate 5 Stabilizing friendship 0 Have committed friendship hope it continues 0 Not all relationships go this far 0 This person s opinion is one you value most 6 Waning friendships 0 Relationship starts to fall apart 0 Reasons why 0 Relational dialects 7 con icts I Predictable boring o Competing demands 7 times where things demand our time I Father being very sick lose touch with friends 0 Personal changes I Big changes in life friendships change I You go to LSU friend from high school goes elsewhere 0 Sexual attraction I When Harry met Sally I Possible but hard and can cause problems 0 Geographic difference I More difficult to stay in touch I Technology makes it easier 0 Important in our lives helps us learn invaluable 0 We don t give friendships the work they deserve 0 Romantic relationships I Voluntary I Some unique can t replace romantic relationships I Four things we look at o l Idea ofpassion 0 Positive feelings towards person 0 Can change over time o 2 Commitment 0 Look toward the future 0 3 Intimacy 0 Level of closeness we feel to another person 0 Happens thru self discloser o 4 Love 0 Strong feeling of liking towards another person 0 Can love without commitment 0 Can be in committed relationship without love I Styles of love 3 primary 3 secondary 0 Primary 0 l Eros 0 Erotic love very passionate exciting 0 Starts suddenly end quickly 0 2 Storge o Comfortable 0 Always count on it being there 0 3 Ludus o Playful love 0 Flirtation to an extent 0 After bad break up best form of love to enter in 0 Secondary o l Pragma o Ludus and storge 0 Practical form of love 0 Play around with love until you find right person for you then enter storge o 2 Mania 0 Eros and ludus 0 spring break love 0 Connected with lust o 3 Agape o Eros and storge o Passionate love at same time comfortable 0 Love that parent feels for child o How to build committed romantic relationships I Stages I Growth start 0 1 Individuals 0 Have to know who you are 0 2 Invitational communication 0 Let other person know we are aware of them 0 Environmental spoiling I Idea that we see someone we are attracted to talk to them they speak decide against perusing o 3 EXplorational communication 0 Looking for similarities 0 Environmental spoiling can happen 0 4 Intensifying communication 0 Sharing great deal about yourself 0 Large disclosures 0 Can identify thru language I Pet names private jokes 0 5 Commitment 0 Not all relationships make it here can sometimes take years 0 Love can be in any stage I Navigation 0 What happens in middle 0 What you do to continue relationship 0 l Relational culture 0 Rules and regulations we have in relationships 0 Never go to bed angry o Gives predictability o 2 Place making 0 Make space for other person in our lives I Put pictures up have a drawer for them 0 Emotional and physical space 0 3 Everyday interactions 0 To keep relationship going talk everyday I Why longdistance relationships are hard I Deterioration o l Dyadic breakdown 0 We notice breakdown in communication 0 Not talking everyday o 2 Interpyshc phase 0 We start to wonder if there is a problem in relationship 0 3 Dyadic phase 0 Try to talk about problem with partner 0 4 Social support 0 Go to friends and families with relationship problems 0 Signals relationship is about to end Family 0 o o 5 Grave dressings 0 When in relationship go through period of mourning 0 Highlight how change in communication re ects stages I Idea of equality 0 We expect to be treated equal I Safe sex 0 Have to have discussion I Idea of violence and abuse 0 High schoolcollege age group with the most abuse 0 Abuse cycle 0 Honeymoon 7 everything is great Tension Explosion 7 violence and abuse happens Remorse 7 I love you so much I don t know what I was thinking it will never happen again 0 Becomes relational culture 000 Are self de ned 1 Nuclear family I Mom dad children I traditional family 2 Blended family I Onetwo parents have children from previous relationships 3 Single parent family I One parent with childchildren 0 Divorce death decide to have child on own 4 Live in family I People mimic nuclear or blended but not married 0 Homosexuals plenty of celebrities 5 Integrated family I People from different backgrounds 0 Religious cultures ethnicity 6 Boomerang family I Child sent off then come back home I Parents don t want it to happen I Creates new and difficult challenges 7 Commuter family I One parent traveling for work 0 Drive far for work 0 Someone commuting to different pa1ts of country for job Structures for families I 1 All family members perform roles 0 Each role can change communication I 2 Families have responsibilities 0 Doing chores I 3 Families have power structures o 2 types most seen 0 l Positional structure I Like legitimate power I Person has position of authority and uses it 0 I m the mom I said so 0 2 Person oriented structure I Person can in uence a family without haVing power I 4 Look at decision making 0 Takes great deal of communication 0 l Consensus 0 People talking about issue and making decision 0 2 Accommodation 0 Accommodating one member of family 0 3 Defacto 0 One person makes decision for family I 5 Past present future 0 Because families have past and present will have future 0 Creates traditions give nicknames remembering funny jokes I 6 How families are communicating system 0 Idea from systems theory 0 Theory that allows us to take family relationship and connect to us 0 Take metaphor for human body and compare to family I Organs work together to keep person alive Interdependence 7 connected to one another and our decisions affect others 0 Families have to be able to adapt 0 Marriage death children I Because of connection must communicate 0 Communication triangles 0 parent parent parent child sibling sibling 0 Family life cycle I Go through stages I 7 stages I 1 Married without children I 2 Married with preschool children 0 Kids 5 or younger I 3 Married with school age children 0 Elementary junior high I 4 Families with adolescence 0 Children on cusp of adult hood I 5 Launching families 0 Parents ready kids to leave I 6 Empty nest I 7 Retirement 0 Way we communicate through stages changes Work relationships 0 Important skill to maintain how to build and maintain good work relationship 0 Companies have hierarchies 0 Network analysis I To nd out how people really communicate in an organization usually not by a hierarchy STAR 7 person that has most info usually the secretary Outliers 7 less involved and knowledgeable o The chain of command does not tell use about how people communicate daily we use network analysis to nd out 0 Work message I Topicstypes of communication that go on in workplace I Types 0 1 Task 7 based talking aboutjobrelated issues 0 2 Maintenance messages social messages used to build relationships 0 3 Human relations messages of praise and motivation 0 Relationships I 1 Superior 0 Subordinate how employees communicate with the boss I 2 Customer relations 0 All employees are a customer service representation to a certain extent 0 When we talk about work outside of work we become customer service representatives I 3 Peercoworker 0 People who are roughly at the same level in the organization and how they communicate what friends you develop at work important for how you like a job and opportunitieshelp that come about from them 0 types 0 l Informational peer connections we have in which the communication is focused on work taskbased message 0 2 Collegial peers taskbased and maintenance based messages included in relationship 0 Help us feel more connected to workplace in relationship 0 3 Special peers friendships that more beyond the workplace become good friends even outside of work 0 Romantic relationships in the workplace I 78000 people enter these relationships per year Reasons why these relationships develop 0 1 Proximity 0 2 Interpersonal attraction 0 Have things in common with coworkers 0 3 Romantic attraction o Aspects of love in the workplace 0 4 Convenience 0 People work so much sometimes 6070 hours per week therefore its easier to date someone who is already around all the time at work 0 You don t have time for much else outside of work 0 5 Safety 0 Workers are interviewed screened background checked etc therefore people know their coworkers are probably fairly safe people 0 6 Arousal 7 see people who are driven smart hardworking etc in workplace and these qualities can be attractive and arousing Many employers allow these relationships today because they can benefit an organization 0 Why friendships are important at work 1 Networking 2 Feel connected to workplace 3 Enjoy work 0 Quinn looks at romantic relationships at work 3 motivators 1 Love 0 Sincerely love on another 2 Ego 0 Think they deserve it 3 Job 0 To benefit their career 3 types of romantic relationships 0 l Sincere love 0 2 Fling based on ego 0 Many people don t usually find out o 3 Utilitarian combo of job and ego o The one organizations have a problem with 0 May be linked to sexual harassment o 2 types of sexual harassment Quid pro quo 7 promise of a reward or threat of punishment for sexual favors 0 Not many cases of this arise 0 People know you can t do it Hostile environment 7 any sort of unwelcomed verbalnonverbal communication of a sexual nature that interferes with work o Majority of sexual cases come from this area Computer imediated communication Interpersonal mediated communication 0 I In our interpersonal relationships there are sometimes mediated communication with an in uence of time and space like mail video fax etc 0 Computer mediated communication is parasocial I Has the ability to mimic a facetoface interaction 0 Parasocial interaction I How people develop a connection with people through mediated forms 0 Hyper personal CMC I Instance in which people share a lot of person information about themselves on the computer 0 Interactivity I 3 types 0 Interpersonalinteractivity 0 Face to face two way communication 0 TeXting in person conversation o Informationalinteractivity o Seeking info 0 Human computer 0 We interact with our computers 0 Look at the idea of time 0 Time I Synchronous 0 Real times situation 0 Instant message video conference I Asynchronous 0 Has a delay in the communication 0 Email I Technology is becoming more and more synchronous closely mimicking real time 0 Space I Physical space 0 The things around us 0 Do not share same physical space over email 0 Perceptual space 0 Use the computer to create a space 0 Can create a webpage pro le on social site 0 Conceptual space 0 Space we create as we interact with the computer 01152008 Went over syllabus 01172008 Types of communication 0 Sendreceivefeedback o Nonverbal hand motions body language music facial expressions 0 Sign language is BOTH signs are verbal the way those signs are portrayed could be nonverbal 8095 is said to be nonverbal 0 Setting context whenwhere communication is taking place 0 Continuous we never stop communicating Communication is a process steps are followed to make it work right never stopsstarts m llo n generally our focus for class lm i communication is regulatory and helps us control our environmentpeople around us if possible Laswell s model mass communication standpoint asked a series of questions instead of creating a picture or diagram questions are 0 Who 0 Said what 0 To whom o In what channel what method written text message face to face 0 To what effect what influence did it have Shannon and Weaver expanded Laswell s model into the linear communication model put it in picture form and added a few things to it Noise interference Shannon and Weaver say there are 4 different types of noise 0 Physiological interferences inside our body stomach growling 0 Physical external forms of noise talkingcell phone rings 0 Psychological selftalkmood 0 Semantic languagewords we don t understand whenif parent s don t understand lol Interactive Communication Model circle added Field of experience and feedback Most current form transactional model of communication if we re going to communicate we need to have shared experience in a subject different languages make it hardimpossible to communicate Call that experience of knowing things shared field of experience model also added time 1 2208 Activity Who have you communicated with in the past 24 hours and how many times Priti 8 Mom 1O Falguni bhen 1O Preyesh 5 Bo 4 Devang patel 4 Chirag 1 Bindi 3 Buber s Theory different types of communication some is interpersonal some isn t 3 types ml treating other people as objects very impersonal majority of our communication experiences more personal don t see them as unique don t know them enough how relationships start discussions about anything more than the evident subway talking about the number of customers or what the employee there is doing this weekend a in what we use in our very special relationships understand and know the person consider them unique rarest form of communication form used when both parties know a lot about each other lri39l wau cuminwun inst lm 7 39 1 turmmu 7n defined as the selective systematic unique and ongoing process of transaction between people who reflect and build personal knowledge of one another and create shared meanings o Selective choose the people to have interpersonal relationships 0 Systematic different contextsettingsenvironments 0 Unique can t be replaced very important to us 0 Ongoing doesn t start and stop keeps going 0 Transaction back and forth 0 Personal knowledge share something about yourself 0 Creating shared meanings one has to think of ways to get a thought from their brain to another s by choice of symbolswords Characteristics of interpersonal communication how do we know if you re in an interpersonal relationship I Coordinated interactions both people have to workcommunicate with the other person can t have a one sided friendship a Selfdisclosure ll Awareness both have to be aware of each other one person is other isn t is known as stalking letting the other know that you are interested in having a conversation lll Enjoyment lV Analyzeevaluate 999 of the time if you analyze and evaluate a friendship you are IN a relationship imagined interactions daydream episodes we have about our relationships create memory organization packets MOP s taking someone out to dinner make sure with an MOP to remember if information is correct like a favorite restaurant or food type gift etc V Influenced by outside forces the way we were brought up experiences Vl Relationships tend to control us instead of us trying to control our relationships Vll All of our interpersonal relationships are constructed and maintained through interpersonal communication Competence the ability to communicate in a personally effective way and in a way that is socially acceptable the more you know and understand about relationships the bettermore competent you become Types of competence ability to create a message that others can understand organize and interpret what s going on around us understand the context in which we are communicating r it all communication experience we play different roles one must be able to behave and communicate appropriately in that role i we have the choice of how we re going to present ourselves the way we do that Includes clothes conversation tones mannered words V Exgzsil mm do we have the ability to reach our goal in communication exchange relationship goals someone to listen a friend etc 01292008 ACTIVITY 5 words that describe you Different Shy Crazy Ambiguous Caring 139s personal view of yourself different from personality personality is genetic Material appearancehairthings of that nature Social relationships we buildroles we have Spiritual values and moralsgoal oriented and things like that We have communication with two different groups of people in our lives and through that communication we develop our self concept more clearly These groups are known as the Particular other and the Generalized other 0 Particular Other people who we have close relationships with have a lot of influence on us example friends family teachers can be coaches etc 0 Direct Definition a particular otherquot labels us WE GET TO CHOOSE WHICH LABELS TO ACCEPT Reflective Appraisal seeing yourself as others see you Uppers downers and vultures vultures are negative also personally attack us 0 Identity Scripts deal with the roles that we have we know how we re supposed to act in certain situationsroles Self handicapping strategy s form of impression management 0 Attachment styles the way we are raised influences our self concept how much care we re given influences who we are 0 Self Concept o Generalized other society at large movies music etc person Johari Window in book if any certain area is bigger the others are naturally smaller Social Penetration also in book looks at what am I sharing about myself quantifies how much we ve shared about ourselves in a relationship Powell s Levels of Communication looks at how much disclosure is going on in a certain relationship experience 5 Cliche with anyone How are you doingquot 4 Factsbiographical I grew up inquot or I studyquot or I have a redquot 3 Attitudespersonal ideas a bit risky start sharing things about ourselves give opinions instead of I saw a movie on Saturday nightquot one would say I saw THE GREATEST MOVIE on Saturday nightquot 2 Personal Feelings share hopesdreamsfears heavy dutyserious plans for future 1 Peak Communication sharing our emotions VERY close people 1312008 Four Functions of interpersonal relationships 1 Gain Information 2 Give Information 3 Identity 4 Meet Interpersonal needs 393 HI m best way to overcome these is to learn more about it and experience 0 State context situation in which we re communicating or building a relationship 0 Trait born in us genetic disposition Relationships are nothing more than a social connection that meets our interpersonal needs Relationships are also a social connection between two people based on their communication Communication is a process and has stages and development 1 illT Zlkll ll139E lti dev g because of a certain situation we re in a relationships elops work classes family mi 7 7 g friends romantic relationships 0 How do we choose Attraction positive feeling or strong feeling of liking for another person Short term attraction 0 Physical attraction Long term attraction Credibility reputation Competence see above definitions and Charisma idea that we look for someone who has a certain personality trait or way they live their lives that we gravitate towards outgoing life of the party Similarities Do these people get mequot Same school major etc Reciprocated liking Complementary can they complement one another a balance of differences and similarities Proximity Relational potential certain needs that need to be met by relationships and we are attracted to some individuals because we feel they may help us meet those needs ll a powerful thing come from what we give to the relationship involves time spend money on the individual share personal information m mni39 w quoti all relationships have a level of commitment it s not a feelingemotion and it s a k to the future loo 3 key ingredient o What IS trust 0 Accountability 0 Trust should be a conscious decision not JUST a feeling 0 Social Exchange Theory mathematically based theory 0 Perceived Rewards Perceived Costs Perceived Benefits 0 Two types of trust 0 Trusting Behavior something we do when we re about to tell something to someone Expectunderstand that the person we re telling has a choice to do something that is beneficial to us or harmful Understand that the decision to tell our secret is completely out of our hands it s in the hands of who you told have to be very aware that everything that happens is dependent upon the other person Believe that the person is going to act in a way that is beneficial to us o Trustworthy Behavior what WE exhibit when someone shares something with us We become away that the person has a certain way they expect us to behave We recognize that the person has confidence in us We also recognize that the person is relying on ushoping that we re going to meet their expectations Respond with the expected behaviors 252008 MARDI GRAS BREAK NO CLASS 272008 EXAM DAY 2122008 APPLICATION PAPER DISCUSSION 2142008 2192008 Frames of reference cognitive structure in our brain organizes past experiences with individuals 0 Selection 0 Selective attention ability to focus on one stimuli at one time verbal or non verbal chose what we want to remember 0 Selective exposure we choose what we want to pay attention to 0 Organization 0 We find ways to categorize things eg if someone says bed comfort or tired we automatically think SLEEP o 4 Schema s Prototypes a set of knowledge or experiences that we have that provides us with a category 0 Person characteristics we look for blonde vs brunette tall vs shon 0 Relation what is socially acceptable and what is not eg son student boyfriend friend etc o Selfmonitoring we re able to look at the relationship and understand how we re supposed to behave we chose if we want to follow the social norms High self monitors assess the relationship and behave in a way that is socially acceptable Low self monitors asses the relationship but choose to behave in the way that suits them best 0 Event experience different events in our lives and we have to figure out how to behave during them Personal constructs more detailed then prototypes still a set of categories but they include judgment pl39m p39suuc ail czlm quot 2 short m bad student M talkative or quiet loud or obnoxious 39 moods and emotions Stereotypes categories with predictions or expectations eg walk into class and believe that all LSU students are stupid and expect everyone to fail the first exam OR walk into class and think all LSU students are genius stereotypes help us further categorize things not always negative and the process IS NOT NEGATIVE Scripts rules for action deal very directly with behavior 0 Episodes 0 Open no specific rules that tell you how to respond 0 Closed behaviors are predicted eg if someone says hi people say hi how are youquot OR if someone says good morningquot the response is good morning to you tooquot 0 Defined episodes we expect to be closed but end up being open hi how are youquot and the response is a life story 3 51 39339 o o 0 M 0 Interpretation give things meaning 0 Implicit personality theory all of the categories from organization and link them together sometimes we look at the categories and make past judgments o Attribution theory Locust how someone responds and why they respond that way 0 Internal or external Stability personality types stable or unstable personality Predictable Specificity how specific the person are are they an introvert or have theyjust had a bad day wwwwewwe O Responsibility personal control can t control temper or taking a certain type of medication that makes them edgy Negotiation o Assimilation we alter what we perceived or what we sawexperienced so it fits our frame of reference eg oh she didn t kick my dog my dog got scared and jumped across the room Accommodation alter our frame of reference eg great person horrible day 2212008 How many members of each species did Moses take aboard the ark Noah s ark Can a man in South Carolina marry his widow s sister he s dead A farmer lost all but 9 of his 17 sheep how many would he have left 9 Does England have a fourth of July Yes not a holiday though How many months have 28 days all 12 How many 2 cent stamps in a dozen 12 stamps O What was the president s name in 1970 George Bush You are a baby bull you have been away from home and need some love to whom do you go Mom or dad no such thing as a mom bull it s a cow You are the pilot of a plane flying from New Orleans to Orlando The copilot is 5 years younger than the pilot and the copilots wife is 3 years older than the pilot The sky is blue the cabin is red How old is the pilot the person s age whom you asked Plane crashes on boarder between US and Canada where do you bury the survivors You don t bury survivors Attending 0 External Information overload Message complexity so much information that you can t remember the important ones Lack of effort we don t hear well because we don t put effort into it tired long day don t care 0 Internal Preoccupation too worried about something else that s going to happen Prejudgment if you already know what someone is going to ask Emotions brings up something that is emotionala problem Select Organize lnterpret Responding o Conversation have 5 steps Greeting anything to get attention Topic priming one of the two is going to let the other know what the conversation is about Conversations heart talk back and about the topic Preliminary processing opposite of topic priming review of talk Closing end conversation 0 Repeat Reorganize HOMES 5 great lakes Recording why do we take notes for class or not take notes for interpersonal relationships 00 2262008 learned system of knowledge behaviors attitudes beliefs values and norms v went around the world and found people from as many countries as he could did surveys about culture 4 ways we differ some consider status very important eg Mexico Italy Spain a Is NOT something you possess b It s not absolute it s a negotiation c French amp Raven how people derive power 6 ways they develop that Reward influence comes from promise of some benefit Coercive opposite of reward it s the threat of a punishment Expert when one person has an expert or is the authority on some set of knowledge or skills that the other person wants iv Legitimate having a certain position what Hofstede was looking at and trying to explore v Referent where we get peer pressure 1 In groups 2 Out groups vi Persuasive sometimes someone is so skilled in communicating that they can use those communication skills to influence someone 2 a Masculine form more competitive more straightforward abrasive aggressive b Feminine way more cooperative emotions more nurturing 3 39 a lndividual based view on culture success is based on individual achievements b Collective view on culture family s success everyone needs to pull together to do goodbetter most Asian cultures as well as Mexican culture do this 4 a High meaning b Low words 2282008 Paper Review Day 342008 Pages 2223 in book Page 34 Page 26 Page 142148 362008 TEST DAY 3112008 any set of language that uses symbols or written language 1 all forms of communication except the communication that requires symbols E hand motions 1 not in the word itself Words have different meaningsexamples 2 language is subjective 6 ways verbal and nonverbal interact 1 emphasizes communications and process hands on hips hand motions tones 2 if someone tells a story and smileslaughs when they tell you they think it to be funny dictates which way to go come here make hand gesture instead of answering yes nod head mwew Triangulation of meaning T hou ht A 9 I I I I I I I I I I I I I I Wordsymbol thingobject wordssymbols that get meaning from being used in certain situations nonverbal and verbal happening at the same time social rulesnorms that influence how we communicate men tend to be more direct than women 39 using direct messages to get what they want 9795quot How does language function and what does it do 0 word choice 0 0 Language that we choose can help us to share our opinionsattitudes o Lookin at our own relationships 0 because we have so many verb tenses in our English language we re able to speak and think about the past present and the future 3132008 someone intentionally misleading another do it deliberately without any prior notification and without bein asked to o o little white lies not to harm the person we do with intent to hurt usually negative reasons withhold information on purpose not the whole truth easier to cover up concealing but taking it a step further providing false information taking into account and making us realize that there are some people that we aren t able to lie to Ways we can use to determine if someone is lying Letting the person know that you believe they re in discomfort Ask questions and prods Alter the information and see if they agree with the story A chink in the defense if you can catch someone in one lie it snowballs Point out where someone has discrepancies Ask for the truth Silence Newewwe 3182008 3202008 3252008 No formal class 3272008 Turned in Paper 412008 a way for us to ask questions patternsmodels for studying human behavior 4 types of e 1 what you re doing at the time you re doing it 2 doin ood in a iven situation 3 i 39 z v theatre 4 i many studies are going on about doingnot doing this 1 2 Make something 3 Change identity 4 Make or foster community 5 6 7 To heal To teach or persuade To deal with a sacred twe fich Wsi trtle all communication acts are performances all of our communication is driven b desire and is driven by conscious and unconscious decisions 2 i are the things that construct our reality governs our performance a cultural and linguistic expectations b the unique characteristics of the speaker 3 you and everyone you know a Theories of performance of everyday life the self is a performed character b Ability to perform is learned Socialization acquisition of knowledge through experience and social situations core of the individual never fixed or stable always in a process none of our roles are false All communication is oen to inte iii retation 6 F i w all performances are drama and so are all communications 1 Drama is associated with conflict 2 forces pulling in opposite directions 3 Inherent in choice All of our performances comprise of verbal and nonverbal communication 432008 Ed 1 Betty 2 Anna 3 Carl 4 David 5 There are man es of conflict Conflicts have 3 parts 1 In order to be in a conflict we have to have some sort of a Hey this is what is bugging mequot beating around the bushquot if it s cold shiver and get a blanket we have to have a connection to have a conflict 9 Process of conflict 1 2 something going on in life that I don t like 3 express our disagreement and try to figure out 4 there are times when we don t find a resolution or decide there isn t one 5 leads back to prior conditions talk about what happened to make sure Myths 1 Conflict can be avoided 2 Conflicts are because of poor communication 3 All conflict can be resolved 4 Conflict is always bad 482008 originally created for investmentsfinance benefits cost rewar s Prisoner s dilemma ex Goes along with amination of Thomas amp Kilmann s Conflict Grid l avoid or postpone conflict by ignoring it changing the subject etc Avoidance can be useful as a temporary measure to buy time or as an expedient means of dealing with very minor nonrecurring conflicts In more severe cases conflict avoidance can involve severing a relationshi or leaving a group giving in to the other person letting the other person win assert one39s viewpoint at the potential expense of another It can be useful when achievrng one39s objectives outweighs one39s concern for the relationship moderately high for both in the middle very high concern for self AND others come up with a unique and creative way to solve th problem in which nobody has to give up anything While the Thomas Kilman grid views collaboration as the only winwin solution to conflict collaboration can also be time intensive and inappropriate when there is not enough trust respect or communication among participants for collaboration to occur Types of emotions we catch one another s emotions help build and strengthen our relationships how much you lovecare about other cause problems angerfrustration do you know how to express our deal with your emotional situation Displaying emotions Describing emotions 4152008 4172008 Friendships are as important as all of our other relationships contrary to popular belief Most people believe friendships are automatic and require no work when you first meet someone communication follows scripts that the role says it should 2 getting to know Do you know quot Common interests 3 starting to personalize the relationship more start to self disclose and share more about ourselves uniqueness 4 quot 39 where we start to think of ourselves as being in a friendship 5 xpectation of continuity 6 slowly dying Drift apart Change Become different people A friendship becomes predictable and boring or is the same day after day it s not worth saving and will eventually fade away Geographic distance Sexual attraction Awwe mm Computer mediated communication in friendships 4222008 Committed romantic relationships Passion a feeling Commitment plans for futurebelief that relationship will last lntimacy feeling of closeness with the other person created through self disclosure Love an emotion similar to passion very strong feeling of liking towards another person PPM There a difference between love and commitment Six different stylestypes of love 3 primary and 3 secondary combinations 1 VERY passionate comes very quickly and burns out very fast comfortable form of love even keeled develops over time and continues to build 3 playful lovequot flirting playing a game seeing what happens not sure where the relationship is going as a whole but trying to see if it can work W combines Ludus with Storge playing around with the idea of love to find who meets our needs then we have a comfortable long lasting form of love not negative combines Eros and Ludus playful and its passionate spring break lovequot fun but no commitment at all very quick love but is passionate and emotional as well combines Eros and Storge comfortable even keeled as well as passionate tend to describe it as the way a parent feels for a child Love is dynamic and can change through the relationship Sta es of committed romantic relationships we have an expectation with a person and the type of relationship we would have but during initial conversations we realize that they are not what we re looking for 3 l 39 share information about ourselves and finding ways to communicate and connect looking for common ground 4 quot 7 m the couple in question starts to talk like the other and finish the other s sentences have weird nicknames the couple emerges as an actual couple look for intimate language 5 plan for the future commit to people through words marriage moving in and many other ways to express it Many romantic relationships never make it to stage 5 Where does love come into play in the growth stage 1 private set of rules in the relationship if you re going to be late to dinner call 2 deals with the idea that we have to make physical space in our life for this person is hisher picture up in the house somewhere extra toothbrush drawerfor them 3 if relationships are going to work you MUST have opportunities to talk about your day what happened plans for the next day with long distance these are harderto maintain 1 Dyadic breakdown changes in rules and communication habits in the relationship if the rules are changedbroken you may wonder what s wrong 2 lntrapsychic phase noticed the breakdown and changes in communication and we start to wonder about it take time in our day to question everything what did I do what happened why whenquot all in our mind 3 Dyadic phase go to the partner and discuss the problems at hand 4 Social support start talking about our relationship issues with other people bring in friends and family 5 Grave dressings involves the idea that once a relationship is over we have to bury it r a l our age group is experiencing the most of this statically starts over at honeymoon The cycle can become the relational culture in the navigational stage that could be and IS a very bad thing 4242008 h how communication works in the workplace the way in which the way the organization exists we communIcate d Network different from the hierarchy of work usually the STAR is a secretary to the boss Outlier no significant connections to the rest talking about actual work to buildmaintain relationships 1 i f set of theories if we pay attention to people and make them feel important they re going to work harder for us human relations are messages of praise and support people on a similar level work and communicate together a Informational task based messages talk about work and work only b Collegial talk about work but have also built somewhat of a friendship c Special relationships we build in the workplace that move beyond the workplace employees talking about the workplace that changes the perspective and views of that company upwarddownward communication above you or below you in your peer relationships 0 7 to 8 million romantic relationships from work 0 70 of employers are willing to allow office romances o If things are going well in that committed romantic relationship they re happier and more productive as well as oh I love this place because this is where I met quot 1 spend a lot of time there with that person where else would you meet someone and when would you have the energy to 2 always close together 3 people tend to find people similar to them in the workplace attractive because they understand the same thing and love it as well an accountant is going to love someone who likes numbers someone who is on top of their game is sexually arousing if you had to go through 3 interviews and a background test etc then the person next to you had to as well and is safe U P 39 to advance their career Types of romance Quinn found 1 employers allow 2 urely ego based 3 combination of ego and job Types of sexual harassment 1 Quid pro quo sex in exchange of rewards or with the threat of punishment 2 Hostile Environment most cases over 90 fall under this any unwanted sexual advances or discriminations based on sex 4292008 2 parents and their OWN PRODUCED children 2 parents and children from that union BUT also children that the parent ily step brotherssister vi one parent is the primary or only caregiver 2 people who have a serious committed relationship and have children but there is no bounds of marriage pe of family where the parents are of different racial or ethnic backgrounds 1 Interdependence a Communication triangle 2 Cultures different ways to communicate start of the cycle 3 aux o children from infant to the age of 5 focus moves from other to the kids 39 i arent is not influencing as much as teachers or peer groups are P 9501 are alone again generally very traumatic and causes a lot of divorces Retirement
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