Helping Skills in Family and Consumer Sciences
Helping Skills in Family and Consumer Sciences FCS 508
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Popular in Family and Consumer Sciences
This 6 page Class Notes was uploaded by Delores Kessler on Friday October 23, 2015. The Class Notes belongs to FCS 508 at University of Idaho taught by Laurel Branen in Fall. Since its upload, it has received 14 views. For similar materials see /class/227852/fcs-508-university-of-idaho in Family and Consumer Sciences at University of Idaho.
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Date Created: 10/23/15
FCS 508 Branen Assertiveness Training 1 The Four Types of Behavior A Passive 1 denies feelings does nothing feels hurtfrustrated 2 allows others to choose 3 does not achieve goal B Aggressive 1 denies feelings and rights of others 2 chooses for others 3 achieve goals at the expense of others C Passive aggressive 1 alternates between passive and aggressive 2 causes anger and confusion in others D Assertive 1 accepts own feelings feels good about self 2 chooses for self 3 may achieve goal It is important to acknowledge the may part You may not always get your way or resolve your con ict but you will feel better having expressed your feelings FCS 508 Branen Components of Assertive Behavior Before you can behave assertively you must believe you have the right to be assertive Second you must be able to consider the recipient s feelings In order words you must be able to put yourself in the recipient s shoes Assertive behavior includes a number of components Eye contact Look directly at the other person when you are speaking This communicates that you are sincere about what you are saying and that it is directed to that individual Body posture The weight of your messages to others will be increased if you face the person stand or sit appropriately close lean towards the person and hold your head erect Gestures A message with appropriate gestures takes on added emphasis However overenthusiastic gesturing can be a distraction from the message Facial expression Effective assertions require an expression that agrees with the message Do not smile while stating how angry you are Conversely do not say you are not upset when your face expresses that you are displeased Voice tone inflection volume A level wellmodulated conversational statement is convincing without being intimidating A whispered monotone seldom convinces another person that you mean business whereas shouting increases the recipient s defenses Timing Spontaneous expression will generally be your goal since hesitation may diminish the effect of an assertion Judgment is necessary however to select an appropriate occasion For example you need to speak to your boss in the privacy of an office rather than in front of a group of people where your boss may respond defensively Content Whatyou say is important though it often is less important than most of us generally believe People who have for years hesitated because they didn t know what to sayquot have found the practice of saying something to express their feelings at the time to be a valuable step toward greater spontaneous assertiveness Be sure to express your own feelings and to accept responsibility for them It is not necessary to put the other person down aggressive in order to express your feelings assertive Become aware of inflammatory words and avoid using them The Language of Assertiveness The language of assertiveness is often referred to as I language It is the most effective way to express feelings and opinions without making the listener defensive An I message has three main parts a feeling or want a non blameful description 0fthe situation and the effect the situation has on you An I message is generally given in a particular format I feel when because For example I feel angry when you suggest that I don t drive very well because I am very sensitive about my driving I feel hurt when you make plans without me because it seems that you are ignoring me A fourth and very useful component is to propose a solution to the situation Practice Your Assertiveness Skills The only way to become more assertive is to practice being assertive Make up an assertive response to the following situations 1 Your roommate has not been doing his or her share of work in your apartment or room 2 One of the people on your class project team has not been showing up for your project meetings 3 You believe that you should have received full credit for one of your exam answers instead of losing of the points Pick a safe reallife situation and practice your skills 1 Someone tries to cut in front of you in a checkout line at the grocery store 2 The book you ordered still has not arrived at the bookstore 3 A classmate frequently skips class and asks to borrow your notes Keep in mind that assertiveness is always a choice CASE STUDY 1 Job Situation You have been on a new job for one week when the supervisor attacks you for not following a certain procedure You had never been informed about this procedure How do you respond in an aggressive manner A passive manner Assertively CASE STUDY 2 Physician39s Office You have a doctor39s appointment for 130 to check a physical problem It39s 300 and you still are in the waiting room yet people who have come after you have seen the doctor Act out an aggressive response Act out a passive response Now practice being assertive CASE STUDY 3 Smoking Situation You are sitting at a softball game when a person sits down next to you and starts smoking a cigar Your eyes are tearing and it is very uncomfortable Respond in an aggressive manner Now practice being assertive FCS 508 Branen Challenging Blind Spots Addresses discrepancies between clients experiences of themselves and their world and the way things really are A Goals of challenging 1 helping clients interpret amp understand experiences behaviors feelings 2 helping clients explore the consequences of their behavior 3 helping clients develop new perspectives 4 helping clients talk about their problems when they are reluctant to 5 problem management action is the ultimate goal B Self challenge is the ideal may need to teach clients how C What needs to be challenged 1 failure to own problems 2 failure to define problems in solvable terms oh poor me 3 faulty interpretations of critical E B F 4 evasions distortions game playing 5 failure to identify or understand consequences of behavior 6 hesitancy or unwillingness to act on new perspectives Principles underlying effective challenging 1 keep goal in mind allow for self challenge earn the light to challenge deliver challenges tentatively as hunches that are open to discussion be speci c challenge unused strengths more than weaknesses challenge clients to clarify values Possible responses to challenging 1 discredit challenger you can t understand you re thin persuade challenger to change view devalue the issue maybe it really isn t that important seek support elsewhere for views being challenged agree with challenger capitulation wo self exploration
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