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Chapter 7 Notes

by: Cassidy Hall

Chapter 7 Notes H_D_FS 1610 - 01

Cassidy Hall
Intimate Relationships and Marriage
Ashton Chapman

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Chapter 7 Notes for 1610
Intimate Relationships and Marriage
Ashton Chapman
Class Notes
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This 0 page Class Notes was uploaded by Cassidy Hall on Monday November 2, 2015. The Class Notes belongs to H_D_FS 1610 - 01 at University of Missouri - Columbia taught by Ashton Chapman in Summer 2015. Since its upload, it has received 29 views. For similar materials see Intimate Relationships and Marriage in Human Development at University of Missouri - Columbia.

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Date Created: 11/02/15
Chapter 7 Communicating Closeness How Communication Promotes Intimacy Personal expressions and disclosures promote relationship maintenance We tend to pursue intimate relationships with people that make us feel understood cared for and validated Relationship Maintenance is the routine behaviors and strategies partners undertake to help ensure that their relationship will continue andor improve Expressions and Disclosures The Intimacy Process Model The intimacy process model is a framework that de nes intimacy as arising from interactions in which person A discloses or expresses self relevant thoughts and feelings to person B and based on person B s response comes to feel understood validated and cared for Relationship scientists often discuss responsiveness under the broad heading of empathy Empathy is the capacity to understand and share another person s thoughts and feelings 0 May have positive or negative implications for the relationship o It has positive implications if the partner has positive thoughts and feelings o It has negative implications if the partner has negative thoughts and feelings Communication and Intimacy Personal expressions and disclosure promote relationship maintenance Selfexpansion model is a perspective based on two assumptions people want to increase their capacity and efficacy as individual to achieve their goals and strive to acquire resources of various kinds enrich their identities and elaborate on what they know and what they can do intimate relationships are a common way people attempt to accomplish selfexpansion NonVerbal Communication Can Provide Peoples moods or meanings Regulate interaction 0 Relationship statuses Sensitivity and accuracy with which couples communicate nonverbally predicts relationship satisfaction Encoding vs Decoding How effective are we at sending messages Interpreting messages 0 Women tend to do better at both 0 Miscommunication linked to satisfaction 0 Nonverbal insensitivity may make a partner less rewarding o Dissatisfaction may result in less communication efforts Social Support Research shows that people who have stronger social integration have lower levels of mortality Social Integration is involvement with or connection to people around us Social Support responsiveness to the needs of others Visible Support is the efforts to promote the well being of a partner that the recipient is aware of receiving potentially undermining its value Invisible support is the efforts to promote the well being of a partner that the recipient is not aware of receiving Capitalization Capitalization is within an intimate relationship using positive events in each partners life as opportunities to nurture and promote closeness Broaden and Build Theory is the idea that experiencing and expressing positive emotions serve two purposes to expand and enhance how we attend to think about and respond to daily events and to accumulate the resourcesincluding physical health intellectual ad creative capacities spiritual connections and social relationshipsfor maintaining out wellbeing 0 Sharing positive events allows us to relive the events see that others are pleased for us and experience ourselves being viewed favorably by others Forgiveness Forgiveness is the process after being hurt by a partner s behavior of transforming anger and the desire to retaliate into a altruistic orientation toward the offender into an altruistic orientation toward the offender with a desire for reconciliation Much of the truly hard work in maintaining relationships arises when one partner hurts or betrays the other To forgive people you must be motived and show forgiving behavior 0 Motivation on a intrapersonal level 0 The wronged partner wants to be kind to the other person rather than feel anger and a thirst for vengeance 0 Behavior on an interpersonal level 0 The wronged partner lets the other know he or she no longer feels anger or a thirst for vengeance 0 Both behavior and motivation must be present for full forgiveness Silent Forgiveness is when there is a change in intrapersonal motivation but no change in interpersonal behavior Acts mad even though forgiven Hollow Forgiveness is when there is a change in interpersonal behavior but no change in intrapersonal motivation Acts happy but is still angry Forgiveness is most likely if the transgression was minor the victim has empathy agreeableness and a low level of neuroticism the transgressor apologizes the relationship contains a high level of commitment and satisfaction Forgiveness is a process that can unfold over a long span of time 0 Impact stage is the stage in the forgiveness process when partners learn of the transgression and begin to recognize the effect it has on them and their relationship a time of disorientation confusion and hurt feelings Meaning stage is the stage in the forgiveness process when the offended partner tries to make sense of why the transgression happened 0 Moving on is when the victim moves past the transgression Gottman39s Bids for Satisfaction Partners make bids to create increase maintain or reestablish connchon Partners make bids even when theyre not aware that they re doing it Loud sighs or huffs quotMy sister says the craziest stuff sometimesquot Whether or not partners pay attention to these bids matters the most Turning towards a partner 0 The bid is recognized and a positive response is given Turning against partners 0 Bid is recognized and the response is negative Turning away from partners 0 Bids may be recognized but no response is provided Turning away from a partners bids may lead our partner to stop making bids altogether but you are right in thinking that some bids may be negative or forcing being nice may lead to resentment Sexual Satisfaction Physical intimacy is positively related to relationship satisfaction and predicts the quality and stability of relationships Three possible reasons 0 Physical intimacy leads to relationship satisfaction 0 Especially for men 0 Relationship satisfaction leads to physical intimacy Some third variable leads to both 0 Quality of communication Motives for sex matter When people engage in physical intimacy in order to nd out if their partner still cares this is related to lower levels of satisfaction People are committed to a relationship think and behave differently than less committed partners do Committed partners experience cognitive interdependence positive iusions Perceived superiority makes one s partnerships seem 39special Intention to alternatives derogation of tempting alternatives


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