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Chapter 9 Notes: Friendship and Love

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by: Ashley Zack

Chapter 9 Notes: Friendship and Love 21211

Marketplace > Kent State University > Psychlogy > 21211 > Chapter 9 Notes Friendship and Love
Ashley Zack
GPA 3.206

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About this Document

These are all of the notes from chapter 9, I also added more than just what was in the slides to make it easier to understand.
Psychology of Adjustment
John Schell
Class Notes
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This 7 page Class Notes was uploaded by Ashley Zack on Tuesday November 3, 2015. The Class Notes belongs to 21211 at Kent State University taught by John Schell in Fall 2015. Since its upload, it has received 21 views. For similar materials see Psychology of Adjustment in Psychlogy at Kent State University.


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I'm really struggling in class and this study guide was freaking crucial. Really needed help, and Ashley delivered. Shoutout Ashley, I won't forget!

-Fanny Little


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Date Created: 11/03/15
Chapter 9: Friendship and Love CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS  Ingredients of close relationships? ­Important ­Interdependent ­Long­lasting  Types of close relationships ­family ­friends ­work ­romantic ­marriage ­online relationships  Capacity to arouse intense feelings ­positive (passion, concern, caring) ­negative (rage, jealousy, despair)  Paradox of close relationships ­relationships that have good and bad feelings  Types of intimacy ­emotional ­social ­recreational ­intellectual ­sexual ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS  Emphasis on love ­western value (people should be together because of love; it's a western thing) ­individualistic culture  Alternate Emphases ­appropriateness ­child­bearing capability ­companionship  Initial encounters and attraction ­proximity ("Absence makes the heart grow founder" is not true ­familiarity: The Mere Exposure Effect­ an increase in positive feelings towards a novel stimulus (person) based on frequent exposure. ­Increased familiarity leads to increased positive regard unless the initial meeting  was bad ­physical attractiveness ­gender differences­­>exaggerated? ­not the most important aspect for men or women unless it is a purely sexual  relationship ­cross­cultural research suggests that kindness, understanding, and  intelligence>physical attractiveness ­socioeconomic standard of attractiveness ­"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" ­Matching Hypothesis­ "proposes that people of similar levels of physical  attractiveness gravitate toward each other" ­Resource Exchange­ an evolutionary­based theory proposing that "in  heterosexual dating, males "trade" occupational status for physical attractiveness  in females" ­Parental Investment Theory­ states that women choose mates that will supply  resources needed to support offspring for many years  Relationship Development ­Reciprocal liking: we like those who like us ­Desirable personality characteristics: Warmth, Good sense of humor, Social  assertiveness, Kindness, Consideration, Honesty ­Similarity  ­age, race, religion, social class, education ­similar personality characteristics and attitudes (opposites do not attract)  Relationship Maintenance ­involves the actions and activities used to sustain the desired quality of a relationship ­what is important? (Minding the relationship) ­communication and conflict resolution skills ­self disclosure, emotional intimacy, intimacy in general ­commitment and optimism about your future together ­shared goals and dreams ­recognizing your partner's support and effort ­making positive attributions about your partners behavior  Conflict Resolution Skills ­Mutually constructive communication (the only good way for conflict resolution) ­Mutually destructive communication (adverse communication; critism, contempt) ­Demand­withdraw ­Mutual avoidance and withdraw TYPES OF LOVE  Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love ­Passion= the intense feelings (+/­) experienced in a relationship, including but not  limited to sexual desire ­Intimacy= warmth, closeness, and sharing in a relationship ­Commitment= the decision and intent to maintain a relationship in spite of the  difficulties and costs that may arise ­7 different types of relationships: Liking, Companionate love, Empty love, Fatuous  Love, Infatuation, Romantic love, Consummate love. RELATIONSHIP SUCCESS OR FAILURE?  Best predictors of long­term relationship success are commitment and intimacy  Why do relationships fail? ­premature commitment ­ineffective conflict resolution and conflict management skills ­boredom with the relationship ­not getting enough out of the relationship ­Social Exchange Theory­cost benefit analysis ­interdependence ­availability of a more attractive relaitonship BAD RELATIONSHIPS  Poor communication skills  Poor conflict resolution skills  Lack of intimacy  Unhappy with the relationship, partner, or self  Needs not being met  Jealousy, lack of trust, and insecurity  Possessiveness (Passion=Love)  Controlling (Power within the relationship)  Power struggles  Lack of acceptance and support  Diminished self­esteem  Loss of self in the relationship  Dependent or co­dependent (interdependent=good) ­"I can't live without him."  Unable to leave the unhealthy relationship FRIENDSHIPS  What makes a good friend? ­Psychology Today surveyed 40,000 readers and the result was loyalty is the main factor ­Other important factors include warmth, emotional support, unconditional affection, and  letting friends be/have friends ­Similarity ­Shared interests/activities; values/goals ­Peer Group Formation­Robbers Cave Study ­Role of cooperation and competition ­Popularity and social competence ­emotion regulation and social skills ­communication skills ­conflict resolution ­Self­Disclosure ­Social Cognition ­understanding of friendship ­perspective­taking and empathy  Function of Friendships ­Reduces loneliness (companionship) and boredom (stimulation) ­Affords us physical and emotional support ­Lowers anxiety and stress ­Improves self­esteem ­Helps us develop and practice social skills ­Facilitates social comparison ­Teaches us about intimacy and affection  Gender differences ­Men: ­Friendships based on shared interests ­Friendships regulated more by gender roles ­Women:  ­Friendships focus on talking and emotional intimacy ­More likely to discuss personal issues and feelings


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